Hide it some place with non-euclidean angles, inside Cthulhu's alarm clock?
hide it in the empty set.
Well, look how they got me all tied up. You make a rope out of things that don't exist. So for this you make a bag out of things that don't exist and let the contents disappear inside.
-Magic of Incarnum Min Maxers guide.
-Charlie Sheens self control
-Cheney's heart
-Drizz't Flaws
-Robert Jordan's Editor
-A Goblin's fear of fire
-The bottom of Cayden Cailean's drinking mug.
The sun.I used to have a player who, every time there was an artifact or a bad guy or something that needed to be taken care of, would summon a celestial and yell "INTO THE SUN!" and make them teleport the evil whatever straight into the heart of a burning star. (After all, the celestials are selfless, and reform automatically on their home plane....)
While not exactly evil, it made the creatures he summoned a little twitchy.
But we know now that the sun is merely a portal to the positive energy plane, and that it's inhabited by energymentals that aren't really nice.
So you want to give it all to those jerks?
How about this: You cant destroy the artifact, but you can turn it into something else, specifically someone else. Maybe it becomes a mortal, a very powerful mortal, but mortal still, and with a great lust for life and women. All it´s decendants excell in defending them-selves and have enoumous potential for whatever path in life they choose. The only way to get the artifact, is to kill everyone that shares the bloodline, and performing a special ritual on the last one. This means to get the artifact, one has to essentially kill the most powerful mages, effective assasins and excellent warriors in the lands, maybe the planes (I mean, the bloodline is filled with high-level adventures)
On top of that, the less of these decendants there are, the more powerful the rest becomes (Think the Bhaal-Spawn from the Baldurs Gate PC games)
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How about this: You cant destroy the artifact, but you can turn it into something else, specifically someone else. Maybe it becomes a mortal, a very powerful mortal, but mortal still, and with a great lust for life and women. All it´s decendants excell in defending them-selves and have enoumous potential for whatever path in life they choose. The only way to get the artifact, is to kill everyone that shares the bloodline, and performing a special ritual on the last one. This means to get the artifact, one has to essentially kill the most powerful mages, effective assasins and excellent warriors in the lands, maybe the planes (I mean, the bloodline is filled with high-level adventures)
On top of that, the less of these decendants there are, the more powerful the rest becomes (Think the Bhaal-Spawn from the Baldurs Gate PC games)
... And one of them is in the party. (Only do this part if you don't do the "more powerful" thing.)
Am I the only one who gets flashes of talk shows? "I carry an artefact's baby!"
Place the item inside the your left sock and do the laundry. Gone.
You know what. Screw it. Hide it inside a concept. A literal concept. Watch people search for somethign literal when you actually put it inside the color yellow, or mortality, or in the idea of a right angle.
Welcome to planescape. S~*& gets weird yo.
Reminds me of the Hooloovoo, a superinteligent shade of the color blue.
Come to think of it, a god could transmute the artifact into a color.
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I am DMing in the planescape universe. I am having an artifact the can kill gods. It is completely indestructible. Because they could not destroy it the gods did the next best thing and hide it. Where do you hide something you never what to be found?
I have already thought of the plane of negative energy, but there are people of a sort there.
I would put it in the possession of Torag, who keeps it inside his throne in Heaven. He has sworn an oath before all the good aligned gods to never use this weapon save by unanimous decision of all the good aligned gods, and to never permit its usage by another.
Or put it in a secret chest (as per the spell) and forget about it so it becomes lost in the ethereal plane.
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This a thousand times!|
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Or put it in a secret chest (as per the spell) and forget about it so it becomes lost in the ethereal plane.^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This a thousand times!
Anything that is lost will eventually be found.
It may take eons, but eventually, it will be found.
... And one of them is in the party. (Only do this part if you don't do the "more powerful" thing.)How about this: You cant destroy the artifact, but you can turn it into something else, specifically someone else. Maybe it becomes a mortal, a very powerful mortal, but mortal still, and with a great lust for life and women. All it´s decendants excell in defending them-selves and have enoumous potential for whatever path in life they choose. The only way to get the artifact, is to kill everyone that shares the bloodline, and performing a special ritual on the last one. This means to get the artifact, one has to essentially kill the most powerful mages, effective assasins and excellent warriors in the lands, maybe the planes (I mean, the bloodline is filled with high-level adventures)
On top of that, the less of these decendants there are, the more powerful the rest becomes (Think the Bhaal-Spawn from the Baldurs Gate PC games)
This, right here, is my favorite idea. What an excellent way to wrap up a campaign!
This, right here, is my favorite idea. What an excellent way to wrap up a campaign!... And one of them is in the party. (Only do this part if you don't do the "more powerful" thing.)How about this: You cant destroy the artifact, but you can turn it into something else, specifically someone else. Maybe it becomes a mortal, a very powerful mortal, but mortal still, and with a great lust for life and women. All it´s decendants excell in defending them-selves and have enoumous potential for whatever path in life they choose. The only way to get the artifact, is to kill everyone that shares the bloodline, and performing a special ritual on the last one. This means to get the artifact, one has to essentially kill the most powerful mages, effective assasins and excellent warriors in the lands, maybe the planes (I mean, the bloodline is filled with high-level adventures)
On top of that, the less of these decendants there are, the more powerful the rest becomes (Think the Bhaal-Spawn from the Baldurs Gate PC games)
+1. That will do it!
