Clark, Please Give Me Feedback On My Item!


RPG Superstar™ 2009 General Discussion

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Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

This is a placeholder thread.

Dont post here yet. Not even to say "thanks for doing this" or "you cant wait to get feedback" or "Clark you are so cool, here is a million dollars" (well, maybe that last one is ok). Please leave this thread blank until after the top 32 are announced.

Once the top 32 have been announced, I will open this up for people to post their full item and a request for me to post feedback.

The reason I am posting this placeholder thread now is to prevent people from posting 50 seperate threads each asking to be reviewed. :)

Once the top 32 are announced, I will edit this thread and say that it is open for requests. Until then, please dont post here

Also, please know that if you ask, I will tell you my thoughts. I wont be mean but if there are fatal defects I will point them out, though I will try to do so in a constructive way. So if you ask, please be ready. Also, just like last year I will presume that we will have really good behaviour in the thread. I was impressed with last year. That is why I answered so many questions and why I volunteered to do it again this year. If that changes, I reserve the right to just pull the plug. And finally, I presume I will get alot of requests. I may miss one. I may also not be able to just pop on and review you right away. I'm not ignoring you or forgetting you. I'm just real busy :)

Thank you :)

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

I have one more restriction. Lets wait until the 21st to post here. I think the 20th should be reserved for the top 32, not turn into a flood of talking about items that didnt advance. That just seems appropriately respectful. I ask everyone to respect that limit please. :)

Honor to the top 32 first, then spirited discussion of why other entries didnt succeed.

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

By the way, dont freak out if I seem like I am not around for the next few days--because I am real busy IRL. So if it takes a day or two or three or till Saturday for me to start really providing feedback, dont worry. Its just life intruding on 24/7 gaming. :) I was a slow starter reviewing the "also ran" items, but as you can see I got to as many as possible.

Also, I may not comment on every one. Or I may give just a short comment. I'll try to pick items for longer comments that I think really represent a common problem or issue. I dont do that to call anyone out or criticize anyone. And please dont take it that way.

Ok, starting 12 pm PST, feel free to post. Not sure how many or how fast I will get to them right away, but I will do my best.

Clark

Dark Archive Star Voter Season 6

Please give feedback, thanks:

BLANKSCROLL
Aura moderate divination; CL 9th
Slot --; Price 2,750 gp; Weight --

DESCRIPTION
A blankscroll looks like a regular sheet of fine vellum with nothing written on it. In fact, any attempt to write on it simply fails as if the surface were not writable. Once per year, however, a question can be asked to the scroll and magical writings will appear on it providing the answer.
A blankscroll will answer any question in the most accurate way possible using a maximum of five words in the same language used by the character asking the question (or Common if the language does not have a written form). This means a question requiring a long answer might only be partially answered.
The answer will remain visible on the blankscroll throughout a whole year, after which the writings will disappear and a new question can be asked.

CONSTRUCTION
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, commune, comprehend languages; Cost 1,625 gp


It's 12pm on the 21st already?

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

No, it isnt. :)

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

DarienCR wrote:

Please give feedback, thanks:

BLANKSCROLL
Aura moderate divination; CL 9th
Slot --; Price 2,750 gp; Weight --

DESCRIPTION
A blankscroll looks like a regular sheet of fine vellum with nothing written on it. In fact, any attempt to write on it simply fails as if the surface were not writable. Once per year, however, a question can be asked to the scroll and magical writings will appear on it providing the answer.
A blankscroll will answer any question in the most accurate way possible using a maximum of five words in the same language used by the character asking the question (or Common if the language does not have a written form). This means a question requiring a long answer might only be partially answered.
The answer will remain visible on the blankscroll throughout a whole year, after which the writings will disappear and a new question can be asked.

CONSTRUCTION
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, commune, comprehend languages; Cost 1,625 gp

Here were my comments [with some editing so as not to hurt feelings]:

Once per year you get a five-word commune? Who wants this item? Am I missing something here?

Plus, look at cost. This is essentially a commune scroll (though it seems it gives 5 word answers more than commune's one word answer or maybe up to 5 words), which would otherwise cost you 1125gp (a 5th level spell scroll). This item lets you use the spell once per year, so I guess he just bumped the cost up to 1650gp which is the price of a scroll of a 6th level spell. A commune scroll, however, would let you ask 1 question per caster level, which would mean as a 5th level spell you get 9 yes/no questions from the scroll, while this thing is just one question.

Why in the world would I pay more for this item when I could just buy a commune scroll for 500 gp less--a savings of 1/3 the price of the item--and get 8 more questions (granted, they are yes/no and not 5 word answers) in one day?

Vote Reject.

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

Oh alright, bring 'em on. Who needs sleep...

Sovereign Court

I'm going to go ahead and post this before I go to bed. I was trying to wait up, but the timezone difference is killing me. Plus I am not the first, so I don't feel quite as bad. Obviously, I don't expect an answer right away, so feel free to take your time. I just really appreciate any feedback. Be brutally honest. I can take it, and 'going easy on me' isn't doing me any favors, you know. ;)

Thanks again!

Tao wrote:

Myrrh Egg of Ashes

Aura strong conjuration; CL 18th
Slot Neck; Price 82,000 gp; Weight -

Description

This reddish-brown egg, believed to be that of a phoenix, is about the size of a human fist and hangs from a golden chain. Warm to the touch, the egg glows a golden color (shedding light as a torch) and functions as a holy symbol for good aligned characters. Additionally, three times per day she may empower any Conjuration (healing) or Fire spells as through the Empower Spell metamagic feat.

If the wearer of the Myrrh Egg is killed by an attack that deals fire damage, the egg shatters and she is immediately resurrected as a divine being. She is treated as an outsider for the purpose of spells and effects, gains resistance against fire 10, and can cast Produce Flame as a spell-like ability. If she is killed in this form, her body immediately disappears and a Myrrh Egg of Ashes is left in its place. Unlike other outsiders, she can be resurrected using the Myrrh Egg of Ashes in place of her remains.

Constructionp

Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Empower Spell, burning hands, protection from energy, resurrection; Cost 41,000

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

Tao wrote:

Myrrh Egg of Ashes

Aura strong conjuration; CL 18th
Slot Neck; Price 82,000 gp; Weight -

Description

This reddish-brown egg, believed to be that of a phoenix, is about the size of a human fist and hangs from a golden chain. Warm to the touch, the egg glows a golden color (shedding light as a torch) and functions as a holy symbol for good aligned characters. Additionally, three times per day she may empower any Conjuration (healing) or Fire spells as through the Empower Spell metamagic feat.

If the wearer of the Myrrh Egg is killed by an attack that deals fire damage, the egg shatters and she is immediately resurrected as a divine being. She is treated as an outsider for the purpose of spells and effects, gains resistance against fire 10, and can cast Produce Flame as a spell-like ability. If she is killed in this form, her body immediately disappears and a Myrrh Egg of Ashes is left in its place. Unlike other outsiders, she can be resurrected using the Myrrh Egg of Ashes in place of her remains.

