I would appreciate your thoughts.
Arbitrator's Lamp
Aura moderate abjuration and enchantment; CL 7
Slot--; Price 80,000; Weight 2
Description
This lamp looks like any other common lamp, though usually decorated with scales or the holy symbols of neutral and/or lawful deities. When the lamp is lit, it emits an aura of cooperation. All within a radius of 30 feet must make a Will save DC 16 every round, or become friendly to everyone in eye site. If the Will save succeeds, they are indifferent. Two failed saves in a row makes the person friendly to everyone he sees for the rest of the day. All within the lights radius are under the effects of a Sanctuary spell (will save DC 16).
Construction
Requirements craft wondrous item, heighten spell, sanctuary, calm emotions
Cost 40, 000
Off-topic, but does anyone else find that list a little strange? Not because of what is on it but because of what is not on it...
Why the Beholder, but not the Destrachan? Why are Yrthaks open content, but not Displacer Beasts? Seems odd to me...
Okay, I'm replying to a post several days old and a few pages back (and one that was admittedly off-topic to begin with), but in case you're still curious...
One thing that all the items on the list have in common that the ones you mentioned don't is that they all date way back to the earliest editions of (A)D&D. The gauth is a bit of an exception; it first appeared in the second-edition Forgotten Realms Monstrous Compendium Appendix in 1989, and I'm guessing it was declared product identity only because it's a beholder variant, and the beholder is PI. But all the rest date all the way back to first-edition Advanced Dungeons & Dragons, if not to basic. Aside from the gauth, the latest arrivals were the githzerai, the githyanki, and the slaad, who all first appeared in the first-edition Fiend Folio in 1981 (the kuo toa were also in the Fiend Folio, but had first appeared in an adventure module several years before); and the yuan ti, who didn't make it into a monster book until the first-edition Monster Manual II in 1983, but had appeared previously in a 1981 module called Dwellers in the Forbidden City. All the other monsters on the list were in the first-edition Monster Manual way back at the beginning of AD&D (and may have even appeared in Basic D&D before that; my Knowledge (Gaming) check fails me here).
So, not counting the gauth, every product identity monster from the 3E SRD goes all the way back to first-edition Dungeons & Dragons--and even the gauth was in second edition. Contrast that with the monsters you mentioned, the destrachan and the yrthak--both of them (as far as I know; someone please correct me if I'm wrong) were created specifically for 3E, and never appeared before the third edition Monster Manual.
So the criteria for a monster's being declared product identity, it seems, are more than just being a unique and interesting monster. It had to do with being, in some respect, a defining part of the game--and part of that has to do with having roots way back in the early editions.
Wow! Well I wont be holding my breath for feedback from Clark (though I am looking forward to it) but I'd love feedback from anyone else. Oh, I already realize I messed up and didn't put the description in second person
Blood Leech Choker
Aura moderate necromancy; CL 5th
Slot neck; Price 30,000gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
Thirteen jagged crystals adorn this tarnished silver choker. Once per day the wearer may siphon 1d6/ 2 hit dice, worth of hit points into the crystals. Once stored, these hit points remain until the choker is activated. Storing hit points in this choker is a painful process. The crystals cut into the wearer’s neck and slowly turn dark red as they drain blood. It takes 1 minute per d6 drained. After each minute the choker deals damage to the wearer equal to the hit points stored and causes the wearer to become fatigued (Fort DC 16 negates). Hit points stored from different days do not stack, the newer hit points replace those stored on previous days. The choker is activated whenever the wearer is brought below 0 hit points at which time all stored hit points are immediately restored to the wearer. The choker must be worn for 24 hours before being used and if it is ever removed all stored hit points are lost.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, vampiric touch; Cost 15,000gp
Dedicated Voter Season 9
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tbh - I don't get asking for only Clark's opinion. Clark's an officail judge and great guy. He's easy on our feelings and tough on our designs and all. But he's also really busy. Also, there are a lot of brains around here that can give great feedback.
There's also this: in gearing for a run at Clark's slush pile, or RPGS '10, the fans have a huge say. In RPGS, they have a bigger say than Clark, because we vote after round one. I'd think anyone still competing or intending to submit elsewhere would want a lot of feedback from fans, would-be designers, and accomplished designers.
If anyone want to assail the spellshare bracelets, your comments are welcome. Anything that helps me approach my design "career" from different angles is invited, in order to regain some momentum. : }
The point is.......
If you want to become a firefighter...do you ask a firefighter how to train to become one or do you ask someone selling insurance? People may have good points, but their points might be stuff CLark says BAH! they are smoking crack OR he will say the same thing. Others aren't necessary going to give me insight on how to have a better shot of winning a spot next year, but I would put more stock in it that Clark would. If they do the same set-up next year it WILL NOT be the fans that get me to the top 32, but the person who offered advice on how I can achieve a spot on the top 32....
Hope that clears it up for you...
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Dedicated Voter Season 9
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I fully believe that Clark, in time, will get to your submission. But if you were top 32 I probably think you would get the same criticism as Stefan gave you.No worries...not that I cant handle critics, but really wanted to hear from an official source from the contest....I'm sorry. I really am and deleted my comment.
I misread that line.
Not rushing Clark...hell if it takes him 6 months then it takes six months, but as I posted earlier....he might be one of three that give me a chance next year. :)
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Dedicated Voter Season 9
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Off-topic, but does anyone else find that list a little strange? Not because of what is on it but because of what is not on it...
Why the Beholder, but not the Destrachan? Why are Yrthaks open content, but not Displacer Beasts? Seems odd to me...
Okay, I'm replying to a post several days old and a few pages back (and one that was admittedly off-topic to begin with), but in case you're still curious...
One thing that all the items on the list have in common that the ones you mentioned don't is that they all date way back to the earliest editions of (A)D&D. The gauth is a bit of an exception; it first appeared in the second-edition Forgotten Realms Monstrous Compendium Appendix in 1989, and I'm guessing it was declared product identity only because it's a beholder variant, and the beholder is PI. But all the rest date all the way back to first-edition Advanced Dungeons & Dragons, if not to basic. Aside from the gauth, the latest arrivals were the githzerai, the githyanki, and the slaad, who all first appeared in the first-edition Fiend Folio in 1981 (the kuo toa were also in the Fiend Folio, but had first appeared in an adventure module several years before); and the yuan ti, who didn't make it into a monster book until the first-edition Monster Manual II in 1983, but had appeared previously in a 1981 module called Dwellers in the Forbidden City. All the other monsters on the list were in the first-edition Monster Manual way back at the beginning of AD&D (and may have even appeared in Basic D&D before that; my Knowledge (Gaming) check fails me here).
