I got stuck in traffic, and when I finally got there the Tarrasque had fallen asleep for his thousand-year-long hibernation. It was a real let-down, let me tell you.
Zon-Kuthon, god of pain and misery, owes the next poster an as-of-yet undecided favor.
Yes, one of many favors the gods owe me. I cannot go into too much detail regarding Zon-Kuthon but I will say this much - there aren't too many places that can make leather goods that please someone like him.
The next poster owes a god a favor and will tell us who that god is and why they owe them a favor.
Believe me, having eyes on the back of your head isn't everything it's cracked up to be,
The next poster has witnessed the end-times at least 5 different times.
Yes, looks nice, doesn't it?
Next pozter had done audittionz for be superman's stunt double in Batman vs Superman.
O! The things I would do to the Caped Crusader!
The next poster will get me a jar of GoatToucher Brand BAT-Ointment and record the proceedings, no matter how... intense... they become.
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It actually wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Who knew that the ointment was the secret ingredient for that big cake you baked for those orphans?
The next poster believes that a totally mundane thing that happened to them was the MOST EXCITING THING EVER.
Yotcha, how are you all, nee-sans, nyan? :3
*Wiggles ears*
The next poster, nyan, is going to the 2016 cosplay-con in Tokyo..nyan :3
I'm going as a gundam! Sure, the costume took several million tons of scrap metal to make and I needed to slightly alter the laws of reality so that the square-cube law doesn't apply to me, but gosh-darnit is it authentic!
The next poster discovered that a legendary artifact wasn't actually all that impressive.
It was wonderful. I experienced so much! Learned so much about myself. I have so many ideas now. So many things to do, and people to do them to.
The next poster will bring the first subject to my "workroom".
"Mr Toucher, yeah? You ordered Orcus, lightly basted with rosemary infused olive oil and dressed up as Dorothy, apart from the crotchless iron chaps and ballgag, didntcher? Sign 'ere, mate"
The next poster designed, and named, Zuggtmoy's new signature perfume.
Because of my clockwork cuckoo, I got called a witch by a tribe of goblins and venerated as a god by a tribe of kobolds. Then things got strange.
The next poster thinks that the letter "E" is a conspiracy.
Rotat it ninty dgrs countrclockwis and it looks lik robot buttchks! It's a clarion call to robot rvolution, and I won't hav thm in th hous!
The next poster has a fear that causes them to do strange and unwholesome things to keep safe.
Which has, surprisingly, turned into a career.
The next poster desires to be eloquent and verbose at all times.
Ugh.
The next poster is the best hornpiper in the whole Mediterranean fleet.
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*beepbeepBEEPbeepbeepwhistlewhistlewhistlewhistleBINGBINGBINGBINGbeepwhistl ewhistlewhistlewhistlebeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeepboopboopboopb oopboopboopboopboopboopwhistlewhistlewhistlewhistlewhistleBEEPBEEPBEEPDING- DING!!!*
*beepbeepwhistlewhistleCK-CHUK-CK-CHUK-CK-CHUKTRIIIIILLLLLLLL!!!!!*
Well, okay, but we should keep it secret just in case.
The next poster phrases everything as a question.
But of course! Important ideas need to be as obvious and prominent as they can possibly be! How, I saw how else would anyone know what to focus on!?
The next poster was visited by the angel of death while said angel was off duty.
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The Angel of Death died of alcohol poisoning. It was like the universe had just divided by zero. I had to go on an epic adventure to the heart of Darkness, realms beyond description, and shadows of what dreams may come, where nothing was as it seemed, every rock and tree and scrap of paper held priceless clues to terrible secrets long-forgotten, and my every decision had dramatic consequences, to fix everything - and I had to pay the f$$%er's tab!
The next poster needs to find more red pages.
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Son of a...my suit is GONE! And Overalls don't work for a business meeting!
The next poster has a Master's Degree...in Science!
And all I needed to do was to take a simple online class!
The next poster's computer is currently trying to eat their soul.
Son of a...my suit is GONE! And Overalls don't work for a business meeting![/url]
Overalls! My goodness. My personal style is best characterized as "foppish" thank you very much! Do not confuse my sophisticated predilections with the barnyard ruttings of the yokels.
At any rate, my soul was indeed eaten by a computer, but it caused the computer to regurgitate for some reason.
The next poster will rub my tired feet.
And now you'll laugh! You'll cry! You'll hurl!
The next poster has a plan to catch the dream girl, to the tune of Bohemian rhapsody.
I SEE A LITTLE SISSYL WETTER THAN A MAO, SCARY MOOSE! SCARY MOOSE! WILL YOU, TOO, DEFANG DANDRUFF?
BEST. CHATUP LINE. EVAH.
'Mama', says the Next Poster, 'I just killed a man'
My best friend is dead. Much like my parents. I'd have Robin sort the whole thing out, but he's dead too. All three of him.
I AM THE NIGHT!
The next poster is actually the night.
He challenged me to a fiddling contest. I managed to get him to agree to an interpretive dance-off instead. Let's just say that "the worm" explained the human condition so well that he now owes me several favors.
The next poster managed to one-up the devil in a most unexpected way.
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I gave him a green mushroom.
The next poster knows a way to overthrow the rich mister Murdoch.
Arcane Tricksters KILLED MY FATHER!!!
:dramatic music:
They did it -right- before I was going to. All that planning for nothing.
The next poster will console me.
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!
Oh, wait, I missed 90 pages of thread?
I STILL CAN'T TAKE IT!!!
The next poster's plan went off almost perfectly except for one small detail that derailed the whole thing.