Constructionp

Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Empower Spell, burning hands, protection from energy, resurrection; Cost 41,000

Nope. No waiting. I'm a machine.

Here are my comments:

[after initial concerns from Wolfgang about it being too good and the outsider stuff being permanent]

"Wow, I like this item. It is totally ridiculous, of course. But I like it. I agree the outsider properties are permanent. Is there a reason you dont simply ask your mage buddy to kill you with a fireball to get those benefits? I mean, you dont seem to lose anything by dying. Seems too abusable. What does this mean, though: "Unlike other outsiders, she can be resurrected using the Myrrh Egg of Ashes in place of her remains"?"

[then later after some discussion with Wolf over its abusability and what the above quote means, I said:]

"I'll reject it. Its the abusability that kills it for me. Too bad, too (once again, I am saying that this year)."

[I will say that though it was rejected, Wolf did note: "Inclined to pass, though I think this designer could have some potential."]

Scarab Sages RPG Superstar 2011 Top 32 , Dedicated Voter Season 6 aka Eyebite

I think I know some of the reasons this item didn't make the cut. I'm still really interested in a review though. Thanks Clark!

Bloodletter’s Garnet Leeches
Aura moderate conjuration and transmutation; CL 11th
Slot -; Weight -; Price 22,500 gp
Description
These figurines always appear in pairs and are usually found floating inside of a crystalline vial in a mixture of humours. Crafted from garnet slivers approximately 3 inches in length, the leeches mewl and squirm to life in a puddle of viscous slime when the command word is uttered. The leeches can be used to drain impurities from blood and mend torn flesh, with effects identical to a heal spell, usable once per week per leech. Further, the leeches can grow to gigantic proportions, with statistics identical to dire weasels (except maximum hit points and capable of swimming at a speed of 20 ft.). The leeches may be used like this once per day for up to 2 hours each and fully obey their owner. If a leech is used to drain either poison or disease from someone‘s blood, it retains that poison or disease and may infect one creature with its next successful blood drain attack. If slain, a leech cannot be animated again for one week.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, 11th-level cleric, animate objects, contagion, heal; Cost 11,250 gp


If you're opening the floodgates... I'd love to get some feedback. :)

Breathkeeping Scarab

Aura faint illusion and moderate evocation; CL 7th
Slot –; Price 63,000 gp; Weight

DESCRIPTION

This jeweled scarab can house a creature’s living breath. It opens on hidden hinges with a move (manipulation) action. A creature may transfer their breath into an opened scarab as a swift action. Alternatively, if the bearer succeeds on the saving throw offered by a breath weapon by 5 or more, he may trap it in an opened scarab as an immediate action. This negates the breath’s other effects that round. A scarab closes upon trapping a creature’s breath, but buzzes and clicks as if alive.

While a creature’s breath is trapped, it does not breathe. It is immune to suffocation, drowning and inhaled dangers, but cannot use breath weapons or the scent ability.

The victim’s breath returns immediately if the scarab is opened or destroyed. If a breath weapon was trapped, it releases in a random direction with the original range, save DC and effects.

Breathkeeping scarabs can only be destroyed by disintegrate, a rod of cancellation or negation, or a targeted dispel magic.

CONSTRUCTION

Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, ghost sound, resilient sphere; Skill Craft (gem cutting); Cost 31,500 gp

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

Eyebite wrote:

I think I know some of the reasons this item didn't make the cut. I'm still really interested in a review though. Thanks Clark!

Bloodletter’s Garnet Leeches
Aura moderate conjuration and transmutation; CL 11th
Slot -; Weight -; Price 22,500 gp
Description
These figurines always appear in pairs and are usually found floating inside of a crystalline vial in a mixture of humours. Crafted from garnet slivers approximately 3 inches in length, the leeches mewl and squirm to life in a puddle of viscous slime when the command word is uttered. The leeches can be used to drain impurities from blood and mend torn flesh, with effects identical to a heal spell, usable once per week per leech. Further, the leeches can grow to gigantic proportions, with statistics identical to dire weasels (except maximum hit points and capable of swimming at a speed of 20 ft.). The leeches may be used like this once per day for up to 2 hours each and fully obey their owner. If a leech is used to drain either poison or disease from someone‘s blood, it retains that poison or disease and may infect one creature with its next successful blood drain attack. If slain, a leech cannot be animated again for one week.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, 11th-level cleric, animate objects, contagion, heal; Cost 11,250 gp

These were interesting!!! But mostly because they were wierd. My comments were pretty short. Sean posted much longer comments, but I dont want to speak for him (though I will summarize). Here is what I said:

"Heal in a can. A cool can, yes. But still a can. A meh item covered in wierd sauce to get our attention.

Reject."

Sean, as is usual for him, had some real great mechanics questions with the item. The item was unclear on its use. Do you remove the leech from its vial? What action is it to grow them? Why max hp?

And I didnt like the cleric requirement for creation. YOu can have a cleric buddy cast the necessary spells. Sean wisely pointed this out and I felt the same.

Sovereign Court

Clark Peterson wrote:

Nope. No waiting. I'm a machine.

Here are my comments:

[after initial concerns from Wolfgang about it being too good and the outsider stuff being permanent]

"Wow, I like this item. It is totally ridiculous, of course. But I like it. I agree the outsider properties are permanent. Is there a reason you dont simply ask your mage buddy to kill you with a fireball to get those benefits? I mean, you dont seem to lose anything by dying. Seems too abusable. What does this mean, though: "Unlike other outsiders, she can be resurrected using the Myrrh Egg of Ashes in place of her remains"?"

[then later after some discussion with Wolf over its abusability and what the above quote means, I said:]

"I'll reject it. Its the abusability that kills it for me. Too bad, too (once again, I am saying that this year)."

[I will say that though it was rejected, Wolf did note: "Inclined to pass, though I think this designer could have some potential."]

Bummer. I was afraid that was unclear. The intention was that you lost the "first set" of powers when you gained the second, and that being resurrected "from the egg" reset it back to your original form.

It definitely taught me the limits to complexity when working within a tight word budget though. If nothing else, that was worth the experience.

Thanks again for your feedback. That definitely helped, and now I can have a good night's sleep without beating myself up over it anymore. I guess I won't "throw in the towel and find a real job" after all. ;)


Ok, Clark let me have it. Please don’t sugarcoat the critic I got thick skin... Well no I don't but I want to learn and since I have to type any replies we don't have to worry about how PC it will be.
Thanks!

Scabbard of Random Empowerment
Aura Moderate transmutation; CL 9th
Slot —; Price 22,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.