So, not counting the gauth, every product identity monster from the 3E SRD goes all the way back to first-edition Dungeons & Dragons--and even the gauth was in second edition. Contrast that with the monsters you mentioned, the destrachan and the yrthak--both of them (as far as I know; someone please correct me if I'm wrong) were created specifically for 3E, and never appeared before the third edition Monster...
Been awhile since I had Business Law in college, but if remember correctly, WotC can hold that copyright for 50 yrs for print material. So when that time is up and they do not renew the copyright, then Paizo (or whoever) could buy and own it..... Lawyer people lend me your ears...err...knowledge....been too long to remember copyright stuff.... Stupid 8am Law class......
EDIT: GAH!!! life plus 70 yrs...dang it we all be head before it leaves WotC's hands.... stupid copyright laws
So when that time is up and they do not renew the copyright, then Paizo (or whoever) could buy and own it.....
Actually, when copyright expires, it doesn't mean someone else can buy the property and own it. It means it passes into the public domain and nobody owns it. (Or everybody owns it, depending on how you look at it.)
You can't buy properties from the public domain. If you could, there wouldn't be anything worthwhile left in the public domain. One company would already have bought all rights to Greek mythology; another would own the game of tic-tac-toe... Oh, and someone would definitely have bought the rights to the Bible; think what a lucrative property that would be...
NIGHT GUARD
Anyone else want to give me ideas on this? I now know it's a "camping" item and that's something disliked, but if you go beyond that ... whatcha think? Thanks for any constructive criticism :
I had a similar idea for an item, but then I read Clark's comments about camping gear and I scrapped it. (Not that it helped me!)
I like how your item is written - it's got flavour, and it's mechanics are clear. However, how often do your PCs sleep in beds or on sleeping pallets? You're being to soft on 'em! For this item to have any real utility, I think you should remove this requirement.
Otherwise, I'm in two minds... As a player, not bickering about sleeping order is nice, as is having an insta-buff to AC, for those sleeping in their night-clothes. As a DM, I don't like that it's permanent and it doesn't use a slot.
Hope that's helpful...
LOL! Well, the idea was for protecting kids, so beds or sleeping pallets for the less wealthy, was the idea :) Also that made it so the players couldn't just throw down anywhere, wrapped in their cloak, and have this item work :)
As to using a slot, if it did, it would be one of those "swap out" items, since it's only useful for sleep time, and being a lady with long hair, I hate sleeping in any necklace :)
Thanks for the critique :)
Okay, I'll bite. Hopefully not too hard, though. ;-D
I'll take your item and provide feedback in stream as I read it:
I'm not sure I like the name that much.
Yeah, the name was a BIG pain ... because the first thing I came up with was Dreamcatcher, and that has sooo much visual and mental baggage with it, that I knew that was out, and nothing else was really doing it.
I like some of the descriptive flavor you're invoking here. But the attunement thing is kind of wonky. You didn't indicate how long that would take (though I'd assume 24 hours?) and I'd like to envision this kind of trinket as something a parent could give their child that very night and have it protect them immediately as opposed to requiring attunement.
As for the "goddess of night"...why not just name her? You could have used the Golarion pantheon easily enough for this item. Desna is the goddess of dreams and luck, so she could be the patron for this kind of item. Additionally, the Varisians worship Desna quite a bit, and the idea of the beads changing to match the color of the user's birthstone just sounds like something that would resonate well with that culture. So I think you could have done well to tie it into Paizo's content. I don't always feel that way about every item. I stayed away from it for mine, because I wanted it to stay generic...i.e., it wasn't tied to a deity, which will always vary from one campaign to another anyway.
Yup, was thinking 24 hours, as that seemed to be the standard, though having it be something like 6 or 12 would be more in keeping with the spirit of the guard. As to using Desna's name, in my reading of the rules and the items in the PFRPG, nothing was specifically Golarian, but everything was more "generic" ... so I wanted it to be whichever world's nighttime goddess, to fit the style. In hindsight, I should have used Desna, and saved myself some words and awkwardness.
"Gamer Girrl" wrote:
Designed to protect children from night horrors, it guards its owner when hung from a bedpost or a 2' pole at the head of a sleeping pallet, as protection from evil.This part reads kind of funny. The first time I read it, I asked myself if mounting it from a bedpost or on a 2' pole is necessary every time you use it? What if the pole is 1' instead? Personally, I would have made this a charm on a necklace right away. That would work really well on the notion of parents giving their children a locket with a loved one's picture in it...or something to that effect...so they'd be watched over throughout the night. And, if you really want to get a little supernatural, I might've had the locket actually invoke a kind spirit from the celestial realm...or the ghost of a beloved family member...to act as the guardian for the night. You could define that effect with something like an unseen servant, perhaps...and had it be the reason for the protection from evil.I was after the visual of the item hanging above the child, glinting above their head. The 2'pole was to give a similar height from the bedpost if the kid didn't have a bedstead but the simpler pallet. I truly like your notion of the spirit guardian, will have to ponder on that if I do a rewrite for my own group :)
I'm assuming the alarm that "pings" in the sleeper's head results from the actual alarm spell. It's an abjuration, too, so it works well and seems logical. But you should reference it in your construction requirements.
My only other advice would be that, mechanically, you might want to describe exactly what happens in combat terms if an evil creature attempts to attack. The protection from evil and magic circle against evil should prevent bodily contact from evil outsiders. But if you really want to make sure your loved one is safe, why not invoke sanctuary on top of protection from evil as you wake up the sleeping victim. That way, it makes sure they aren't flat-footed...it might actually prevent the evil creature from making an attack (if it fails its save)...and it works better with the spell effects already defined.
The alarm spell is in the construction reqs :) In this case it only allows the silent alarm method, as described in the spell.
Again, in hindsight, I should have expanded on the what happens and come up with a tighter reason for the not flat-footed. I thought that was an outgrowth of the intent, and the sort of thing of "tweaking" of the original spells to something different ... more pondering.
Personally, I think I would've left off the improved version using magic circle against evil. Obviously, such an item could be out there. But leave it for someone else to define. By including it in your description, it ate up words that you could have used to further refine and style the protection from evil version.
Yeah, I realized I'd tried to much the day after I submitted, and could have done more with the base ... hindsight's a cruel one, she is :)
In Summary: I know it's a camping item. But it's a logical one. I think you could make it something more than a mere camping item by describing how it's used to ward away evil spirits or influences. I'd recommend having it protect against castings of nightmare and sending as well. Essentially, if you're going to claim it's a night guard...make sure it fully guards against every malign thing that could interrupt or vex your sleep.
