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Sovereign Court

I think that Pulg's amazing Vampire Sousexflooderhoofington Band would disagree with you there.


They might, but the fangs get in the way of the reeds.


Gives both Pulg & Count Reiner Heydrich large buckets of water.

Sovereign Court

*Dumps the water over Comte de Malodor.*


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*Also dumps the water over Comte De Malodor*

Count, what do you think about sponsoring Pulg's Amazing Vampire Sousexflooderhoofington Band?


Damn it! I joined the Army to get out of having to bathe, and now THIS!!!

Sovereign Court

*@Comte de Malador*

Suck it up, buttercup! You have to wash regardless of where you are, or what you do!

*@Pulg*

Certainly, I'd be happy to! Perhaps you can sponsor my Blood Bowl teams?


Sure, sure. You'll have to take your payment in hair, though.


You want a rabbit? Well, hare it is!

Sovereign Court

I guess we don't need the likes of Jokey, his son (Chuck Les) or the bear for bad jokes.

My Blood Bowl teams don't require money, just a bit of publicity and recognition.

Sovereign Court

*Bites Comte de Malador, on his left shoulder, for no reason at all.*


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Agh, agh! There's fish drool all over my epaulettes!


Count Reiner Heydrich wrote:

I guess we don't need the likes of Jokey, his son (Chuck Les) or the bear for bad jokes.

My Blood Bowl teams don't require money, just a bit of publicity and recognition.

Well, then, give us some details and I will write and have performed for you a Reiner's Blood Bowl Team Cantata.

Sovereign Court

Excellent! Well, I own every kind of Blood Bowl team and Star Player, so you'll need to write a lot. Fortunately, I have already commissioned the construction of several fields and stadiums.

And I was also thinking about utilising billboard posters and the like (such as promotional products and materials), as well as you and your bands mentioning my teams in songs and, or interviews, posts, comments, etc/applying body paint to yourselves (no need to mention me though).


Ha! I knew it. Promoters are bloodsuckers.

Sovereign Court

Guilty as charged, I'm afraid. But what about you then, Waterhammer?


Can I try out for First Biter?

Sovereign Court

No, but you can be either a commentator or (more preferably) be a substitute for the ball.


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Luckily, I have exclusive rights to the works of Andrew Lloyd Webber on the territory of Mt. Crumpet, so here goes. The tune, Luigi, is the theme to 'Jesus Christ Superstar'


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REINER VON, HEYDREEECH,
HAS A SUPERLATEEVE BLOOD BOWL TEAM!


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*Sits cross legged on the ground. Pounds out a beat with a spoon on an empty coffee can.*

Sovereign Court

*Starts chanting and doing a variation of the New Zealand hacker.*


I'll be the commentator.

Sovereign Court

*Grabs Vampire Schism and runs with her to the end zone.*


*Flies out of Reiner's Blood Bowl Team's hand in anto opposing team's end zone.


:indulges in sybaritic luxury in his VIP box, paying no attention to the game:

Sovereign Court

*From the commentator's box.*

And my daughter has just scored a point for the Reikland Reavers!

*Coughs authoritatively.*

Unaware that they are also one of my Blood Bowl teams.

*Straightens papers.*

But it looks like the Gouged Eye are going for a touchdown!

*Looks over to GoatToucher in his VIP box.*

If only our 2nd chief sponsor would like to watch the game!


I think he'll perk up when it comes to the display of traditional Dark Elf tortures during half time, especially if provided with a hot pie and a mug of Bovril.

Sovereign Court

And that's a very good point from our 3rd chief sponsor!

*Looks down at the pitch, gets really excited.*

The Gouged Eye are ready to make the touchdown, Vampire Schism is in place...

*Everyone in the stands are trembling with anticipation for the play.*

It's got to be on point, or else the Reikland Reavers will win the match!