Description
This scabbard has a metal exterior that is heavily decorated. The images and symbols depict both elements of chance as well as the powers the scabbard can bestow. The scabbard will resize to fit any knife, axe, dagger, sword, or similar weapon up to and including a greatsword. Up to three times per day on command, the scabbard randomly imbues a special ability on the weapon it holds. Activation also triggers any command word of the ability if needed. Touching the scabbard allows the wielder to know what ability is currently imbued. The ability lasts for 15 minutes or until willed to end. Only one ability can be sustained by the scabbard at a time. Identically abilities tempory or otherwise do not stack. This Item will not function for weapons with an effective Weapon Bonus of +10.

d% Temporary Special Ability
01–05 Bane (rolled randomly)
06–16 Flaming
17–27 Frost
38–48 Shock
49–59 Ghost touch
60–73 Merciful
74–84 Throwing
85–95 Thundering
96–100 Vicious
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Greater Magic Weapon; Cost 11,000 gp

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

Chris_Johnston wrote:

If you're opening the floodgates... I'd love to get some feedback. :)

Breathkeeping Scarab

Aura faint illusion and moderate evocation; CL 7th
Slot –; Price 63,000 gp; Weight

DESCRIPTION

This jeweled scarab can house a creature’s living breath. It opens on hidden hinges with a move (manipulation) action. A creature may transfer their breath into an opened scarab as a swift action. Alternatively, if the bearer succeeds on the saving throw offered by a breath weapon by 5 or more, he may trap it in an opened scarab as an immediate action. This negates the breath’s other effects that round. A scarab closes upon trapping a creature’s breath, but buzzes and clicks as if alive.

While a creature’s breath is trapped, it does not breathe. It is immune to suffocation, drowning and inhaled dangers, but cannot use breath weapons or the scent ability.

The victim’s breath returns immediately if the scarab is opened or destroyed. If a breath weapon was trapped, it releases in a random direction with the original range, save DC and effects.

Breathkeeping scarabs can only be destroyed by disintegrate, a rod of cancellation or negation, or a targeted dispel magic.

CONSTRUCTION

Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, ghost sound, resilient sphere; Skill Craft (gem cutting); Cost 31,500 gp

Oh man, another good one. This one had a TON of discussion.

I think we all liked the core concept, but it was the execution that got you and the fact that the item didnt seem well thought through.

I wrote:

"Oh this was so great until the breathweapon thing. I dont want my dragons to have their breath weapons ended by a little scarab. I mean, I like that it can trap a breath weapon and I like that it can trap breath. What I dont like is that the creature then cannot breathe. I think that should only work on the bearer. If a breath weapon is trapped it shouldnt stop that creature from breathing."

Sean made some great points that I agreed with. We all thought it was way too good at dealing with breath weapon monsters and thought there was a disconnect in that it didnt account for the power of teh monster with the breathweapon.

I ended with:

"Sean, I feel the same way you do. Its too bad because there is a gem in there. They just did too much with it."

And with that it was rejected.

Scarab Sages RPG Superstar 2011 Top 32 , Dedicated Voter Season 6 aka Eyebite

Clark Peterson wrote:
Eyebite wrote:

I think I know some of the reasons this item didn't make the cut. I'm still really interested in a review though. Thanks Clark!

Bloodletter’s Garnet Leeches
Aura moderate conjuration and transmutation; CL 11th
Slot -; Weight -; Price 22,500 gp
Description
These figurines always appear in pairs and are usually found floating inside of a crystalline vial in a mixture of humours. Crafted from garnet slivers approximately 3 inches in length, the leeches mewl and squirm to life in a puddle of viscous slime when the command word is uttered. The leeches can be used to drain impurities from blood and mend torn flesh, with effects identical to a heal spell, usable once per week per leech. Further, the leeches can grow to gigantic proportions, with statistics identical to dire weasels (except maximum hit points and capable of swimming at a speed of 20 ft.). The leeches may be used like this once per day for up to 2 hours each and fully obey their owner. If a leech is used to drain either poison or disease from someone‘s blood, it retains that poison or disease and may infect one creature with its next successful blood drain attack. If slain, a leech cannot be animated again for one week.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, 11th-level cleric, animate objects, contagion, heal; Cost 11,250 gp

These were interesting!!! But mostly because they were wierd. My comments were pretty short. Sean posted much longer comments, but I dont want to speak for him (though I will summarize). Here is what I said:

"Heal in a can. A cool can, yes. But still a can. A meh item covered in wierd sauce to get our attention.

Reject."

Sean, as is usual for him, had some real great mechanics questions with the item. The item was unclear on its use. Do you remove the leech from its vial? What action is it to grow them? Why max hp?

And I didnt like the cleric requirement for creation. YOu can have a cleric...

Very insightful, and much appreciated! Thank you!

Grand Lodge Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8

Here's an item with spark! Though not, perhaps, the sort that was wanted:

FIREFLINT OF DAZZLE AND SMOKE
Aura faint transmutation; CL 5th
Slot —; Price 16,800 gp*; Weight

Description

Once per day, as a standard action, the user can strike a spark with this hard, angular, dark gray stone, setting himself alight. A brilliant white flame entirely consumes the user and all items that he carries within seconds, producing a coil of smoke that flows away with magical swiftness.
Anyone within 60 feet, except the user, must make a Fortitude save (DC 14) or be blinded for 1d4+1 rounds. Creatures who succeed in a save, protect their vision before the item activates or are more than 60 feet away are not blinded but cannot see the smoke's movement due to the dazzling light.
The user may fly up to 90 feet in smoke form as a free action (+4 to Fly checks) and can pass through small openings as a vapor. At the end of this action he returns to normal form.

Construction

Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, pyrotechnics, gaseous form; Skill Craft (alchemy); Cost 8,400 gp*

* Double cost since the item's combined effect exceeds either prerequisite spell.


Clark Peterson wrote:

Oh man, another good one. This one had a TON of discussion.

I think we all liked the core concept, but it was the execution that got you and the fact that the item didnt seem well thought through.

I wrote:

"Oh this was so great until the breathweapon thing. I dont want my dragons to have their breath weapons ended by a little scarab. I mean, I like that it can trap a breath weapon and I like that it can trap breath. What I dont like is that the creature then cannot breathe. I think that should only work on the bearer. If a breath weapon is trapped it shouldnt stop that...

Sigh... I guess trying to make a new template was a little too ambitious for a wondrous item. Thank you very much for the feedback, and for taking the time to do this! You RAWK!

There's always next year!

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

Daren Nightborn wrote:

Ok, Clark let me have it. Please don’t sugarcoat the critic I got thick skin... Well no I don't but I want to learn and since I have to type any replies we don't have to worry about how PC it will be.

Thanks!

Scabbard of Random Empowerment
Aura Moderate transmutation; CL 9th
Slot —; Price 22,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.

