Love it.
Love it.
LOVE IT.
Could have seen that response coming from a mile away!
I think this makes for a great recurring villain - until they figure out it's the horse, it could be one of those "Why won't this guy stay DEAD!?!?!?" scenarios. Very nice.
I really dislike "Catspaw Marauders", isn't that the name of the Grey Mouser's sword or dagger? Not sure, but something bugged me about it.
Maybe you're thinking of Pathfinder #2: The Skinsaw Murders. That's what bugged me about the name.
Great idea here for an unexpected BBEG. The problems that I see are from the class levels. Blackguards aren't major spellcasters, but not being able to use their spells at all robs our horse of one more weapon against good. They also don't feel quite right for some reason, though the idea of a nightmare blackguard DOES seem to fit for me. Guess it's those rogue levels.
Motivations are my prime issue. Beyond raw chaos, what does he really want? Maybe if he had been the mount of a famous blackguard who was slain by a paladin of Heironeous he'd be out for vengeance. I could see him trampling paladins at every opportunity as an exaggerated form of payback.
Got a laugh out of me on this one. Have to admit I'd find him even more fun with his mother statted up. He's got to have a stable somewhere to go home to, doesn't he?
Thumb's up from me.
I'd have to rewrite this from scratch. But it's a cool enough idea, I might do that.
I also feel it falls into the sub0-minion category, the kinds of named agents I expect the real Ming type to have. Then again, I'm getting a lot of those in this round, so maybe my standards are too high.
Besides, my players may not have to deal with half these guys as agents of somethign worse...
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Avinash has no grand schemes? Then how is he a villain? What's he doing with the Catspaw Marauders?
I've seen the cannabalistic horse thing done in the RPGA (LG Bandit Kingdoms) with sheep and a dragon (yes, that's right, half-red dragon sheep). On one hand, that means I'm OK with it. On the other hand, I've seen it before...
I like the general concept, but it's not really a villain.
This entry made me smile in several places. Nice use of the hand of glory and the thieves' cowl. I really like the central idea of the manipulative nightmare with a series of interchangeable riders to take the fall (literally), but I would have liked to see more about how this deception is perpetrated and thus Avinash lives to menace another day. I also think the adventure hooks could have used the Catspaw Marauders more. Nonetheless, it's still a Superstar entry for me.
aka Robert G. McCreary
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I have to say, Avinash is the first villain I read that really stood out for me. I've always loved nightmares, but I've never actually used them because it seemed kinda stupid to say "you're fighting a horse." Ah, but give him some class levels, a good backstory (as one poster put it, "hot succubus barnyard sex"!), and interchangeable, expendable riders, and BANG! you have a villain I would love to use.
Some good points:
- Loved the cannibal horses plot hook
- Liked the battle chant at the beginning (catchy!)
- It took me a little while to reason to realize the whole catspaw thing. Why is his group called the Catspaw Marauders? He's a horse. Ah, becuase the rider is the catspaw... Beautiful.
- The hand of glory was inspired. Give a horse a magic item that it can actually use and that allows it to use an item it couldn't normally use, that is also key to his success (so that everybody doesn't see he's a big flaming horse).
And some bad points:
- No hit points! That is inexcusable! But I'll give you a pass, as long as you provide us with HD and hp when you can comment. :)
- He has no plans or schemes? Seriously, he's a villain. He has to have schemes. Luckily, I can think of a few to give him when I use him.
You definitely get one of my votes. Congratulations, and good luck!
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aka Robert G. McCreary
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Just wanted to add something else I just noticed, especially for those people saying we know nothing about Avinash's rider or the Catspaw Marauders. With a closer look at the stat block, we can find:
Feats Cleave, Empower Spell-like Ability (poison), Improved Sunder, Leadership (cohort: Barzel Yuguan (aka “Avinash”), 10th level half-orc ranger; followers: the Catspaw Marauders (low-level orc, human, and half-orc warriors)), Power Attack
We've got his rider, and the Marauders, too. They're hidden, but they're there. I was actually quite pleased when I noticed this - almost like finding a hidden Easter egg on a DVD.
I love your quote up there--it made me laugh out loud. Glad you liked the entry, and I hope your players both love AND hate it!
One reason I really fell in love with Avinash is in one of my campaigns the group is going to be running into a worg that is a scout for his pack. I gave the worg levels in ranger and took the Wildshape variant for it. So you have a Worg who can wildshape into normal animals. How better to get close to the 'smelly two-leggers' then to be a cute puppy dog? Yeah Avinash and the Worg-Queen would be a nice duo. :) Who knows maybe Momma Succubus had a fling with a worg too? Nothing's forbidden in the Abyss afterall. :)
I love villains that turn out to be puppets of the true villain. This is a great use of a nightmare, but the entry needs more on the Catspaw Marauders.
The scent of death,
The sound of screams,
The paw, the claw, the fang, the growl!
Your pounding heart
Like music seems
When black cat banner’s on the prowl!
- Catspaw Marauder battle chant
Nice introductory text! Some of the best IMO. This is a brigand, a bandit...that's a nightmare. Now that's an interesting stroke right there indeed. Unfortunately, it then goes on to describe him as serving various dark patrons. That combined with his brigandry keeps him out of the villain classification category in my mind.
I really like the "it's the HORSE!" twist. However, this entry is truly weak in motivations. Many of the other open ended entries I liked, but I could clearly see how the author would use them, and how I would want them in my campaign.
Because of the sheer ingenuity of this villain, I believe the author owes it to us to give a few examples of plots and hooks. A solid paragraph developing Avinash with hooks would have been invaluable here. Undecided so far on this one ...
