Overheard at the Paizo office


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...what happens if you cast haste and expeditious retreat on the soda machine? Or...oh god...fly?

Silver Crusade

Now stat up an awakened soda machine...


3 people marked this as a favorite.
Jason wrote:

I am done with my development pass....

Jason

Soda Machine CR 10
XP 9,600
NE Large construct
<snip>

I have been wondering what Jason's been up to lately...

Clearly it's working on Ultimate WTF?

Contributor

4 people marked this as a favorite.
Celestial Healer wrote:
Now stat up an awakened soda machine...

...What makes you think our soda machine *isn't*? >.>

Paizo Employee Director of Sales

Drejk wrote:
Can we just favorite the Jason's comment and ignore Cosmo's part?

Everyone's a critic...


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cs erik: but... but my character dual wields sporks!

gary: my character rides a motorcycle and keeps a nuclear device in its sidecart that goes off if the character dies

robot chris: CUPHOLDER OF OGRE DECAPITATION


3 people marked this as a favorite.

gary: doh. now somebody's going to mock me for stealing from neal stephenson


Cosmo wrote:
Drejk wrote:
Can we just favorite the Jason's comment and ignore Cosmo's part?
Everyone's a critic...

Damn, I really should invest some skill ranks into Disguise.


Feiya wrote:

gary: my character rides a motorcycle and keeps a nuclear device in its sidecart that goes off if the character dies...

doh. now somebody's going to mock me for stealing from neal stephenson

Good PCs copy, great PCs steal. {makes note to memorize shatter before confronting PMG's PC's glass knives}

Contributor

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PMG: "Can you just file that under 'knives?'"

Paizo Employee Director of Sales

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Me: *posts link to one of my favorite webcomics*

Ross: You're weird

Robot Chris: the sky is blue

Robot Chris: it's Tuesday

Robot Chris: I technically have 4 limbs

Dark Archive

so Robot Chris has effectively more or less than 4 limbs?


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Crimson Jester wrote:
thunderspirit wrote:
Crimson Jester wrote:
pride dignity self respect sanity....then you start giggling.
...and then the girls become teenagers. And believe me, you stop giggling.
Or the sons become teens and yes the giggling still stops.

The giggling stops when someone's pregnant.


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BluePigeon wrote:
Crimson Jester wrote:
thunderspirit wrote:
Crimson Jester wrote:
pride dignity self respect sanity....then you start giggling.
...and then the girls become teenagers. And believe me, you stop giggling.
Or the sons become teens and yes the giggling still stops.
The giggling stops when someone's pregnant.

It's all fun and games until someone becomes pregnant.

Contributor

3 people marked this as a favorite.

11 AM: “It’s all about sad sex with the fish assassin.”

5 PM: “Whoa! It’s like standing between two giant reflective chickens!”

Context omitted to protect the guilty.


Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path, Lost Omens Subscriber
F. Wesley Schneider wrote:

11 AM: “It’s all about sad sex with the fish assassin.”

5 PM: “Whoa! It’s like standing between two giant reflective chickens!”

Context omitted to protect the guilty.

That's it -- I'm putting together an adventure with two giant reflective chickens running away from a fish assassin.


Cosmo wrote:
Robot Chris: I technically have 4 limbs
ulgulanoth wrote:
so Robot Chris has effectively more or less than 4 limbs?

Robot Chris also works part-time as an Evil Assistant(tm) for Doctor Octopus.

Former VP of Finance

5 people marked this as a favorite.

Robot Chris: and then boom!

Robot Chris: human interferance!

Robot Chris: but he's all "NUUU POPCOOOORN I LUVS UUU"


Liz Courts wrote:
Celestial Healer wrote:
Now stat up an awakened soda machine...
...What makes you think our soda machine *isn't*? >.>

It has to be. To survive the Dire Vending Machine's attacks on its territory.

RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32

7 people marked this as a favorite.

Cosmo: CAPSLOCK RENDER NOUN-VERB AGREEMENT UNNECESSARY


4 people marked this as a favorite.
Emperor7 wrote:
Liz Courts wrote:
Celestial Healer wrote:
Now stat up an awakened soda machine...
...What makes you think our soda machine *isn't*? >.>
It has to be. To survive the Dire Vending Machine's attacks on its territory.

It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a soda machine.

>_

Former VP of Finance

SLAaDOS wrote:
Emperor7 wrote:
Liz Courts wrote:
Celestial Healer wrote:
Now stat up an awakened soda machine...
...What makes you think our soda machine *isn't*? >.>
It has to be. To survive the Dire Vending Machine's attacks on its territory.

It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a soda machine.

