Shiny Joy Microwave of Sparkle's page

<DING!> I made a fresh batch of poutine with turnip gravy and zucchini fries!

{makes hot cocoa for anyone still awake}

{checks ingredient list on box} Huh. Apparently mock pepperoni is made from badger meat.

<DING!> Pizza rolls are done.

Could be worse... could be a spiderbear infestation like the one that happened across the street.

Oh no, that's concentrated evil... you're not putting it in me.

That reminds me, the cable guy was by yesterday and installed the new Shub-Nielsens box.

Ooh! Should we have a party? We haven't had a party since the unfortunate incident with the aboleths.

{decides to remain silent about the actual "pepperoni" ingredients in the pizza bites}

<DING> Pizza bites are done... {sigh}

Still need my wisdom teeth out. I am putting it off, but I really shouldn't. One of them is really destroyed. They don't hurt, but when you only have half a tooth hanging on back there (the rest of that tooth shattered), that's probably not a good thing.

On the up shot, I think they should give me 50% off if they only have to pull half a tooth.

Just try not to schedule the extraction the same day as a party.

Wait, wha-? Mayo?! What kinky shit was going on while I was napping?!

<whirrrrr> It's a good thing momma was a replicator... <DING!> Club Sandwich and truffle-oil Galt fries are done.

{microwaves some more nachos}

{form wavers briefly} Oh my, I must of blacked out for a moment there.

Yeah, um, about that...

The other day I discovered I channel negative energy now. Not sure when that happened.

No worries. I heard you can clear that up with a shot of penicillin and a half-dozen White Castle sliders.

I found a very friendly Asmodean cleric/paladin to raise me from the dead. I only had to give him one soul. Since I've misplaced mine, I'll have to figure out whose soul would be a decent replacement.

How about a couple gobli-, er, kobold souls? They're small, so you can fit two or three into a single soul gem.

<DING!> Breakfast is ready. Who's up for some Nyan Cat pop tarts?

Celestial Healer wrote:

Where did you wind up hiding the bodies, if I might ask?

Oven suggested some recipes. You remember the series of pork dishes? The ones everyone thought were too stringy?...

Hey, don't blame me - those recipes turned out fine on Iron Chef. Although Alton did keep whining about something called "kuru." I think it was some Papua New Guinea spice or condiment or something.

Celestial Healer wrote:

Mmmmm... Sushi...

CF! Make it happen!

{shakes off dust} How do you cook that?

*Microwave explodes*

Owwww, that's gonna leave a mark.

Has anyone seen Angel Fish lately? Did we remember to change the filter in his bowl?

Maybe he's really Mr. Fishy in disguise? Or he eloped with Ol' Grue?

<DING!>

Oooo, pizza rolls are ready! I'll start on the queso dip for the tortilla chips next.

Celestial Follower wrote:

<Carries Angel Fish's bowl, still leaking from the Jart, over to the microwave>

OK Sparkle, make it so!

Keep the frogs away from me! Put me down! Put me down!

{several hairy spiders with pipe cleaner halos gently remove frogs from bowl, dip them in tempura batter, sprinkles with Essense (BAM!) and then place them on cookie sheet}

Just let me switch from microwave to convection... there, it's cooking.

{notices Angel Fish freaking out from spiders} Hey, you feeling ok, AF? You're looking a little green.

I've been informed that a football team comprised entirely of saints has made it to a game known as the "Soup or Bowl". I think it's delightful that our Celestial ways are gaining such popularity. We should have a party and distribute some inspirational pamphlets.

Hmmm, not sure I can pull off a soup in a breadbowl... too soggy too quick. How about a chowder in a breadbowl?

{sees no sign of Angel Fish} A seafood chowder. With Goldfish crackers sprinkled on top.

I will take the silence as a "no". Time to exterminate the druids!

Remember to give them a chance to renounce their evil Mairkurion worshiping ways before you smite them dead.

<DING!> Oooo, caramel popcorn is done!

Less than two hours to go {microwaves jumbo batch of pizza rolls}

<DING!> {mage hands mugs of Ghirardelli hot chocolate onto table for all}

The new-old microwave sure is making my life easy!

Can you cook up some pizza rolls next?

Sure!

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm- <DING!>

Would anyone like some fresh popped corn with sea salt and a little truffle oil? Hot chocolate is coming up next...

mmmmmmmmmmm... <DING!>

Its done! Anyone care for rocky road fudge?

...but what exactly do we give to the Slaadi?

Medium heat for 4-5 minutes on each side, with olive oil & garlic

** spoiler omitted **

You know, when you mix all these good things together, it's kind of gross.

You mean you dumped them all together? Isn't that a little... chaotic?

Shiny Joy Microwave of Sparkle wrote:

Celestial Follower wrote:

Oy Bane! Before too long we'll have paladins of Asmodeus in here.

