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Sir RicHunt Attenwampi's page

139 posts. Alias of Ambrosia Slaad.


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Next time you use chuul in your game, consider that at least some variants are shiny with a higher AC, possibly recyclable*, and delicious to rust monsters.

* So far, 'wampi field researchers have found none filled with tasty beer or soda.


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Celestial Healer wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:

We're watching The Great British Baking Show, it's chocolate week.

The General is screaming at everyone for the terrible, terrible things they're doing to brownies.

I'm pretty sure I remember the episode you are talking about. It was hilarious. One of the contestants even commented something to the effect of, "I am sure every viewer at home is yelling at their TV that they could have made better brownies than we did."

Hmmm... Russet mold growing on cacao plants makes better "brownies"?


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Limeylongears wrote:
I love that the Yiddish word for plum is 'floym'. A floym sounds like a particularly gentle and affectionate creature.

And much like plums, dehydrated floym meat really, um, stimulates your digestive tract. Beware kobold leaders bearing mystery jerky as a "peace" offering.


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Selene Spires wrote:
So anymore questions or cat videos for me?

Are bodega cats actually tutelaries, like kamis?


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David M Mallon wrote:
David M Mallon wrote:

"Revenge is a feast best served immediately."

- Ka D'Argo (Anthony Simcoe), Farscape

"Revenge, as they say, is a sucker's game."

- David Xanatos (Jonathan Frakes), Gargoyles

"Revenge is a sucker's game, which is why octopuseses and squids are so damn good at it."

- Me, just now


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Drejk wrote:
Fantasy Monster: Bee-Killer Dog. A dog that vomits carnivorous bees.

BTW, carrion bees are real (at least on Earth-616 anyway). Sadly, they are stingless and their vomit honey is still based on plant nectar (although apparently foul-tasting to humanoids).

...but imagine what they could be if they made alchemical "honeys"* from the carrion of various fantastic creatures in a Pathfinder setting? If they retained their stingers, what properties might their venom acquire based on their varied diet of fantastic carrion (similar to animals like milkweed caterpillars absorbing the toxins of the milkweed they consume)?

* And what kinds of meads would duerger, duerro, and possibly thirae make from such honeys? What sort of abilities would a mellified mummy made from such honeys have?


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CorvusMask wrote:
Like at this rate I won't be surprised if we will figure out what they actually sounded like somehow xD

Pssh. That's so 2016. The new hotness is figuring out what your mum sounded like.


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captain yesterday wrote:
The newer neighbors that are afraid of me really smashed the front of their car.

{nature documentary voiceover:} That seems a rather unusual and drastic choice of threat displays.

But will it be effective at keeping a herd of Yesterday aliases from descending upon them? (The answer is 'no.')


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Clearly, the best defense is to go on the offense and drink enough Corona beer to kill all the germs & viruses inside you.

{clicks Buy on beer futures in retirement fund}


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Scintillae wrote:
DungeonmasterCal wrote:
Very neat. I don't use elementals enough in my games.
Does it mean that when they do appear, they're elementals of surprise?

I would very much like there to be a Plane of Surprise.

{flips open Strunk & White's Grammoire, begins drawing sentence diagrams to summon Elemental of Style}


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Rysky wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:
Sam: No matter what else happens today, I have learned that an opossum and possum are different animals. Today is a win.
Wait what

Opossums turn clockwise to scream at their own butts, but possums turn counterclockwise.


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Lord Fyre wrote:
You may already find PF 1E difficult to come back to.

Nonsense. You just need to homebrew up a new techno-druid archetype.


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Limeylongears wrote:

Captain and Vany, tell me, for I must know.

What shade of green is Green Bay?

{sips port} Predominantly a deep shade of Anatto'd cheddar, with brackish spots of mozzarella. It's recovered quite a bit now that the SuperFund site has finished cleaning up where Missouri had been illegally dumping provel.


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Freehold DM wrote:
Tacticslion wrote:
NobodysHome wrote:
Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and math; egg bacon and math; egg bacon sausage and math; math bacon sausage and math; math egg math math bacon and math; math sausage math math bacon math tomato and math; math math math egg and math; math math math math math math baked beans math math math; or Lobster Thermidor au Crevette with a Rebecca de Mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and math.
Ah! This was math much more math like what math I was thinking, math I just math could not math remathber it. {singing:} Math! Lovely math! Lovely math!
ITS SPREADING! leaps into pool full of holy water

Unfortunately for Freehold-kun, we had already replaced his pool of holy water with Folger's crystals the Jusenkyo cursed Spring of the Drowned Lady Math Teacher...