>_

use Soda Machine Master Key


Chris Self wrote:
SLAaDOS wrote:
Emperor7 wrote:
Liz Courts wrote:
Celestial Healer wrote:
Now stat up an awakened soda machine...
...What makes you think our soda machine *isn't*? >.>
It has to be. To survive the Dire Vending Machine's attacks on its territory.

It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a soda machine.

>_

use Soda Machine Master Key

Get ye flask


Pathfinder Rulebook Subscriber

Use babushka


2 people marked this as a favorite.

Lissa Future pie is the best pie.

Lissa Wait, no. Screw that. PRESENT pie is the best pie.

Grand Lodge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

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Chris Lambertz wrote:

Lissa Future pie is the best pie.

Lissa Wait, no. Screw that. PRESENT pie is the best pie.

Wrong again: the best pie is Pinkie Pie!


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As I'm gazing out the window, basking in glorious snow... a door opens!

Sarah Robinson So, you've been upgraded to hobo!

Cosmo Yay!

RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32

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Crystal: I've been surreptitiously tasting all my co-workers and compiling a database around their flavor, diet, and work habits.

Liberty's Edge Contributor

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Ross, what part of "secret database" don't you understand?


Kunji My mom told me not take food from strangers.

Sovereign Court

Crystal Frasier wrote:
Ross, what part of "secret database" don't you understand?

Wait. Is this for cataloging and determining consumption sequence of your fellow employees in case you become zombified?


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Sean Do, or do not, there is no FAQ.

Paizo Employee Director of Sales

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In which we discuss the lingering effects of sleep deprivation...

...

...

Robot Chris: lack of sleep tends to lead to cheerful murderizing

Erik the Algorithm: Also Clowns

Me: lack of sleep leads to clowns?

Gary: clowns lead to lack of sleep

Gary: and moar clowns


Can't sleep, clown will eat me...


1 person marked this as a favorite.

Can't clown, sleep will eat me...

The Exchange

Can't eat, Sleep will Clown me...

Former VP of Finance

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Lissa Guillet: I feel like we're stuck in a fight between mom and dad over the thermostat only on the scale of Seattle.


I would give my customary phrase when the weather's wonky,

but none of you are anywhere near Alabama.

Sovereign Court

Heck, up in Asheville NC, the saying is "if you don't like the weather, wait 15 minutes."


zylphryx wrote:
Heck, up in Asheville NC, the saying is "if you don't like the weather, wait 15 minutes."

Having staffed a technical conference there last year, I can verify that this is indeed the saying and is accurate.

Grand Lodge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32

1 person marked this as a favorite.
zylphryx wrote:
Heck, up in Asheville NC, the saying is "if you don't like the weather, wait 15 minutes."

They have the same saying in southern Missouri as well as Minnesota, and a couple of other places I can't remember. Everyone seems to think their own weather is the weirdest.

In fact, Minnesota also has the saying "we have three seasons: winter, more winter, and road construction"; yet they still ALSO have the "wait 15min" saying.


Except for Hawaii. Their saying is "If you don't like the weather, GTFO mainlander." Those Hawaiians...not very nice at all.


Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber; Pathfinder Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
Jiggy wrote:
zylphryx wrote:
Heck, up in Asheville NC, the saying is "if you don't like the weather, wait 15 minutes."

They have the same saying in southern Missouri as well as Minnesota, and a couple of other places I can't remember. Everyone seems to think their own weather is the weirdest.

In fact, Minnesota also has the saying "we have three seasons: winter, more winter, and road construction"; yet they still ALSO have the "wait 15min" saying.

I always liked the fact that we can see 4 seasons in 4 days in Minnesota.

Silver Crusade

In Southern California, we generally remind people that if they don't like nice, warm, sunshiny weather-- move to another state...

Our weather's usually quite pleasant and quite stable, all year round.


Finn Kveldulfr wrote:
Our weather's usually quite pleasant and quite stable, all year round.

Except when it's not, and then you get four seasons: Summer, earthquake, fire and mudslide...


Readerbreeder wrote:
Finn Kveldulfr wrote:
Our weather's usually quite pleasant and quite stable, all year round.

Except when it's not, and then you get four seasons: Summer, earthquake, fire and mudslide...

You forgot drought.

Silver Crusade

mmmm, yeah-- we got those too. But it doesn't change sunshine'n'clear (or smoggy) skies most of the year. :P

Silver Crusade

Jiggy wrote:
zylphryx wrote:
Heck, up in Asheville NC, the saying is "if you don't like the weather, wait 15 minutes."

They have the same saying in southern Missouri as well as Minnesota, and a couple of other places I can't remember. Everyone seems to think their own weather is the weirdest.

In fact, Minnesota also has the saying "we have three seasons: winter, more winter, and road construction"; yet they still ALSO have the "wait 15min" saying.

I have encountered very few places where that is NOT a saying, and most of the exceptions have already been mentioned.

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