Thank you for your input. You've definitely given me ideas to ponder and play with, and I do appreciate it! Good luck with your villain :)
NIGHT GUARD
Anyone else want to give me ideas on this? I now know it's a "camping" item and that's something disliked, but if you go beyond that ... whatcha think? Thanks for any constructive criticism :)
It may be a camping item but I think it's a good one, particularly the improved version which would stop a lot of tedious discussion about who's going on which watch in our group!
Cheers
Richard
Thankee, glad you liked it :)
RPG Superstar 2013
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Dedicated Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka Steven T. Helt
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If you want to become a firefighter...do you ask a firefighter how to train to become one or do you ask someone selling insurance? People may have good points, but their points might be stuff CLark says BAH! they are smoking crack OR he will say the same thing.
Clark isn't a firefighter. He's a fire marshall, or some other higher ranking office related to the field. The firefighters are long time players, fresh contributors, and such. I would ask a firefighter, a fire marshall, inspect a few smoldering husks of houses, examine how different fire fighters in different parts of the city work differently, etc. Maybe even a couple of guys who's houses tend to keep burning down.
My point: you risk losing out on valuable feedback when you tell a message board you're only interested in feedback from Clark. First it's a message board. You can't tell people not to respond. If you want an individual audience with the fire marshall, make an appointment and see how that works. You can always ask, but I wouldn't often honor that, because the boards aren't here for you to ask Clark a question, or for me to pimp myself to Erik Mona. They're here to educate and entertain everyone.
Plus, it doesn't make friends. Imagine one of the top 32 posting "No thanks. I'll just take my comments from the judges." How many votes will that guy cost himself by declaring no one else's opinion matters?
You aren't just not in Superstar this year. You might also not move on next year because someone remembers you as the "Thinks the rest of us are a waste of time guy."
{Note I am not saying this is how you feel or this is how I would feel next year.}
Anyway, someone offered feedback and you dismissed it as "I asked you not to respond." They're everyones' boards, not your boards. Do what you want, but remember we're part of a community, and this particular community offers the best design feedback of any I've encountered.
...remember we're part of a community, and this particular community offers the best design feedback of any I've encountered.
Well said. Absolutely agree...
--Neil
My point: you risk losing out on valuable feedback when you tell a message board you're only interested in feedback from Clark.
While I agree with most of your points Steven, I still think it's DmRrostarr's (and anyone else's) "right" to say, "I only want feedback from 1 person please." and that people should respect that "right". He didn't demand it, he requested politely. So even though it's a public board he could hope that the people here would respect his wishes. Maybe he knows he's kind of sensative and is worried about others not being as diplomatic as Clark is.
The other people on the boards can then form their own opinion. I know you're trying to "help" (and like I said I think it's good advice) but as it is now I think you're advice is coming off as chastisment for his choice. And part of that could be the medium of the conversation (ala no body language).
Others aren't necessary going to give me insight on how to have a better shot of winning a spot next year, but I would put more stock in it that Clark would. If they do the same set-up next year it WILL NOT be the fans that get me to the top 32, but the person who offered advice on how I can achieve a spot on the top 32....
Hope that clears it up for you...
If 10 non-judge fans critique your item, and they all say pretty much the same thing, that should give you some insight on what needs improvement.
Let's assume this individual made it to top 32, where in the next round, the fans all get to comment on things, and vote him/her to the next level or not.
If this individual doesn't make it to top 16, are they going to ignore all of the fan comments and votes, and only focus on what the three judges had to say?
Ultimately, it boils down to one thing - if you can't take constructive criticism, regardless of who it's from, you don't really belong in this field.
My point: you risk losing out on valuable feedback when you tell a message board you're only interested in feedback from Clark.While I agree with most of your points Steven, I still think it's DmRrostarr's (and anyone else's) "right" to say, "I only want feedback from 1 person please." and that people should respect that "right". He didn't demand it, he requested politely. So even though it's a public board he could hope that the people here would respect his wishes. Maybe he knows he's kind of sensative and is worried about others not being as diplomatic as Clark is.
The other people on the boards can then form their own opinion. I know you're trying to "help" (and like I said I think it's good advice) but as it is now I think you're advice is coming off as chastisment for his choice. And part of that could be the medium of the conversation (ala no body language).
Perhaps for future entries (if Clark or someone else ever again volunteers to do this in a fit of insanity :)) there would be an option of either asking the feedback on private email or on public board. Because mailing on public board = getting your mail scrutinized and possibly commented by general public. That kind of is a part of this whole contest.
And after all, while Clark might be a person to get you into Top 32, I am the person who will get you into Top 16. So ignoring me and my opinions is not a good long-term tactic in the contest...
While I agree with most of your points Steven, I still think it's DmRrostarr's (and anyone else's) "right" to say, "I only want feedback from 1 person please." and that people should respect that "right". He didn't demand it, he requested politely. So even though it's a public board he could hope that the people here would respect his wishes. Maybe he knows he's kind of sensative and is worried about others not being as diplomatic as Clark is.
Clark has been pretty honest and blunt with his comments. I don't see him pulling too many punches on his critiques.
I've got to agree with Steven on this one. This is a public forum. Once items are posted publicly, the public comments on them.
That's how it worked last year, and that's how it works this year.
It's not even a respect issue, it's just the nature of the medium, and of the contest.
The whole idea of not wanting people to comment on your item would be like self-publishing 50,000 copies of your novel, and then storing them all in your garage so that nobody could read them and say anything critical of them.
All of the above is correct.
So let's get back on topic: anyone want to chew on my submission?
It's not even a respect issue, it's just the nature of the medium, and of the contest.
How can it "not be a respect issue". If I ask someone politely not to do something and they do it anyway that's like saying "I don't care what you say I'm going to do what I want." He's taking a risk that people aren't going to listen but he's probably thinking "the people around here are pretty great so I probably won't have any problems". He wasn't demanding anything and he wasn't asking anyone to do or not do anything that was going to cause them pain or stress or extra work.
Remember I do agree with all the points about why he should accept feedback from others, just that it shouldn't be forced on him. There are plenty of items around for people to review.
The end "prize" of this contest is the possibility of having your own work published as gaming product to be purchased by all the people that are in this forum.
Once your product is published it will be examined, praised and scrutinized in these very messageboards by people who both like and dislike your work for various reasons.
