Just sitting here, in my cube, running my TPS reports.

Did you get the memo?

Memo?

Sorry I was in a four hour meeting to discuss why production is down. Could you send it again?

I would but production is still down.

Was the memo about the meeting about production being down?

We need to improve morale, cut costs and increase production. Anyone have any ideas?

Oh, we also need to shorten turn around time.

We need to improve morale, cut costs and increase production. Anyone have any ideas?

We need to have meeting.

We need to improve morale, cut costs and increase production. Anyone have any ideas?

Shortening turn around time would cut costs and increase production but likely generate problems for morale.

Would you schedule a time to discuss the meeting?

Would you schedule a time to discuss the meeting?

Don't we need to have a meeting to do that?

CourtFool wrote:

Would you schedule a time to discuss the meeting?

Don't we need to have a meeting to do that?

No. You can talk about it on the conference call. The one about increasing production.

I won't be able to make that meeting, or the conference call. I'll be in a sidebar discussion on the need to cut down on meetings and conference calls.

Can someone send out a memo about the meeting about conference calls?

This is beginning to sound urgent. Should we organize a committee to schedule meetings about cutting down on conference calls?

No time. We've got a "How to manage your time" training session that started 20 minutes ago.

I'm already on the committee to shorten turn around time. That takes up most of my day.

I think we also need to schedule a chair saftey training session and a six hour meeting to discuss lagging morale.

No time. We've got a "How to manage your time" training session that started 20 minutes ago.

Aren't you also on the auditing committee that evaluates time management training?

Oh, damn. I have to go. I've got to meet with an employee who's been upsetting her colleagues with her lack of communication. She just comes in, sits down, and works. No interaction skills.

Aberzombie wrote:

No time. We've got a "How to manage your time" training session that started 20 minutes ago.

Aren't you also on the auditing committee that evaluates time management training?

No, I'm on the auditing team that's focusing on the effort to move to a paperless office environment. You can read about our recommendations in this 1000 page report.

We can not use the term 'lagging' anymore. It is offensive to deadline challenged workers.

Can I suggest that we also ban the use of the word "conference"? Its first three letters spell "con" which is the opposite of "pro" and can have negative connotations. Hmmm....we may also want to think of getting rid of "connotations" while we're at it.

Oh, damn. I have to go. I've got to meet with an employee who's been upsetting her colleagues with her lack of communication. She just comes in, sits down, and works. No interaction skills.

That is disturbing. It's time to have the works and plays well with others talk with her.

Whimsy Chris wrote:

Aberzombie wrote:

No time. We've got a "How to manage your time" training session that started 20 minutes ago.

Aren't you also on the auditing committee that evaluates time management training?

No, I'm on the auditing team that's focusing on the effort to move to a paperless office environment. You can read about our recommendations in this 1000 page report.

Could I have 10 copies of that? My committee on "Going Green" may be interested.

Aberzombie wrote:

Whimsy Chris wrote:

Aberzombie wrote:

No time. We've got a "How to manage your time" training session that started 20 minutes ago.

Aren't you also on the auditing committee that evaluates time management training?

No, I'm on the auditing team that's focusing on the effort to move to a paperless office environment. You can read about our recommendations in this 1000 page report.

Could I have 10 copies of that? My committee on "Going Green" may be interested.

I need about 40 copies for the waste and fraud commitee too.

Tarren Dei wrote:

Oh, damn. I have to go. I've got to meet with an employee who's been upsetting her colleagues with her lack of communication. She just comes in, sits down, and works. No interaction skills.

That is disturbing. It's time to have the works and plays well with others talk with her.

Sounds like we need to have a team building exercise.

How many copies of the productivity increase handout should I print for the meeting?

I've got this memo regarding cutting down on the bureaucracy, but it still has to be reviewed by the Division Head, the Department Head, and the Section Head.

