RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32, 2010 Top 8
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Star Voter Season 6
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Gods, I love this one.
I picked up on the dingos vibe myself "Dingos Ate My Goblins"?
I love the potential conflicts of the 'natives' and settlers.
This is also a place where Psionics could develop, points there. I also like how the people work out the lack of hands.
Also a place for Goblin Spiders and Spider Eye Goblins. Who knows maybe a ritual to make Lupins? Werewolves among the colonists finding the blink dogs as ultimate prey?
Amusingly, I disgree with Eric. This gets my juices flowing for Blink dogs just as much as Pathfinder has for Goblins. Without art and with less space.
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In another thread I said that I don't have to like an idea to put my vote for it. This may be such a case. I don't like the blink dogs and I don't want to play one but I have to admit that they are very consistently depicted.
I think that you have concentrated a bit too much on the people which detracts a bit from the country. But I loved the phase spider assassins.
I'm undecided so far. I like the way you present your ideas though and I think that this is one of the better entries as far as writing style, format and consistency is concerned. I'd probably like your idea better if it was presented as an monster article.
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Plus, gamers are contrarians. If I give it an F someone has to give it an A to be smarter than me. :)
Interestingly enough , I try to comment on the entrys before I read what you, Wolfgang and Erik had to say about it. And much to my surprise I'm very often inclined to agree with your point of view (much more often than I agree with Erik and Wolfgang which is what surprises me).
So instead of being a contrarian I'd rather add my voice to the choir praising your enthusiasm, your dedication and the hard work you put in your reviews.
Marathon Voter Season 7
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Plus, gamers are contrarians. If I give it an F someone has to give it an A to be smarter than me. :)Interestingly enough , I try to comment on the entrys before I read what you, Wolfgang and Erik had to say about it. And much to my surprise I'm very often inclined to agree with your point of view (much more often than I agree with Erik and Wolfgang which is what surprises me).
So instead of being a contrarian I'd rather add my voice to the choir praising your enthusiasm, your dedication and the hard work you put in your reviews.
I must say that I find myself agreeing with Mr. Peterson as well more often than not when the judges disagree.
This entry however is one where we apparently difer. The setting is not right for every game nor every world, but I can see myself wanting to play there and it might even make me want to allow blink dog characters (and I generally loathe monster PCs).
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This is well-written and I applaud you for taking this unique stance. That being said, I just do not find a nation of blink dogs to be within the standard tastes of most gamers . . .methinks you may have reached to far for originality's sake.
That being said I liked the presentation and the writing was fairly crisp.
I agree 100%. I think the judges first reaction was WAY too harsh. I think it is a well-written and (more importantly) well-thought-out entry. As is often pointed out to me, this is a FANTASY game. A blinkdog "nation" - fantastic! So bravo dude.
... but it's not one of my 5 favorites. Still, I wish you much luck.
I like this idea alot and give yo mad props for being brave enough to try it. The write up does need some more fleshing out, but I think that any DM worth their salt who wanted to use this place could think of other relevant adventures that fit the theme of the country. And as someone said above, throwing in hell hounds, barghests, and worgs could make for some really interesting stuff.
You've got my vote!
I was rather shocked by the negativism from the judges on this entry. While this isn't my very favorite, it definitely ended up in my top 6. I think it would have been an automatic shoo-in for my top 5 if it hadn't been for the pall cast upon it by the judges.
So then I found myself looking back and forth between this one and one other entrant. And ultimately, I realized that I was trying to choose between a good choice of subject matter (which I have to admit, this probably wasn't) and a mastery of the written word.
Ultimately, this gets my vote. I see tremendous potential in this writer's skills that I don't see in a couple of my other favorites. If he can make me interested in a blink dog nation, he can probably make me interested in pretty much any actual adventure he is ever hired to write.
I do hope to see something a bit closer to the "mainstream" in the future, however. Obviously gaming the system in order to garner votes comes off as irritating, to me at least (I'm not personally a fan of the Survivor/Idol style shows this contest is based on). And Erik, I think that your writing skills and imagination will put you at or near the "head of the pack" (so to speak) without resorting to such extremes as this entry entailed. :)
Look out, Erik. We may be moving you from Sanjaya to Blake terriiory. Though Blake still finished second to Jordan Sparks.
I think this definitely is a country, so let's bring that issue to rest. This is a qualifying entry, and clearly one with a large number of advocates.