I'd have to rewrite this from scratch. But it's a cool enough idea, I might do that.
Took the words out of my mouth...
Ok, every contest like this seems to get a certain hype going, whether it is for specific contestants (that subsequently receive more forgiveness from the general public) or whether it is certain entries. For me the reactions on this entry for the villain round fits in the latter category. Personally I don't really see it working for a couple of reasons:
First as a recurring villain (slaying a few "false" Avinash along the way) my players would be rather disappointed with finding out it's a horse (not really the climactic encounter they'd expect).
Second the real villain is always there, as the mount of the "false" villain. Why would he accept his decoy to be slain so easily by a couple of low level wannabe heroes?
Last but not least, it's just a bit over the top. As Erik said, the class levels are a bit much ("Yes, my dwarven barbarian player, the horse backstabs you with his front paw as you try to move away" will result in at least some discussion at my gaming table).
I'm pretty sure you'll advance and hope you'll blow me away with some very neat monsters!
This one makes my head hurt, though in a good way. As others mentioned, a fun idea with a complete rewrite.
After much rumination, I've decided this shall garner my forth vote.
I like the "it's the horse!" aspect; I do love turning a cliche on it's head - I've done myself on more than one occasion. It's almost Whedon-esque, which is about as higher a compliment as I can pay.
I'm rather less enamoured of the Catspaw name, however. That I think could have been much more menacing. I also think this human racial obsession with cats and dogs to be rather tiresome and always invokes a sense of irritation in me. Frankly, catspaw doesn't sound very Marauding to me. It puts me more in mind of a rather unimaginative theive's guild, bringin to mind people padding around, not stomping people into bloody dust beneath hooves. Even something similar but slightly more specific, like Tigerclaw would have been better. (I think, to retreat to palentological obscurity, Mesonyx Marauders would have had a certain appropriate ring to it...)
I think the Hand of Glory was actually unecessary since every unofficial and official rule (as the RAW is silent on the subject) I've ever encountered on the subject of animals and items allows creatures to wear rings (if a dragon can wear a freakin' ring, a horse can!) That said, kudos for using it to cover your backside...
Your tactics section was okay, but a bit breif. Despite having got Empowered poison, you failed to mention it. Avinash does have a ranged attack problem, but that's kind of unavoidable in this case with a melee-based monster.
Personally, I'm less fussed about the specifics of the rider or the Maruaders, since those I'd fit myself to the campaign at hand. I think the idea was very sound, but would need some more context-specific material beyond the scope of your word-limit - and a touch of renaming - to polish Avinash to his true obsidian lustre.
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4, Legendary Games
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Just wanted to add something else I just noticed, especially for those people saying we know nothing about Avinash's rider or the Catspaw Marauders. With a closer look at the stat block, we can find:
Feats Cleave, Empower Spell-like Ability (poison), Improved Sunder, Leadership (cohort: Barzel Yuguan (aka “Avinash”), 10th level half-orc ranger; followers: the Catspaw Marauders (low-level orc, human, and half-orc warriors)), Power AttackWe've got his rider, and the Marauders, too. They're hidden, but they're there. I was actually quite pleased when I noticed this - almost like finding a hidden Easter egg on a DVD.
Yay, thanks for noticing! And for pointing it out!
Frustrating not being able to comment further, but c'est la vie.
RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32, 2011 Top 16
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Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka JoelF847
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Overall, great entry. Loved the twist, and the unusual base creature for the villain. I didn't love the lack of a goal/plan, etc, but you at least provided several hooks, and a re-usable villain so that made up for it in large part.
That being said, the no hp/hd section hurts, and I think you overdid it with the class levels and/or the template. I personally don't really like half-fiend working on an outsider, but it does, so I won't hold that against you. I think you could have gotten the same use out of the villain if you had only given it the blackguard levels (which I think it could have still qualified for, maybe not though), and brought it's CR down some. This would make it's low level minions more useful to it in a fight. The alternative would be to have it have an adventuring party it used and not just the minions and cohort from the leadership feat.
I think you have my vote, but there's still 8 more for me to read through.
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4, Legendary Games
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To me, the weakest aspect is definitely the stat block. Right in the creature description "Male nightmare rogue 2/blackguard 5", the fact that Avinash is a half-fiend is omitted. Yes, it is in the CR calculation, but that would be stripped for publication.
But Avinash still gets a vote. The twist is great. The fact that he doesn't have any over-arching plan is fine to me. He's a freaking Chaotic Evil horse!
What makes him a really usable long-term villian, however, is:
"Etherealness (Su): This ability functions just like the spell of the same name (caster level 20th); Avinash can use it at will, bringing up to 6 companions."
This, in combination with the disguise, good armor class and evasion should ensure that he's a villian the PCs can tangle with multiple times.I don't see problem playing Avinash as somewhat reactive. "His wild spirit is ruled by lusts for power, wealth, corruption, anarchy, and slaughter." The PCs smash his current catspaw group? He returns with canabalistic horses. The PCs stop that? He replaces the trusted steed of a local noble. No long term planning, just a series of schemes for power and destruction, in keeping with his CE nature.
Thanks for noticing some of the details in the stat block (good and, unfortunately, not so good).
You have excellent ideas on how to use Avinash as a villain. I hereby appoint you Avinash's "Minister of Villainy" for his ongoing quest for votes!
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4, Legendary Games
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The stat block seems extremely well-executed, if a bit overcomplicated (half-fiend on an evil outsider seems to be overkill). Your writing is generally good, except for the adventure hooks (which just seem clunky) and this
" a fanged cat’s head, black on crimson, paws raised to strike"
which reads to me like the cat head has paws, which I doubt is what you intended.