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The Vagrant Erudite wrote:

My mind battles with a 1930s economic trend.

Given that I'm half German, this will likely end with fury, productivity, and inevitable defeat.

...And long, winding trenches dug around the IT dept & server rooms whence you shake your fist at imaginary Sopwith Camels* flying overhead?

* Beagle biplane pilots are optional.


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Freehold DM wrote:
Scintillae wrote:
Ambrosia Slaad wrote:
Scintillae wrote:
...on the down?side, it's got me listening to a lot of Queen. Which means that's going to be in my head when I run 5e people through kobold trap hell.
A kobold skald with Freddie Mercury's voice & theatrics sounds awesome.
steals

you stole it...before she made it?

Your mastery of time is awe inspiring.

{documentary voiceover:} If you do the Time Warp dance while singing from the Rocky Horror soundtrack, nothing happens. If you do it while instead singing along with Queen and orbiting around the Sun, you can actually travel through time. The grinding sound of the TARDIS as it (re)materializes is actually the temporal subharmonics of Sir Brian May's guitar amplified through a quantum badger so human ears can hear it.


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Vanykrye wrote:

Cosmo. Dude. We need to talk. My company has other IT employees, and they're perfectly capable of doing work.

I'm not the only one you have to send to the Virginia office. Again. The only person in IT that travels more than me is the CIO.

I mean, we know you have considerable, if not unlimited, pull at my company, so can't you find someone else?

Please?

I blame Cosmo that Vany has not considered doing his IT duties while channeling Willem Defoe's Tars Tarkas:

Vany: {pats server rack} "You are ugly, but you are beautiful. And you fight like a Thark!"

Vany: {every 30 seconds:} "Vor... ginya. Vorginya!"

Vany: {gestures to surroundings} "But Vorginya fights for us! He will fight the Torquas in the south. The Warhoons in the north! And he will be called Dotar Sojat!"

That should stop you from being dispatched to that particular office.

And if that fails to work, start channeling Willem Dafoe's Norman Osborn.


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Gary Teter wrote:
Do we gain and lose fat cells, or do they just inflate and deflate?

{narrated in reserved, BBC English tones:} When you're born, your fat cells are quantum entangled with another human who was born at the same time. When you lose fat cells, they are shunted off via quantum tunneling to the other person. Likewise, when they rid themselves of fat cells, the tendency is for you to receive them. This is why it is so hard to lose fat and keep it off.

This "fatty action at a distance" entanglement only ends when one of you dies. {drops a knife} Good hunting.


26) Go back in time. Infiltrate the Doctor Who writer's room; load the writers up on LSD, shrooms, good whisky, and Jelly Babies; convince them that The Doctor's 4th incarnation should be portrayed by a whimsical, sarcastic puppet of a monkey with either Tom Baker or Diana Rigg as Monkey Doctor's companion.


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I thought bikini's granted distraction bonuses to AC.


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captain yesterday wrote:

I'll have you know, cheating at Star Trek trivia is one of the three reasons the internet was invented by Al Gore in the first place.

Pornography, and more pornography were the other two.

Which is funny, because drunken Star Trek trivia is one of the three reasons why the Al Gore was invented in the first place.

No, there's nothing wrong with drinking bourbon before 11AM. Oh hush.


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Drejk wrote:
Sir RicHunt Attenwampi wrote:
Edit: Oooo, would dragons get bezoars?
I think that draconic bezoars would be composed of teeth, bones, hair, and some other undigested remains of their prey, so they would be closer to owl's pellets than cat's hairballs.

Just needs a little necromancy to animate as a bezoarombie then, or maybe as a death bezoar knight.


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Drejk wrote:
A dire tumbleweed rolls through the thread!

Do dragons get "scaleballs"? No, not some kind of draconic STD*, but like cat hairballs except scales?

Would they be magical? Semi-sentient? Ooze-like?

* I would think kobolds, half-dragons, and draconic bloodline-d humanoids would be STD enough.

Edit: Oooo, would dragons get bezoars? What would a dragon with the alchemist parasitic twin or tumor familiar discoveries be like?


Rysky wrote:
What do you think of Changelings?

Eberron changelings, White Wolf's WoD changelings, or Pathfinder changelings?