Description
This scabbard has a metal exterior that is heavily decorated. The images and symbols depict both elements of chance as well as the powers the scabbard can bestow. The scabbard will resize to fit any knife, axe, dagger, sword, or similar weapon up to and including a greatsword. Up to three times per day on command, the scabbard randomly imbues a special ability on the weapon it holds. Activation also triggers any command word of the ability if needed. Touching the scabbard allows the wielder to know what ability is currently imbued. The ability lasts for 15 minutes or until willed to end. Only one ability can be sustained by the scabbard at a time. Identically abilities tempory or otherwise do not stack. This Item will not function for weapons with an effective Weapon Bonus of +10.

d% Temporary Special Ability
01–05 Bane (rolled randomly)
06–16 Flaming
17–27 Frost
38–48 Shock
49–59 Ghost touch
60–73 Merciful
74–84 Throwing
85–95 Thundering
96–100 Vicious
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Greater Magic Weapon; Cost 11,000 gp

OK.... if you really want to hear...

My comments were short and sweet. This was a pure reject all the way:

"Ah, the random power item! Always a classic! But not a hallmark of superstar design, which we commented on multiple times last year as well. And as a result, a reject from me."

It was agreed and nuked right away.

While I didnt say this in the judges forum, I will say now:

Giving out random buffs is just not a hallmark of good design. One of the few real holdovers is the wand of wonder and it is a bit anachronistic and maybe survives because it is the sort of throw back item that represents that old school of design that is pretty much conceded to be bad. Plus, so many old players have funny stories about low level PCs and wands of wonder that they random effect magic item has its place.

This one is also just kind of a swiss army knife grab bag of pimpy stuff that PCs would want. Its not very tightly designed.

Move away from random powers is my suggestion to you.


Ok Clark, let me have it (at your convenience, of course)...And as noted above, don't spare the rod. While I have no professional design credits, I have done some freelance writing in the past and have faced some pretty barbed arrows. (I have a natural armor bonus of +5.) :)

Wyrm’s Tooth Fetish of the High Kobold

Aura faint illusion; CL 3rd
Slot none; Price 3200gp ; Weight -

Description
This impressive fang was taken from the maw of a recently deceased young or juvenile chromatic dragon. Worn by high ranking kobold tribe members, the Wyrm’s Tooth is a piercing that is often a component of kobold rituals. The Wyrm’s Tooth can be activated by a command word in Draconic only after being implanted as a piercing, which deals 1-2 points of damage.
The wearer gains the ability to Speak with Reptiles twice per day. This ability functions as per the spell Speak with Animals, but is only effective with reptilian animals. Also twice per day, the wearer may use Ventriloquism normally as per the spell, but also gains the ability to make his voice sound like a dragon.
Finally, if the piercing is visible and the wearer is a non-kobold, he gains a +4 bonus on intimidate checks made against kobolds. A kobold wearing the Wyrm’s Tooth gains a +4 bonus on bluff, diplomacy and intimidate checks against other kobolds.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Ghost Sound, Speak with Animals, Ventriloquism; Cost 1600 gp

RPG Superstar 2011 Top 32 aka Gamer Girrl

NIGHT GUARD

Aura faint abjuration and good; CL 5th
Slot –; Weight 1 lb.; Price 3,500 gp or 10,500 gp, see below

DESCRIPTION
This small, silver face of the goddess of the night hangs on a braided silver cord. Silver hair, threaded with glass-like beads, culminates in minute, silver bells. Once attuned to its current owner, the beads change to the color of his birthstone.

Designed to protect children from night horrors, it guards its owner when hung from a bedpost or a 2' pole at the head of a sleeping pallet, as protection from evil. As an evil creature prepares to attack, a silent alarm “pings” in the sleeper’s head, waking him and negating being flat-footed for that round. The protection lasts for one “sleep” of eight hours, and may only be used once per day (24-hour period).

Adventurers have created an Improved version of the night guard, covering a ten-foot radius from the hanging post, as magic circle against evil. All within the area of protection will hear the silent alarm before an attack.

***

Now, let me see if I can guess a few of the things I did wrong ... (1) camping/sleep item and (2) abusable with the Improved Version?

I didn't think of abuse, since you still need your normal sleep (it doesn't preclude that), doesn't allow sleeping in armor, and it only works against an evil that is about to attack, leaving all the bugs and night animals (neutrals or non-aligned) free for chomping on campers.

The idea came to with the villain I was going to do (and now seeing the rules wouldn't have been able to, as it used a template from Green Ronin's [u]Advanced Beastiary[/u]) as well as my reaction to the nasty li'l goblins from Rise of the Runelords 1 and their targeting kids ::shudder::

But, I do want to hear what I goofed on, Clark. Thanks!


Oh, we are doing this already (and it's 21st here, at least, so...)

Torment of Wisdom

Aura Strong necromancy; CL 17
Slot - Price 90,000 gp Weight -

Description:
This thin obsidian needle, three to five inches long, is used to store souls of the dead. One needle can hold one soul, and to capture the soul it must be inserted to a corpse less than one day dead; the soul so captured is released only if the needle is destroyed or dispelled, or if the item is not used for ten years.
Thrusting the needle to a living body deals one point of piercing damage initially, and after this it deals one point of negative energy damage every round until removed. The person who has inserted the needle into his body can communicate with the captured soul, who retains all the knowledge, memories and personality it had while living and can learn new things through these communications. More than one needle can be inserted at the same time, and this allows the souls to communicate also with each other.
Some treat these items as sacred relics containing souls of revered ancestors, while others see them as sacrilegious abominations.

Construction:
Requirements Craft Wondrous Items, Soul Bind, Speak With Dead; Cost 45,000 gp

Spell names capitalized, and it's more an adventure item than basic set item, what are the other problems?

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

Starglim wrote:

Here's an item with spark! Though not, perhaps, the sort that was wanted:

FIREFLINT OF DAZZLE AND SMOKE
Aura faint transmutation; CL 5th
Slot —; Price 16,800 gp*; Weight

Description

Once per day, as a standard action, the user can strike a spark with this hard, angular, dark gray stone, setting himself alight. A brilliant white flame entirely consumes the user and all items that he carries within seconds, producing a coil of smoke that flows away with magical swiftness.
Anyone within 60 feet, except the user, must make a Fortitude save (DC 14) or be blinded for 1d4+1 rounds. Creatures who succeed in a save, protect their vision before the item activates or are more than 60 feet away are not blinded but cannot see the smoke's movement due to the dazzling light.
The user may fly up to 90 feet in smoke form as a free action (+4 to Fly checks) and can pass through small openings as a vapor. At the end of this action he returns to normal form.

Construction

Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, pyrotechnics, gaseous form; Skill Craft (alchemy); Cost 8,400 gp*

* Double cost since the item's combined effect exceeds either prerequisite spell.

Well, I dont know that I want to post everything I wrote. I was kinda cranky on this one. It was late...

But I think it was collectively felt that this was a bit munchkin. Some liked the fire form. One judge noted it was undercosted "to the point of munchkinism and abuse of the spells he claims for its construction" and that it "should include blindness in its construction line, at a minimum."

I was less reserved. We had just had a string of real sucky items and yours came on the tail end. Did that influence me? Maybe. I dont think so. But I'm only human. Here is the nice stuff:

"Are you kidding me? Blinding, Hiding, Flying, Gaseous form. Hey, maybe it can heal you too and buff your sword to a flaming sword! This is a little too much."

