
The Jade |

Damn it, Jim! I'm a doctor, not a...
good actor! (apologies... just jokes)
defoliant! (de-forest... get it)
dancing girl! (there are limits to what even a captain may ask of his crew)
spit guard! (he was standing opposite Shatner-in-impassioned-recitation-mode, after all)
anthropomorphized turkey leg! (from the episode where they were stranded on a deserted island on Keldron 4 and Kirk got quite deliriously hungry)
catch phrase trigger device! (referring to the "damn it, Jim..." line itself)
RPG designer! That takes true genius! (ahem)

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* "My dear girl, I'm a doctor. When I peek, it is in the line of duty." (TOS: "Shore Leave")
* "I don't know, Jim. This is a big ship. I'm just a country doctor." (TOS: "The Alternative Factor")
* "Me, I'm a doctor. If I were an officer of the line..." (TOS: "A Taste of Armageddon")
* "What do you mean what sort of work? I'm a doctor." (TOS: "This Side of Paradise")
* "I'm a doctor, not a bricklayer." (TOS: "The Devil in the Dark")
...to which Kirk replies, "You're a healer, there's a patient. That's an order."
* "I'm a surgeon, not a psychiatrist." (TOS: "The City on the Edge of Forever")
This is an interesting statement since, in the episode "Court Martial", Doctor McCoy is called as an expert witness in space psychiatry.
* "I'm not a scientist or a physicist, Mr. Spock..." (TOS: "Metamorphosis")
* "Look, I'm a doctor, not an escalator." (TOS: "Friday's Child")
* "I'm a doctor, not a mechanic." (TOS: "The Doomsday Machine")
* "I'm a doctor, not an engineer." (TOS: "Mirror, Mirror")
...to which Montgomery Scott immediately replied, "Now, you're an engineer."
* "I'm not a magician, Spock, just an old country doctor." (TOS: "The Deadly Years")
* "I will not peddle flesh! I'm a physician." (TOS: "Return to Tomorrow")
* "I'm a doctor, not a coal miner." (TOS: "The Empath")
* "I'm not a mechanic, Spock..." (TOS: "The Empath")
During one episode of Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In, DeForest Kelley spoke the line "I'm not a doctor, I'm a convicted murderer."