Just a Mort |
Limeylongears wrote:Freehold DM wrote:I always open my bottles with a duck.Just a Mort wrote:Couldn't find the c*ckscrew and couldn't push the spoon deep enough to get to twist the cork out. I'm not desperate enough to start using the house keys, or a screw and a hammer. And I heard pushing the cork in ruins the flavour. Guess I'm going to bed sober tonight...
Lets just say I'm not really good at this kinda thing.
...you really shouldn't use the cockscrew. You should use the corkscrew. It works much better.
Poor cock was never meant to be used in that way...
I understood that reference. [/Cap]
Edit: Corkscrew-y ducks explained by Ze Frank. Possibly NSFchildren or work.
That was interesting. Didn't know bird reproduction got that...competitive.
NobodysHome |
Good news for me, I just found out that I'm getting a raise. I expected to, I've gotten one every year, but it's always nice to know for sure. So 3% extra money for me to do the exact same b~&!#~#* as always. Whee!!
Thanks for sharing that!
After the dot-boom days of the late 1990s/early 2000s, I got accustomed to raises of 5-15% every year.
Then I joined Global Megacorporation, and was lucky to get 0.5-0.75%. They claim to have "upgraded" so now I'm getting all of 3% a year, and I had no idea how that compared to other industries; seemed pretty chintzy. But seeing a totally different industry giving the exact same raise says, "OK, 3% just isn't so bad."
NobodysHome |
I'm sober again. The cat body metabolizes 1 drink/h. Besides when I looked at the bottle, I realized it was half gone... That didn't take long, did it =(
Wow. I think I weigh quite a bit more than you, and my metabolic rate was 1 drink per 2 hours.
Of course, I'm a wee bit older...
NobodysHome |
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And here i thought i was done with filling out tax b!%!$$&*.
But then our [redacted] decided to give everyone a 100 per child
bribetax credit, just forthe off chance we'll vote for himexisting.
I'm still not voting for the a@&@!*~I'm gonna buy soooo many lottery tickets!
My mother-in-law had me do her taxes for the first couple of years after she was widowed, in spite of my insistence that she'd be a lot better off hiring a CPA. Then she started doing her own taxes, and she was really proud of the independence that gave her (or at least made her feel). I don't know what happened, but this year's taxes were particularly complex, so she finally took our advice and hired a CPA.
And the CPA totally screwed things up and she's under investigation by the IRS.
D'oh!
(And yes, she's dumping it all in the CPA's lap to fix it, but it's still an embarrassment.)
Just a Mort |
The science of drinking. And hopefully a rough guide of knowing when you've had too much.
Alcohol is metabolized (broken down) by the body at a rate of 0.016% per hour.1 It doesn’t matter if you are 6’4” or 4’6” or if you drank red wine or moonshine.
Size doesn't make a difference.
Just a Mort |
This isn't quite working the way I expected...if you're looking at the calculations for the science for drinking, I was drinking 200 ml of 28% alcohol peach liqueur.
...I took 3 standard drinks (US Standard) and ended up with a blood alcohol content of 0.102%. Then went off to cook dinner afterwards. Eh - I don't think I had any trouble walking, or speech problems.
Conclusion: Sweetish stuff makes you think its lighter then it is, so if you're not careful, you drink more then you intended to.
Just a Mort |
Cap'n Yesterday, Flim Flam Man wrote:And here i thought i was done with filling out tax b!%!$$&*.
But then our [redacted] decided to give everyone a 100 per child
bribetax credit, just forthe off chance we'll vote for himexisting.
I'm still not voting for the a@&@!*~I'm gonna buy soooo many lottery tickets!My mother-in-law had me do her taxes for the first couple of years after she was widowed, in spite of my insistence that she'd be a lot better off hiring a CPA. Then she started doing her own taxes, and she was really proud of the independence that gave her (or at least made her feel). I don't know what happened, but this year's taxes were particularly complex, so she finally took our advice and hired a CPA.
And the CPA totally screwed things up and she's under investigation by the IRS.
D'oh!
(And yes, she's dumping it all in the CPA's lap to fix it, but it's still an embarrassment.)
My company helps me file my tax, and I'm happy for that since doing the maths would just eat the thoughts out of my head.
NobodysHome |
1 person marked this as a favorite. |
The science of drinking. And hopefully a rough guide of knowing when you've had too much.
website wrote:Size doesn't make a difference.Alcohol is metabolized (broken down) by the body at a rate of 0.016% per hour.1 It doesn’t matter if you are 6’4” or 4’6” or if you drank red wine or moonshine.
Let's just say that any paper published in an industry journal that states that any aspect of the human body does not vary by gender, race, age, physical conditioning, or any other factor is... er... "questionable" in my mind.
Ooh! And I even used a polite word for it and everything!
EDIT: Because let's be blunt: If scientists found ANYTHING that was consistent across all of humanity, it would be major scientific news. "This ONE factor is the same for ALL humans."
The skeptic in me says, "No."
EDIT 2: OK, it's not the original research that's at fault; it's the people who cite it. We have phrases such as, "It is thus demonstrated that a range of apparent linear rates, from as little as 120 mg l−1 h−1 to over 200 mg l−1 h−1, can be seen in a single subject."
So the article says nothing about the rate being constant across humanity. In fact, it says just the opposite.
But I'll believe that they didn't find a correlation between size and alcohol metabolism; your enzymes don't care how big you are. But I would love to see body fat percentage vs. metabolism, because I believe that *is* a factor. But asking someone to gain 40 pounds of fat for a research project just might be considered a teensy bit unethical...