Sorry about that.

I did admit in my comments:

"I dont know. Maybe I will stop reviewing tonite and come back at it tomorrow. I have a funny feeling the problem is me..."

And I did come back to it and I still felt the same. Its just that the otehr judges also had cost issues and problems with the description as well and had already rejected it.

In the calm light of day (or the slightly less sleep deprived view of late night) I will say your item didnt deserve the abuse I gave it. I dont know that I fully appreciated its limits. You only get that one round of action, it doesnt last long. I dont know that was as clear as it should have been but I'm not sure how you make it clearer other than to put it earlier in the description. And though I didnt realize it at the time, I think when you say the "flame entirely consumes the user and all items that he carries," I think you arent just describing a visual effect and that you actually mean it burns up all his equipment he is wearing. With that limitation, I wouldnt have been so harsh.

That said, and my crankiness aside, the other judges had already nuked it for similar issues (though they were nicer about it because they are both nicer than me).

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Drape of Shambling

This sickly green cloak smells faintly of garbage and feels somewhat slimy to touch. It was created by the druids from The Third Veil as a help in infiltrating towns and settlements.

On command, the cloak causes the wearer and his possessions to transform into an immobile mound of disgusting, rotting organic refuse. The wearer retains his senses and speech, he is also immune to extra damage from critical hits, mind-affecting spells and abilities, poison, sleep, paralysis, stunning and polymorphing. The mound’s size matches that of the wearer. As long as a small part of the mound remains intact, the wearer may revert back to original shape. The cloak works for a total of up to 12 hours per day. This duration need not be continuous.

Strong transmutation; CL 12th; Craft Wondrous Item, creator must have access to the Wild shape (plant) ability; Price 60,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.

Star Voter Season 9

Thanks for doing this Clark. Here's my submission. Feel free to give me the unvarnished truth.

Leech of Lethe's Bliss

Aura moderate conjuration and enchantment; CL 11th
Slot —; Price 6,600 gp; Weight 1/2 lb.

DESCRIPTION
Healer and killer alike prize this translucent leech for its ability to suck out memories from eyes that have seen too much.
Allowing the leech to attach to the eyelids of a willing or helpless subject immediately eliminates all memory of the last hour (as modify memory). In addition, it restores any decrease to Intelligence and Charisma from casting contact other plane. Finally, it ends any and all of the following conditions: confused, feebleminded, and insanity. Once the leech has been used for the third time, it dissolves into river water. Despite its superficial resemblance to mundane bloodsuckers, the leech of Lethe’s bliss is not considered to be a creature for any purpose.

CONSTRUCTION
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, heal, modify memory; Skill Profession (apothecary); Cost 3,300 gp

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

The Earl of Sandwich wrote:

Ok Clark, let me have it (at your convenience, of course)...And as noted above, don't spare the rod. While I have no professional design credits, I have done some freelance writing in the past and have faced some pretty barbed arrows. (I have a natural armor bonus of +5.) :)

Wyrm’s Tooth Fetish of the High Kobold

Aura faint illusion; CL 3rd
Slot none; Price 3200gp ; Weight -

Description
This impressive fang was taken from the maw of a recently deceased young or juvenile chromatic dragon. Worn by high ranking kobold tribe members, the Wyrm’s Tooth is a piercing that is often a component of kobold rituals. The Wyrm’s Tooth can be activated by a command word in Draconic only after being implanted as a piercing, which deals 1-2 points of damage.
The wearer gains the ability to Speak with Reptiles twice per day. This ability functions as per the spell Speak with Animals, but is only effective with reptilian animals. Also twice per day, the wearer may use Ventriloquism normally as per the spell, but also gains the ability to make his voice sound like a dragon.
Finally, if the piercing is visible and the wearer is a non-kobold, he gains a +4 bonus on intimidate checks made against kobolds. A kobold wearing the Wyrm’s Tooth gains a +4 bonus on bluff, diplomacy and intimidate checks against other kobolds.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Ghost Sound, Speak with Animals, Ventriloquism; Cost 1600 gp

Well, ok, shoot. I dont want to say this one. I think this item was perhaps percieved as a bit of a suck up item to a certain kobold loving judge. Not saying it was. Just saying that got it eyed with a bit of suspicion.

But beyond that, I think the general consensus was that this is an item the PCs sell at half price and forget about. Really, this one seemed like a very kobold-campaign-specific item that would be great perhaps in a kobold themed adventure, but not so much as a superstar wondrous item.


Clark Peterson wrote:


OK.... if you really want to hear...

My comments were short and sweet. This was a pure reject all the way:

"Ah, the random power item! Always a classic! But not a hallmark of superstar design, which we commented on multiple times last year as well. And as a result, a reject from me."

It was agreed and nuked right away.

While I didnt say this in the judges forum, I will say now:

Giving out random buffs is just not a hallmark of good design. One of the few real holdovers is the wand of wonder and it is a bit anachronistic and maybe survives because it is the sort of throw back item that represents...

The funny thing is I am not an old school player I didn’t start until 3.0. I just really love random things. I was shooting for an Item that would almost always give you a damage buff but you didn’t really know what kind. I did see though that random was not a fav of the judges but alas it was too late. It’s a shame to because I really think I did my homework on the villain.

Anyway Clark thank you for taking your time you are a monster on the forums and put in so much time and effort really driving this community just from what I have seen in the past few weeks. I hope this gets you some form of monetary incentive… LOL

Scarab Sages RPG Superstar 2011 Top 32 , Dedicated Voter Season 6 aka Eyebite

Meds wrote:

Thanks for doing this Clark. Here's my submission. Feel free to give me the unvarnished truth.

Leech of Lethe's Bliss

Alright, another leech item! Great minds and all Meds. :)

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

Gamer Girrl wrote:

NIGHT GUARD

Aura faint abjuration and good; CL 5th
Slot –; Weight 1 lb.; Price 3,500 gp or 10,500 gp, see below

DESCRIPTION
This small, silver face of the goddess of the night hangs on a braided silver cord. Silver hair, threaded with glass-like beads, culminates in minute, silver bells. Once attuned to its current owner, the beads change to the color of his birthstone.

Designed to protect children from night horrors, it guards its owner when hung from a bedpost or a 2' pole at the head of a sleeping pallet, as protection from evil. As an evil creature prepares to attack, a silent alarm “pings” in the sleeper’s head, waking him and negating being flat-footed for that round. The protection lasts for one “sleep” of eight hours, and may only be used once per day (24-hour period).

Adventurers have created an Improved version of the night guard, covering a ten-foot radius from the hanging post, as magic circle against evil. All within the area of protection will hear the silent alarm before an attack.

***

Now, let me see if I can guess a few of the things I did wrong ... (1) camping/sleep item and (2) abusable with the Improved Version?

