Yet another public safety announcement from McMaster University in Hamilton, Ontario...Anti-Zombie safety message from the Royal Canadian Kilted Yaksmen
Six monthes after the attack on FGCU, University of Florida is now ready too.
Six monthes after the attack on FGCU, University of Florida is now ready too.
*chews on slaad brains*
*slurgle!*
*chews on slaad brains*
*slurgle!*
Ha HA! Mine had already been secretly replaced with circus peanuts and Folger's Crystals.
RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8
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Day 4 -- Mid-day
Zombies still out there. Trying to think about how to drive them off. I tried blaring the new TV sitcom Boring at them at full volume. In case you haven't seen it, it's about a bunch of office workers doing what office workers do all day.
Oddly, the zombies seemed to identify with several of the characters. Most of them sat down and started typing on imaginary computers. One was looking at imaginary porn.
I saw one of them trying to photocopy the neighbours cat using the car trunk as a copier. That was almost funny until the 'paper' jammed. Poor cat.
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RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8
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Day 4 -- Mid-day
Just ran out of milk. Not an emergency because I still have some Fat Free Cinnamon Vanilla Crème Liquid
Coffee Mate.
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RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8
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puts on a policeman's uniform and knocks on the door
Excuse me, sir. We've had complaints from your neighbors.....
Day 4 -- Evening
Man, there's a zombie at the door in a policeman's uniform. It looks like he's trying to say something but all I hear is "arrggh ... arr ... augggh ... arrraugghgggrrrr"
It's like there's some kind of primitive intelligence left in there.
This works every time!
<Puts a flaming bag of poop on Tarren Dei's porch and rings doorbell>
Oh, damn! I'm on fire now!
<Stops, drops, and rolls>
*leaves Tarren's refrigerator open*
*starts pouring Tarren's food onto the floor*
*turns off Tarren's circuit breaker*
Zombie cow!
Zombie
Cow!
Where are you goin'?
<Looks at avatar>
Tarren Dei, you're not a human. Everyone knows that zombies only go after humans. You're perfectly safe. Look, I'm completely surrounded by zombies, and they're not bothering me.
Then, taig, how do you explain this ...
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NE Large undead
Init -1; Senses Darkvision 60'; Perception +0
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AC 14, touch 9, flat-footed 14; (+5 natural, –1 size)
hp 18 (4d8)
Fort +1, Ref +0, Will +4
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Spd 20 ft.
Melee bite +5 (1d2 + disease); Slam +5 (1d6 + disease)
Space 5 ft.; Reach 5 ft.
Special Attacks death burst
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Str 14, Dex 8, Con —, Int —, Wis 10, Cha 10
Base Atk +3; CMB +6; CMD +15
Feats Toughness
Special Qualities staggered
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Environment any
Organization any
Treasure Value none
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Death Burst (Ex): When a plague zombie dies, it explodes in a burst of decay. All creatures adjacent to the plague zombie are exposed to its plague as if struck by a slam attack and must make a Fortitude save or contract zombie rot.
Disease (Su): The slam attack—as well as any other natural attacks—of a plague zombie carries the zombie rot disease. Zombie rot: slam; save Fort DC = 10 + 1/2 the zombie's Hit Dice + the zombie's Cha modifier; onset 1d4 days; frequency 1/day; effect 1d2 Con, this damage cannot be healed while the creature is infected; cure 2 consecutive saves. Anyone who dies while infected rises as a plague zombie in 2d6 hours.
Staggered (Ex): Zombies have poor reflexes and can only perform a single move action or standard action each round. A zombie can move up to its speed and attack in the same round as a charge action.
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Attempts one more shot with the Zombiepult™. Pulls lever. Zombiepult™ flips over and crushes andlich.
*Uses William Shakespear as a battering ram against the front door*
*Gurgle*
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RPG Superstar 2009 Top 8
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Maybe we should start playing the same song over and over. Something really depressing....
starts going through a collection of Alanis Morissette albums
Day 5 -- Almost noon
Saw a zombie spinning an Alanis Morissette "Jagged Little Pill" around on its finger and trying to use its nail as a stylus. ... Where the hell did they find a vinyl record? Ah well, ...
I will prepare Xuttah's gift for retaliation should the creature ever find a record player.
Maybe we should start playing the same song over and over. Something really depressing....
starts going through a collection of Alanis Morissette albums
*Takes out boombox and blares Kenny G, Yanni and John Tesh music*
*Yurgle!*
Pours some birdseed over a large "X" painted on the ground. Steps out of sight and waits.
Contributor, RPG Superstar 2012
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<Looks at avatar>
Tarren Dei, you're not a human. Everyone knows that zombies only go after humans. You're perfectly safe. Look, I'm completely surrounded by zombies, and they're not bothering me.
Then, taig, how do you explain this ...
** spoiler omitted **...
Government conspiracy! It's all stuff and nonsense.
<Holds boombox over head, playing "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel>
I saw this on a movie once...
Pours some birdseed over a large "X" painted on the ground. Steps out of sight and waits.Oh yummy Bird seed.
Beep Beep
Tries to drop piano on unsuspecting Crimson Jester. Instead, a boulder crushes andLich
*breaks coffee maker*
This ought to make sure he has to go out for it. Heh heh heh.
Day 5 -- Mid-afternoon.
I'm out of coffee. Time to get out of the house.
*hides in bushes ready to jump an unexpecting Tarren*
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Day 5 -- Late Afternoon
Been to the garage. No zombies there.
I've looked the 2010 Chevrolet Cobalt Sedan over. She's got gas and ready to go. Not the best vehicle for plowing through zombies with. I only bought it because of the kobold/Cobalt etymological connection. Dumb. I should have bought a Nissan Rogue.
Must be something in this garage I could use to make my ride more zombie-proof ...
*siphons all the gas out of Tarren's car*
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That's because Tim Hortons is viewed as expendable!
No, it's because we Canucks are fearless in the face of mortal foes. When you've face the limitless hordes of the living dead with nothing but a hockey stick and Hudson's Bay blanket, there's nothing in the Middle East that holds any terror for you.
Aren't you going to promote Callous Jack Brand coffee and donuts? What are the zombie slaying potentials for that brand? :)
Um, hey guys, he just drove away.
You've all got the reaction times of, well, zombies.
Um, hey guys, he just drove away.
You've all got the reaction times of, well, zombies.
And to think I wasted all that time putting huge flashing red lights on the car, too...
Huzzah! He escaped! My efforts were not entirely in vain! Praise be to Pelor!
Thanks to me and KC's cleaver!
Yippee!
*slash*slash*