Ben Affleck, mallard at large |
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In a way, it's an honor to be stung by a bee. They hate you so much that they are willing to die just to cause you a mild amount of pain.
This could also arguably apply to all the idiot drivers willing to kill themselves, both accidentally and seemingly deliberately, while trying to inconvenience/irritate you in traffic.
If Stan Lee were to pass away while the MCU was still a thing, they should totally have Deadpool take over doing the cameos.
Or Matt Damon. Two, two cameos so far! AH-AH-AH-AH! {cue cheap thunder & lightning effects}
Kjeldorn |
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Oh I missed so much...
First of, happy you had a nice trip kitty!
*Picks up Mort and fluffs her*
And what this? Feels like there's a bit more junk in Kitty's trunk ^^
You don't have a corkscrew?!
*Notes down a corkscrew for an eventual "If I ever get to it" package-o'-goodies for Mort kitty*
@NH.
You're a braver man the I.
Knowing what I was like in the 15-18 age bracket, I'm not sure I would trust myself with an empty house.
Sampling the liquor cabinet, watching porn and "sexual exploration"*
where pretty standart fare at most "home-alone with friends" scenarios back then. Though we didn't do any stealing and where never really into all the "breaking shit"
Edit: Meh, the above sounds a bit too alarmist. I don't think we were all that bad. It's just that teens, tend to da as teens does. Testing limits and exploring themselves and each other.
* From make-out sessions to mutual/group masturbation to outright copulation. Or at least you would if you were socially adapt enough enough to be invited (I was a border case, cause I was "Funny"), so I saw more f!&$ing, then I participated in.
Oh...
And Lisamarlene, it sounds like a really good opportunity. I'm sure you already would do this, but sit Hermione (and your side of the family) down and talk things over. I'm sure you guys and gals will find a solution that everyone can live with.
Orthos |
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gran rey de los mono wrote:"Read" and "lead" rhyme with each other. Also "lead" and "read" rhyme. But "read" does NOT rhyme with "lead".How does that even work?
"Read" [reed] as in "to read a book" rhymes with "lead" [leed] as in "to lead a team to victory".
"Read" [red] as in "I already read that" rhymes with "lead" [led] as in "lead is a poisonous metal".
"Read" in case one [reed], therefore, does not rhyme with "lead" in case two [led]. Nor does "read" in case two [red] rhyme with "lead" in case one [leed].
lisamarlene |
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So, even though it's a holiday weekend and I waited until the very last damned minute to try to plan, and even though we started out at number eighteen on the damned waiting list, today we finally got confirmation that we do, in fact, have a reservation at a campground up in gold country for Hermione's birthday weekend. we're driving up on Saturday after ballet class, camping all weekend, and on Monday (her birthday) we'll go down into the California Caverns and do the cave tour before driving back home for cake.
Which means I have to make sure the cake is done before we leave on Saturday. But that's not bad.
Just a Mort |
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Just a Mort wrote:gran rey de los mono wrote:"Read" and "lead" rhyme with each other. Also "lead" and "read" rhyme. But "read" does NOT rhyme with "lead".How does that even work?"Read" [reed] as in "to read a book" rhymes with "lead" [leed] as in "to lead a team to victory".
"Read" [red] as in "I already read that" rhymes with "lead" [led] as in "lead is a poisonous metal".
"Read" in case one [reed], therefore, does not rhyme with "lead" in case two [led]. Nor does "read" in case two [red] rhyme with "lead" in case one [leed].
Ohhhh! I get it now. English is such an idiosyncratic language!
Just a Mort |
Oh I missed so much...
First of, happy you had a nice trip kitty!
*Picks up Mort and fluffs her*
And what this? Feels like there's a bit more junk in Kitty's trunk ^^
You don't have a corkscrew?!*Notes down a corkscrew for an eventual "If I ever get to it" package-o'-goodies for Mort kitty*
@NH.
You're a braver man the I.
Knowing what I was like in the 15-18 age bracket, I'm not sure I would trust myself with an empty house.
Sampling the liquor cabinet, watching porn and "sexual exploration"*
where pretty standart fare at most "home-alone with friends" scenarios back then. Though we didn't do any stealing and where never really into all the "breaking s++*"Edit: Meh, the above sounds a bit too alarmist. I don't think we were all that bad. It's just that teens, tend to da as teens does. Testing limits and exploring themselves and each other.
* From make-out sessions to mutual/group masturbation to outright copulation. Or at least you would if you were socially adapt enough enough to be invited (I was a border case, cause I was "Funny"), so I saw more f+~@ing, then I participated in.
Oh...
And Lisamarlene, it sounds like a really good opportunity. I'm sure you already would do this, but sit Hermione (and your side of the family) down and talk things over. I'm sure you guys and gals will find a solution that everyone can live with.
*purrs at Kjeldorn* Thanks!
I will probably bum off a corkscrew off the Italian side of the family. They should have one, right? My brother told me to watch out for low quality corks.
15-18: Leaving me alone at home with an unlocked liquor cabinet - perfectly safe. I did not start drinking till I started working, which is after 20. At 15 I'd be busy mugging for cambridge O levels, and from 16-18 I'd be mugging for cambridge A levels.
So nothing would happen.
And I'd get horribly embarrassed at the idea of masturbation. Maybe it's a guy thing?
And watching porn: Simply out of the question.
I even skip all the foreplay scenes as well as the actual scene itself in all the story books I read.