I guess my position wasn't whether it qualifies as an entry. I mean, there it is sitting there. It's that for me it doesn't add as much to my game as would, say, locales like the Boiling City or the rusted halls of Zavaten Gura. Those are evocative, interesting places that speak volumes.
While this entry is really creative, I couldn't help but picture my PC's hiking through it's rolling hills and having some dogs boink into existance in front of them and bark some very meaningful barks at them...and the characters might never even know they were in a country. Hard for me to vote for that. That's all I'm saying.
It's not an existencial quandry, or a political call to get the submission yanked. I like it. It has guts. Ultimately I'm asking myself what it adds to my game, and I'm not getting much of an answer. That's what I was talking about. Though, frankly it was really brought to rest for me as soon as I finished my point.
Just clarifying.
I have to be honest...
I began to read this and quickly lost interest. I think that it does take a lot of balls to submit this type of country in this competition, so kudos there. But, this has no appeal. This is a history report on Blink Dogs with limited usage in a runnable game. Maybe it can be used as a place for PC's to visit run a round little and then go back home? I don't know. I think that you stepped to the right when you should have stepped left on this one. I'd be curious as to what you might be able to create, but it almost feels as if you wanted to stand out to the point that in the end it may very likely be detrimental. It maybe be a new idea, but this is fits more into the Ecology of the Blink Dog...not a country. As harsh as it may sound, I do not believe that this entry should be voted into the top 16 as it does not stand up to other entries that were submitted. I do not mean to seem as harsh as this review might sound, but as I stated at the beginning I wanted to be honest which I think is a better route to travel.
Uh, this one is kind of bizarre. Scratch that, it's really bizarre and not really my cup of tea. The writing is good as is the history, but the nation is too weird for me to use. I also don't really care for blink dogs as a monster so that's a strike against it.
I didn't expect to like this one, but I really do. It's different and a bit bizarre, but it's well-written, quirky fun. My family games with me regularly: If I set a series of scenarios here, my kids would love every moment. Some of the gamers I know wouldn't enjoy adventuring in such a place, but I think it has a lot of potential.
I would like to see more about the blink dogs' interaction with other species. If small numbers of humans (or other friendly humanoids) were described in the area, it would give human characters a clearer reason to adventure there, making the DM's job easier.
Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8
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First sentence: Okay .. this had better be good.
I can see some value in listing terrain by game standard types, but it's not very interesting or informative as a description.
Marking by rock arrangements is something added to the creatures, but probably necessary to hold interest in the country.
Very good to see a Relations topic and that the author managed to detail all of the major Kinships. This is a good structure and use of word count.
The DM Secrets are great.
A bit wacky but very nicely done.
The ideas here were too good not to vote for in the end. :D
Holy $#!@!
No one can accuse you of following the crowd! You forge your own path in life! You do not follow the crowd! You are a true individual! You sir have a set of brass balls!
I can't even wrap my mind around reality right now after reading your entry. The strangeness has distorted my perception of the world.
There are so many posts before mine that I didn't even bother to read them. So, I'm sure I'll probably repeat what others have said.
I thought your entry was very well written. The writing was so clear in describing the country that I think it may be the best entry I've read with respect to how clearly things are communicated to the reader.
One problem is that it seems a bit too much of an origin of blink dogs in one part of the history description.
I liked your adventure hooks in the behind the screen section.
I loved your settlement descriptions. I wish other entries had there settlements as well described as yours.
I guess the real problem is that it seems too weird to ever see any real use. Are DM's and players really going to want to adventure in a country of blink dogs? It doesn't seem very likely.
This is a one trick puppy with nothing deeper than a random encounter would provide. I cannot picture any part of this country. Plains- What type of plain? Taiga, tundra, prairie or veld?
Apart from a high bit and and a river and a low bit, what else is there?
How does this culture interact with others?
What does this do that the monster entry doesn't?
Avoid monolithic ideas. I would have preferred a country with a variety of hooks and a paragraph about the unusual society of blink dogs that live there. You had one idea and a weak one at that.
Erik, you have my sincerest admiration and good wishes for the next round, where I'm sure you'll be next.
Good writing, good ideas, well done overall. I love primitive cultures with a shamanistic bend to them, as I posted elsewhere. I like it when someone takes a bit of uninteresting "filler" (like many monsters in published products) and turns them into something with depth and flavor, as opposed to just re-doing elves and dwarves for the umpteenth time. I personally have a difficult time imagining a PC hailing from this locale, but it is not implausible, so I join the chorus of others saying, "who the hell cares?"
