Deep 6 FaWtL

[Nekkid Vidmaster7]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

Last week was a bad week for me. I got fired and my wife asked for a divorce. Why?

My birthday was on Thursday, and my wife didn't say anything about it. My kids seemed to have forgotten. At the office, no-one said anything to me or gave me a card or anything. Then, at the end of the day, my beautiful secretary came up to me and said "Happy Birthday, gran rey! Let me take you to dinner to celebrate." I agreed, and on the way out she asked if I could drive her to her apartment real quick. I said sure. When we got to her place, she asked me to wait in her living room while she went to get something special from her bedroom. I quickly agreed. Five minutes later, she came out of her bedroom. So did my wife, kids, boss, and about 20 co-workers carrying a cake and singing "Happy Birthday". It was certainly a surprise for us all. They found me lying on the sofa naked.

The naked man May work 2 out of 3 times but certainly not every time.

Edit: wow that was perfect.

[gran rey de los mono]

You're welcome.

[gran rey de los mono]

Three doctors are out goose hunting. A gaggle flies overhead, and the oncologist raises his gun to fire, but stops and says "I should do an MRI to make sure those are really geese first." Another gaggle flies by, and this time the endocrinologist takes aim, but then lowers his gun and says "I should draw some blood and run an A1C to make sure that those are actually geese first." A third gaggle soars past, and the third doctor, a trauma surgeon, whips up his gun and starts firing round after round at them. He then turns to his fellow doctors and asks "Say, what are we hunting for anyways?"

[Just a Mort]

Dummies and dragons is cool =)

[gran rey de los mono]

My neighbor Bob is in trouble. He forgot his anniversary, and his wife was MAD. She told him "Tomorrow morning I expect a gift to be waiting in the driveway, and it better be able to go from 0 to 200 in under 6 seconds!" The next morning, he got up early and went to work. When his wife woke up, she looked out at the driveway and saw a small gift-wrapped box sitting there. Confused, she went out and opened it up. Inside was the bathroom scale. Bob hasn't been allowed home for two weeks so far.

[gran rey de los mono]

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, they couldn't contain themselves, and left work early to go to her house for some afternoon delight. Exhausted, they fell asleep until 8:00. As the man hurriedly put his clothes on, he asked the secretary to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass. Confused, she complies, and the man finishes dressing, puts on the shoes and drives home. When he gets home, his wife angrily demands "Where the f&+% have you been?" The man says "I won't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary, we fell asleep, and just woke up a few minutes ago." His wife looks him up and down, notices the grass stains on his shoes and says "You liar! You've been playing golf with your friends again!"

[Vidmaster7]

You have questionable friends and neighbors gran.

[gran rey de los mono]

Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?"
Brunette: " 'I don't know'."
Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!"

[Vidmaster7]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?"

Brunette: " 'I don't know'."
Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!"

Had a dude wheres my car moment.

[gran rey de los mono]

A blind guy is sitting on a bar stool. He calls out "Hey, bartender, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The man next to him leans over and says "Hey, buddy. I think you should know that the bartender in blonde. The bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200lb, blonde black belt. The guy on your other side is a 6'5", 285lb, blonde rugby player. And in the corner is a blonde college wrestling champ. So, do you really want to tell your blonde joke?" The blind man thinks for a moment and says "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it 5 times."

[gran rey de los mono]

What did the blonde say when she saw the box of Cheerios? OMG, doughnut seeds!

[gran rey de los mono]

A husband and wife were driving through Louisiana, approaching Natchitoches. They began arguing over how to pronounce the town's name. They stopped in Natchitoches for lunch at a fast food place, and asked the blonde behind the counter "Could you please slowly pronounce the name of where we are?" The blonde leaned over the counter and said "Burrrr-gerrrr Kinnnnggg."

[gran rey de los mono]

Three blondes walk into a building. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

[gran rey de los mono]

Why did the blonde put her iPhone in the blender? She wanted to make Apple juice.

[gran rey de los mono]

A blonde is watching the news when the reporter says "Today, six Brazilian men died in a skydiving accident." She started crying uncontrollably. Her husband tried to console her, saying "It's terrible, but there's always a risk when skydiving." The blonde looks up at him with tear-filled eyes and sobs "How many is a Brazilian?"

[gran rey de los mono]

Tired of the constant jokes, a blonde dyes her hair brown and takes a drive in the country. There she sees a man with a flock of sheep. She pulls over and asks the man "If I guess how many sheep are there, can I have one?" The shepherd is puzzled, but agrees. The woman says "352!" Stunned that she got the right answer, the shepherd lets her take a sheep. She picks one up and says "This is the cutest one, I'll take it!" The shepherd looks at her and says "Hey, lady. If I guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?"

