Kyr's page

I only had a Top 17 in my keep folder. I am surprised the amber robe and the two crowns weren't in. I thought they were utterly awesome cinematically.

13. stormtide jar

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!

I would greatly appreciate comments/critiques from anyone who would like to take the time to offer feedback.

Thank you.

Oh and if anyone would like to use this item in their game - please do.

Stormtide Jar
Aura Strong Evocation; CL 15th
Slot --; Price 6,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.

Description
Crafted from painted clay vessels of the type used to carry potions stormtide jars are coveted by many aquatic races. When hurled to the ground and broken a powerful wave explodes and sweeps forward. The wave created by a jar can be up to 100 feet wide and 20 feet tall (depending on the space it is created in). This magical wave lasts for one round and moves at a speed of 90. The power of the wave is such that it inflicts 6d6 of force damage to any creature caught in its path (3d6 for structures)creatures in the area of effect are entitled to a fortitude save DC 25 for half damage. In addition, creatures or objects that are huge or smaller caught in the wave's path are thrown backward half the remaining distance of the wave (i.e. a creature caught 20 feet from the wave’s start point would be moved 35 feet) and take additional damage of 1d6 per 10 feet of movement. Further any creature moved by the wave is knocked prone and must make a fortitude save (DC 20) or be dazed for 1d4 rounds. A stormtide jar is destroyed when used.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, create water, telekinesis; Cost 3,000 gp

Hello fellow gamers,

I am looking to start (or join) a D&D Game North Western NJ, that I and my son can play in. We are in Sparta, NJ in Sussex County.

My son is ten, and is interested in Minecraft, and I have talked to him about how D&D with friends is better. It is my hope that (like me) playing D&D will spark an interest in mythology, folklore, and reading.

I would like to play 3.5 (because I have the books) - and I am happy to run the game (it would be a kid friendly Faerun type homebrew).

Feel free to post here or email me at noel.scott@gmail.com if you are interested.

65) Flask of Raging Waters
The Good: Cool name, like its a flask, water bending image is clear to me.
The Bad: Its a fancy whip/slam attack item, the fact that its water is meaningless except as fluff.
The Ugly: can I use it to drown someone, nope. Can I target it with a cold spell and freeze it? Not clear This thing would need all sorts of errata.
Overall: 1 simple change from say water to mercury/quicksilver and I lose allot of issues because water is more real world application to me so I want to apply physics to it. Lower middling, make it mercury upper middling, I know I'm weird.

GM_Solspiral.

Thanks!

FWIW - tried to make it so that the flask could be used for any liquid - water, wine, holy water, acid, mercury (if thats your thing) and would add those properties if relevant. Sorry that wasn't clear.

I thought about drowing but drowing takes a really long time in combat terms - and given the word limit and practicality I decided to stay away from it.

I didn't think about the freezing - but that because the water is moving, moving water is tough to freeze - i.e. its 5 degrees at my house and the very sluggish creek outside doesn't freeze that plus the magical nature of the flask and freezing isn't likely. Though a GM could choose to rule differently.

Sorry it wasn't clear enough for you though - I'll remember that for next year.

Thanks for taking the time to comment.

Wings, Resplendent Battle

The description is nice.

Its odd to me that wings don't have flight or speed as part of their function - or that the physical space they occupy does act to shield the wearer or allies.

Then the abilities you selected aren't that linked - they didn't work that well for me - sorry.

Hi fellow contestants and judges!

Here’s my entry. Please tell me how the ethos swarm charm fell short in your eyes, and really be honest. I’m serious about writing and need to understand where I went wrong. Don’t hold back, you won’t hurt my feelings. If someone already mentioned the thing that bugged (no pun intended) you, then feel free to “+1” their comments so I can see how many people hated the same thing(s).

Thanks for taking the time.

Ethos Swarm Charm

Congratulations on making the effort to submit - Its an interesting excercise.

FWIW - this item appears to me to be little more than a spell in a can with a few constraints - that make the description more cumbersome but not more interesting.

Not that the item is useful - or even preferrable to some of the winners in a campaign its just doesn't come across as superstar.

Sorry - if it makes you feel better I've submitted every year and haven't made the cut yet.

N. Edward Lange wrote:

...where's neil spicer when you need him? his posts were so prolific last year i thought for sure he'd be posting comments by now.

Nope. Neil has a newborn son (named Noah) and a looming Paizo deadline to deliver on. It's why he opted out of being a judge this year. I've popped in here and there to offer some advice (mostly to the Top 32) and opinions on a few subjects (like the "Women in Gaming" thread), but I know better than to get sucked into the crush of trying to provide item feedback and critiques here when I've got so much else going on in my life right now. Maybe next year.

Congratulations on the new addition!

Doppelganger’s Locket

Aura moderate transmutation, conjuration, and divination; CL 9th
Slot neck; Price 26500 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
This dull silver locket, bearing the image of a doppelganger’s featureless face on its exterior, hides a gruesome secret. The locket contains an extradimensional space akin to that within a Bag of Holding, but of variable volume as described below.