I would have liked the "Behind the Scenes" section to have a bit more meat, but you used the words well in adding a bit of description to the country.
I don't know at this point if I'll vote for you (I have quite a few more to read), but if I may paraphrase Clark Peterson in another thread, you should keep doing what you're doing because it is truly you. My sincerest congratulations on your entry and your work.
M
The Blink Dog Nation
OMG! I LOVE this country!
Erik, don't pay any attention to those silly judges (especially that Clark guy...) I read this and was immediately put in mind of the Creature Crucible series settings for the "Classic" D&D campaign world of Mystara, all of which I also love:
Even if I only had one vote, the Kinships would get it. I hope enough others see the value in your "gamble" to get you through to round 3.
In the end, [charts of the shadow voyage], weathered the storm of the other 22 items very very well and ending up as my number two favourite.
I guess I'll have to try a little bit harder!
With everyone only getting one vote, coming in number two on someone's list is equivalent to coming in number 32. Yikes!
Well, in my case anyway, your "trying a little bit harder" worked!
:-j(enni)
It would have been much more interesting to me if there were caves beneath the plains, and the blink dogs were traveling back and forth between the plains and the caves.
i already liked this country and you just sealed it as my favorite. I have this image of a map of the country with an over lay of underground "roads". i have this image in my head of a blink dog leading the adventurers to some important location and standing on a hill top with the moon in the background then blinking under ground, leaving them to figure out the next part of the adventure. a lewis and clark style adventure of a party exploring this new continent with the occasional guidence of a native "sacagawea". the more i think of it the cooler it starts to sound. this mystical coming and going, never speaking but always guiding. trying to help avert war between the settlers and natives
Thank you for all the feedback so far.
I appreciate it very much.
You get my vote not only for round two but for round one as well. This is great!
I'm standing by this one, and I'm proud of the writing, the concept, and the usefulness of the country. I knew it wasn't going to be everyone's proverbial cup of tea, but I am passionate about this.
Let's prove Clark wrong and send this one on to the next round!
Well, I've just read it, and I love it! I had two or three adventure ideas pop into my head during the read through, none of which require the use of Blink Dogs as PC's. So I think it's safe to say you've got my vote; not just because I thought it was interesting, well written and original, but for the sheer balls you have in submitting it.
I am with Clark on this one completely. Beside feeling contrived I don't think a history of the blink dogs is needed since I generally assume that their ability to blink is like our ability to walk, it just comes naturally. I also am not entirely sure why everyone wants control over these plains. The goblins think there are areas of magic power there but you don't provide anything to substantiate the belief. Other than herding or agriculture I can't see any reason why people would want to go here and more importantly I can't see players wanting to adventure here. You get credit for having the balls to submit this but that is it.
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RPG Superstar 2011 Top 32
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Star Voter Season 8
aka Sect
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I love this country, but I didn't vote for it for three reasons:
It was, however, number seven on my list.
Now I'm going to have the image of a cleric casting comprehend languages and hearing a country full of "Roh roh, Raggy. Rook rout!" stuck in my head today.
Chris Moritka? THE Chris Mortika?
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RPG Superstar 2013
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Dedicated Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka Steven T. Helt
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Erik, as weird as this submission is -- I may have muttered "Seriously?" when I realized exactly what you'd created -- I'd be more inclined to throw a vote your way if you weren't trying to ingratiate yourself with the voting public. All of this "Come on, gang!" stuff really turns me off. It's unprofessional. Let your work stand on its own merits, and let your supporters do the cheerleading.
I couldn't disagree more. This is a well-written entry and has tons of merit, but it was panned early by the judges as being too 'out there'. The author - who is entitled to pimp his product without explaining anything - has a choice then: wave on the crowd and generate excitement for his product, or sit back and watch less original ideas move on to the next round.
I really think my overall top choice has to go to Vramaire, though there's a lot of subjective personal preference there. When I think of a writer in this round that makes me want to roll out a character and beat the hell out of some bad (sometimes good) guys, I think of this entry and Boomer's. I love the Vramaire entry better, but I want to see the adventure that those two guys put together.