[gran rey de los mono]

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. They come across a barn full of old potato sacks, and hide underneath them. The officer chasing them enters the barn and sees some motion in the sacks. He kicks at one source of motion, and the brunette goes "Woof, woof". Thinking that must be a dog, the cop kicks at the second moving area. The redhead goes "Meow!" Believing it to be a cat, the cop prods the third moving pile. The blonde, following her friends' lead, calls out "Potato potato!"

[gran rey de los disclaimer]

I would say no offense to blondes, but what are the odds that they would know they're being insulted?

[Vidmaster7]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. They come across a barn full of old potato sacks, and hide underneath them. The officer chasing them enters the barn and sees some motion in the sacks. He kicks at one source of motion, and the brunette goes "Woof, woof". Thinking that must be a dog, the cop kicks at the second moving area. The redhead goes "Meow!" Believing it to be a cat, the cop prods the third moving pile. The blonde, following her friends' lead, calls out "Potato potato!"

Cop must be blonde too.

[Hypnotato]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. They come across a barn full of old potato sacks, and hide underneath them. The officer chasing them enters the barn and sees some motion in the sacks. He kicks at one source of motion, and the brunette goes "Woof, woof". Thinking that must be a dog, the cop kicks at the second moving area. The redhead goes "Meow!" Believing it to be a cat, the cop prods the third moving pile. The blonde, following her friends' lead, calls out "Potato potato!"

You have summoned me, and I have come.

[gran rey de los dragons]

All hail the Hypnotato!

Hmm, kinda hungry.

I wonder how baked Hypnotato tastes. With butter, cheese, and bacon of course.

Let's find out.

*lunges for the Hypnotato*

[gran rey de los mono]

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde woman from Alabama walks up and bets $20,000 on a single roll of the dice. She says "I hope ya'll don't mind, but I feel muck luckier when I play topless", and immediately strips to the waist. She grabs the dice, jiggles a bit while saying "Southern girl needs new clothes! Come on now!" and rolls the dice. As the dice stop she squeals in joy saying "I WON! I WON!", bouncing up and down, hugs both of the dealers, collects her winnings, and runs out of the casino. The dealers are left staring at each dumbfounded. Eventually one of them asks the other "So, what did she roll?" The second one says "I don't know, I thought you were watching."

[gran rey de los mono]

A blonde, a fat brunette, and a skinny redhead find a mirror with a sign that reads "This is a magic mirror. If you look into it and say the truth, you will be granted a wish. If you lie, you will die instantly." The redhead looks in the mirror and says "I think I look fat", and dies instantly. The brunette looks in the mirror and says "I think I look skinny," and dies instantly. The blonde looks in the mirror and says "I think," and dies instantly.

[gran rey de los mono]

What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.

[gran rey de los mono]

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work in the same office for a female boss. The boss leaves early everyday. One day, the brunette says "Hey girls, tomorrow when the boss leaves, let's also leave. She'll never know, especially if it's just the one day." The others agree. So, the next day, right after their boss leaves, the three of them leave. The brunette goes home and does some gardening. The redhead goes to a bar to meet some friends. The blonde goes home, and finds her husband having sex with her boss! She sneaks away, and goes to the movies instead. The next day, the redhead says "That was a lot of fun yesterday, we should leave early again today." The blonde says "Oh, no! I almost got caught yesterday."

[gran rey de los mono]

Three blondes were walking in the woods when they came upon some tracks. The first said "Look, deer tracks!" The second said "No, those are wolf tracks!" Before the third blonde could say anything, the three of them got hit by the train.

[gran rey de los mono]

A blonde goes to a shoe store and tries on a pair of shoes. She says they feel a bit tight, so the clerk suggests she try pulling the tongue out more. The blonde does, and then says "Nath, theyth thtill feelth a bith thighth."

[gran rey de los mono]

A police officer sees a blonde woman driving and knitting at the same time. He tries using the lights and siren to get her to stop, but she seems oblivious. Finally, he pulls up next to her and shouts at her "PULL OVER!!" The blonde looks at him and shouts back "NO, IT'S A SCARF!"

[Tasha the half-kender]

I love blonde jokes!
I really like playing the silly blonde with people... until the joke is on them!

[Punniculus]

I don't suppose you have an alias that could use this outfit, do you? It's kinda creepy, but fun.

[gran rey de los mono]

And...work time. Later.

[Vidmaster7]

Punniculus wrote:

I don't suppose you have an alias that could use this outfit, do you? It's kinda creepy, but fun.

"You've got to be kidding me."

That which doesn't kill you... makes you stronger."

[Freehold DM]

lynora wrote:

Happy 4th! :)

I'm spending mine at home by myself while the kidlet and his dad are going to a barbecue and to set off fireworks. Because I got hurt at the lake on Sunday (It involved a vicious attack floaty shaped like a giant duck). And then last night when we went to see the DSO concert/fireworks display I got hit on the head pretty hard. I was putting the cooler in the trunk and the trunk lid fell on my head. Got me right on the forehead. Luckily it didn't break the skin, but boy oh boy do I have a headache. Proving yet again that there is no situation I can't make worse. ;P

It's all good though. I'm having an introvert party all by myself. The best kind of party! :D

I'm sorry, lynora... warm hugs

[Freehold DM]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

Just, you know, maybe not too much detail. I don't think we need to know color, consistency, and composition of various excretions.

