Did you know that a lion's roar can be heard from five miles away?
Weird...I don't usually dispense useless facts, unless it's about turnips.
{braincells begin hibernating} Wow, that's something, Mr. Clavin. How far away can you hear a turnip?
Clavin?
It's not catching, is it?
*looks into beer mug* And there's no turnip in here, I hope?
Pickle juice is pretty good.
By the way, I only use turnips in cider.
Vodka and orange juice are my brands, especially when mixed together.
{wanders in from garage} Well, I've got good news and bad news. Good news is that the nice Mr. Efreeti down at the Monkeypaw Pawn Shop & Loan agreed to accept my rare Carrot Top rookie card as payment for a wish... so I wished away all our turnips.
The bad news is, we now have zucchini-sign the likes of which even Gilbert Gottfried has never seen.
{picks up "Crafting Gollums for Dummies" book, sits in front of 2,000 lb. of zucchinis, and begins making Craft checks} At least a zucchini golem will be handy for housework.
The turnips are in the attic!
*Walks into the Thread*
"This is your funny Sunny Godhead and I want to know who put all the these turnips in my resort. My night club and swimmming pool are over-flowing this red vegtables. Have you ever seen anyone swim in a wave pool filled bottom to top with radishes? HAve you?!"
*taps his foot impatiently*
"Who's going to clean up this mess?"
Message received, over. Echo tango bravo.
|
*Walks into the Thread*
"This is your funny Sunny Godhead and I want to know who put all the these turnips in my resort. My night club and swimmming pool are over-flowing this red vegtables. Have you ever seen anyone swim in a wave pool filled bottom to top with radishes? HAve you?!"
*taps his foot impatiently*
"Who's going to clean up this mess?"
Are they turnips or radishes? Those are two different vegetables. If they are turnips, that would be us. If they are radishes... I don't know... try the poodles.
Are they turnips or radishes? Those are two different vegetables. If they are turnips, that would be us. If they are radishes... I don't know... try the poodles.
{hides Celestial Follower's research on radnip and turnish hybrids under the sofa, whistles innocently}
Message received, over. Echo tango bravo.I copy echo tango bravo, requesting backup zulu whiskey mariachi
Affirmative. Suits en route whiskey mark seven golf mike tango.
Has anyone seen my recipe folder? I wanted to make a nice rutaturradden.
I just saw a triple rainbow.
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I just saw a triple rainbow.
"A triple rainbow rises. Troll blood has been spilled this night." - JRR Sebastian, The Lord of the Snark
Yay! My fourteenth favorite!
I made a fresh batch of poutine with turnip gravy and zucchini fries!
Impressive. Ever do weddings?
Wedding? Who's getting hitched? Do you need a fresh best man? Or a bouncer?
I married once then I "egged" her.
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<Brandishing axomiatic turnip>
Out damned slaad! Out, I say!
Alright! I get the message! You don't need to wave vegetables at me. I'm leaving.
Yay!
You're my favorite turnip, Axomi.
Thanks, boss! I like it when my hard work gets recognized.
The landlord tried to get in last night, but thankfully the electric bug zapper got him.
{smolders quietly on front porch}
If heaven ain't a lot like Dixie, I don't want to go.
Ugh, someone left the cat door to the First World unlatched again.
{shoots water pistol at Spanky} Off the couch! Shoo, shoo!
Bump that. I'm from Asgard.
Asgard!? {excitedly:} Can you get me an autographed picture of Mew Mew?
Asgard!? {excitedly:} Can you get me an autographed picture of Mew Mew?
I don't know what any of that crap is.
Isn't Thor from Asgard? He's dreamy.
CF, your party invitation lists suck.
(nsfw.....comic book breastises....)
{looks out window:} Gosh darn it! It looks like the Daisy Hill Puppy Farm had another cacodaemon breakout... and they've pooped all over our lawn again!
{sighs, picks up shovel} Someone start the coffee, I'm gonna go shovel it over the fence into that organic hippeh's yard.
Stupid f*%!ing cacodaemons! They give the rest of us minor outsiders a shitty name!
I did invite one of those empyreal lords, but he said he lost his invitation.
Maybe I should contact a celestial guru. Anyone have a number handy?
Try 1-900-blackmagiclovespecialist, it changed my life[/testimonial]
There we go!
<calls number>
Hey, boss? They're asking for a credit card number. Can I use the Celestial account?