If you are humble and tasteful, any of you can pimp your product. If you can't be excited about it, neither can I. Stand by your entries,and learn from every round. No one who tells someone else they love their own entry and deserve another shot is going to cost themselves a vote from me.
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I really like the fact that Erik took the risk to submit an entry that is so very different from what the most would expect from a country-submission.
The idea of a blink dog nation is highly original.
I never used blink dogs in my adventures, because the write-up in the MM seemed dull and boring to me and, like Sebastian already said, a waste of space.
Eriks entry really changed that, because it showed me, what can be done with these creatures.
I like it, that he took the risk to submit an entry that lacks the typical country structures and focused on a wilderness with a certain theme.
I'm glad that the judges recognized this as a country.
I really liked the inclusion of phase spiders and the gift of blinking from the ancestors and I really like the part on barghests and gnolls, because this rounds up the canine-theme of the entry.
This is cool stuff.
I guess I wouldn't use this as the base for a campaign, but I really can imagine the rolling plains as an interesting region in another country.
Travelling through this region could make a really interesting side-trek between adventures.
The names could be better (except the country name itself. Ghost hound kinship of the rolling plains sounds really great).
I didn't expect it, as I started reading, but this one will definitly get my vote, because it is very different from the rest, but nonetheless interesting and very well written.
...weird.
Struck me as one of those ecology articles in Dragon ~#200. As such, not really a relevant country entry.
half-blink / Half-Halfing race (I don't want to see how that happens)
I once created a PrC for halflings mounted on blink dogs,
Uh oh. Tell me you didn't just go there...
Seriously, this entry takes the cake for gutsy. I'm seriously considering giving it my vote.
Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
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I like the idea of a nation of blink dogs, but I would have liked more crunch in lieu of some of the descriptions of specific settlements, which weren't terribly compelling. Maybe some guidelines for how blink dogs could advance by class level, which would stray from the SRD, but make the idea of a nation of blink dogs more fun. Since the magic of the plains is important, I think some blink dog spellcasters would be cool. Maybe when their hero figured out blinking, he also unlocked spellcasting for some blink dogs too. Or martial arts: blink dog monks on the rampage against those nasty goblins.
Erik, as weird as this submission is -- I may have muttered "Seriously?" when I realized exactly what you'd created -- I'd be more inclined to throw a vote your way if you weren't trying to ingratiate yourself with the voting public. All of this "Come on, gang!" stuff really turns me off. It's unprofessional. Let your work stand on its own merits, and let your supporters do the cheerleading.I couldn't disagree more. This is a well-written entry and has tons of merit, but it was panned early by the judges as being too 'out there'. The author - who is entitled to pimp his product without explaining anything - has a choice then: wave on the crowd and generate excitement for his product, or sit back and watch less original ideas move on to the next round.
I really think my overall top choice has to go to Vramaire, though there's a lot of subjective personal preference there. When I think of a writer in this round that makes me want to roll out a character and beat the hell out of some bad (sometimes good) guys, I think of this entry and Boomer's. I love the Vramaire entry better, but I want to see the adventure that those two guys put together.
If you are humble and tasteful, any of you can pimp your product. If you can't be excited about it, neither can I. Stand by your entries,and learn from every round. No one who tells someone else they love their own entry and deserve another shot is going to cost themselves a vote from me.
Yeah, and I think many of us here have pimped this entry far more than the author has dared. Maybe we've made this too Clash chic, but blame us, not the author.
I love this country, but I didn't vote for it for three reasons:
Adventure options: The only potential conflicts I could see in this were interactions with the native race (Blink Dogs), the goblins, and the gnolls. I can't exactly see a good many adventures made without repeating in this country, unless you were to introduce new elements. Non Blink Dog Settlements: You have good detail about where the Blink Dogs live, but what about the humans, or the gnolls? I'm pretty sure that the adventurers would rather have a house or a tent to stay in rather than a den full of alien creatures that they can barely communiacte with.
I have had some similar issues and I have been hesitant to comment on this entry since I have mixed feelings on it. Creative idea and it is actually one I want to use to some extent, however I am having a lot of difficult realizing this in the current implementation. After mulling it over on how I would squeeze it into a game of my own I am opting for a bit of a more alien type of society and local. Namely to avoid a Watership Down game and allow the 'country' to be used in a more normal setting.
