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On a serious note, are the Conan books worth reading? The only fantasy books I liked were Lieber's Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser books. Are the Conan books similar in style or are they more high fantasy?
I think they are very similar in style, but REH isn't anywhere near as "tongue and cheek" as Leiber was with Fafhrd and Grey Mouser. He's way more serious about everything.
I don't think anybody does it quite like REH.And they're working on an animated "Red Nails" movie currently.
ok. here it is. Conan vs. Ripley.
Hudson: Let's just bug out and call it even, OK? What are we talking about this for?
Ripley: I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
Hudson: f*%&in' A...
Burke: Ho-ho-hold on one second. This installation has a substantial dollar value attached to it.
Ripley: They can *bill* me.
boom
If Superman picked up Conan and threw him into the Sun:
Conan would hang out for a while and enjoy the warmth. Later, when he missed his girl he would cut the Sun in half with his battle axe; the explosion would throw him back to earth.
Falling through the vacuum of space at absolute zero temperatures, he would enjoy the view on the way in and think deep thoughts about the nature of Man and existence.
When he landed he would look for Superman.
He would say, That was hot but after a while I wanted to chill out.
Bella Sara Charter Superscriber
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Naah...everybody knows I'm fulla crap anyway. ;)There's also a lot of REH purists who would say those 12 books are crap; I'm not gonna go there, but they were edited a lot by de Camp and Carter. I think in one instance, they took one of their own stories and did a name-and-location swap to make it a Conan story. I think the new volumes coming out recently are pure unadulterated REH.
Also, some people really rag de Camp for doing that and call him a hack, but I've read a few good things here and there by him.
Nice work -- Now if this list of books is new to anyone they will
read your comment and think "I do not want to read these books now."You have betrayed Conan.
Not this time. Your passion for Conan inspired me to make it my new year's resolution to read the books. Reading wikipedia, I see that they just released the original uneditted stories in a three volume collection in 2003.
What is your honest opinion HH? Original product of his day Conan or new and improved modern Conan? Which books should I read?
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Not this time. Your passion for Conan inspired me to make it my new year's resolution to read the books. Reading wikipedia, I see that they just released the original uneditted stories in a three volume collection in 2003.What is your honest opinion HH? Original product of his day Conan or new and improved modern Conan? Which books should I read?
I'd go with the REH versions. They jump around a lot chronologically as opposed to the edited de Camp/Carter series which goes in the "order" invented in a posthumous collaberation. And some of the stories are cheesecake "gotta pay the bills//get my story on the cover of Weird Tales this month." But the good stuff is gold.
BTW--if you've never read any Fafhrd/Grey Mouser, and you have an odd sense of humor, Leiber's one of the greats, man.
And Moorcock did a whole lot more than just write Elric of Melnibone. Gloriana was priceless ambrosia.
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Oh, and there's people who will argue on and on about this that make the Greyhawk vs. Eberron and the WW4e. conflagrations look like picnics...
I don't think the de Camp and Carter stuff is too horrible. I'm pretty sure their efforts helped popularize something that wouldn't have been nearly as accessible if it wasn't for their series. I just personally don't like the idea of too many people messing with something that doesn't need fixing.
yeah, Count Brass is one of my favorites of his; this thread is kinda fun though; kinda like when we were one upping each other on who the most powerful wizard was in D&D a few months back.
What about a five-way with Solomon Kane, Bran Mak Morn, King Kull, Red Sonja, and Conan?
....wait, that doesn't sound right....
And, hey, at least you didn't disagree with my statement about Lemmy drinkin' the guy under the table. HA!
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Bella Sara Charter Superscriber
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I'd go with the REH versions. They jump around a lot chronologically as opposed to the edited de Camp/Carter series which goes in the "order" invented in a posthumous collaberation. And some of the stories are cheesecake "gotta pay the bills//get my story on the cover of Weird Tales this month." But the good stuff is gold.BTW--if you've never read any Fafhrd/Grey Mouser, and you have an odd sense of humor, Leiber's one of the greats, man.
And Moorcock did a whole lot more than just write Elric of Melnibone. Gloriana was priceless ambrosia.
Thanks. I appreciate the input. Fafhrd/Grey Mouser have also been on the to-read list forever.
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I remember when I read a few of those. I think the intro page read something like "Fafhrd and the Grey Mouser: the greatest swordsmen ever, of any world..." and then I said, "OMG, this guy's a hoot." Then, I read a few stories, and all I can remember thinking is from reading the Nehwon Mytho's section in the original Deities and Demigods, I got no sense whatsoever of how funny and fun these stories would be to read.
Leiber really is a trip.
What I like is the tension between them even though their friends am companions that comes from the two wizards they work for while sent to perfore tasks like retrieve stuff. For being such great swordsmen; the old dieties and demigods didnt give them very high levels; to my knowledge they never wrote up Conan; does anyone remember seeing him in any of the Legends of the Earth section in the Dragon Mags where they used to put all the character stats for guys from books?