But, yes, get the young one healthy so that she may continue on her quest to drive you insane.

that is how my family does it...

[Freehold DM]

Vidmaster7 wrote:

One thread is enough.

no it isn't.

[Vidmaster7]

Freehold DM wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

One thread is enough.

no it isn't.

I meant for the ponies.

[The Game Hamster]

Vidmaster7 wrote:

Freehold DM wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

One thread is enough.

no it isn't.

I meant for the ponies.

I think he knows.

[Vidmaster7]

The Game Hamster wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

Freehold DM wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

One thread is enough.

no it isn't.

I meant for the ponies.

I think he knows.

That makes me sad.

[The Game Hamster]

Vidmaster7 wrote:

The Game Hamster wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

Freehold DM wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

One thread is enough.

no it isn't.

I meant for the ponies.

I think he knows.

That makes me sad.

Does it? Interesting, tell us more.

Remember to be honest. Its for posterity.

[Vidmaster7]

The Game Hamster wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

The Game Hamster wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

Freehold DM wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

One thread is enough.

no it isn't.

I meant for the ponies.

I think he knows.

That makes me sad.

Does it? Interesting, tell us more.

Remember to be honest. Its for posterity.

What did posterity ever do for me?

[Freehold DM]

John Napier 698 wrote:

Don't look at me, Gran Rey's the one with the prolific sense of humor. Unless someone can make Freehold go on an extended anti-math rant for about 20 pages or so.

math is indeed awful.

[Freehold DM]

gran rey de los stereo wrote:

Perhaps we can get him to make several hundreds posts on the topic of Y-Wings?

y wings are indeed wonderful.

[Freehold DM]

gran rey de los surround sound wrote:

Or My Little Pony?

I am slowly catching up on the current season.

[The Game Hamster]

Vidmaster7 wrote:

The Game Hamster wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

The Game Hamster wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

Freehold DM wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

One thread is enough.

no it isn't.

I meant for the ponies.

I think he knows.

That makes me sad.

Does it? Interesting, tell us more.

Remember to be honest. Its for posterity.

What did posterity ever do for me?

This is great stuff, keep going.

[Vidmaster7]

The Game Hamster wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

The Game Hamster wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

The Game Hamster wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

Freehold DM wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

One thread is enough.

no it isn't.

I meant for the ponies.

I think he knows.

That makes me sad.

Does it? Interesting, tell us more.

Remember to be honest. Its for posterity.

What did posterity ever do for me?

This is great stuff, keep going.

But which one of us will end up naked?

[Kileanna]

Vidmaster7 wrote:

The Game Hamster wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

The Game Hamster wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

The Game Hamster wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

Freehold DM wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

One thread is enough.

no it isn't.

I meant for the ponies.

I think he knows.

That makes me sad.

Does it? Interesting, tell us more.

Remember to be honest. Its for posterity.

What did posterity ever do for me?

This is great stuff, keep going.

But which one of us will end up naked?

Me or one of my aliases, as always.

[The Game Hamster]

Vidmaster7 wrote:

The Game Hamster wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

The Game Hamster wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

The Game Hamster wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

Freehold DM wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

One thread is enough.

no it isn't.

I meant for the ponies.

I think he knows.

That makes me sad.

Does it? Interesting, tell us more.

Remember to be honest. Its for posterity.

What did posterity ever do for me?

This is great stuff, keep going.

But which one of us will end up naked?

I'm already nekkid so don't sweat it.

[Freehold DM]

gran rey de los everything wrote:

Or bubble tea?

actually, I want to enjoy the unholy combination of Thai ice tea with bubbles in it while watching buxom cosplayers dressed as my favorite characters belly dance/burlesque/gyrate to mlp music remixed for me while I get Yoshiuki Tomino-o-sensei's autograph on my mobile suit gundam novelization to achieve maximum happiness.

[Vidmaster7]

The Game Hamster wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

The Game Hamster wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

The Game Hamster wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

The Game Hamster wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

Freehold DM wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

One thread is enough.

no it isn't.

I meant for the ponies.

I think he knows.

That makes me sad.

Does it? Interesting, tell us more.

Remember to be honest. Its for posterity.

What did posterity ever do for me?

This is great stuff, keep going.

But which one of us will end up naked?

I'm already nekkid so don't sweat it.

Well i know who is getting my vote.

[Freehold DM]

gran rey de los dragons wrote:

Or burlesque?

see above.

That said, if any female fawtls decided to burlesque, they would not need to cosplay.