Ben Affleck, mallard at large's page

18 posts. Alias of Ambrosia Slaad.


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Matt Daemon wrote:
Ben Affleck, mallard at large wrote:
I blame Matt Daemon.
It wasn't me, I was writing the reboot of Gigli.

Gigli was a misunderstood masterpiece, you vicious hack.

Get thee back into the tempest and that late night’s Fallon whore!
Leave no Bourne plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! — return to that Martian shore!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take them apples from off my door!
Quoth the Kimmel “I still like Affleck more.”

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Sparrow Jailbird wrote:
Scintillae wrote:
Woran wrote:
Vanykrye wrote:
Woran wrote:
In case anyone wants a laugh, my city arrested a bird
I love that they edited in the redaction of the bird's face.
Wow, a literal jailbird.

I blame Matt Daemon.

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gran rey de los mono wrote:
In a way, it's an honor to be stung by a bee. They hate you so much that they are willing to die just to cause you a mild amount of pain.

This could also arguably apply to all the idiot drivers willing to kill themselves, both accidentally and seemingly deliberately, while trying to inconvenience/irritate you in traffic.

gran rey de los mono wrote:
If Stan Lee were to pass away while the MCU was still a thing, they should totally have Deadpool take over doing the cameos.

Or Matt Damon. Two, two cameos so far! AH-AH-AH-AH! {cue cheap thunder & lightning effects}

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Owen K. C. Stephens wrote:
Imagine if we had put fetchlings and tengu in the Pathfinder Core Rulebook.

I'll instead imagine an all-tengu crew (T-Force?) in a Gatchaman Phoenix ship in Starfinder.

Krump's Krooked Krew only casts the other Grease. Casting Ruddy Ghouliani as Rizzo really ruins it.

Edit: If someone wants to make an undead "Ruddy Ghouliani" parody alias, you're welcome to it.

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captain yesterday wrote:
I used to think i had great success corrupting ducks, but it turns out they're a&~+$$*s naturally. :-)

{whispers:} Matt Damon is actually a goose with really good plastic surgery.

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King Yesterday of Pillowpia wrote:
NobodysHome wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:

Oh, I don't open my mail.

Too many bills. :-)

It's the male ducks. They're after you...

Puts fake lipstick covered duck Bill on vacuum cleaner, hooks it up to outlet on a motion sensor, puts it in front of the main gate to the Pillow Fort.

Oh I'll be ready, those a&%$&%*s aren't making it past my countermeasures.

I'm surprised more male ducks aren't sommeliers.

{waggles nonexistent eyebrows at vacuum} Hello Ms. Dyson, with the proper-amount-of-suction... How you doin'?

"THE" Poog of Zarongel wrote:


(Jumps onto and shanks the duck/seagul)


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Tangent101 wrote:
The sad thing is these same people would be complaining if various NPCs were named John or Bob or Jane. You know, easily-pronounced names.

So... Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure ends in a shocking twist when they are chunky-salsa'ed by a pack of adventuring murderhobos?

Or is this more a Sam and Ralph set up?

bugleyman wrote:
...There is nothing "sad" here. This is not SERIOUS BUSINESS(tm).

Speak for yourself: This. is. sewious.

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I haven't seen the movie, but I did enjoy this Batffleck video.

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zergtitan wrote:

*looks at Vizier picture*

It's Jafar!

Where's the parrot?

Jafar is the crimefightin' costumed supermurderhobo identity... of Iago, the mild-mannered wise-crackering parrot.

DungeonmasterCal wrote:
Hama wrote:
What I hate is when a player insists about playing a beastly race, I warn him/her that the character would be singled out and subjected to bigotry. And they say ok. And then they get angry when they get singled out and subjected to bigotry.
I know exactly how you feel. But like I'd said earlier, this guy changes characters so often your head will spin. He emailed me earlier to tell me that he'd rolled up the Tengu then decided to scrap it in favor of a Dwarven Inquisitor after we'd come up with a good backstory and everything! AAAGGGHHH!!!!

Maybe the PC can be a dwarf that channels a tengu? (possible 2014 movie spoilers)

Ah, another KC-related thread... for me to poop on!

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Sharoth wrote:
Actually, the fracking does not do as much damage as putting the waste water BACK in the ground and causing all of those old faults to lubricated and slide easier, thus causing earthquakes.

{uses Crane Style to deflect possible political discussion, saving everyone from flaming bikes} Aww jiss, baby. Lube your cracks, gonna slip & slide against each other, then we'll feel the earth shake. Gonna frack you good and slow.

Edit: Nekkid innuendo?

Edit 2: Nekkid inyourendo?

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