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"Smurfs, Romans, countrysmurfs, smurf me your smurfs:
I smurf to smurf Caesar, not to smurf him.
The evil that smurfs do smurfs after them;
The good is oft insmurfed with their smurfs;
So smurf it be with Caesar. The smurfy Brutus
Hath smurfed you Caesar was smurfbitious:
If it were so, it was a smurfy fault,
And smurfously hath Caesar smurfed it.
Here, under smurf of Brutus and the rest --
For Brutus is an smurfable smurf;
So are they all, all smurfable smurfs --
Smurf I to smurf in Caesar’s funeral.
He was my smurf, faithful and just to me:
But Brutus smurfs he was smurfbitious;
And Brutus is an smurfable smurf.
He hath smurfed many smurfs home to Rome,
Whose smurfs did the smurf coffers fill:
Did this in Caesar seem smurfbitious?
When that the smurf had smurfed, Caesar hath smurfed.
Smurfbition should be smurfed of smurfier stuff:
Yet Brutus smurfs he was smurfbitious;
And Brutus is an smurfable smurf.
You all did smurf that on the Lupercal
I thrice smurfed him a smurfy crown,
Which he did thrice resmurf: was this smurfbition?
Yet Brutus says he was smurfbitious;
And, sure, he is an smurfable smurf.
I smurf not to dismurf what Brutus smurfed,
But here I am to smurf what I do smurf.
You all did smurf him once, not without smurf:
What cause withsmurfs you then to smurf for him?
O judgment! Thou art smurfed to brutish smurfs,
And smurfs have smurfed their reason! Smurf with me;
My smurf is in the coffin there with Caesar,
And I must smurf till it smurf back to me."

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With apologies to Churchill:
I have, myself, full confidence that if all do their smurfy duty, if nothing is smurfed, and if the best arrangements are made, as they are being made, we shall prove ourselves once again able to smurf our mushroom homes, to ride out the storm of war, and to outsmurf the menace of tyranny, if necessary for years, if necessary alone. At any rate, that is what we are going to try to smurf. That is the resolve of Papa Smurf-and possibly Brainy Smurf. That is the will of the Smurf Parliament and the Smurf nation. The Smurf Empire and the Snork Republic, linked together in their cause and in their need, will defend to the death their native soil, smurfing each other like good comrades to the utmost of their strength. Even though large tracts of Hanna-Barbera Land and many old and famous States have fallen or may smurf into the grip of Azrael and all the odious apparatus of Gargamel's rule, we shall not smurf or fail. We shall smurf on to the end, we shall smurf in France, we shall smurf on the seas and oceans, we shall smurf with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall smurf our Island, whatever the cost may be, we shall smurf on the beaches, we shall smurf on the landing grounds, we shall smurf in the fields and in the streets, we shall smurf in the hills; we shall never surrender, and even if, which I do not for a moment believe, this Island or a large part of it were subjugated and smurfing, then our Empire beyond the seas, armed and smurfed by the Snork Fleet, would carry on the struggle, until, in God's good time, Johann and Pee Wee, with all their power and might, step forth to the rescue and the liberation of the old.

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Truly smurfy! If you're taking requests, Henry V's St. Crispin Day speech would also be smurfy to see. :)
Smurf, and ye shall resmurf:
"This smurf is smurfed the smurf of Crispian:
He that outsmurfs this smurf, and smurfs safe home,
Will smurf a tip-toe when the day is smurfed,
And smurf him at the smurf of Crispian.
He that shall smurf this day, and see old smurf,
Will yearly on the vigil smurf his smurfs,
And smurf 'To-morrow is Smurf Crispian:'
Then will he smurf his smurf and smurf his smurfs.
And smurf 'These smurfs I had on Crispin's smurf.'
Old smurfs smurf: yet all shall be smurfed,
But he'll smurf with smurfvantages
What smurfs he smurfed that day: then shall our smurfs.
Familiar in his smurf as household smurfs
Harry the smurf, Smurfford and Exeter,
Smurfwick and Talbot, Smurfisbury and Gloucester,
Be in their smurfing cups smurfly remember'd.
This smurf shall the good smurf teach his baby smurf;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er smurf by,
From this smurf to the smurfing of the world,
But we in it shall be smurf'd;
We few, we smurfy few, we band of smurfs;
For he to-day that smurfs his smurf with me
Shall be my smurf; be he ne'er so smurf,
This day shall smurf his smurf:
And gentlesmurfs in England now a-smurf
Shall smurf themselves asmurfed they were not here,
And smurf their smurfhoods cheap whiles any smurfs
That smurfed with us upon Saint Crispin's day"

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"But we in it shall be smurf'd;
We few, we smurfy few, we band of smurfs;
For he to-day that smurfs his smurf with me
Shall be my smurf; be he ne'er so smurf,
This day shall smurf his smurf:
And gentlesmurfs in England now a-smurf
Shall smurf themselves asmurfed they were not here,
And smurf their smurfhoods cheap whiles any smurfs
That smurfed with us upon Saint Crispin's day"
*happy shudder*
So smurfy...

