Corrupt the Wish

[Trinite]

Granted.

...

...

...

...

...

Ok, that's all you get. Hope you had fun.

I wish I could drink beer at work.

[lucky7]

Granted. It is now mandatory. At least a 12-pack a day.

I wish this song didn't depress me so much.

[Trinite]

(Thanks for not corrupting my wish!)

Granted, it now depresses you more.

I wish more Hollywood actors had facial moles.

[Archpaladin Zousha]

Granted. Now all Hollywood actors have naked mole rats growing out of their faces. Most of their interviews now consist of screaming.

I wish I had a fat girlfriend.

[Little Skylark]

Granted, you have a girlfriend, she is fat, she steals from you and has a horrible character.

I wish my food was free, tasteful and nutritious.

[lucky7]

Granted, but you're giving it away.

I wish I had the ability to conjure Root Beers out of midair.

[Trinite]

Granted. You start a chain reaction that turns all the air into root beer, wiping out all life on earth.

I wish my broken Buck O'Neil bobble-head doll would fix itself.

[lucky7]

Granted, but it adds a laser cannon, and you die.

I wish Henry Cavill was less handsome.

[Trinite]

lucky7 wrote:

Granted, but it adds a laser cannon, and you die.

I wish Henry Cavill was less handsome.

Granted, he becomes less handsome and more beautiful. He transitions into Henrietta Cavill, and Zach Snyder casts her as Wonder Woman.

I wish they would make a really good Wonder Woman movie.

[Rock Lord]

Granted, but the misogynistic producers in hollywood decide to never let it see the light of day and destroy it, along with all clips and records of it ever existing in the first place, enacting infernal pacts to keep everyone involved from ever revealing its existence *urk*

I wish I could get this to play whenever my Magus character "loads up" a shocking grasp spell into his blade.

[lucky7]

Granted, but since it's your signature move, everyone gets sick of it.

I wish for CR appropiate monsters to kill.

[Old Doc Flumph]

Granted, but the only creature with a CR as low as yours is a baby...enjoy.

I wish I could get enough sleep.

[lucky7]

Granted, but you have a reaction to the sleeping pills. Who knew cyanide was bad for you?

I wish I could control kaiju.

[Trinite]

Granted! Here's your controller.

I wish my library would close two hours early tonight.

[lucky7]

Granted, but now you owe 2,000 dollars in late fees on "How to Make Sock Puppets"

I wish for superdupercool action figures!

[Charles Scholz]

Here they are.

I wish I already have the Skull and Shackles minis.

[lucky7]

Granted, but no one wants to play Skulls and Shackles with you!

I wish I had Way of the Wicked minis.

[Mystic Lemur]

Granted, but now you can never find the right one for the encounter you're running.

I wish for pizza.

[Sissyl]

Then you... Ummm... Yeah, okay, you can have pizza. With corn, potatoes, asparagus and mustard.

I wish there was a beautiful, clean, hygienic and open toilet near here.

[Mr. Snow's Cat]

Granted! It appears 200 feet in the air above and begins falling ( make a reflex save!)

I wish for a pet tiger who obeys my every command.

[Kat's Eye]

Granted. You now have a blind/deaf pet tiger.

I wish for an endless supply of catnip.

[Sissyl]

Granted. It is truly endless. The universe is sucked into the infinite ball of catnip. The end.

I wish I had my own tame pet kaiju.

[lucky7]

Granted, but you're gonna need a bigger litter box than that.

I wish for the ability to psychically choose what number I rolled on any die.

[Gruumash .]

Granted but the gaming industry finds out about this ability and removes you from the equation.

I wish I have cybernetic implants.

[lucky7]

Granted. Your colon now gets rid of poo 50% more efficiently.

I wish for the Evil Baby Orphanage to be a thing.

[Gruumash .]

Granted it is a thing and you are on its menu for dinner.

I wish I could go home now.

[lucky7]

Granted. Home is where the heart is, and the heart is in your body.

I wish someone would join in the Tomb of Borrors.

[Little Skylark]

Someone does, but that someone is only there to make things harder, creepy and somehow also a bit silly.

I wish I could read people's intentions through a computer screen.

[Charles Scholz]

Granted, but lugging a computer screen everywhere is tiring.

I wish I was on vacation in Hawaii.

[lucky7]

Granted. Did I mention Hawaii is a bunch of volcanoes, some of which are active!

I wish for the ability to mentally contact people over long distances, and for them to be able to reply.

[Sissyl]

Granted! You can now listen to the thoughts of every juggalo within thousand miles... at all times. You can even send them your thoughts, which they perceive as getting unfocused and strange.

I wish everyone around me got word balloons when they said bad stuff about me.

[lucky7]

Granted! Sadly, they're in Arabic.

I wish for better ethics.

[SnowJade]

Granted! Every PC must now be a Paladin, and we all die of boredom.

I, on the other hand, wish that those blasted goody-goody types would stop saying "I'll pray for you"!

[Locke1520]

Granted they stop using the contraction "I'll" and instead say, "I will pray for you."

I wish it were Saturday already.

[Jack Rabbit Slim]

Granted. Welcome to Saturday, August 14, 2613.

I wish I could control my road rage.

[lucky7]

Granted. I steal your car.

I wish for it to be Wednesday already.

[Little Skylark]

It is Wednesday, Wednesday August 18, 2613. Maybe you'll run into Locke 1520.

I wish I could do a somersault without hurting myself.

[SnowJade]

Granted...in your dreams, as in mine.

I wish I were better with computers.

[Jack Rabbit Slim]

Granted. You go to prison where you learn to refurbish them.

I wish that I knew who will win the next Superbowl.

[Charles Scholz]

Granted, but you are arrested for points shaving.

I wish I was going to GenCon.

[Sissyl]

Granted. The first in your booked series of flights starts now. How come you never knew of Trebuchet Travel Agency before?

I wish people everywhere would choose to be kind to one another.

[Little Skylark]

Have you seen Serenity?

Spoiler:

Everybody dies

I wish there was no global warming.

[Schism]

Granted. There is now nuclear winter.

I wish I had my own dungeon.

[lucky7]

Granted, but a band of adventurers kills you.

I wish I wasn't sunburnt.

[Dr G House MD, DDS, DVM]

Granted, you now have frost bite.

I wish my copy of Mythic Adventures was in my hands already.

[Sissyl]

Granted, it falls into your hands... which were last seen in the luggage retrieval in Vladivostok.

I wish for a horde of smelly otyughs.

[lucky7]

Granted, but they end up only being able to come into your adventure through the dreaded SHOWER.

I wish for the world to START getting put on the right course.

[Jack Rabbit Slim]

Granted. The "right course" , according to a race of warlike aliens, is directly into our own sun.

I wish I could be on an episode of Charles in Charge.

[lucky7]

Granted, but he commands you to jump in a pit.

I wish for these crazy punks to get out of the house.

[Little Skylark]

They do, through the walls, which made the house collapse, but no crazy punks got hurt!

I wish narwhals would star in more nature documentaries.