Glad you liked it and thanks for the comments. As for that phrase... yeah, it does have that implication if read grammatically, and no that wasn't quite the image I was going for! Sounds like something that would live downstream from the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant and dine on three-eyed fishies.
It reminds me of something George Lucas said (or something close to this), "A director never really finishes a movie; he just stops making it." Like him or not, it's a good insight into any creative project. At some point, whatever you're writing or painting or drawing or filming or researching or whatever it is you're doing, you just at some point decide to stop (or someone else decides for you that it's time to stop). At that point, you just hope that whatever state your creation is in will be good enough.
Of course, if you have Lucas' resources, sometimes you can get a do-over, for good or for bad, but that is another story...
This is the sort of sub that really cheers me up: A villain that is usable and original, with interesting twists. One of my favorites!
By the way, this is a perfect villain for a Blue Rose campaign.
Same question here. The name is dimly familiar but not coming to me.By the way, this is a perfect villain for a Blue Rose campaign.What's that?
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4, Legendary Games
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http://bluerose.greenronin.com/Same question here. The name is dimly familiar but not coming to me.By the way, this is a perfect villain for a Blue Rose campaign.What's that?
Thanks. Don't have time to give it a close look, but the art is beautiful.
Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8
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The battle chant is impressively fierce. Seeing how important the Catspaw Marauders are to this entry, it's unfortunate that they're so loosely described throughout.
Good to see the use of the thieves' cowl.
The villain is a horse. It's a gimmick. The last round had a lot of gimmicks. I didn't like this author's gimmick in the last round. I'll be looking for a lot to bring this into contention.
It was probably unnecessary to emphasise the elite stat array. That's what I'd assume designers should have used in this exercise.
It's interesting to see tactics directed towards battlefield control and command - almost looking ahead to a different class in 4th Edition. That makes me want to know what sort of troops he commands. It seems odd that a nightmare could 'hold the charge' on one of his hoofs, seeing he's running on it.
The origin entry seems .. unnecessary. Eye-catching, though.
Really liked the adventure hook with the evil horse offspring.
It's a gimmick, but it's well executed. It really needed more detail on the Catspaw followers. I'll review this with the other entries.
What led me into passing on the nightmare was the line, "While cunning and intelligent, Avinash has no grand schemes." Huh? I thought he was a villain.
Exactly. Ouch.
For my personal uses I can forgive the (many) issues with the stat block - when I add Avinash to my campaign I intend to rewrite him at a lower CR - my personal preference. I'm not sure if I can overlook the problems for the competition though.
Definitely in consideration - love the concept!
This gets a vote.
I like Avinash he made my top half but I only had 4 votes. Good luck he appears to be a popular villain so I expect we'll get to see more of your work in round 4.
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4, Legendary Games
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Okay, voting being closed now I will post my comments. I know at least one poster has said he/she liked it when people just let their work stand on its own without comment, but, well, I'm afraid that's not really my personality. For those that are gluttons for punishment, I present the following responses to frequently asked questions and critiques of Avinash, the baddest horsey this side of... well, pretty much anywhere!
PLOTS
1. Umm, “While cunning and intelligent, Avinash has no grand schemes.” Dude, WTF?
Ouch and double ouch. How this unfortunate phrase resonated. The meaning I intended was that Avinash has no GRAND schemes-- he was not intended to be an uber-super mastermind trying to take over the world or create Realms-Shaking Events™. What it sounded like to most people, of course, is that he had NO plans at all. I was quite appropriately crucified over this, as it was a gaping hole in his villainous resume.
I think my idea was that he was a creature ruled by his passions and not by planning; super-evil, yes, but also super-chaotic. Lots of ideas and projects but little staying power. Lots of plots started but few seen through to the end, and always ready to abandon one scheme (and one batch of henchpeople) for the next.
His core as a villain was not in his dedication to a single grand objective. Instead I wanted to vest it in him personally and his minions. The development of rivalry and opposition and hate and urge to destroy between PCs and Avinash was never supposed to be about thwarting his plans, it was in opposition to the villain himself. He and his minions just keep coming back, again and again and again. You could beat him or drive him off, but sooner or later he’ll be back. And worse, you never know exactly when you’ll find their fingerprints (or hoofprints) on some act of villainy. Sometimes Avinash could be used reactively, responding to something PCs were doing (either on his own or in the employ of some other nemesis of the PCs). Other times he could act proactively, recruiting new minions, corrupting new servants, and pursuing new plots—finding new towns to ravage and NPCs to savage. Ethereal robbery anyone? His open-ended and self-limited goals could be a strength; he is a virtual chameleon (pun intended, given his ring) and could work with all kinds of evil plots. Because he was not specifically tied to a single grand goal, he was more approachable and functionally usable for a DM.
2. I’m still not quite buying it. Did he ever have any specific motivations?
Actually, yes. Originally his nightmare father, Skurtu, had been killed by elves and so he hated elves. Then his father was killed by LG Hieroneous worshipers, but then Hieroneous was not SRD, so I thought generic ‘LG church knights’ so he hated them (and in effect wanted to become the evil opposite of a mighty paladin on his noble steed) but didn’t quite like the flavor of what I had written. In the end, I also was thinking that if Bethania/Avinash were CHAOTIC evil, would they really have that kind of burning need for revenge when lover/father was killed? Easy come, easy go, right? In the end, I cut the whole ‘father’ subplot for space.