I didn't think of abuse, since you still need your normal sleep (it doesn't preclude that), doesn't allow sleeping in armor, and it only works against an evil that is about to attack, leaving all the bugs and night animals (neutrals or non-aligned) free for chomping on campers.

The idea came to with the villain I was going to do (and now seeing the rules wouldn't have been able to, as it used a template from Green Ronin's [u]Advanced Beastiary[/u]) as well as my reaction to the nasty li'l goblins from Rise of the Runelords 1 and their targeting kids ::shudder::

But, I do want to hear what I goofed on, Clark. Thanks!

Lets check it out!!!

Well, I think perhaps you got the wrong god for this. But beyond that, your item was pretty much dismissed as a camping item, and on top of that one that requires attunement (which is a peeve of some judges).

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

Daren Nightborn wrote:
Anyway Clark thank you for taking your time you are a monster on the forums and put in so much time and effort really driving this community just from what I have seen in the past few weeks. I hope this gets you some form of monetary incentive… LOL

HAH! I wish...

Now that you mention it, I am going to call Mona tomorrow.


Meds wrote:

Thanks for doing this Clark. Here's my submission. Feel free to give me the unvarnished truth.

Leech of Lethe's Bliss

Aura moderate conjuration and enchantment; CL 11th
Slot —; Price 6,600 gp; Weight 1/2 lb.

DESCRIPTION
Healer and killer alike prize this translucent leech for its ability to suck out memories from eyes that have seen too much.
Allowing the leech to attach to the eyelids of a willing or helpless subject immediately eliminates all memory of the last hour (as modify memory). In addition, it restores any decrease to Intelligence and Charisma from casting contact other plane. Finally, it ends any and all of the following conditions: confused, feebleminded, and insanity. Once the leech has been used for the third time, it dissolves into river water. Despite its superficial resemblance to mundane bloodsuckers, the leech of Lethe’s bliss is not considered to be a creature for any purpose.

CONSTRUCTION
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, heal, modify memory; Skill Profession (apothecary); Cost 3,300 gp

This is a really cool item, but I just realized that you need to be a cleric 11/bard 10 to craft it. o_O

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

Meds wrote:

Thanks for doing this Clark. Here's my submission. Feel free to give me the unvarnished truth.

Leech of Lethe's Bliss

Aura moderate conjuration and enchantment; CL 11th
Slot —; Price 6,600 gp; Weight 1/2 lb.

DESCRIPTION
Healer and killer alike prize this translucent leech for its ability to suck out memories from eyes that have seen too much.
Allowing the leech to attach to the eyelids of a willing or helpless subject immediately eliminates all memory of the last hour (as modify memory). In addition, it restores any decrease to Intelligence and Charisma from casting contact other plane. Finally, it ends any and all of the following conditions: confused, feebleminded, and insanity. Once the leech has been used for the third time, it dissolves into river water. Despite its superficial resemblance to mundane bloodsuckers, the leech of Lethe’s bliss is not considered to be a creature for any purpose.

CONSTRUCTION
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, heal, modify memory; Skill Profession (apothecary); Cost 3,300 gp

Here we go...

Initially with yours I got hung up on a side issue. Of course, this shows how insane we are...here is what I mean. Here is my FIRST post:

"I'm hung up on these. I like what they do. Cool idea. But kind of a corner case. Not really that likely to come up. But that is a side issue.

I think these are creatures. I dont think this is an item. I know, the "item" has a line that says "this is not a creature." But is it? Yes, magic creatures. I would have been much better had they been stones that, when activated, become leechlike and [the rest follows form]. I'm really hung up on this creature thing. Answer this if you can--if it isnt a creature, then what is it?"

So, here we are as judges. We have literally hundreds and hundreds of items to review and we have a discussion about whether these are creatures or whatever. Sean chimes in, Wolf posts, I answer, back and forth. That is how much we put into this.

Then I start to come around:

"The more I think about this, the more I come to like it."

One of the other judges thought this might be the best of the several modify memory items that we got this year.

Now I wont say if you were top 62 or not, but lets say that your item stuck around for a long while before failing to make the top 32. How about that?

Star Voter Season 9

Chris_Johnston wrote:
Meds wrote:

Leech of Lethe's Bliss[snip/]

This is a really cool item, but I just realized that you need to be a cleric 11/bard 10 to craft it. o_O

Thanks Chris! Yes, totally agree. (Or, more likely, a very good apothecary.)

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

Gorbacz wrote:

Drape of Shambling

This sickly green cloak smells faintly of garbage and feels somewhat slimy to touch. It was created by the druids from The Third Veil as a help in infiltrating towns and settlements.

On command, the cloak causes the wearer and his possessions to transform into an immobile mound of disgusting, rotting organic refuse. The wearer retains his senses and speech, he is also immune to extra damage from critical hits, mind-affecting spells and abilities, poison, sleep, paralysis, stunning and polymorphing. The mound’s size matches that of the wearer. As long as a small part of the mound remains intact, the wearer may revert back to original shape. The cloak works for a total of up to 12 hours per day. This duration need not be continuous.

Strong transmutation; CL 12th; Craft Wondrous Item, creator must have access to the Wild shape (plant) ability; Price 60,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.

Oops. missed this one. Sorry! Here are my comments:

"This is a great item to drop into a very specific adventure, for some NPC bad guys for a very particular story arc or perhaps for PCs in a wierd circumstance. But that isnt what we are looking for. We want RPG Superstar, not Neat Item from your Story. It needs more general appeal. Reject."

Not sure PCs would be that fired up about turning into garbage :)

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

Thanks Clark, onwards to Superstar 2010 !

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

Gorbacz wrote:

Drape of Shambling

This sickly green cloak smells faintly of garbage and feels somewhat slimy to touch. It was created by the druids from The Third Veil as a help in infiltrating towns and settlements.

On command, the cloak causes the wearer and his possessions to transform into an immobile mound of disgusting, rotting organic refuse. The wearer retains his senses and speech, he is also immune to extra damage from critical hits, mind-affecting spells and abilities, poison, sleep, paralysis, stunning and polymorphing. The mound’s size matches that of the wearer. As long as a small part of the mound remains intact, the wearer may revert back to original shape. The cloak works for a total of up to 12 hours per day. This duration need not be continuous.

Strong transmutation; CL 12th; Craft Wondrous Item, creator must have access to the Wild shape (plant) ability; Price 60,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.

As an aside, shambling mounds happen to be one of my favorite monsters. So I dug the name right off. Wasnt enough, though. Another judge didnt like the name, but I dont agree. I happen to love the name. Its what it does that got you :)

Legendary Games, Necromancer Games

OK, bookmarking here. I think I got all the ones before this post.

Time for (early) bed. Its 12:12. :) That is early for me.

Star Voter Season 9

Clark Peterson wrote:

Here we go...

Initially with yours I got hung up on a side issue. Of course, this shows how insane we are...here is what I mean.... [snip/]

Thanks Clark -- awesome feedback. Thanks for all the time you've spent (and continue to spend) helping us out.