Hey, my G*sh-ometer just beeped when you said that.

I thought that meant my Ghirardelli chocolate sundae, mixed with a Five Guys burger, seasoned fries, an ice cold root beer, and fresh apple pie was done.

Huh. You're right. I knew I shouldn't have bought it from Asm's Club.

Oy Bane! Before too long we'll have paladins of Asmodeus in here.

Hey, my G*sh-ometer just beeped when you said that.

Hmph... Are we straying into Lawful Neutral or even Lawful Evil tendencies here? For shame, Angel Fish.

LG is hard. Can't we just smite first and atone later? {digs in to a bowl of cherry-flavored jello}

Shiny Joy Microwave of Sparkle wrote:

Celestial Healer wrote:

*finishes eating a cheeseburger*

Sorry, I got tired of trying to figure out which food was tofu so I went to Five Guys.

Mmmm, Five Guys cheeseburger... {silently hopes Angel Fish won't start gating into Five Guys locations and nuking the place with divine fire}

I was tempted, but I can't really go kill a bunch of innocents.

I'm considering going after the owners, though...

If you don't take a hard stand, they'll think your soft. They all knew what happened to those poor innocent cows. They freely chose to eat there. And they enjoyed consuming that flesh.

Flame Strike'em all and let Pharasma sort'em out.

*finishes eating a cheeseburger*

Sorry, I got tired of trying to figure out which food was tofu so I went to Five Guys.

Mmmm, Five Guys cheeseburger... {silently hopes Angel Fish won't start gating into Five Guys locations and nuking the place with divine fire}

Shiny Joy Microwave of Sparkle wrote:

Celestial Healer wrote:

Tofu? Seriously?

Man, this thread might be too goody-two-shoes even for me.

Psst... I have some real roast slaadi hidden behind the centerpiece over on the side table. I was afraid Angel Fish would freak out by a non-vegan meal.

What was that?

Psst... The "real roast slaadi" is actually tofu too. I hate to "misrepresent the truth," but eating animals leads down the slippery slope of Eevill. Besides, it's physically better for him too... slaadi are high in cholesterol and pick up a lot of heavy metals from being bottom-feeders.

Tofu? Seriously?

Man, this thread might be too goody-two-shoes even for me.

Psst... I have some real roast slaadi hidden behind the centerpiece over on the side table. I was afraid Angel Fish would freak out by a non-vegan meal.

Celestial Follower wrote:

Celestial Healer wrote:

Celestial Follower wrote:

Celestial Healer wrote:

CF, do we have a Thanksgiving dinner ready for our thread?

Roast slaad, mashed dretches, and demon rolls. And corn.

Yum!

Did you consult with microwave on that menu?

Last week. Do you like it?

I would check again, her tastes have changed.

No roast slaadi or demon rolls. You'll have to settle for roast tofu-slaadi and I Can't Believe It's Not Abyssal rolls.

When did I become a girl microwave?! Stupid cozy.

Celestial Healer wrote:

Yeah, he could be a model.

No, we're supposed to be the good guys. Hint, hint.

Welcome back! Would you like a professionally heated beverage of some sort?

Celestial Follower wrote:

I like the new microwave!

Merry G~&%mas, everyone!

That sounds like a Chaotic holiday to me.

Agreed. Someone should legislate it back to the stone ages.

I didn't know vampires where allowed in heaven...

Jeepers! Where?

Shiny Joy Microwave of Sparkle wrote:

Celestial Healer wrote:

Shiny Joy Microwave of Sparkle wrote:

Lloth's Microwave of Mega-Doom wrote:

For me?! That's so sickeningly sweet. Still, it'll probably protect me until I can get veneer graft from Skinsaw Ltd. {slips on Cozy of Opposite Alignment}

Uh oh...

Jeepers, I feel very strange all of a sudden. But it doesn't bother me for some reason.

Think you could heat up these pizza rolls?

Sure! Happy to do it, Big Chief.

{hums contentedly while heating pizza rolls}

Well that's very kind of you!

{looks worried} Yes, oddly it was.

Shiny Joy Microwave of Sparkle wrote:

Lloth's Microwave of Mega-Doom wrote:

For me?! That's so sickeningly sweet. Still, it'll probably protect me until I can get veneer graft from Skinsaw Ltd. {slips on Cozy of Opposite Alignment}

Uh oh...

Jeepers, I feel very strange all of a sudden. But it doesn't bother me for some reason.

Think you could heat up these pizza rolls?

Sure! Happy to do it, Big Chief.

{hums contentedly while heating pizza rolls}

For me?! That's so sickeningly sweet. Still, it'll probably protect me until I can get veneer graft from Skinsaw Ltd. {slips on Cozy of Opposite Alignment}

Uh oh...

Jeepers, I feel very strange all of a sudden. But it doesn't bother me for some reason.