I had also started a writeup that would tie him into the corruption in the Enlightened Kingdom of Vramaire entry, at first as an ally of the orc revolutionaries and then rewritten as more of a corruptor; someone who worked with the corrupted knights and hunted down those who stayed true to the old LG religious ways of Vramaire.
Finally, I also tried another format tying his goals to his passions and desires (for lust he does this, for slaughter he does that, for hate he does this, for corruption he does that, for power something else) but it got too long.
3. Okay, so give me some examples. What might Avinash actually DO?
I could Avinash in his spare time, maybe after a cohort has been killed and/or the marauders defeated, while he’s off looking for a new prospective rider, just roaming around more or less at random (he can go ethereal AT WILL after all, and fly). Going around in horsey disguise, spying on people, mugging people at random in dark alleys or stables or farms and then wandering off in horsey disguise (especially if he used his burning claws to attack—he could be standing RIGHT THERE next to a bloody body and watching the reaction, and who on earth would suspect an ordinary horse, just cackling in his dark, villainous heart at the evilness of it all). He could ethereally transport his cohort into the bedchamber of a fair maid he had been wooing, or bust into the home of a rival and take terrible revenge for some real or imagined slight. Just an all-around bad pony.
Beyond such small-time hooliganery, what were his bigger plans, once he has found the right cohort to corrupt and minions to follow him? I alluded to Avinash’s motivations—liking to challenge, ambush, & betray chivalrous knights, liking to seek out and corrupt noble types into being his riders—but never really spelled it out. Some of his actions could just be petty and cruel. Heck, even the ‘cannibal horses’ plot hook was an example of a motivation (to procreate more of his demon-seed, both corrupting the natural order and simultaneously robbing rivals and enemies of their ostensible allies, the simple ‘noble’ horse), and the hook somebody else suggested of him trying to replicate his mother’s ‘experiments’ with hapless mortals would be sickeningly appropriate.
I think in a nutshell Avinash’s goal is to be an inverted paladin hero. To corrupt whom he may into serving him, and to destroy those whom he cannot. He sees himself as the equal (or superior) and opposite of the traditional mounted holy knight, and as their
I think the pieces were there, but 2 or 3 sentences here and changing NOTHING else could have made a world of difference.
MISSING PIECES
1. Where are the hit points?
They are there, in the ‘base statistics’ paragraph. I had originally had that paragraph (without spell adjustments) under DEFENSE and the spell-adjusted defensive values there in the middle of the stat block. When I looked carefully at the instructions it said to give the spell-adjusted stat block first so I switched them. Since his spells didn’t affect hit points, I hadn’t put a changed hit point entry in the spell-adjusted paragraph, so when I switched it to the DEFENSE position… no hit points. No excuse, just sloppy.
2. Why don’t you say he’s a half-fiend on the first line of the stat block?
Forgot. Sloppy. It’s in the CR calculation right next to it, but still…
3. What’s the deal with the class levels? Especially rogue.
Avinash was supposed to be a nightmare blackguard 7, but he couldn’t qualify. Needs 5 ranks of Hide, not a class skill for nightmares, so the most he could have had was 4.5 ranks at 6 HD. So I figured add a level of some other class before blackguard, and rogue seemed like a natural (and would make up for the lost sneak attack die he would have gained at blackguard 7). Then my inner powergamer took over and said, especially since he couldn’t cast spells, Rogue2/Blg5 was WAY better than Rog1/Blg6… hello evasion. Yeah, now I feel dirty all over.
But, I agree that it makes his stat block clunky to be multiclassed. What I should have done is just give him a level or two of outsider, made him, say an “advanced half-fiend nightmare (8 HD) blackguard 5.” Much simple and more streamlined.
4. Why those exact numbers, adding up to 13?
Short and sweet: 13th level half-fiend gets unholy aura 3/day, which would be quite disgustingly awesome for a creature leading allies into battle, buffing lots of your minions with a sweet spell effect. Also, 13th level total HD + fiendish servant gets pushes your servant up an ability grade. It was purely for min-maxing reasons. Though 13 is a cool number for a CE horse I suppose!
5. Your tactics section was kind of short.
I was surprised how short it looked in the final form. It looked far longer typing it up in word, and it was about triple that length originally. I had even added an ‘after combat’ section detailing how he would turn weakened prisoners into undead (using a commanded shadow in an unhallowed/desecrated area) and turn them loose after battles. I guess the stat block seemed so titanically long that I worried about getting zinged for overkilling the tactics section so I erred on the side of brevity. In retrospect I shoulda just rolled with it.
As a subnote for whomever asked the question about empowered poison, I did mention it in the ‘before combat’ tactics section. Originally I had also mentioned it as a preferred tactic vs. small numbers of strong foes in the ‘during combat’ section but it was left off in the final form.
6. He can’t cast spells as a blackguard? Isn’t that kinda lame?
Meh. He has plenty of other tricks up his sleeve. Besides, one of the plot hooks implies that he is trying to work around that (get a metamagic device he can wear to do Silent and Still Spell). I had done a character build for him with those as feats, but it seemed like a big investment for the modest casting abilities he got as a blackguard. Easier to just write it off entirely. Also, some of the blackguard spell list is made superfluous with his spell-like abilities.
MINIONS
1. Can we know more about the rider & the minions?
As was posted, the base information was there in the feats section under Leadership (name, alias, class and level for cohort, general race and class for followers), which is how the judges said to present that info. They said focus on the main villain, so I left the details of the minions, such as they were, in the fine print. I actually had a long “show your math” section detailing his Leadership score breakdown and breaking out his followers by class, level, and number, but ditched it as being yet more overkill.