Clark Peterson wrote:
Really, this one seemed like a very kobold-campaign-specific item that would be great perhaps in a kobold themed adventure, but not so much as a superstar wondrous item.

Fair comment. I actually thought I was taking that risk when I sent it in. I wasn't sure if that type of specific application would hurt it's appeal or help differentiate it from the other 1000+ items the judges would be looking at.

As for the sucking-up part, well, I wish I could take credit for that much forethought...But next year I'll try something less popular than a kobold, but more popular than a tojanida....:)

Once again, thanks for the insta-feedback. It's very much appreciated.


Clark Peterson wrote:

OK, bookmarking here. I think I got all the ones before this post.

Time for (early) bed. Its 12:12. :) That is early for me.

Here's a headache for you when you wake up!

CHALK OF THE TRAILBLAZER
Aura moderate divination and transmutation; CL 12th
Slot –; Price 23,760 gp; Weight

DESCRIPTION
This stick of rune-inscribed chalk is an item prized by many explorers and adventuring groups, assisting them greatly whilst exploring the unknown and forgotten. Chalk of the Trailblazer has two functions:

Portal: When the user sketches a rough, door-shaped rectangle on any wooden, plaster or stone wall and speaks the command word, the sketch lines turns black and the area within the lines becomes a passage up to 15 feet deep; identical to a Passwall spell.

Pathfinder: By concentrating on a particular location and speaking another command word, the chalk animates, acting as a Find the Path spell: The chalk moves with the user, scribbling notes, markers and directions in Common on any surface, indicating the most direct physical route to that specified location. The chalk is attuned to the person who activated it, only moving when she moves until the spell expires or the user reaches her destination.

The chalk allows the use of either function (but not both) once per day.

CONSTRUCTION
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Animate Object, Find the Path, Passwall; Cost 11,880 gp

If I may start the ball rolling (I want to see if I am right in my self-criticism):
1. one-part Pan's Labyrinth Chalk Item.
2. one part spell-in-a-can.

Lay it on me please, Clark: Any criticism is helpful. I already have an idea for 2010, but I want to see if I am consistently making a number of obvious errors and need to change my train of thought.


Clark Peterson wrote:

OK, bookmarking here. I think I got all the ones before this post.

Time for (early) bed. Its 12:12. :) That is early for me.

Jumped over mine.

Now I assume it happened with the actual contest too and that's why I'm not in Top 32 :)

RPG Superstar 2010 Top 32 , Star Voter Season 8 aka NJKrosse

Tattoo Needles of the Vanja Brujak
Aura moderate evocation; CL 7th
Slot —; Price 140,000 gp; Weight

These rune etched tattoo needles are crafted of unknown materials. A closely guarded secret of the nomadic Vanja Brujak, these needles are passed down from master to apprentice. The ‘Art of the Mark’ as the tattoos are called by them is seen as a gift to be used only in times of great peace or great strife.

Creating a tattoo costs the same as creating a scroll of the same spell. The spell tattooed is of the caster’s level and takes 1 hour/level of the spell to create. This results in one point of temporary constitution damage/spell level—the effects of mystical energy infusion into the character’s body.

A tattoo can be used a number of times equal to the character’s undamaged constitution modifier. Activating a tattoo is a Swift Action and is treated as a spell-like ability. A tattoo gives a permanent +2 to the character’s Charisma score. Once the tattoo is used up, the tattoo remains, but the magic fades.

Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, eagle’s splendor, imbue with spell ability, creator must have ranks in Profession (Tattooist); Cost 70,000 gp

Alright, I can't seem to fall asleep as my mind is swimming through the possibilities of my failed wondrous item. So Sir Peterson, at your leisure, feel free to take the gloves off and give it to me straight. I'm a 1st degree black belt and have taken hefty blows to my ego before, giving me +2 to will saves vs fear and intimidation (not that you are either, I just like thinking this). The same goes for anyone else who feels like criticizing my work of 'art'.

I have some criticisms that I came up with and chewed my lip over since submitting, but I'll wait to hear what you have to say first, as you are much more of an expert that I am.


NJKrosse wrote:

Tattoo Needles of the Vanja Brujak

Aura moderate evocation; CL 7th
Slot —; Price 140,000 gp; Weight

These rune etched tattoo needles are crafted of unknown materials. A closely guarded secret of the nomadic Vanja Brujak, these needles are passed down from master to apprentice. The ‘Art of the Mark’ as the tattoos are called by them is seen as a gift to be used only in times of great peace or great strife.

Creating a tattoo costs the same as creating a scroll of the same spell. The spell tattooed is of the caster’s level and takes 1 hour/level of the spell to create. This results in one point of temporary constitution damage/spell level—the effects of mystical energy infusion into the character’s body.

A tattoo can be used a number of times equal to the character’s undamaged constitution modifier. Activating a tattoo is a Swift Action and is treated as a spell-like ability. A tattoo gives a permanent +2 to the character’s Charisma score. Once the tattoo is used up, the tattoo remains, but the magic fades.

Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, eagle’s splendor, imbue with spell ability, creator must have ranks in Profession (Tattooist); Cost 70,000 gp

Alright, I can't seem to fall asleep as my mind is swimming through the possibilities of my failed wondrous item. So Sir Peterson, at your leisure, feel free to take the gloves off and give it to me straight. I'm a 1st degree black belt and have taken hefty blows to my ego before, giving me +2 to will saves vs fear and intimidation (not that you are either, I just like thinking this). The same goes for anyone else who feels like criticizing my work of 'art'.

I have some criticisms that I came up with and chewed my lip over since submitting, but I'll wait to hear what you have to say first, as you are much more of an expert that I am.

If I had to guess, I'd say that it's not really a magic item – it's an entire new magic item system. Clark mentioned in I think the almost-ran thread that a few entries were disqualified because they did something like introducing a new spell system. While it might be cool (and they are!), it's not really the jurisdiction of a magic item. It would be a feat, like Craft Magic Tattoo or somesuch.

Not to mention that he's said he doesn't like Con damage. ;)

Just my thoughts.

Liberty's Edge Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7

Pathfinder Companion Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

I'm really interested if your reasons for rejecting this are what I think they are. I'm also open to feedback by any others who want to take a crack at it... it can only make next year's try better.

FEYBLOOD CRYSTAL

Aura moderate transmutation; CL 12th
Slot neck; Price 16,000 gp; Weight

DESCRIPTION

A small drop of fey blood captured in amber and strung with a silver cord, this amulet grants the wearer a bond with the natural world and enhances pre-existing natural bonds. The amulet grants a +5 competance bonus on Survival checks. Wielders of the Fey type may use Supernatural or Spell-Like Abilities granted by their race more than once a day an additional time each day. Wielders with the Woodland Stride Ability may move through thorns, briars, and overgrown areas which have been magically manipulated to impede motion freely for a number of rounds each day equal to their Hit Dice; these rounds need not be consecutive. Divine Casters with the air, animal, earth, fire, plant, water, or weather domains may use the second level Spell-Like Ability granted by these domains an additional time each day.