Anyone who wants to win this contest is going to have to have thicker skin and remember one very important rule. - You will never please everyone, but if handled correctly any feedback can be constructive -
True, the judges will be the voices that will tell you how to win this contest...but the others here will be the ones that buy your product so their opinion is just as valuable later down the road.
For some it might also be good to remember that everyone here understands that these entries are but small examples of your creativity, and everyone has off days. Just because an entry is not as well received as you would hope by the general consensus, that does not mean we assume this is how all your work is. It sucks not having a 'portfolio' of work for people to view to get a bigger sampling of your ideas, but this a contest and your ability to pick the most appropriate piece of your work is part of the entry.
I think we are all lucky that this is a gamers community, because after almost 30 years in it I can honestly say that the people with whom I have shared a gaming table, whether at a home or a convention, are some of the most well rounded and honorable people I have met - so its those opinions I would want in the long run anyways.
All of the above is correct.
So let's get back on topic: anyone want to chew on my submission?
I like the effect, and I like the visualization of a not-exactly-good member of the party flaring up the eyes, grabbing an NPC by his shirt/jacket and slamming him up against the wall while shouting "TELL ME WHERE THEY ARE!"
That said, while I think they're cool, and I definitely wouldn't turn a pair of them down if they were found while adventuring, I don't see them as something my character would buy, given the chance.
That's been my own personal litmus test for these wonderous items - if I was out and about with a backpack full of gold, which of these would I be all over, and which of these would be left for "well, maybe next time..." ??
Mechanically, I can't claim to be an expert, but if things were taken completely literally, as written, does the ray of fire do cold damage (since it's supposed to be treated as a ray of frost)??
The common-sense part of me says that it does fire damage, but the literal-minded part of me says "No, the text says treat as a ray of frost. The ray of frost does cold damage, so this must be cold fire."
Past that, I dunno - the 10 round duration, seems a bit wonky, because I don't see using these in combat all that often, and a duration stated as "1 minute" sounds better.
But, like I said, I'm not the mechanics expert. I've seen items in the SRD with durations listed in minutes, other items listed as rounds. I'm not really sure what the proper format is, but, to me, a combat item/spell seems better described with rounds, and an item/spell better suited to a role-play situation seems better described with actual time.
Summary: I do really like them, and you can rest assured, if I had them, I'd be wearing them all the time - I'd just hem and haw if they were in the glass display case, waiting for me to purchase.
How can it "not be a respect issue". If I ask someone politely not to do something and they do it anyway that's like saying "I don't care what you say I'm going to do what I want." He's taking a risk that people aren't going to listen but he's probably thinking "the people around here are pretty great so I probably won't have any problems". He wasn't demanding anything and he wasn't asking anyone to do or not do anything that was going to cause them pain or stress or extra work.
Remember I do agree with all the points about why he should accept feedback from others, just that it shouldn't be forced on him. There are plenty of items around for people to review.
I could turn it back around and say that the poster isn't respecting how this site works by asking people not to comment.
I didn't say he was demanding anything, and I didn't say he was impolite. I simply said that this isn't an issue of respect. If you don't want people to comment on your item, don't post it publicly on a forum where people comment on your item.
Further, nobody is forcing feedback on him. He wasn't forced to post his item.
Seems like the kitchen is too hot for some people...
ETA: My last post on the subject. Not the purpose of this thread, and I don't want to be the one who derails it.
All of the above is correct.
So let's get back on topic: anyone want to chew on my submission?
I like the effect, and I like the visualization of a not-exactly-good member of the party flaring up the eyes, grabbing an NPC by his shirt/jacket and slamming him up against the wall while shouting "TELL ME WHERE THEY ARE!"
I don't see them as something my character would buy, given the chance.
Mechanically, I can't claim to be an expert, but if things were taken completely literally, as written, does the ray of fire do cold damage (since it's supposed to be treated as a ray of frost)??
Past that, I dunno - the 10 round duration, seems a bit wonky, because I don't see using these in combat all that often, and a duration stated as "1 minute" sounds better.
Summary: I do really like them, and you can rest assured, if I had them, I'd be wearing them all the time - I'd just hem and haw if they were in the glass display case, waiting for me to purchase.
Thank you for the feedback, see how easy that is ;>
1) cool to find, but not cool enough to buy........ok, I'll fix that next year.
2) it deals fire damage, but uses ray of frost for the mechanics.
3) you are right, 1 minute sounds better. Just before entering I thought that it needed a limit on the +5 bonus. 1 minute would have been the cleaner option.
If you want me to return the favor just say so.
If you want me to return the favor just say so.
I didn't enter. :)
Perhaps next year!
If you want me to return the favor just say so.I didn't enter. :)
Perhaps next year!
What do you mean, you didn't enter? Biggest event this year and you didn't enter, tsk tsk.
If you want me to return the favor just say so.I didn't enter. :)
Perhaps next year!
I wouldn't mind any feedback on my item hiding back on page 2. I thought it was unique when submitting it, only to find out its 'just another gateway chalk item' :) - I really must see this Pan's Labyrinth movie.
I just want to see if the mechanics of my item make sense and seem in theme.
What do you mean, you didn't enter? Biggest event this year and you didn't enter, tsk tsk.
I figure I've got me another year of DM'ing, and once I get my head around some more stuff, I'll be in a better position to enter.
That, and I've been so busy with work for the last two months, I've barely had time to PLAY, let alone build an item compliant with the new ruleset (I just downloaded the update to the beta yesterday).
Real life sucks, sometimes. :P
Nix's Chalk of Endless Ways
Aura strong conjuration (cursed - unreliable); CL 17th
Slot --; Price 160,000gp; Weight --DESCRIPTION
By all appearances just a set of two colored chalk, but when each is used to draw a doorway on a different surface an inky black portal connects the two surfaces similar to a Teleportation Circle. Prior to the portal forming the chalk functions normally and can be wiped away, affected by rain, etc. Once both doorways are drawn, the created portal has a duration of ten minutes and cannot be dispelled. One being may pass through at a time and each sentient being has a cumulative 5% chance of collapsing it. Elemental forces of natural or magical nature will not pass through. Spells cannot be cast through the portal, and line of sight is blocked. Item may be used once per day and must be stored, for eight hours of each day, in a container with chalk powder or it will not function. Chalk is utterly destroyed if two sentient beings of diametrically opposed alignments pass through the same active portal.CONSTRUCTION
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, teleportation circle; Cost 80,000gp-------------------------------------------
I cleaned up the format, and would love some feedback on this item. Just wondering how much messing up the format counted against any possible mojo this item may have had.