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{filling out RyskCo™ survey} If you were a PC, which would be more likely to successfully grapple you: a salt water taffy golem, a nutella jelly, or a red vines/twizzler chain devil (kyton)?


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Not a question, but a suggestion: Tea Dragons (a 50 pg comic)


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thejeff wrote:
Doktor Weasel wrote:
Saedar wrote:
Captain Morgan wrote:
I kind of prefer the long snout look so I hope it isn't completely gone.
But what happens when you boop a troll snoot?
You probably lose a limb. So I wouldn't recommend it, unless you're also a troll and can regrow it.
It's a common game among young trolls.

So that's where the game "Got Your Nose" came from.


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Master Pugwampi wrote:
Hey! Who is using the Rysky mind control device on Selene to make her lightly obsessed with answering questions?

{muffled:} We're learning stuff. For example, we now know she probably isn't familiar with most 1990s Lou Reed lyrics. {bangs clipboard of "scientific" questions on large peanut butter jar trapping his noggin}

Lady Spires, can you recall the last time your head got stuck in a jar?


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Freehold DM wrote:
Lacy Pellazar wrote:
I am TERRIFIED of cows.
that is a random thing to be afraid of...

Every year, cows kill more people worldwide than sharks, crocodiles, jellyfish, snakes, and spiders.

{whispers:} Also, Skrull-cows.


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Chris Caldwell wrote:
Cosmo: I am an excellent cuddler. I am very giving and thoughtful in my cuddles.

{nods} Supernatural abilities delivered via touch attacks bypass worn armor.


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TOZ wrote:
Asmodeus' Advocate wrote:
Who's manipulating who now? And to what end?
Pay him no mind. Tensor is Paizo’s Deepak Chopra.

I still suspect Tensor is an emergent AI.

So, Deep Thought Chopra.


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You could make a cardboard door prop and go reverse trick or treating.


high G wrote:
high G wrote:

People who can't learn how to do Calculus annoy me.

Quite frankly, the >Catenary< problem has always annoyed me, and even Galileo made reference to its suckage.

A catenary sounds like a PFRPG hybrid critter waiting for Rawr!badger or Drejk to stat up.


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Quartz: "An ice shelf in Antartica is making eerie noises"

Quote:

What started as a quest to watch the activity of the largest ice shelf in Antarctica turned into one to hear it instead.

On Tuesday (Oct. 16), researchers led by a team at Colorado State University published a letter describing an accidental discovery (paywall) on the Ross Ice Shelf: while using sensitive seismometers to study the ground below the huge ice shelf (about the size of Spain), they found they could also pick up a sound frequency emitted by the snow as it vibrated due to wind and melting activity.

“We discovered that the shelf nearly continuously sings at frequencies of five or more cycles per second,” the researchers write (emphasis theirs). Although these frequencies are too low for humans to hear naturally, when the sounds are sped up, they sound like the warbly, ominous introduction of a monster in a horror movie.

American Geophysical Union (AGU): "This is what an Antarctic Ice Shelf sounds like" (Youtube)

I'll remember these sounds the next time I watch John Carpenter's The Thing.


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KingOfAnything wrote:
PossibleCabbage wrote:
...I'm a little less clear on where the leaf druid fits though. Is "I do Plants" such a broadly applicable thing that this is a reasonable choice for a wide variety of campaigns? Having diplomacy as a signature skill seems great for a druid in a more urban campaign, but there aren't going to be a ton of trees around.
Just because there aren't trees, doesn't mean there aren't plants. Leaf makes a lot of sense as an urban druid, encouraging window boxes and community green space.

I'd like to see at least one Golarion city set aside a "central park"/greenspace area for druids to rest/recuperate in tree shape. If the druids assume tree form when no one is looking (at night), the residents might get used to the idea of a park/greenspace that looks different each morning. It'd be a good place for kids to play, families to picnic, and festivals to be held. Just make sure there are copious signage explaining how harvesting or harming the trees is strictly prohibited and enforced.


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Just a Mort wrote:
But... But... Vincas are so pretty...and the Madagascar periwinkle is used to treat cancer.

Useless trivia: The main bay-side road on Sanibel Island is Periwinkle Way. They used to plant periwinkles all over the island until they figured out how invasive they were. A small sidestreet roughly midway down Periwinkle Way is named Vinca Way.

Edit: I'd heard the morning glory seeds are hallucinogenic thing too, so I'd never even considered eating them. Hibiscus blooms are nice in a pitcher of sangria, and squash blossums are tasty.

gran rey de los mono wrote:
Eating corn is the easiest way to see how fast your digestive system works.