Still, a little more about the riders, especially a short sequence of past riders, might have been good flavor. Also, the fact that he founded the Marauders and why and what he uses them for would have been good additions. I will again say I was trying to focus on the core villain as I felt that was the design instruction. Minions were mentioned and then left in the background, but they could’ve used some more foregrounding.
2. What’s up with the name anyway? And the little battle chant?
As someone pointed out, ‘catspaw’ was a play on words about the fact that the rider and the minions were all playthings, dupes, catspaws of Avinash. I also rather liked the sound of it. I liked the little chant thing. It wasn’t Shakespeare but it was fun, some people liked it, some didn’t. Kind of like the cannibal horses adventure hook (I actually liked that one a lot—it seemed to me like EXACTLY the sort of thing that a lusty CE plane-traveling magical horse would do—but not everyone agreed).
3. At CR 15, aren’t those followers and cohort dead meat?
Maybe. Sure, high-level adventurers can carve through them like nothing, but:
a. They can also be numerous enough to be annoying and distracting in combat situations, to provide flanking and aid another to the stronger NPCs or to impede the PCs and to coup de grace anyone who gets rendered helpless in combat.
b. They also can make trouble in scenarios where the PCs encounter Avinash and the Marauders orthogonally—not as direct adversaries, but coming into a situation where Avinash & Co are dealing with someone ELSE.
c. They can also provide appropriate fodder for PLAYER CHARACTERS who have the Leadership feat and wonder when they will EVER get to use their followers for something other than a line on their character sheet.
d. The cohort is not super-tough, but he’s not a pushover either. The false Avinash will be able to put up a fair fight and get some licks in.
THE BIG SECRET
1. Jason, this was just like Bereket all over again. How come you seem to assume that the bad guys can keep this big secret? Can’t people figure it out? Everyone can’t be that dumb!”
This was one that bugged me after I submitted and I wish I had done more because the more I thought about it the more it did seem I had repeated the error. I could have simply stipulated that he changed his appearance (color, size, even apparent gender) regularly, taking 10 on Disguise checks for a Spot DC of 32 (playing the role of an ordinary horse), 22 if you can see through his illusion (with true seeing or just making a Will save vs. disguise self when interacting with him, like when he’s kicking your sorry butt!).
Some of it I had addressed in the ‘tactics’ section, talking about what abilities he would or wouldn’t use (flight and smoke being the biggest two for giving away his disguise). I think I was too worried about overdoing it, especially with a stat block that was already monstrously long. How often does he change his disguise? Does he adopt a new horse identity each time he changes riders? He could keep changing his look as often as he likes, and I had written that he did so, but the sentence felt clunky and broke the feeling I was trying to evoke.
Ironically, in the heat of battle it might not really matter if people see he’s a nightmare. Nightmares are such an ‘accessory’ as a monster that no one would probably care. “Oh, that Avinash dude has a nightmare mount, cool!” Even the fact that the nightmare fades away after battle ethereally or whatever would probably be unremarkable to players. “Yeah, they can travel the planes and his boss is dead anyway, so why hang around to die?” Also, since he actually has half-fiend wings (though wouldn’t use them since his nightmare flight abilities are better) he could use disguise self to appear like a pegasus or hippogriff to explain the flight.
2. Do the Marauders know about Avinash?
I would say no. Rather like the ‘Dread Pirate Roberts’ analogy, when the DPR would change places, the old DPR would become first mate and an entirely new crew would be taken on. Then the old DPR would leave. As far as everyone on the new crew was aware, that WAS the DPR. I could see a similarity with Avinash. The rider tells them he’s Avinash. All of the past stories of the Marauders say the rider in the cowl is Avinash. Why would they think otherwise?
It also reminds me of the ‘False Dragons’ in the Wheel of Time series. Each time, a man would raise the banner of the Dragon Reborn and people would flock to it, an army would be raised, mayhem would ensue, and sooner or later they would be brought down. Sometime later, it would happen again. Were these just individuals with power (not all of them could even use magic)? Were they recurrent manifestations of the same spirit (Jordan’s universe posits repeated reincarnation of legendary heroes)? Would someone who served under a previous False Dragon and survived come to serve a new one? You know they’re not the same person, but it’s the Dragon again. The banner is raised. Do you follow the banner?
I say all that to say that it might not matter whether the Marauders believe that there is and has only ever been one Avinash. Heck, they might think it’s the thieves’ cowl that provides their master his eerie powers, perhaps up to and including summoning a nightmare steed. The followers know that “Avinash” has raised his dread banner and the Leadership feat does the rest. They know that Avinash is mighty and powerful and always comes back even when defeated. Sure, other followers die (-1 to Leadership score for followers), but not us!
Remember, the rider is Avinash’s cohort. He works for the horse. His primary job is to maintain the illusion. Avinash tells him telepathically the things he should say and do to make sure enemies and allies alike believe that he’s the BBEG. In return, he gets wealth, power, respect fame, and a horse who can ethereally or astrally take him basically anywhere he wants to go, with the power and anonymity to take whatever or whomever he wants without having to look at himself in the mirror the next day. Conscience-free wish (no, not wish) fulfillment is what Avinash promises and delivers, as long as his rider doesn’t piss him off.
3. But what about all those spell-like abilities? Can’t people tell it’s the horse?
Um, no. They’re spell-like abilities. There is no obvious casting, no components needed, no words, no gestures. They CAN be disrupted by AoOs, so presumably there is some instinctual sense that SLA’s are being used if you’re right next to an enemy creature, but that’s about it. Besides, Avinash could tell his rider to make all sorts of dramatic mumbo jumbo happen when it’s time to bust out the SLAs. When you see what you expect to see, you rarely are inclined to ask questions about what MIGHT be behind door #2.