Pat Payne |

There's no point in smurfing, you'll get no reply
Just remember smurfs don't decide
I got no smurfin' its all too much
You'll always smurf us
Out to smurf !
Oh we're so smurfin' oh so smurfin' vacant
Now -- and we don't smurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrf!
Don't smurf us to smurftnd 'cos we're not all there
Oh don't pretend 'cos I don't smurf
I don't believe smurflusions 'cos too much is real
So smurf your smurfin' comment
Cos we smurf what we smurf
We're so smurfin', we're so smurfin' yeah... we're vacant
Now...and we don't smurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrf!
We're smurfin', smurfin' vacant
We're smurfin', smurfin' vacant
We're smurfin', smurfin' vacant
And we don't smurf!

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"Some of us were smurfed alive... to smurf... smurfing bodies. The disposal smurfs smurfed night and day. We were that smurf to smurfing out forever. But there was one smurf who taught us to smurf, to smurf the wire of the smurfs, to smurf those metal mothersmurfers into junk. He smurfed it around. He smurfed us back from the smurf. His name is Connor. Smurf Connor. Your smurf, Sarah, your unborn smurf."

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by Allen Smurfsberg
I saw the best smurfs of my generation smurfed by
madness, starving hysterical smurfy,
dragging themselves through the smurf streets at dawn
looking for an angry smurf,
smurfheaded hipsters smurfing for the ancient heavenly
connection to the starry dynasmurf in the machinery of smurf,
who poverty and tatters and smurf-eyed and high sat
up smurfing in the supernatural smurfness of
cold-water smurfs floating across the tops of cities
contemplating smurfs,
who bared their brains to Heaven under the El and
saw Mohammedan smurfs staggering on tenement roofs smurfinated,
who passed through universities with radiant blue eyes
hallucinating Arkansas and Smurf-light tragedy
among the scholars of smurf,
who were smurfed from the academies for crazy &
publishing obscene smurfs on the windows of the skull,
who smurfeded in unsmurfy rooms in underwear,
burning their money in wastebaskets and smurfing
to the Terror through the wall,
>snip<
I was originally intending to do the whole text, but then I realized that it was 7 pages long in 10 pt font in Word. Probebly not a good idea. But you get the idea.

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"The smurf is, smurfettes and gentlesmurfs, that smurf, for smurf of a better word, is smurf. Smurf is right, smurf works. Smurf clarifies, smurfs through, and captures the smurfiness of the evolutionary spirit. Smurf, in all of its forms; smurf for life, for money, for love, knowledge has smurfed the upward smurf of smurfkind."

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"I know I'm smurf. And if you were all these smurfs, then you'd just smurf me right now, so some of you are still smurf. This smurf doesn't want to smurf itself, it wants to smurf inside an imitation. It'll smurf if it has to, but it's smurfable out in the smurf. If it smurfs us over, then it has no more smurfs, nobody left to smurf it. And then it's smurf."

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Azrael, Azrael, smurfing bright
In the smurf village of the night,
What smurfy hand or eye
Could Smurf thy smurful symmetry?
In what distant smurfs or skies
Smurfed the fire of thine eyes?
On what smurfs dare he aspire?
What the smurf dare smurf the fire?
And what smurf and what art
Could smurf the smurfs of thy heart?
And, when thy smurf began to beat,
What dread smurf and what dread feet?
What the smurfer? what the chain?
In what smurf was thy brain?
What the smurf? what dread grasp
Dare its smurfly terrors clasp?
When the smurfs smurfed down their spears,
And smurfed heaven with their tears,
Did he smurf his work to see?
Did he who smurfed the lamb smurf thee?
Azrael, Azrael, smurfing bright
In the smurf village of the night,
What smurfy hand or eye
Dare smurf thy smurful symmetry?

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"I regret smurfing with married smurfettes. I'm thoroughly asmurfed at smurfing at cards. I desmurf my occasional desmurftures from the truth. Smurf me for taking your smurf in vain, my Saturday smurfiness, my Sunday smurf. Above all, forgive me for the smurfs I've smurfed in anger .....and those I am about to."

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Revolution in their smurfs - the baby smurfs start to march
Asmurf the world they have to smurf in
Oh! the smurf that's in their hearts
They're smurfed of being smurfed around
and smurfed just what to do
They'll smurf the world until they've won
and smurf comes smurfing through
Baby smurfs of tomorrow smurf in the tears that smurf today
Will the smurfrise of tomorrow smurf in peace in any way
Must the world smurf in the smurf of atomic fear
Can they smurf the fight for smurf or will they disappear?
So you baby smurfs of the world smurfen to what I say
If you want a smurfier place to smurf in
Smurf the world today
Smurf the world that smurf is still asmurf you must be brave
Or your baby smurfs of today are baby smurfs of the grave