Or put it in a secret chest (as per the spell) and forget about it so it becomes lost in the ethereal plane.^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This a thousand times!Anything that is lost will eventually be found.
It may take eons, but eventually, it will be found.
Point being? It's nonetheless hidden, however eventual its finding may be, which was the OP's question.
:)
Place the item inside the your left sock and do the laundry. Gone.
two votes for left sock do not a right sock make.
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How about this: You cant destroy the artifact, but you can turn it into something else, specifically someone else. Maybe it becomes a mortal, a very powerful mortal, but mortal still, and with a great lust for life and women. All it´s decendants excell in defending them-selves and have enoumous potential for whatever path in life they choose. The only way to get the artifact, is to kill everyone that shares the bloodline, and performing a special ritual on the last one. This means to get the artifact, one has to essentially kill the most powerful mages, effective assasins and excellent warriors in the lands, maybe the planes (I mean, the bloodline is filled with high-level adventures)
On top of that, the less of these decendants there are, the more powerful the rest becomes (Think the Bhaal-Spawn from the Baldurs Gate PC games)
For a plot to wrap up a campaign, this is the best idea so far. Especially the part about one of these descendants being a party member.
Bottom of the Endless Staircase.
On a plane/world with no magic. (Earth? Gives you reason to use those firearms rules.)
On an infinite plane, being flown off by a non-intelligent construct.
Other questions arise too, such as if people can identify it (not the spell) or if it can be dismantled (not broken) or who can use it.
If only gods can identify or use it, put it a place anathema to gods (Far Realms).
If it can be dismantled, have watchers over each. If some go missing, RED ALERT across the planes.
If demons (et al.) can't use it, hurtle it into the Abyss or one of those many endless pits.
Carceron, in a place gods can't escape, perhaps chained to a Titan God-Killer who's trapped. (Of course, if he can use it, and then gets rescued...)
Drop it in a black hole. Behind the event horizon is a singularity where the normal laws of the universe break down, and so you can't rely on magic or other forces to work the way you want them to work.
That is too easy a solution.
cast permanacy and teleport 4 times so the artifact is always in a state of constant teleport state like doomsday
I have to say I like the plane without magic idea best. Not only does it keep the thing safe it works as a trap for people that want to kill gods.
The thing is I am DMing. So if I hide it perfectly it will never become part of the story. So I need a way for the PC's to get it that no one has managed ever.
When faced with a similar quandry the party I was running for hid the evil artifact in the privy. No-one ever looked for it there.
You have obviously never gamed with Harmor. He will jump into a cesspool of filth in order to get to a magical turd...lol!!
lets see... mcguffin dispersal method.
Pro: Poetic and Epic
Con: May involve a mass genocide of Paladins. Could be a pro depending on the campagin
Pro: Its the Tarrasque!
Con: Everyone knows the Tarrasque
Pro: Will not slay the gods. Is statted, has ready-made cult
Con: Still a big guard strategy, mitigated by how the Mantis god can cross planes, and has a cult to oppose the party.
Pro: Classic Dungeoneering challenge.
Con: Conversions of the tomb lack punch. Veterans may already be familiar with it.
Pro: If it still exists, who's gonna go in after it? The sphere can move!
Con: Moving the sphere cannot be allowed to free the artifact. Also, rods of cancelation.
Use Modify Memory, Obscure Object and Polymorph. Make it so it is a plain, un divinable item that makes you forget its existence should you find it.
Pro: Can be wherever the plot leads it
Con: Odd, and presents no slayables in itself
In the core of the planet I wonder where you cannot survive the pressure.
I once hid an artifact in a person as well. Only it was a strange island where the inhabitants were all small children made ridiculously naive and a series of nearly unbeatable guards set to protect them. It was a perfect place and had been uninterrupted for thousands of years as had the children and the guards. One of the girls was the shell that possessed the artifact and to get it she had to be slain which would destroy her forever. This led to some moral issues that got to be played out. It was pretty fun, though I wish had introduced the island earlier in the campaign and the had them realize later "Wow we were so close to it". The girl wasn't any more or less special than the other children and the guards could be almost anything.
Put artifact in left sock
Put left sock in dryer.
Seriously, do even gods know where these left socks go?
So that is what the f*&@ happened to my left sock. That was my left sock of God Slaying. And you had to put it in the dryer, DESPITE it saying "Hand Wash ONLY!!!" ~snarls and walks off wondering where left socks go when they are put in the dryer~
Deep within the Blindeyes of an Innocent child that is both bless and cursed to always reincarnate after death unless the item is removed with the proper ritual :) that the child must be tricked into performing
take it to the center of the Outlands
SIMPLE
Put it into a Sphere of Annihilation - it won't be destroyed, but just WHO is going to put a hand/tentacle/minion retriever into there are pull it out - never mind have any kind of sense or appendage left to feel around and grab it?
Hell - could any appendage be LONG enough to find the 'edges' of the hole even if it wasn't destroyed?
THEN send the Sphere into the furthest Outer Planes and fire it off at high speed towards the biggest, blackest, mind-warping expanse you can find BEYOND those.
'They' will never find it, and 'they' will never be able to get it out even if they do.