If you actually read through this entire posting, wow, you're really bored on Christmas Day. Hopefully I'll have a chance to knock off your collective socks with a collection of malevolent monstrosities, but we shall see tomorrow afternoon. In the meanwhile, enjoy your day and reflect on peace, love, faith, and hope. All the best to you and yours - Jason
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Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8
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I had also started a writeup that would tie him into the corruption in the Enlightened Kingdom of Vramaire entry, at first as an ally of the orc revolutionaries and then rewritten as more of a corruptor; someone who worked with the corrupted knights and hunted down those who stayed true to the old LG religious ways of Vramaire.
I think giving him a context would have helped a lot with his plots and the background to the Marauders, but not cost much. It might be possible to twist in both of the links mentioned - using and betraying the ideals of both the orcs and the paladin state to bring the maximum of chaos and woe.
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4, Legendary Games
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I think giving him a context would have helped a lot with his plots and the background to the Marauders, but not cost much. It might be possible to twist in both of the links mentioned - using and betraying the ideals of both the orcs and the paladin state to bring the maximum of chaos and woe.I had also started a writeup that would tie him into the corruption in the Enlightened Kingdom of Vramaire entry, at first as an ally of the orc revolutionaries and then rewritten as more of a corruptor; someone who worked with the corrupted knights and hunted down those who stayed true to the old LG religious ways of Vramaire.
Good call. That's the essence of CE right there. Yeah, I'll work for you for a little while, but I also have to have a little 'private time'--during which he's working with someone else entirely. Shoot, given his mobility and his ability to change his appearance, he could be simultaneously working with lots of different groups, stirring up trouble in each place.
I suppose only one person could be his official cohort at a time, but in theory he could have more than one band of Catspaw Marauders active at a time.
The sad truth about writing, or any creative endeavor, or shoot even a job application or public speaking engagement, is that often it is the presence or absence of a few words or sentences that make all the difference. To the good, the right turn of phrase may catch the eye or ear of someone and create an opportunity. To the bad, the wrong turn of phrase could turn a humdrum speech into a public scandal. Sometimes you get a do-over. Most times you don't.
If the only difference in this entry was that I had not written the 'no grand plots' sentence and everything else was identical, the perception of the entry could have been very different. Maybe not, but I think it would. Enough people liked the concept that it seems to have been enough to overcome a dangerous misstep. If the 'who has your vote' numbers hold up, it looks like I will be one of the fortunate few who does get a do-over. Some folks who did dynamite work in earlier rounds may not be so lucky.
Still, you gotta play to win, which means you do your best work and let it fly and hope for the best. If you're going down, go down swingin'!
I do hope this one gets through, as its nicely done. But the twist didn't grab me as much as it did some other people - am I really the only one here that's ever heard of the Black Horse Troop? You know, big bunch of RuneQuest villains: a whole cavalry troop mounted on demonic horses, only (drum roll), it's the horses that are actually in charge - the riders are just their sidekicks. No? Just me then...
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4, Legendary Games
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I do hope this one gets through, as its nicely done. But the twist didn't grab me as much as it did some other people - am I really the only one here that's ever heard of the Black Horse Troop? You know, big bunch of RuneQuest villains: a whole cavalry troop mounted on demonic horses, only (drum roll), it's the horses that are actually in charge - the riders are just their sidekicks. No? Just me then...
Wow!
I think all 3 of my entries thus far, someone has found a connection somewhere or something similar. You with this, somebody with the round one item with something in a Bastion Press book on alchemy, and my round 2 country with (shudder) The Mummy Returns. And here I thought I was being original and clever.
You know, I did play RQ once, about 20 years ago, and my Dragon magazine collection is old enough that I remember way back when they used to have articles on Glorantha on a regular basis (that's the 'official' RQ world, right?), but I had not heard of the Black Horse Troop before.
Yeah, I figured it was a coincidence :) That's one reason I didn't mention it until now - on the off-chance it might dissuade people from voting for what was, IMO, a good entry.
The BHT go way back, though - they were in the boardgame that preceded RuneQuest. They've been developed further since, of course, although they don't feature in anything currently in the shops that I can think of. Glorantha is, after all, a pretty big world.
Glad to see you made it through to the next round, this would definitely have been my 5th vote if we were given that many. One of the thoughts I had when reading Avinash that would have made for a cool hook was if he had a penchant for causing paladins to fall and then taking them on as riders, something my players would appreciate. Good luck in the next round.
Overall: B
Bad horsie irrationally overcomes a host of problems, or does it?If there is a guy whose prior work should guarantee you a pass for a weak entry, it is you. The Phial and Bereket are absolute killers. This was a misstep. I think you got too cute on this one. But I think you deserve a chance to go to the next round. That said, this is round 3 and if the voters wanted to say no more passes, I wouldn’t be able to disagree. I am going to break my normal habit. Normally I recommend or don’t recommend only on the strength of the submission. If I did that for you here, I would not recommend your villain. However, I am going to recommend you for top 8. This may be the blink dogs of this round.
RECOMMENDED for Top 8, but just because I irrationally like it and based on the strength of the author’s prior work.
Jason, Jason, Jason,
You lucky ba$tard! I'm glad you advanced. I wanted you to. :)
Congratulations. It appears that there were others who looked past the MANY flaws of this submission.
Please try to remember the hit points for your monsters :)
Good luck in the next round! I'm pulling for you. Word to the wise, though: this was the blink dog entry of round 3. And you can see what happened to Erik this round. You really need to bring it next round.
