Last one to post wins

[Vidferatu]

From the right perspective a lot of people deserve it... Blah....

[The Nasty Orc]

Did someone say eating?

[Dr. Albert W. Wily]

What happened to you? Did you spend too much time climbing trees?

[Vidmaster7]

Wiley I feel like your look is missing a giant mustache.

[Schism]

Give him some of yours. You have plenty to spare.

[Dr. Albert W. Wily]

Thank you, Schism, I admire those with wit. And Vidmaster7, I did explain that this is an EARLIER version of me when I started getting old and before I had a moustache and started wearing contact lenses.

[Waterhammer]

Mustache just migrated around to the back of his head.

[Pulg]

Happens to the best of us. Not like you'd notice on me, or Vidders.

[Waterhammer]

Fishstache!

[Vidmaster7]

I may have a collection but pulg is the collection.

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

And apparently, or so I was told by your sister on your left most beard hair's side, you sold him as part of your new year's resolution.

[Schism]

I resolve to be crazier in the coming year.

[Dr. Albert W. Wily]

No offence, but just how exactly can YOU of all people be crazier in the new year?

[Schism]

I feel a new personality coming to the surface.

[Vampire Schism]

What she said.

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

Umm, we've already met Vampire Schism. You said a NEW personality.

[Dr. Albert W. Wily]

Lets help her out.
Here's some choices:
1. Jurassic Schism
2. Chicken Schism
3. Werewolf Schism
4. FrankenSchism
5. Ice Schism
6. Yogg Schism
7. Mama Schism
8. UniSchism

[Pulg]

What about Schasm, Schism's big sibling?

[Schism]

She is coming!

*Screams in agony

[Schism Hag]

*which turns into a cackle

Hee Hee Hee!

I have arrived.
The world will never be the same.

[Schism Hag]

I must thank you Count Heydrich.
If not for that bite you gave me, I may have languished in my own subconsciousness forever.

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

Uh, you're welcome... I guess.

*Wonders just HOW a derro can become a blood hag through a vampire bite.*

It's going to be a very crazy year.

*Sees Schism Hag start eating Nosferatu Fester Addams and Comte de Malodor, who start joyfully squealing like a couple of schoolgirls.*

You two are just terrible, stop looking so happy, getting eaten is NOT a fun experience!

[Comte de Malodor]

Teeheeheehee! Oh, stoppit! EEEheeheeheehee!

Well, that depends, doesn't it? Ooohoohoohohoo! Hee!

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

*Punches Comte de Malodor in the face with so much force that, he goes unconscious and I completely fracture my right hand.*

OUCH! THAT REALLY HURTS!

*While clutching my broken wrist, I apologise to Comte de Malodor's family for injuring him.*

[high G]

Peanut butter!

[Vidmaster7]

Jelly time!

[Lady Blackmoor]

Mummy, he's still alive.

[Dowager Comtesse de Malodor]

Yes, dear, I can see. Hopefully Marquis G. and the Baron of Vidmaster are going to choke him with the peanut butter and jelly before he regains consciousness.

[Lashcastrakaa the Man-Flayer]

WHHHOOO DOES PUNCH MY HHHUSBANT?!

[Lady Blackmoor]

o s+@%

[high G]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FpcL-fQNPfQ

[Vidmaster7]

Sillys of course i'm alive. <immortal without being undead>

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

A god to ants, that's what you are Vidmaster7.

*Shows broken hand to Lashcastrakaa.*

I'm the idiot who punched him, and got badly hurt because of it.

[high G]

Did you know some ant colonies wage war with other ant colonies on an inter-continental scale? It is happening this, very, moment!

god to ants is a heavy mantle to bear..

[Vidmaster7]

Little buggers will soon grow beards.

[high G]

Hi, I'm Poppy.

[Vidmaster7]

Not low poppy?

[high G]

Chapter 1: Winning Strategems

[Pulg]

Bold words for a man WITH COAL IN HIS EARS!!!!!

[high G]

We don't know anything for sure except that the official story is false

[Schism Hag]

Count Reiner Heydrich wrote:

*Wonders just HOW a derro can become a blood hag through a vampire bite.*

You have no problem with a vampire whose hair is bleached white, but have a problem with mine?

Count Reiner Heydrich wrote:

It's going to be a very crazy year.

You have now idea how right you are.

Hee Hee Hee

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

I never said I had a problem with your hair, it's rather nice actually, I just found it unusual that a vampire bite could turn a derro into a hag.

[Nosferatu Fester Addams]

*Looks at Schism Hag.*

Why did you stop eating me? I was rather enjoying it.

*Upon hearing this, Count Reiner Heydritch is violently ill.*

[high G]

Speaking of rabbit holes, if you google for "magic users FORTRAN" and browse through Images, you will see a world untold.

[Schism Hag]

Count Reiner Heydrich wrote:

I never said I had a problem with your hair, it's rather nice actually, I just found it unusual that a vampire bite could turn a derro into a hag.

You didn't transform me silly vampire, you released me.

My appearance is my own doing.

[Pulg]

Your own doing, or that of GoatToucher Miracle Silk Crème de Visage?

[high G]

1.1 Cross the sea without the emperor's knowledge

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

*Stops vomiting for a moment and looks at Schism Hag.*

Oh, that makes sense. Makes me wonder the source of your personas.

*Feels a little bit better, so cleans mouth and throws away sick bucket.*

[Waterhammer]

How would you like your steak, Count Reiner Heydrich?

A completely innocent question. I don’t care what you thought you heard.

[high G]

1.2 Besiege Wei to rescue Zhao