Ah, a more modern and personal equivalent to the Dutchman's log (Purely serendipitous punnage)


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The Game Hamster wrote:
The real victims of the whole affair are the half-elves, who have too many cooling methods, which only helps in desert climes, and everywhere else makes them rather chilled. In dessert climes, though, they have to bundle up even more at night than most.

[unsourced "biology"] Half-orcs and humans recognized this "too cool" effect early on, and often employ half-elves to sit in food pantries to cool the perishables. Half-elves make excellent wait staff, with their touch chilling the average beer stein by 5°-7° F just from a few seconds of skin contact.

Dwarven brewers would seem to benefit the most from an association with half-elves, but they inherit the dwarven tendency to be dumb. [/"biology"]

Edit: I think I have that exothermically backwards, now that I think more about it. I'm beginning to suspect my halfling pipeweed may be spiked with a hallucinogenic adulterant.


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Drejk wrote:

I don't like sweating, but it's apparently one of the skills human got that makes them so unbalanced race to play.

Huh... Does that mean that elves sweat less or don't sweat at all?

Does that mean that dwarves and gnomes sweat even more? (though in case of dwarves it would be impractical in underground conditions, maybe they have other heat emission solution?)

[unsourced "biology"] Elves don't sweat out toxins, or even poop very much. However, when they are away from non-elves, they cough up large castings/pellets. If humans knew this, I suspect there'd be far fewer half-elves. [/"biology"]

The Game Hamster wrote:

Halflings are the real wild card in this sweat discussion, since their feet are unable to sweat, which is the most sweaty part of every other species in the homo genus, for minor cooling purposes.

of course the smaller stature may mean an increased average body temperature anyway, but even in small homo sapiens, this is not noticeable.

Halflings, being Small, have a larger surface area to volume ratio, so that helps with cooling. [unsourced "biology"] Likewise, they have additional lung gyri, which increases their effective heat exchange during respiration (and interestingly, also increases the effectiveness of substances like halfling pipeweed). The real secret, however, is the hollow hairs on their feets, which act as heat exchange pipes to shed additional heat into the surrounding air. [/"biology"]


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Selene Spires wrote:

I am at 7892 posts with allias...so...somebody else can do the math.

And if we don't use allias...do I count Selene's post my actual and John's as my allias...this has to be the most confusing part of coming out as Trans...;)

I assumed that you are like Kirby. You still retain all your own unique talents and abilities, but you've also added all of John's as well. :) So you count all his posts and favorites as yours now too.


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master_marshmallow wrote:
Misleading title, I see no beards.

You should be thankful. That lady dwarf's beard is so lush, so soft, and so lustrous that elves would weep in despair at the sight of it, their own hair feeling like mangy, tangled steel wool in comparison.

Upon seeing that lady dwarf's beard, hobgoblins would go mad with envy, as their minds become covetously obsessed with stealing her wondrous hair to make wigs for their own follicly-deprived pates.

Upon catching but a glimpse, a halfling would shave themselves entirely bald including their beloved feetsie hairs, and join a monastery after taking a vow of everhairlessness.

Upon spying such luxurious locks, a tengu would sell all their baubles, gewgaws, and sparkly gems for but a single hair to line their nest. But woe the innocent tengu hatchlings: upon seeing such a majestic hair, they would know only sorrow at all life's treasures being hopelessly dull and mundane in comparison.

If the masterful Wayne Reynolds even sketched the beginnings of such a beard, he would be kidnapped away by some billionaire, chained to an easel, and forced to spend the rest of his life painting masterpieces that would never grace the pages of another Paizo product.

That lady's beard is rendered invisible by powerful magics to maintain the peace throughout the multiverse. Be thankful.


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EltonJ wrote:
Sir RicHunt Attenwampi wrote:
Some real world bugs have evolved actual toothed gears in their legs, so I don't find the bantrids that outlandish.

Can you find an alternate article? Popular Mechanics makes you pay to read it. There has to be something on youtube to explain it. And Bantrids can't stop. If they do, they hyperventilate until they pass out.

Oops. I clicked through from a Google search results (insects with gears) and didn't get a message from PM about logging in/subscribing. Sorry.