Who is Nix? And does he really add to the description. I don't think so.
The first sentence of the description doesn't flow very well, but that is editable. Basicly you have 2 pieces of chalk that can be used to create a doorway => this is cool, good infiltration item. Using etc. in a sentence kills you here, be complete in your description to avoid discussions at the game table. How many people can cross the doorway? that would be useful information. I think you could have found a better use of the wordcount spent on the curse aspect of your item, it adds nothing that the item is destroyed because a LG and CE shared the portal.Ok, the above is a little rough, but you can take it right?
Nix's Chalk of Endless Ways
Aura strong conjuration (cursed - unreliable); CL 17th
Slot --; Price 160,000gp; Weight --DESCRIPTION
By all appearances just a set of two colored chalk, but when each is used to draw a doorway on a different surface an inky black portal connects the two surfaces similar to a Teleportation Circle. Prior to the portal forming the chalk functions normally and can be wiped away, affected by rain, etc. Once both doorways are drawn, the created portal has a duration of ten minutes and cannot be dispelled. One being may pass through at a time and each sentient being has a cumulative 5% chance of collapsing it. Elemental forces of natural or magical nature will not pass through. Spells cannot be cast through the portal, and line of sight is blocked. Item may be used once per day and must be stored, for eight hours of each day, in a container with chalk powder or it will not function. Chalk is utterly destroyed if two sentient beings of diametrically opposed alignments pass through the same active portal.CONSTRUCTION
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, teleportation circle; Cost 80,000gp-------------------------------------------
I cleaned up the format, and would love some feedback on this item. Just wondering how much messing up the format counted against any possible mojo this item may have had.
Who is Nix? And does he really add to the description. I don't think so.
The first sentence of the description doesn't flow very well, but that is editable. Basicly you have 2 pieces of chalk that can be used to create a doorway => this is cool, good infiltration item. Using etc. in a sentence kills you here, be complete in your description to avoid discussions at the game table. How many people can cross the doorway? that would be useful information. I think you could have found a better use of the wordcount spent on the curse aspect of your item, it adds nothing that the item is destroyed because a LG and CE shared the portal.
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Yeah no problem here. The 'etc' really bothered me but since it refers to all the ways that regular chalk can be removed I thought it may have been warranted in this situation.
The Nix thing should have probably been taken out. There was correlation to my villian later, but since I had to edit the text down it added nothing to the first round entry.
In reference to 'how many people can cross' I do believe it mentions that 1 being may pass at a time across portal, with the curse making a collapse more imminent the more people cross over.
I will definately go about my entry a different way next year. Too much backstory of the item that is hinted at in the mechanics (Curse, alignment..) but is not able to be explained in the wordcount. I think my next entry will be a simpler idea with no thematic links to the 'next round'.
Thanks a bunch. Anyone else please feel free to comment.
Prior to the portal forming the chalk functions normally and can be wiped away, affected by rain, etc.
could have easily been reworked to
Prior to the portal forming the item functions normally and can be erased in any way normal chalk would be.
I wouldn't mind any feedback on my item hiding back on page 2. I thought it was unique when submitting it, only to find out its 'just another gateway chalk item' :) - I really must see this Pan's Labyrinth movie.
I just want to see if the mechanics of my item make sense and seem in theme.
Don't worry, I haven't seen Pan's Labyrinth, either.
So, keeping in mind that I've already disclaimered that I'm no expert...
160,000 gp is pretty darned expensive. I understand that this is a 9th level spell (requiring 17th level caster, right?), but, from the description of the spell itself, it has a material cost of 1,000 gp
For the life of me, I can't find a spell description of permanency in the Beta, but I've found it in the SRD, and it has a cost of 4,500 xp. No XP costs in PFRPG, so does that translate directly to gp, or is there a formula there?
A teleportation circle made permanent with permanency doesn't appear to have a duration on it, while the chalk gateway does.
I think I understand why the duration is there - with a teleportation circle, once the destination is designated, it can't be changed, whereas the chalk is reusable.
Was the cumulative collapse chance another attempt at limiting abuse of the chalk? Same with the destruction trigger?
How long does the chalk last? Can I create a gateway, once per day, forever?
I like the concept of it, and the utility factor - one member has one piece, and another has the other. I see a lot of very cool possibilities with that!
The biggest thing that makes it undesirable for me, though, is that huge cost. A teleportation circle cast by the party mage lasts, what, 90 minutes? 170+ minutes? A scroll of teleportation circle, per the SRD, costs 4,825 gp. Economically, that seems better, without any of the drawbacks the chalk has.
If I'm missing something, please, let me know - I could be overlooking the key to this.
Clark, well here is my official entry. I've got some idea's why it didn't make the cut and look forward to your review to see if I am correct about them.
Eyes of Fear and Fire
Aura faint evocation and necromancy; CL 1st
Slot eyes; Price 2600 gp; Weight –
Description
These soot colored, crystal lenses always feel warm to the touch. The lenses fit over the user’s eyes and color them pitch black, the user receives a +2 competence bonus on Intimidate checks due to the otherworldly appearance of his eyes. Three times per day, the user can will the lenses to blaze with hellish fire for 10 rounds as a free action, the user gains a +5 competence bonus on Intimidate checks. Two times per day, the user can launch a ray of fire (treat as a ray of frost) from his eyes at a target as a standard action. Once per day, the user can use cause fear (Will DC 11 partial) as a gaze attack. The gaze attack can only affect one target.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, cause fear, ray of frost; Cost 1300 gp
Hey DJ,
Here is my feedback on the Eyes of Fear and Fire.Name:
The name is good but slightly misleading. It implies something slightly more than lenses.
Description:
The description is cool and works fairly well; I've had a few characters with smoked glasses so that is nice. However, there is a problem in that the description leaves ambiguity as to what the eyes are. As written, they might be spectacles, goggles or contact lenses I am pretty sure they are contact lenses, but there is just enough uncertainty for it to be a minor problem.
Mechanics:
This is one of my week point, I will freely admit so I will let other better minds comment on them, other than to say, that it looks a little like it might be considered a 'Spell in a Can swiss army knife.' That is not a killer, but is hurts the chances I believe.