CONSTRUCTION .
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Entangle, creator must be a Fey type or sorcerer of the Fey Bloodline; Cost 8,000 gp


OK, firstly thanks to Clark for taking time out to give feedback on this stuff. I can only guess how busy he and the others have been since entries closed.

Right: here's mine.

Kingsbane Decanter

Aura: faint transmutation. CL 5th
Slot –
Price 14,140 gp

At times, an assassin needs to attack a subject in plain view. The Kingsbane Decanter offers such an opportunity.

Fashioned in a regal style, it can hold any potable liquid, and is designed to be easily poured from behind a person. The contents are quite safe to drink, and the almost everyone served from the Decanter will safely enjoy their refreshment.

A Kingsbane Decanter functions once per day. When the Command Word is spoken (even under one’s breath), the liquid inside the Decanter becomes subject to a Poison effect, as per the spell. When this transformed liquid is consumed, the target must make a Fortitude Save (DC 16) or suffer 1d10 CON damage: a second save one minute later is also required, else the subject suffers the same effect. The taste, smell and appearance of the liquid are not affected by the enchantment.

On speaking another Command Word, the liquid becomes safe to drink again. Thus, many people can be served before and after the target, allaying suspicion that the victim’s drink was responsible.

Construction: Requirements – Craft Wondrous Item, Poison, Neutralise Poison
Cost – 7070 gp
-------------------------------------------------------
From feedback on earlier items and the Also-Ran Thread, I can guess why the Judges passed on this one.

Still, it was a great experience and has fuelled thoughts for next year.

Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8

okay, I'll throw mine in, because I said on another thread I was going to, although after looking through the winners I think I can see why it didn't make the cut. (still feedback is always appreciated).

SPIRIT BOTTLE
Aura Strong Necromancy; CL 17th;
Slot --; Price 50,000 gp; Weight 2 lb.

Description

A delicate cage of mithral cradles this long-necked, gray glass bottle. A cork, capped with silver, is attached to the bottles cage by a fine mithral chain. The bottle can be used to store liquids (about one quart) but any liquid placed within quickly develops a rancid taste. By uncorking an empty spirit bottle and issuing a command the bearer can force an undead creature with the incorporeal subtype within 50 feet into the bottle. If the undead fails a will save (DC 23) it is sucked into the bottle (which automatically caps itself). An opponent that makes its save cannot be affected by that bottle for 24 hours. An incorporeal creature inside the bottle is trapped and cannot pass out of it. A trapped creature can be released only if the cork is removed or the bottle broken (hardness 2, 3 HP), a released creature cannot be trapped in that bottle again until at least 24 hours have passed.

Construction

Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, soul bind; Cost 25,000 gp

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2010 Top 16 , Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 9 aka Dementrius

OK, I'll put my neck on the chopping block...

Charon-shard
Aura moderate necromancy; CL 9th
Slot —; Price 46,800 gp; Weight 2 lb.

Description

This clot-red shard of daemon pate whispers across honed steel like a conspirator plotting murderous treason. Once per day, as a standard action, a Charon-shard can lower the massive damage threshold for a weapon to 25 points of damage and one-quarter of the target’s maximum hit points. The duration is 24 hours, or until an opponent fails a saving throw against massive damage or maiming.

In addition, the wielder can strike an enemy’s limb in lieu of a standard massive damage saving throw. If this saving throw (Fort DC 15 + Strength modifier) fails, the target loses the use of the limb for as long as it has outstanding hit point damage. A slashing weapon instead permanently severs the limb.

A maimed arm, tentacle or other appendage may no longer use items, make attacks or cast spells with somatic components. A maimed leg renders the target prone and immobile apart from crawl actions. A maimed wing does not support flight. Immunity to critical hits does not prevent maiming.

Construction

Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Heighten Spell, bestow curse, slay living; Cost 23,400 gp


NJKrosse wrote:

Tattoo Needles of the Vanja Brujak

Aura moderate evocation; CL 7th
Slot —; Price 140,000 gp; Weight

These rune etched tattoo needles are crafted of unknown materials. A closely guarded secret of the nomadic Vanja Brujak, these needles are passed down from master to apprentice. The ‘Art of the Mark’ as the tattoos are called by them is seen as a gift to be used only in times of great peace or great strife.

Creating a tattoo costs the same as creating a scroll of the same spell. The spell tattooed is of the caster’s level and takes 1 hour/level of the spell to create. This results in one point of temporary constitution damage/spell level—the effects of mystical energy infusion into the character’s body.

A tattoo can be used a number of times equal to the character’s undamaged constitution modifier. Activating a tattoo is a Swift Action and is treated as a spell-like ability. A tattoo gives a permanent +2 to the character’s Charisma score. Once the tattoo is used up, the tattoo remains, but the magic fades.

Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, eagle’s splendor, imbue with spell ability, creator must have ranks in Profession (Tattooist); Cost 70,000 gp

Alright, I can't seem to fall asleep as my mind is swimming through the possibilities of my failed wondrous item. So Sir Peterson, at your leisure, feel free to take the gloves off and give it to me straight. I'm a 1st degree black belt and have taken hefty blows to my ego before, giving me +2 to will saves vs fear and intimidation (not that you are either, I just like thinking this). The same goes for anyone else who feels like criticizing my work of 'art'.

I have some criticisms that I came up with and chewed my lip over since submitting, but I'll wait to hear what you have to say first, as you are much more of an expert that I am.

Tattoo magic cropped up in the early 3.0 supplement Relics and Rituals, but (of course) that isn't SRD. There were rules in there for what you could do with Tattoos - several pages' worth, IIRC - and trying to cover tattoo casting in 200 words doesn't really cut it.

+2 CHA bonus for having a tattoo? That screams Bard Abuse to me, I can see heavily tattooed bards with Perform skills in the stratosphere thanks to those. Agreed, it's compensated by CON loss, but even so it's abusable. Also, would the +2 also apply to clerics using CHA to Turn Undead - since when were zombies aesthetes?


Please be as blunt and honest as possible. I can only learn from this. Thank you in advance for your time.

Divine symbol of faith
Aura:faint evocation CL:5th
Slot:-- Price: 18,400 Weight:--

description

The Divine symbol of faith is a master crafted holy symbol. For all intents and purpose it functions just as any other holy symbol with three additional features. The first is whenever the wielder uses the divine symbol of faith as her focus for channeling positive energy she gains a bonus of 2D6 to her positive energy burst. Secondly using a command word she may use the divine symbol of faith to cast the spell searing light (CL 5) 3/day. Lastly the wielder may, with the use of a command word, cast the spell consecrate (CL 3) once per day with the divine symbol of faith as the focal point.

construction

Requirements:Craft wondrous Item, searing light, consecrate. In addition the holy symbol must have positive energy channeled into it during the creation by a 3rd level cleric/6th level paladin. Cost: 9,200

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