So two fold where my changes, the first being location. Simply making them more isolated is my thought. On a large plateau with rolling plains, similar to the one in lets say, the Isle of Dread. Then make the place taboo to the surrounding nations, which is pretty easy to do considering sentient hounds are running amok. And of course you would need a reason for adventures to take on the unknown and go into this place, easy enough to do with said lost cities and so forth (I1 Dwellers of the Forbidden City?).
Secondly my changes were to make the Blink Hound society non-traditional, I suppose this bugged me the most about the original entry. You could simply replace the words 'Blink Hound' with 'Dwarves' and still end up a legible tale. So I am opting towards an empathic social structure per pack; ala the 'pack' is the individual and the hounds are part of it. So you would have pack x, pack y and pack z and so forth and they would deal with each other as individual would.
What you would have then are three separate types of blink hounds you could run across then. The solo blink hound, basically the one you would come across in the MM. Slightly more than animal intelligence, curious, but yearning for pack to run with. Then you would have the small pack; let’s say 3-5 hounds which would be sentient, but driven mostly by primal desires still. As a group they share experiences and thus are cognate, can plan ahead, and can communicate to some extent outside the pack. Lastly you would have the large pack, 6-12 hounds which is intelligent, can make use of tools, direct communication, and has a large pool of experience to draw from - so they can be quite wise as well. This last type of pack would be the core network which among the 'nation' is built – as many of these large packs could essentially make up a society complex enough to be called a nation. The other packs would still be in the nations, just not he movers and shakers that the larger packs would be.
That said, a pack is still essentially the same as members come and go. The core mind is still there and the majority of experience as well. However, let’s say as 100 years pass the original pack that made up the group is long gone but a part of them still remains in the current members. Interesting concept since you have a good basis of collective wisdom from your ancestor, similar to lets say our oral tradition, but even tighter knit and more personal then that. Let’s call these the Methuselah packs, the ones over 100+ years old, and likely would be leaders since they would have the most collective wisdom.
Along with that you could have fractured packs where a lot of their members died and they are a shadow of what they once were. Also rogue individual blink hounds, probably too unstable to go in any pack. So right there you have two fundamental problems for the blink hound nation to deal with on a social level. A good place to start for some details on a nation if you really wanted to get into it.
So this is kind of what I am thinking on implementing in a game, as a place to visit. This could give your every day adventures some good build up before they come across the blink dog nation – a taboo place with strange ruins and stranger packs of dogs. Secondly many different encounter types with the blink hounds, from pure animal to sitting down and having a conversation over a warm cup of flavored doggy milk, ‘What do you mean you don’t like it? Grawfur over there made it herself! She ate a dozen pus rats to get that flavor you know!’. And lastly some things the blink hounds could want of the adventures – to deal with problems that they do not want to deal with. Rogue solo hounds, fractured packs that have gone insane, and a dash of strange ruins. And all this could be done on some remote plateau as to not overly influence the surrounding ‘normal’ realms.
Anyhow, sorry for babbling, snow day here :P
I like the idea of a nation of blink dogs
Wait.
This is a nation of Blink Dogs?
I think I missed that detail.
I need to change my vote.
;-)
I have to be honest. Its weird and off beat, but its well written and interesting, and it does take a monster who, to date, has been noted for opposing another monster, which it can't oppose due to the OGL, and giving them some substance on their own.
I think it would be interesting to run into whole packs of organized blink dogs, who are themselves allied to other packs of blink dogs. Not just random encounters of small bands, but entire areas controlled by them.
I like the idea, and personally, I think this is one of the more interesting entries that I've read so far. I will admit that the dog phonetic "dog sound" names are a little distracting, especially considering the titles that the dogs have (i.e. the titles obviously can't be pronounced this way in blink dog).
Overall, I really like this one.
So, very original - but I'm not sure why as a PC I would go there. Now for a Bunnies & Burrows game (or one where the PCs are a bunch of nonstandard races) I could see it... But I don't see this in a "normal" fantasy milieu.
I love this country, but I didn't vote for it for three reasons:
<snip>
Your item: I believe that your item submitted was one of the best, but what does it have to do with your country? Ships are next to useless in a plain, and Blink Dogs have difficulty charting courses without opposable thumbs.
Just FYI: there is nothing in the rules for Round 2 requiring the author to create a country that has any connection with or relevance to the wondrous item he or she submitted for Round 1.
:-j(enni)
Samuel, thank you for your Blink Dog Nation Version 2, I look forward to addressing it soon.