The Idea:
It is nice idea; I can see influences from things like 30 days of night for the eye colour and intimidation element. Expressions such as 'Eyes like burning coals.' spring instantly to mind. That said, I think you missed a trick from a story perspective. One of the strongest themes of magic is the idea of power coming from of sacrifice. Be it the Odin cutting out his own eye and hanging himself from the world tree or the analogous tale at the heart of Christianity. I would have played with the name more, making them small round stones. to use them, the owner would have to cut out both his eyes and push the stones into the sockets. He would regain his sight and gain access to the powers of the eyes. It also draws a nice parallel to the eye of vecna.
I wouldn't mind any feedback on my item hiding back on page 2. I thought it was unique when submitting it, only to find out its 'just another gateway chalk item' :) - I really must see this Pan's Labyrinth movie.
I just want to see if the mechanics of my item make sense and seem in theme.
Don't worry, I haven't seen Pan's Labyrinth, either.
So, keeping in mind that I've already disclaimered that I'm no expert...
160,000 gp is pretty darned expensive. I understand that this is a 9th level spell (requiring 17th level caster, right?), but, from the description of the spell itself, it has a material cost of 1,000 gp
For the life of me, I can't find a spell description of permanency in the Beta, but I've found it in the SRD, and it has a cost of 4,500 xp. No XP costs in PFRPG, so does that translate directly to gp, or is there a formula there?
A teleportation circle made permanent with permanency doesn't appear to have a duration on it, while the chalk gateway does.
I think I understand why the duration is there - with a teleportation circle, once the destination is designated, it can't be changed, whereas the chalk is reusable.
Was the cumulative collapse chance another attempt at limiting abuse of the chalk? Same with the destruction trigger?
How long does the chalk last? Can I create a gateway, once per day, forever?
I like the concept of it, and the utility factor - one member has one piece, and another has the other. I see a lot of very cool possibilities with that!
The biggest thing that makes it undesirable for me, though, is that huge cost. A teleportation circle cast by the party mage lasts, what, 90 minutes? 170+ minutes? A scroll of teleportation circle, per the SRD, costs 4,825 gp. Economically, that seems better, without any of the drawbacks the chalk has.
If I'm missing something, please, let me know - I could be overlooking the key to this.
This is how my math worked on the item.
Command Word (I took the item not activating until both doorways have been drawn to be similar to a command word being spoken for pricing concerns) -> base cost (spell level) 9 x (caster level) 17 x (base cost) 1800 = 275,400
No space limitation -> cost x 2 = 550,800
Charges per day (1) -> cost / 5 = 110,160
Spell has material component cost (If item is continuous or unlimited, not charged, determine cost as if it had 100 charges. If it has some daily limit, determine as if it
had 50 charges) = (1000gp material component cost x 50 charges) + base cost = 160,160
It still seemed large compared to other teleportation reference items so I sliced the cost to create in half to 80,000.
In regards to the duration, the teleportation circle spell has a 10 minute duration/level duration and there was no permanency spell needed to create so I used that as the portal duration as well.
The Unreliable curse and alignment collapse were tied into the villian I would have submitted but in retrospect would have been better either explained or left out, and as Darkjoy said, added nothing shoved in there like that.
Yes the item is permanent, 1 use per day. It doesn't function if not kept in a pouch with chalk for 8 hours per day, but it is not destroyed as such.
Thanks for the questions.
reviewed Eyes of Fear and Fire
Thanks zombie,
shouldn't you be hard at work? Typing up a new module takes a lot of time ;>
I think you've hit the nail right on the head with a few of your points, but I won't explore them in detail, yet.
I like your idea of really replacing the eyes, but at the same time this takes it beyond 1st level in a big way and I don't think it is my way of designing stuff: blood and gore has its uses, but I don't go overboard with them (not at 1st level atleast ;>)
Nix's Chalk of Endless Ways
Aura strong conjuration (cursed - unreliable); CL 17th
Slot --; Price 160,000gp; Weight --DESCRIPTION
By all appearances just a set of two colored chalk, but when each is used to draw a doorway on a different surface an inky black portal connects the two surfaces similar to a Teleportation Circle. Prior to the portal forming the chalk functions normally and can be wiped away, affected by rain, etc. Once both doorways are drawn, the created portal has a duration of ten minutes and cannot be dispelled. One being may pass through at a time and each sentient being has a cumulative 5% chance of collapsing it. Elemental forces of natural or magical nature will not pass through. Spells cannot be cast through the portal, and line of sight is blocked. Item may be used once per day and must be stored, for eight hours of each day, in a container with chalk powder or it will not function. Chalk is utterly destroyed if two sentient beings of diametrically opposed alignments pass through the same active portal.CONSTRUCTION
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, teleportation circle; Cost 80,000gp
What about just using Tele (wait, spells aren't capitalized ;) ) teleportation as the base spell, or even requiring dimension door and the enlarge spell feat? Then you are just looking at a 4 or 5th level spell, which would drastically cut down on the cost.
reviewed Eyes of Fear and Fire
Thanks zombie,
shouldn't you be hard at work? Typing up a new module takes a lot of time ;>
I think you've hit the nail right on the head with a few of your points, but I won't explore them in detail, yet.
I like your idea of really replacing the eyes, but at the same time this takes it beyond 1st level in a big way and I don't think it is my way of designing stuff: blood and gore has its uses, but I don't go overboard with them (not at 1st level atleast ;>)
I am all finished on that project. I am just hoping that it's strengths outway it's weaknesses by enough that Joshua will consider using my words again. Unlike my entry for this, it atleast should have good gramar.
As i said, the eyes thing is very much what i would have done with the idea. I can completely get that it isn't your style. That said, it does have deep mythic resonance, which i think a good item should have.
I don't know if you saw it on the KQ8 thread, but congrats on the article by the way, sounds very interesting.
Eyes of Fear and Fire
<TAKE THAT WEBSITE!!! Tried to eat my post again but I copied it before it could do it.
At your request. Sorry this is quick I'm heading out the door. The name tells me your old school. Always loved the monster but never got to use him. The word "frost" threw me for a second but after reading it again I got it. The sentence with the +5 bonus was kind of run on and confusing. No real new effects. I thought I saw mentioned (by the judges) somewhere that skill bonus items were usually kind of boring and in one of those categories that probably didn't make it in. Better luck next year.
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RPG Superstar 2013
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Dedicated Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka Steven T. Helt
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I know you're trying to "help" (and like I said I think it's good advice) but as it is now I think you're advice is coming off as chastisment for his choice. And part of that could be the medium of the conversation (ala no body language).
True enough. And apologies if that's how I'm seen. I just wouldn't want anyone to deny themselves the opportunity to hear what the congregation at large thinks, and of course, anyone can ask that their reply comes from someone specific. I do really think it's up to other people to honor or not honor that as they will. I certainly don't mean to chastise anyone.