Clark
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4, Legendary Games
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Jason, Jason, Jason,
You lucky ba$tard! I'm glad you advanced. I wanted you to. :)
Congratulations. It appears that there were others who looked past the MANY flaws of this submission.
Please try to remember the hit points for your monsters :)
Good luck in the next round! I'm pulling for you. Word to the wise, though: this was the blink dog entry of round 3. And you can see what happened to Erik this round. You really need to bring it next round.
Clark
What's the old saying? "Sometimes I guess it's better to be lucky than good."
Hey, I stand by the Avinash concept as being rock-solid awesome, but the MANY flaws in the entry were well pointed out by you and others. The details of Avinash were unfortunately a rush job because of exactly when the 'work period' for this round fell (overlapping a trip with the kids), so I can just be thankful it came out as well as it did and that the good parts were enough to overcome the weaker elements (and also thankful I don't have any more trips planned between now and the end of the contest!).
Thanks again to all the Avinash (and Bereket and Phial) fans out there, and I hope my monstrous mojo will knock your socks off without reservation in round 4!
Jason
Congrats in making it to the next round. I wanted to hand on the info about how Avinash worked in the first meeting with my players... 5 players (Aelvenblood Rogue, Aelvenblood Bard, Human Wizard, Praxon Fighter and Aasimar Paladin) of 11th level (Don't mind the race names, from a homebrewed world Read them as fey-blooded elves and a hobgoblin-like human). Avinash and the Marauders were raiding the settlements in the north provience of the Barony of Mecklen, ruining the harvest which sustains the majority of the communitties to the south. The party managed to catch up to the bandits along a forested section of the road, the battle after the Paladin declared them all under arrest (Yes she's sent by the Baron and given the authority of a Sheriff/constable) was fierce, Avinash took a dislike to the Paladin right off and got lucky when the Paladin (who normally detects evil on anything out of the ordinary like a stray breeze) did not bother to detect evil. The cohort bit the dust but so too did the Fighter and the Bard. Most of the marauders also died but when the banner of Avinash rises again the party is gonna freak.
With the information you've added though I'm considering having Avinash try to get at the Paladin's Mount (A unicorn) which he managed to injure severely.
Anyway again Congrats in making it into the Next Round.
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4, Legendary Games
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Congrats in making it to the next round. I wanted to hand on the info about how Avinash worked in the first meeting with my players... 5 players (Aelvenblood Rogue, Aelvenblood Bard, Human Wizard, Praxon Fighter and Aasimar Paladin) of 11th level (Don't mind the race names, from a homebrewed world Read them as fey-blooded elves and a hobgoblin-like human). Avinash and the Marauders were raiding the settlements in the north provience of the Barony of Mecklen, ruining the harvest which sustains the majority of the communitties to the south. The party managed to catch up to the bandits along a forested section of the road, the battle after the Paladin declared them all under arrest (Yes she's sent by the Baron and given the authority of a Sheriff/constable) was fierce, Avinash took a dislike to the Paladin right off and got lucky when the Paladin (who normally detects evil on anything out of the ordinary like a stray breeze) did not bother to detect evil. The cohort bit the dust but so too did the Fighter and the Bard. Most of the marauders also died but when the banner of Avinash rises again the party is gonna freak.
With the information you've added though I'm considering having Avinash try to get at the Paladin's Mount (A unicorn) which he managed to injure severely.
Anyway again Congrats in making it into the Next Round.
That is completely cool and awesome that you have already worked this into your campaign. I am honored and tickled that you liked him enough to do that and happy that he seems to have worked out well so far, and really that he is working exactly as intended or designed as a villain. I think round 2 is gonna be big fun. Just make sure he's a "horse of a different color" the next time the party meets him. Maybe even a griffon or pegasus. Their fuzzy bunny slippers will run for cover.
By the way, since you are running the campaign and are off SRD, you could add the effect of a Ring of Mind Shielding to his Ring of Chameleon Power for 12K or just give him a separate no-slot ring for 16K; either would take care of any mind-reading or alignment-detecting. Just depends on how nutty you wanna be with maxing out his disguise.
Again, happy he worked out and everybody enjoyed and I'd love to hear more next time he shows up.
First, congrats on getting to the next round.
But, I agree that it makes his stat block clunky to be multiclassed. What I should have done is just give him a level or two of outsider, made him, say an “advanced half-fiend nightmare (8 HD) blackguard 5.” Much simple and more streamlined.
I have to disagree, there. Avinash is unarmoured so Evasion is very useful for him and he's trying to be disguised; which means skill points, so Rogue fits in very well mechanically.
The only thing that made his stat block clunky was having to do the maths - though you have a lot of skills too.
Well, that and the fact I think Clark's format is inherently very clunky (sorry Clark, but I think it's on a par with WotC's newer format which I think is an appalling way to layout a statblock and a waste of space to boot...)
I just converted him to my own stat block, and it wasn't too bad. Not exactly short (but that's what you get with multiclass templates), but not overly long either. The amount of stuff Rogue adds to that is minimal; most of it is the special abilities of feats and whatnot. I don't think you gain anything from dropping the Rogue levels for Outsider in terms of space.
As a subnote for whomever asked the question about empowered poison, I did mention it in the ‘before combat’ tactics section. Originally I had also mentioned it as a preferred tactic vs. small numbers of strong foes in the ‘during combat’ section but it was left off in the final form.
Yes, I see it now.
6. He can’t cast spells as a blackguard? Isn’t that kinda lame?
Meh. He has plenty of other tricks up his sleeve. Besides, one of the plot hooks implies that he is trying to work around that (get a metamagic device he can wear to do Silent and Still Spell). I had done a character build for him with those as feats, but it seemed like a big investment for the modest casting abilities he got as a blackguard. Easier to just write it off entirely. Also, some of the blackguard spell list is made superfluous with his spell-like abilities.