To everyone else, thank you very much for all your comments and feedback; I have, of course, been watching this thread very closely!
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RPG Superstar 2011 Top 32
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Star Voter Season 8
aka Sect
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I love this country, but I didn't vote for it for three reasons:
<snip>
Your item: I believe that your item submitted was one of the best, but what does it have to do with your country? Ships are next to useless in a plain, and Blink Dogs have difficulty charting courses without opposable thumbs.Just FYI: there is nothing in the rules for Round 2 requiring the author to create a country that has any connection with or relevance to the wondrous item he or she submitted for Round 1.
:-j(enni)
Hm... and this entire time, I was thinking that each round would build off the next, until the adventure written would contain all of the preceding items.
I guess my problem (weird, I know) isn't with the blink dogs. It's that blink dogs can't build a country in any way that I understand a country. If you can't put together a building, you can't have a country. It feels like a big, inhabited wilderness full of blink dogs.
I'm surprised that so many other people are saying that they're going to drop this place into an existing campaign, because my reaction was there's no logical place in my campaign where this place could exist. As far as I can tell, this place can only exist where humans and other "good" races are newcomers (as stated in the country writeup). Why? Because barring any kind of defenses or aggression, humans would have taken over these lands in a decade or two.
Now if the country had been written up to include a history of conflict with its human neighbors, that would seem much more reasonable to me. I don't know how it would fit into the whole LG Lassie picture of blink dogs that some people seem to have, but it'd be much more realistic.
I have to agree with the judges on this one. If you strip away the blink dogs this country is pedestrian at best. A "one trick puppy" as it were.
I don't think the writing is poor but if you decide to inject one major idea for a country it better pay off huge. I kept thinking while reading this why would I put this as a central country in a campaign I ran?
My only thought was what about blink dog were-creatures?
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RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32, 2010 Top 8
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Star Voter Season 6
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I'm surprised that so many other people are saying that they're going to drop this place into an existing campaign, because my reaction was there's no logical place in my campaign where this place could exist. As far as I can tell, this place can only exist where humans and other "good" races are newcomers (as stated in the country writeup). Why? Because barring any kind of defenses or aggression, humans would have taken over these lands in a decade or two.
Try to find a copy of David Drake's At any Cost. Read it and get back to me about 'taking over the lands in a decade or two.'
Blink Dog blinks 700 feet into a building, as a free action. Does a coup de grace on the sleeping captain of the guard, jumps out.
And that's a standard blink dog. A pack of them? your Fireball's going to miss half of them on a charge, since they aren't there when the firball hits.
They're as smart as humans, and, assuming they're like normal dogs, throw litters not one pup at a time. Blink dog sorcerers? Blink dog clerics? Or *shudder* blink dog psions?
And unlike the poofs in At Any Cost, the blink dogs don't need landmarks to teleport.
I have to agree with the judges on this one. If you strip away the blink dogs this country is pedestrian at best. A "one trick puppy" as it were.
That was one of the core reasons for my grade. The quality of the "design" of this entry essentailly ended on the choice of blink dogs.
Take the blink dogs out and substitute orcs or some other monster, and this is a totally generic entry with little real imagination. This entry had one idea--hey, lets use blink dogs! that would be so cuh-ray-zee!--and that was where the design ended. Even the title--blink dog nation--shows that the real thought and design that went into this was minimal--hey, lets wow them with this big off the wall idea! There wasnt any real significant theme or design based on that theme other than blink dogs.
Seriously, substitute blink dogs with dwarves or elves and what an unbelievably generic submission this is. And that is not OK. It is certainly NOT Superstar.
Weak.
Is the idea of blink dogs neat? Sure. Of course it is. But this wasnt a test of an idea, it was a test of design. Once you get the idea, you need a theme, and then you need good design to tightly fit that theme. Once the author hit that idea, the design switch went off, in my humble opinion.
Other entries lacked good themes and tight design to that theme. They were called out for it. This one lacked the same thing, to an even greater degree.
But I have a funny feeling that by grading it so harshly I guaranteed it will advance. Gamers are funny like that--rally around the underdog (literally).
If you make it into the next round, my suggestion is that you actually design something instead of just trying to grab a gonzo idea and then providing basically nothing more of interest. It may work once, but I doubt it works twice.
That said, if you make it, good luck. You got into the second round on the strength of your first round item. If you make it to the third round, it will be time for you to really bring it up a level.