Again, I totally have my heart in the right place, even if my words are not so precise.
[
I don't know if you saw it on the KQ8 thread, but congrats on the article by the way, sounds very interesting.
Thank you.
I had this big positive rant but the boards ate it!
Annoying!
Quick paraphrase of that rant:
Keep at it (writing) and you will be published.
Listen to Clark, improve and you will get published.
Do as Clark says: "do do do" (writing, querying, submitting, do all of this).
Quick paraphrase of that rant:
Keep at it (writing) and you will be published.
Listen to Clark, improve and you will get published.
Do as Clark says: "do do do" (writing, querying, submitting, do all of this).
Hey, if you, or anyone else, have a moment, I really would not mind additional kicks in the teeth over my weaknesses with mechanics ;) In seriousness, if you can see other problems with the Amphora's mechanics (other than the two specifically pointed out by Clark), I really would like to hear what they are.
On the 'Do, Do, Do.' I am going to write my first KQ query once I have finished my submissions for the current Pathfinder Society Open Call. The idea that Wolfgang specifically liked the idea has emboldened me a little.
I have the feeling my propensity of role-play opportunity over utility doomed me. Maybe the clockwork raccoon would have done better.. Anyhow, one more for the pile.
Crystal Orb of the Suffering Thoog
Aura moderate divination; CL 8th
Slot —; Price 42,000 gp; Weight 11lb
Description
This crystal sphere is 8 inches in diameter and appears to have a hairless humanoid creature trapped within. The creature is diminutive, eyeless and has vestigial wings on its back that vaguely look like featherless chicken wings. The creature appears to be alive and will shift and contort inside the orb, occasionally making odd gestures with its infant-like limbs. If the orb is separated from its owner or is discarded, it will attempt to follow its owner by rolling on the floor. The orb is surprisingly tenacious when following its owner, albeit slow-moving at 5 feet per round.
Any creature looking directly at the Crystal Orb of the Suffering Thoog will have its thoughts broadcast to the owner (Will DC 19 negates), as spell detect thoughts. This effect can occur more than once at the same time. If the orb's owner is unusually cruel or mistreats the Crystal Orb of the Suffering Thoog, the owner's thoughts are broadcast to everyone with in 60 feet at inopportune times (Will DC19 negates).
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, detect thoughts;
Cost 21,000 gp
For what it's worth, I like the flavor of this item... but it's hard to see what it's good for. I think Clark Peterson has asked with respect to other items, why would a PC want this?, and I think that question applies here too. Okay, yeah, detect thoughts can be handy, but the fact that it only works on creatures looking directly at the orb really limits it, maybe to the point of uselessness.
Plus, mechanically, there are way too many things about it that are subjective and/or hard to adjudicate, or just aren't addressed. How do you tell whether someone is "looking directly at" the orb? Does it work like a gaze attack? How do you determine whether the orb's owner is "unusually cruel", and what constitutes mistreating the orb? When the orb tries to follow its owner, can it sense where he is and how to get there, or can the owner lose the orb by going around a corner? Is the creature actually alive, and if so what are its stats? Is it affected by mind-affecting magic? By death effects? What happens if the orb is broken--is the creature freed, or does it die, or disappear?
I really like the mental image this brings up (world's creepiest hamster ball); the description of the creature is great, and I like the name. This item probably has a place somewhere--but this contest probably wasn't it.
Amphora of Humble Offering
Clark is right, great idea, poor execution equals not getting in.
Grammar, this is your weakness, you know it but only a proofreader can help you with this. And this proofreader needs to know the correct format of mechanics.
It is Will saves not will saves, proper format can be learned by looking at the items as shown at d20srd.org. In this case I would have used: DC 13 Will save, no DC's in parathenses (sp?)
"The Amphora contains enough wine to occupy one creature for 5 minutes."
If you just added in the design what happens when multiple undead are near you would have scored points I believe.
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Hey Clark, please give me feedback on my item.
Trainer’s Manual
Aura faint enchantment; CL 1st
Slot – ; Weight 5 lb.; Price 2,500 gp (+5), 10,000 gp (+10)
Description
This thick tome contains tips on training animals, but entwined within the words is a powerful magical effect. If anyone reads this book, which takes a total of 48 hours over a minimum of six days, he gains a competence bonus from +5 to +10 (depending on the type of manual) to his Handle Animal checks. Once the book is read, the magic disappears from the pages and it becomes a normal book.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, charm animal; Cost 1,250 gp (+5), 5,000 gp (+10)
Hey Clark, please give me feedback on my item.
Trainer’s Manual
Check the spoiler if you want feedback
1) it is a book, this is superstar how?
2) caster level is way off
3) as the book transfers the bonus to the reader I think your costing, though correct in its current form, is off somehow.
Just not terribly exciting
Amphora of Humble Offering
Clark is right, great idea, poor execution equals not getting in.
Grammar, this is your weakness, you know it but only a proofreader can help you with this. And this proofreader needs to know the correct format of mechanics.
It is Will saves not will saves, proper format can be learned by looking at the items as shown at d20srd.org. In this case I would have used: DC 13 Will save, no DC's in parathenses (sp?)
"The Amphora contains enough wine to occupy one creature for 5 minutes."
If you just added in the design what happens when multiple undead are near you would have scored points I believe.
Teaching my proof reader that stuff is not a possiblity, but that is something i can learn, and make a checklist for and just learn through hard damned work and practice.
Speaking of peer feedback, if someone wants to take a whack at my item, feel free...Be honest--it will only help me improve.
Bring it on, Clark! I'm not afraid! (OK, maybe a little)
Amulet of Discord
Aura moderate enchantment; CL 9th
Slot neck; Price 54,000 gp; Weight –This amulet, shaped as a pair of crossed swords, confounds the ability to tell friend from foe.
Any creature within a 30-foot radius attacking the wearer loses the benefit of flanking and must make a Will save (DC 18) if it has an ally in combat. On a failed save, the creature aborts the attack and regards its nearest ally as its enemy, which it immediately attacks if in reach. The new target, upon being attacked and regardless of getting hit, must also succeed at a Will save to avoid the same effect. Any affected creature will follow the target of its ire, heedless of attacks of opportunity. The effect ends immediately upon leaving the 30-foot radius. A creature reentering the area must make a new save if it attacks the wearer, or gets attacked by an affected creature.
Additionally, while merely in its owner’s possession, the amulet provides a –8 luck penalty to all Diplomacy checks in his line of sight. This includes checks made by the owner, as well as by his allies and enemies.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, confusion; Cost 27,000 gp.