I went with that article because it had neat animated GIFs of the gear action. Try one of these links instead:

Smithsonian Magazine
Nation Geographic Phenomena Blog
Cambridge University on Youtube (You can ignore last half of video)


Some real world bugs have evolved actual toothed gears in their legs, so I don't find the bantrids that outlandish.


Big Lemon wrote:
I will allow my players to play a bantrid but DEMAND that they make silly driving noises when doing so.

And equipped with banana peels and an assortment of koopa shells.


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I haven't read the Cluster series, and I only checked out Barlowe's from the library many years ago, but wasn't the polarion's sphere an "egg" or an egg container for future offspring?

Maybe the bantrid's sphere starts as an unfertilized egg (eggs?)/ovum (ova?) that the growing bantrid covers up with layers of nacre and necessary trace minerals? Perhaps the nacre contains RNA and epigenetic coding that an individual bantrid "writes" into each layer based upon its life's experiences and environment? When bantrids mate, they exchange spheres, in the process fertilizing the new sphere's ovum. While the growing offspring gestates, the prospective parent build up their fat and carb stores. A baby bantrid dissolves/eats the minerals and ancestral memory/RNA/epigenetics encoded in the nacre sphere. When the baby bantrid is ready, it uses acid to dissolve a plug in the sphere and hatches free. Over the following days, the parent deposits a new ovum in the now hollow sphere, fills it with new food stores and nutrients, and then secrets a plug to repair the hole in the sphere.

Edit: OK, this seems to contradict the text in Pact Worlds that says bantrids reproduce by budding.

Also, it just now occurs to me the bantrids may have a deity/deities/legendary characters similar to the King of All Cosmos and the Prince from the Katamari video games.


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Subparhiggins wrote:

Don't you see? The greatest thing about having a Catfolk iconic...

Would be that they would have to DECIDE what Catfolk actually look like. Are they anime-style cat people with just ears and tails? Are they Thundercats style human shaped hybrids? Are they actual cat anthros? Which?? It drives me crazy. I've rationalized it to myself and to my players that they're just like Khajit in Elder Scrolls and they're born with different levels of cat based on phases of the moon.

https://img00.deviantart.net/1223/i/2012/144/0/c/catfolk_by_infraberry-d50x vsa.jpg

https://pathfinderwiki.com/mediawiki/images/thumb/d/de/Catfolk_monk.jpg/250 px-Catfolk_monk.jpg

PF2e catfolk's appearances are still variable, as detailed in the Schrödinger ancestry.

Tengu, surprisingly, will have two ancestry options available initially: southern fried and karaage.


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Mark Seifter wrote:
Hythlodeus wrote:
On the positive side of things, that also means dwarfier dwarves. And I admit, that DOES sound exciting
In one of our high level playtests, we accidentally had a poison with a DC that was way too high (so we fixed it, of course). But the coolest part was that the dwarf was so dwarfy by that point that despite the fact he couldn't make the save, he just toughed it out to the end and was still pretty much fine afterwards.

{pours another shot of Ol' Janx Spirit from the Klein bottle} So... dwarves can take beard familiars*? Or is it a hairy wart familiar*, similar to alchemist tumor familiars? Can dwarves take a feat to gain hair-based cohorts (see Table 5–2: Beardership)?

* A dwarf is still limited to one bonded magical creature/coiffure, including familiars, summoners' beardilons, or the intelligent magical blackbeard gained from the beardbound archetype.


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Selene Spires wrote:
Sigh...who gave Pugwampi access to the internet?

When Bell Labs were deciding what dial-up modems' handshaking should sound like, they used pugwampi yodeling as their inspiration.


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Feros wrote:
Rysky wrote:

^w^ Oh Minty Chewy Slaadi

... *starts chewing on the minty goodness*

Actually, Slaadi are Chaotic Neutral. So that should be minty entropy.

;)

{wheels out whiteboard, starts attempting to prove Ragnarok Hemsworth is actually made of Wint-O-Green Lifesavers}


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lisamarlene wrote:
Perhaps other Neil Gaiman fans will understand what I mean when I say that this evening I was driving home through the rain wearing a black leather moto jacket, listening to a Best of Queen mix on the MP3 player in my car, and wondering why my car wasn't magically being transformed into a Bentley.

I really hope they use some convincingly expensive CGI in the upcoming adaptation.

You must be careful though. MP3 is a lossy compression, and may thusly drop out some of the important bits of the magick. It could transform your vehicle into a Morris Marina (keep an eye out for falling pianos) or something far worse, like a Pontiac Aztek.

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