Sovereign Court

*Vampire Schism is placed on the pitch, facing the goal.*

*One of the Blitzers lines up the shot, runs and boots Vampire Schism to the end zone.*

*The goal is scored as Vampire Schism goes through the goal and crashes to the ground.*


I'm impressed that Reiner managed to get Bovril to sponsor the match.


He had me doing the negotiations and I wouldn't take "No" for an answer.

Sovereign Court

That's right, I always send the best to get me what I want!

Now daughter, I think you can be a commentator, once you have a wash!


Thanks, the blood was getting really sticky and the grass wouldn't come off.

Sovereign Court

*Heads into the showers, dragging Vampire Schism with them.*

*Once everyone is cleaned up, even those who weren't dirty, heads back out to the pitch.*


halloschismhallocounthallonurglemymumhasgluedsomespikestomymutantninjaturtl eoutfitandgivenmeamarkofchaoscaniplaytoo?

Sovereign Court

*Takes seat in the commentator's box.*

And we're back, ladies and gentlemen, to another exciting match of Blood Bowl!

*Views the pitch, gets the crowd into a frenzy.*

It seems that Nurgle's Rotters have a new member.

*Out comes the second team.*

Will Little Trevor have the skills to beat The Fire Mountain Gut-Busters?!

*Little Trevor is horrified to learn that the other team consists of ogres (and goblins for linemen).*

Something tells me that the poor guy doesn't know what he's gotten himself into.

*Everyone is disappointed when, as soon as the game starts, Little Trevor is trampled to death.*

Clearly, folks, Grandfather Nurgle did not give his blessing to that one!

*From that point on, the game continues, unhindered.*

Nurgle's Rotters or The Fire Mountain Gut-Busters? Who's going to win!?


Common taters.

Had some Tayto brand crisps when I was in Ireland awhile back. Nummy.

Sovereign Court

Starts shouting "Huzzah, Huzzah! We are, the Dukes of HUZZAH-RD!"


Stop bellowing and go and scrape up Little Trevor.

Sovereign Court

*Someone in the crowd shouts: "get that hairy football!"*

*All of the Blood Bowl teams promptly start going after Pulg.*

*The Dukes of HUZZAH-RD keep on bellowing in the stands.*

*Little Trevor is trampled even further into mush.*


*Caught up by a Gentle Breeze, floats several hundred feet above the stadium, watching proceedings with an expression of stern disapproval*

Disgraceful.

Sovereign Court

Joins Pulg, floating in the sky. “It’s a fine thing to hover, no?”

Sovereign Court

*From the commentator's box.*

And someone needs to inform Pulg about the rules of Blood Bowl. Daughter, if you please.

Sovereign Court

*Massive pile of bodies build up into several pyramids on the pitch as each team tries to get the ball. Or, failing that, Pulg/The when/something else that looks like a rugby ball.*

Sovereign Court

*Dumps a truckload of potatoes into the commentator’s box.*

“Ah, symmetry.”


Il pleut les pommes de terre, Alleluia.

Sovereign Court

*Has the Dukes of HUZZAH-RD clear the commentator's box of potatoes.*

I'm not even going to ask how The when managed to dump a truckload of potatoes without any hands!

*Spies Uncle Honore out on the pitch, disgruntled by the removal of the potatoes.*

What have we here, ladies and gentlemen? A new member for one of the Undead teams perhaps?


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Count Reiner Heydrich wrote:

*From the commentator's box.*

And someone needs to inform Pulg about the rules of Blood Bowl. Daughter, if you please.

Blood Bowl is similar to Rugby, but the violence is upped to 11.

The goal isn't just to get the ball over the goal line, but a team gets extra points for how many pints of the opposing team's blood blood is left on the field.
Since one is not allowed to drink blood, only vampires with the strongest willpower can play.


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Vampire Schism wrote:
Count Reiner Heydrich wrote:

*From the commentator's box.*

And someone needs to inform Pulg about the rules of Blood Bowl. Daughter, if you please.

Blood Bowl is similar to Rugby, but the violence is upped to 11.

So just rugby, then.

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