David Fryer wrote:

Tarren Dei wrote:

Oh, damn. I have to go. I've got to meet with an employee who's been upsetting her colleagues with her lack of communication. She just comes in, sits down, and works. No interaction skills.

That is disturbing. It's time to have the works and plays well with others talk with her.

Sounds like we need to have a team building exercise.

Maybe an entire retreat. Maybe in Las Vegas. We could have some speakers come in and discuss produtivity while we are there.

How many copies of the productivity increase handout should I print for the meeting?

I would sit on that until the new numbers have been evaluated.

The fraud committee has changed their name to 'legally ambiguous' committee.

Damn it! Someone stole my copy of the Security Training program.

I've got this memo regarding cutting down on the bureaucracy, but it still has to be reviewed by the Division Head, the Department Head, and the Section Head.

You should run it by the Associate Vice-President, the Assistant Vice-President, the Department Vice-President, and the Vice-President in charge of Vice Presidents while you are at it.

Sebastian wrote:

How many copies of the productivity increase handout should I print for the meeting?

I would sit on that until the new numbers have been evaluated.

Okay, but can we at least confirm that version 7 is the final version?

The Safety Commitee just announced that anyone who gets hurt on the job will become a member of the safety commitee.

I'm going to burn CDs with this 2MB file of the Reducing Our Supply Wastage report. Who wants a copy?

Whimsy Chris wrote:

Sebastian wrote:

How many copies of the productivity increase handout should I print for the meeting?

I would sit on that until the new numbers have been evaluated.

Okay, but can we at least confirm that version 7 is the final version?

Yes it is the final version of version 7.

I've got this memo regarding cutting down on the bureaucracy, but it still has to be reviewed by the Division Head, the Department Head, and the Section Head.

There has been a change in personnel in Division. Check with Human Resources before distribution.

Aberzombie wrote:

I've got this memo regarding cutting down on the bureaucracy, but it still has to be reviewed by the Division Head, the Department Head, and the Section Head.

You should run it by the Associate Vice-President, the Assistant Vice-President, the Department Vice-President, and the Vice-President in charge of Vice Presidents while you are at it.

Good idea. I should probably also run it by the various commitee heads and team leaders, as well.

Just sitting here, in my cube, running my TPS reports.

Did you get the memo?

No kidding, I used to have to do a TPS report in my previous position at the same company I am working for now.

I'm going to burn CDs with this 2MB file of the Reducing Our Supply Wastage report. Who wants a copy?

Only if it has the soundtrack and all the pie charts.

Can I have my stapler back?

Aberzombie wrote:

I've got this memo regarding cutting down on the bureaucracy, but it still has to be reviewed by the Division Head, the Department Head, and the Section Head.

There has been a change in personnel in Division. Check with Human Resources before distribution.

I am not sure you are at liberty to disclouse that information. You better run it by legal first.

Sebastian wrote:

Whimsy Chris wrote:

Sebastian wrote:

How many copies of the productivity increase handout should I print for the meeting?

I would sit on that until the new numbers have been evaluated.

Okay, but can we at least confirm that version 7 is the final version?

Yes it is the final version of version 7.

No, I think Sandra in accounting made a few more minor changes. So this would be the first version of version 7.1

The benefits comittee wants to know why they haven't been getting their doughnuts.

No, I think Sandra in accounting made a few more minor changes. So this would be the first version of version 7.1

I asked Sandra, and she said that she gave you the final numbers to review.

Can I have my stapler back?

You will have to fill out a R24 in triplicate and submit to Acquisitions.

Can I have my stapler back?

I don't have your stapler. This is one I borrowed from Frank.

Whimsy Chris wrote:

Sebastian wrote:

How many copies of the productivity increase handout should I print for the meeting?

I would sit on that until the new numbers have been evaluated.

Okay, but can we at least confirm that version 7 is the final version?

Well, we all thought version 3.5 was the final version, until the Marketing and Profits committee gave us version 4. I'd sit on it until all 58 department heads and 22 vice-presidents approve.