Probably the tuffest guy around with a sword is easily Sir Galahad; he can beat anyone hands down; no arguement; it would just happen; Conan would have no chance, none; think of any hero in any of the games and Galahad could beat them all; he was written up in the dieties and demigods as the most powerful Arthurian knight; 20th level Paladin and dont remember what else, no hero in any segment in the book even comes close to him. He is a saint and has several holy icons of power, armor, sword, the grail; only he among the living can sit on the Siege Perilous. His power and might are without match among mortals.
hehe I like you; but now I am certain you are insane :)
All I wanted was a Pepsi!
They give you a white shirt with long sleeves
Tied around you're back, you're treated like thievesDrug you up because they're lazy
It's too much work to help a crazy
I'm not crazy - institutionalized
Nice...I knew the quote, and racked my brains for like 5 mins trying to remember where I heard it.
How will I laugh tomorrow, when I can't even smile today?
Hehe some of my best buds are also insane so here you go ***poof*** one pepsi; will most of the heat extracted. Wonder if Conan would drink Coke or Pepsi :)
Been really heating up the old noodle; can't think of anyone tuffer than Galahad; will probably spend a few hours pooring over books later tonight, threads like this make me a little crazy. Some of the heroes in my Irish folklore books are pretty tuff, but dont think they can hold a candle to Galahad either. Of course, if you go by Dragon magazines; no one can beat Bugs Bunney or Daffy Duck; they gave Daffy a U for Unlimited constitution and instant regeneration. Even if Daffy cant hurt him; how do you kill a guy you cant damage; cant remember the solution Darn used in Heavy Metal.
All I wanted was a Pepsi!They give you a white shirt with long sleeves
Tied around you're back, you're treated like thieves
Drug you up because they're lazy
It's too much work to help a crazyI'm not crazy - institutionalized
Nice...I knew the quote, and racked my brains for like 5 mins trying to remember where I heard it.
How will I laugh tomorrow, when I can't even smile today?
Suicidal Tendencies, right? Remember the way that singer danced? He looked like a heavy metal dude who wanted into the Thriller Video.
Drizzt Do Urden would have no problem defeating a dumbass like Conan. One slash from tWINKLE would send poor Conan to heaven. Conan would die with a dumb expresssion on his face "how did this weakiling elf beat me?" Well, it's not about brute force, my friend, it's about skills... HOORAY
Seriously, with all due respect to Drizzt, you should never mention, in a thread where you are trying to prove that he is bad ass enough to beat Conan, that he has a sword named "Twinkle." I think Conan has "Weapons named twinkle" resistance 20 at any rate.
And speaking of Fafhrd and the Grey Mouser, what about a hadicap match against the Cimmerian?
Then again, depending on what point in their careers it was taking place in, Conan might actually end up stealing their women and humiliating them after they managed to survive a horrendous battle.
On second thought, keep that barbarian away from Cif and Afreyt . . . !
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I would also like to point out a mortal that Conan would fear: Bea Arthur. Also, Barbara Streisand could disrobe in front of poor Conan. He would pull his own head off to escape the horror.
Basil Fawlty would beat Conan senseless in seconds. All the while Conan would pitifully whimper "I'm from Cimmerron."
Okay. Sybil Fawlty and Captain Kirk could beat Conan.
That's it, though.
Who could whup Conan?
Your mama!
Bond -- James Bond.
The new one :)
"My mother is a noble woman,...from a fine family..."
My mother was a queen, my dad I've never seen, I was never meant to be.
I could take Conan with a wet noodle.
Bond -- James Bond.
The new one :)
Heh - Casino Royale rocked. :D
Bond -- James Bond. The new one :)
Who, Roger Moore?
Roger Rabbit would be scarier -- and would make a better Bond :/
If not mistaken Conan beat Marvel's Wolverine in a What If issue back in the day.
If not mistaken Conan beat Marvel's Wolverine in a What If issue back in the day.
To answer myself:
What If Issue #16, 2nd series.
Now where is my No Prize True Believer???
I could take Conan with a wet noodle.
Why bother? Pop some Viagra and go to town, dude.
I could take Conan! God created man, but Colonel Colt made'em equal -- where's my .45?
Hmmm, it is Conan -- where's my Desert Eagle?
Well Conan is just a warrior-sneak type right? A badass warrior-sneak, but still there are plenty of those in literature. Heck I don't even have to find a different author to find characters who could whup Conan; just about any channeler from Wheel of Time could put him in the dead book in the blink of an eye.
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Well Conan is just a warrior-sneak type right? A badass warrior-sneak, but still there are plenty of those in literature. Heck I don't even have to find a different author to find characters who could whup Conan; just about any channeler from Wheel of Time could put him in the dead book in the blink of an eye.
Could a channeler whup up on Yoda?