Taig,
I redirected here from the "Who's critique is it anyway?" thread.
I really like the idea here: an item that redirects hostility. However, I think that the way in which it is implemented creates some almost insurmountable mechanical problems: you're essentially hijacking a character's decision-making process for an indefinite period of time (until he leaves the radius, which he will only do if his new target leaves), and forcing him to strictly follow a very inflexible course of action (ignoring attacks of opportunity, etc). I think that this would be pretty difficult for a DM to adjudicate, especially when it starts to spread through the "domino" mechanism. It's bad enough when the PCs use something like this against the NPCs; it's even worse when used against the PCs. As a DM, I would never throw this at my players because losing control of your character for any significant length of time is always frustrating and fun-killing.
To phrase this in non-rules terms, your amulet doesn't just confuse people about friend and foe--it converts them into single-minded automatons hell-bent on attacking a particular enemy, mindless of their own personal safety or other considerations of common sense.
I think a better alternative would be to go with a per-attack save: if you attack the wearer, make a save; if you fail your save, your attack gets redirected to another character (chosen randomly from the legal targets available to you). For your next action, you are back in control, unless you decide to try attacking the wearer again. Essentially, you would only become confused if you are acting in an actively hostile manner towards the wearer. You would probably end up hurting your allies quite a bit, but you would still be free to choose your broader course of action.
If you want to keep the feeling of a big, chaotic melee where friend and foe are confused, then apply the per-attack mechanism to all attacks within 30 ft of the amulet, instead of just attacks directed against the wearer. This would still leave individual characters in general control of themselves, but unable to reliably attack the correct targets. This option seems to better fit the "feel" of an "Amulet of Discord," but it also seems less useful than the one I described first.
I like the Diplomacy penalty because it fits the "Discord" theme, but why did you base it on line-of-sight instead of the 30 ft radius? Why two different areas of effect for what amount to two different manifestations of the same effect?
I hope you find all (or at least some) of this useful!
Check the spoiler if you want feedback** spoiler omitted **
I definately want feedback. Thanks Darkjoy. And yes, you are probably very right about a book not being Superstar, but hey you gotta try and this will help me in the next season of Superstar.
What would you think the CL should be?
Well, you do give a +5 bonus, so someone who creates it should at least have 5 ranks = 2nd level. But even then, I feel as if this should be higher.
Contributor
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Star Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 9
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I really like the idea here: an item that redirects hostility. However, I think that the way in which it is implemented creates some almost insurmountable mechanical problems: you're essentially hijacking a character's decision-making process for an indefinite period of time (until he leaves the radius, which he will only do if his new target leaves), and forcing him to strictly follow a very inflexible course of action (ignoring attacks of opportunity, etc). I think that this would be pretty difficult for a DM to adjudicate, especially when it starts to spread through the "domino" mechanism. It's bad enough when the PCs use something like this against the NPCs; it's even worse when used against the PCs. As a DM, I would never throw this at my players because losing control of your character for any significant length of time is always frustrating and fun-killing.
To phrase this in non-rules terms, your amulet doesn't just confuse people about friend and foe--it converts them into single-minded automatons hell-bent on attacking a particular enemy, mindless of their own personal safety or other considerations of common sense.
I think a better alternative would be to go with a per-attack save: if you attack the wearer, make a save; if you fail your save, your attack gets redirected to another character (chosen randomly from the legal targets available to you). For your next action, you are back in control, unless you decide to try attacking the wearer again. Essentially, you would only become confused if you are acting in an actively hostile manner towards the wearer. You would probably end up hurting your allies quite a bit, but you would still be free to choose your broader course of action.
If you want to keep the feeling of a big, chaotic melee where friend and foe are confused, then apply the per-attack mechanism to all attacks within 30 ft of the amulet, instead of just attacks directed against the wearer. This would still leave individual characters in general control of themselves, but unable to reliably attack the correct targets. This option seems to better fit the "feel" of an "Amulet of Discord," but it also seems less useful than the one I described first.
I like the Diplomacy penalty because it fits the "Discord" theme, but why did you base it on line-of-sight instead of the 30 ft radius? Why two different areas of effect for what amount to two different manifestations of the same effect?
I hope you find all (or at least some) of this useful!
Thanks, Lucas! You hit the biggest flaw on the head--I didn't consider a DM using this. I know exactly what you mean about losing control of a character for more than a round. That isn't fun at all. I like your suggestions, and I'd use your first idea if I rewrote this (maybe renaming the item).
I wanted the Diplomacy penalty to be more punitive, because it is more of a "role-playing" penalty. The -8 penalty should be sufficient, and a 30 foot radius is plenty. So, point taken there.
What about just using Tele (wait, spells aren't capitalized ;) ) teleportation as the base spell, or even requiring dimension door and the enlarge spell feat? Then you are just looking at a 4 or 5th level spell, which would drastically cut down on the cost.Nix's Chalk of Endless Ways
Aura strong conjuration (cursed - unreliable); CL 17th
Slot --; Price 160,000gp; Weight --DESCRIPTION
By all appearances just a set of two colored chalk, but when each is used to draw a doorway on a different surface an inky black portal connects the two surfaces similar to a Teleportation Circle. Prior to the portal forming the chalk functions normally and can be wiped away, affected by rain, etc. Once both doorways are drawn, the created portal has a duration of ten minutes and cannot be dispelled. One being may pass through at a time and each sentient being has a cumulative 5% chance of collapsing it. Elemental forces of natural or magical nature will not pass through. Spells cannot be cast through the portal, and line of sight is blocked. Item may be used once per day and must be stored, for eight hours of each day, in a container with chalk powder or it will not function. Chalk is utterly destroyed if two sentient beings of diametrically opposed alignments pass through the same active portal.CONSTRUCTION
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, teleportation circle; Cost 80,000gp
because no other teleport spell has anything other than 'instantaneous' and because of the line under the magic item costing chart that says (If a continuous item has an effect based on a spell with a duration measured in rounds, multiply the cost by 4. If the duration of the spell is 1 minute/level, multiply the cost by 2, and if the duration is 10 minutes/level, multiply the cost by 1.5. If the spell has a 24-hour duration or greater, divide the cost in half.) In that line it does not mention a spell with an instantaneous duration and thus I do not believe a 'instant' spell can be made into a continuous style item.
That was my thinking anyway. Otherwise I'd just make a 'constant fireball' effect with telekinesis and move the giant fireball al lover the battlefield.