I'd make a point about him being able to cast spells. Hiding his divine focus might be the difficult part, but divine spells themselves are not somatically restricted really, like Arcane spells are. In my own mind, I don't see why he couldn't just substitute neighing for verbal components (after all, he's a unique right, so he 'learned' blackguard himself, yes? Therefore 'learned'how to make something lie the right focual noises off his own bat?) and hoof stopming/waving for somatics and hang his holy symbol on his saddle (or build it into a horseshoe...) Granted, that's maybe not quite RAW, but RAW has the disadvantage that the authors didn't consider nonhumans when they wrote the character classes! I think it's far more in the spirit of things to let him use his spells (heck, it's only a handful of Blackguard spells, which arent that special!)
(Using non-core RAW, you could add Nonverbal Spell and arguably Somatic Weaponry feats if you wanted to be picky about it at higher levels.)
Adding Blade, Sorry, Hoof of Blood x 2, Bull's Strength, Zeal and one of Abyssal Might, Fangs of the Vampire King or Hell's Power would not make a major power difference, but it'd be nice!
I think I might have to use Avinash at some point now...
Congratulations!
3. At CR 15, aren’t those followers and cohort dead meat?
Maybe. Sure, high-level adventurers can carve through them like nothing, but:
a. They can also be numerous enough to be annoying and distracting in combat situations, to provide flanking and aid another to the stronger NPCs or to impede the PCs and to coup de grace anyone who gets rendered helpless in combat.
b. They also can make trouble in scenarios where the PCs encounter Avinash and the Marauders orthogonally—not as direct adversaries, but coming into a situation where Avinash & Co are dealing with someone ELSE.
c. They can also provide appropriate fodder for PLAYER CHARACTERS who have the Leadership feat and wonder when they will EVER get to use their followers for something other than a line on their character sheet.
d. The cohort is not super-tough, but he’s not a pushover either. The false Avinash will be able to put up a fair fight and get some licks in.
Also, as a boss villain, Avinash should be a higher CR than the party. This villain is also designed so that a party will first uncover evidence of the Marauders and then work their way up through the gang and its plots before encountering Avinash.
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Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4, Legendary Games
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First, congrats on getting to the next round.
But, I agree that it makes his stat block clunky to be multiclassed. What I should have done is just give him a level or two of outsider, made him, say an “advanced half-fiend nightmare (8 HD) blackguard 5.” Much simple and more streamlined.
I have to disagree, there. Avinash is unarmoured so Evasion is very useful for him and he's trying to be disguised; which means skill points, so Rogue fits in very well mechanically.
The only thing that made his stat block clunky was having to do the maths - though you have a lot of skills too.
Well, that and the fact I think Clark's format is inherently very clunky (sorry Clark, but I think it's on a par with WotC's newer format which I think is an appalling way to layout a statblock and a waste of space to boot...)
I just converted him to my own stat block, and it wasn't too bad. Not exactly short (but that's what you get with multiclass templates), but not overly long either. The amount of stuff Rogue adds to that is minimal; most of it is the special abilities of feats and whatnot. I don't think you gain anything from dropping the Rogue levels for Outsider in terms of space.
6. He can’t cast spells as a blackguard? Isn’t that kinda lame?
Meh. He has plenty of other tricks up his sleeve. Besides, one of the plot hooks implies that he is trying to work around that (get a metamagic device he can wear to do Silent and Still Spell). I had done a character build for him with those as feats, but it seemed like a big investment for the modest casting abilities he got as a blackguard. Easier to just write it off...Thanks for the congrats. I agree that from a min-maxing standpoint Rogue 2 is great for Avinash. Armored or not, his AC is high for his CR, but his hit points are good but not great, so evasion certainly helps in that regard.
In terms of a 'less is more' approach for creating a contest entry, I think adding the rogue levels made Avinash feel like he was overstuffed (mechanically speaking) even if in actual fact adding 2 levels of outsider would have been on marginally less complex. A lot of people don't like multiclassing from the get-go, and with this taking a base creature, adding one class, adding ANOTHER class, AND adding a template on top--it just felt like too mcuh for some folks.
If I use him in my campaign, those rogue levels work just fine for me.
As for the spellcasting, yeah, there are lots of potential workarounds, but in trying to stay very strictly to the SRD for the contest it was easier to just ignore the spell abilities (and to imply that he was trying to solve the problem) than try to build another accessory or explanation to enable them. Given that his SLA's already did most of what he could do with blackguard spells, the actual spellcasting was kind of superfluous, although using summon monster to conjure up fiendish cats or leopards or what have you would be pretty cool to help boost the 'catspaw' motif.
(BTW, I should note that originally Avinash's fiendish companion was going to be a fiendish cat, but I decided that would be one too many red herrings, as PCs would quite likely assume, if they tumbled to the idea of the Avinash-person being a fake, that it's the evil cat behind it all!)
Just letting the horse actually speak would have been a simple expedient, but I rather liked the idea of a villain who never spoke... not directly. Telepathically, yes. Terrible urges, dreams, impulses, even commands... yes, but speak? Never. Besides, it would sort of give away the disguise!
A divine focus would be simple enough to disguise. So the animal has an unholy symbol blazoned on his forehead armor or some such, big deal. He's the mount of this vicious bad guy, why not be decorated for the part, right? Besides, disguise self also can change the appearance of your equipment, so if he wants to hide the unholy symbol that way, it's easily done.