It Hope my critiques aren't to harsh - but I'm trying to be concise and do severl while kids let me, the FWIW I didn't think much of this item - I didn't get the focus on the corpse, or the dancing around the holding of the corpse - mechanically you can buy an at will "Alter Self" item for 8,000 gp and make it for half that. Plus most lockets don't weigh a pound.

If your gong to have someone do all that mucking around with a corpse they should get something for it - some knowledge the person possessed prior to death - access to their uncast spells, their skills or something.

My two cents - I hope its helpful.

Gloves of the Confident Smith

Aura faint divination and enchantment; CL 3rd
Slothands; Price 630 gp; Weight –
Description
These thick, leather ironsmith’s gloves cover the wearer’s hands and forearms nearly to the elbow. Whenever the wearer succeeds on a skill check, he may choose to have the gloves become charged, granting a +2 competence bonus...

IMO its going to be be hard to make a skill bonus superstar even if you get to reroll a check - not that its a bad item or badly written - its just not interesting - If you were going to submit an item thats effects are so basic it should have some really strong floavor text to set it apart - again there's nothing wrong with the description in the submission its just bland. And the bit abpout having to succeed at a check to activate the items is cumbersome to get a +2 to skill check.

My two cents.

Chelish Silver-Tongued DevilThis silver masquerade mask is adorned with black feathers rumored to be of erinyes origin.

Once per day, the wearer may attempt a touch attack as a standard action while grappled or kissing a creature within one size category of her. A successful touch attack ejects a viscous, silver substance from the wearer’s mouth into the target’s mouth and throat, occluding his airway and causing the target creature to begin suffocating (see Pathfinder RPG Core Rulebook, page 445). A DC 20 heal check will dislodge the substance and a successful dispel magic will cause the silver substance to dissolve. Regardless, the substance dissolves 10 minutes after being created.

I like the idea of mask items, I liked the idea of a kiss attack with a mask, I liked the use of erinyes feathers. I didn't like a mask as an aid to diplomacy, and I didn't like the description of how diplomacy was impacted. I also didn't think the mechanics of the attack where clear or related to diplomacy (I think an item needs to kind of stick with a theme.

Also I think referencing page numbers is a mistake.

I hope that helps you next year - Interesting item.

Gentleman’s Ensnaring Cane

Aura strong evocation; At the start of the holder’s next turn, or if the holder prematurely unpins the cane or fails to maintain contact, the cane absorbs the desperately objecting imp and ends all magical effects (possibly causing falling damage).

The holder can only activate a gentleman’s ensnaring cane while the unabsorbed imp remains atop. If absorbed, the indignant imp sullenly reforms atop the bare cane at midnight.

FWIW, I think the idea of a magical cane or walking stick is very cool and something worth exploring.

I thought the description text was pretty good too (though IMO mithril is over used as a material in most descriptions). I kind of liked the idea of what the cane did too.

That said I thought the description of the mechanics was rocky. I also would have preferred a physical to a dimensional anchor effect.

Hope that helps you next year.

Flask of Raging Waters
Aura Moderate Evocation; CL 12th
Slot none; Price 32,000 gp; Weight 1.0 lb.

Description
These items appear as ordinary flasks embossed with aquatic symbols.
When unstoppered the liquid within flows out and hovers in a wreath around the wielder (releasing liquid from the flask is a standard action). While the liquid from the flask is active it can attack in the manner of a whip or tentacle. This watery tendril can attack any target within a 20’ radius of the flask’s wielder without penalty and without invoking an attack of opportunity. The number of attacks, BAB, ability bonuses, and feats are made as if the water was a light melee weapon with which the wielder was proficient. In order to use the water as a weapon the wielder simulates the attack he wishes the water to make in the air. The liquid does 2d6 of lethal or non-lethal damage as desired without penalty. Further, if the wielder chooses to fight defensively or use total defense in addition to the standard penalties and bonuses they gain a shield bonus of +2 or +4 to AC respectively. The liquid in the flask can be used any number of rounds. However if the flask wielder chooses to take actions that do not involve using the liquid (spellcasting, using a different weapon, etc.) for more than three consecutive rounds the liquid crashes to the ground and cannot be reactivated. However the flask functions normally again once it is refilled. When the wielder wishes to stop using the liquid under his control he can will it to return to the flask as a move action.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, create water, spiritual weapon; Cost16,000 gp

I feel pretty good - I was pleased with my item, and honestly with the other I created that I chose my submission from - it was (IMO) not like other items I had seen, cinematic, and quirky.

If word count wasn't an issue I would have tweaked it a bit more - but I thoink I got the flavor across I wanted to.

I was also really pleased with the number of items I was able to come up with - a number of which, while maybe not superstar are to my mind really pretty cool.

Regardless of whether my item advances I enjoyed the exercise and I think the constraints of this contest are helping me become a better writer of items.

I like my archetypes too - I would love to have the opportunity to submit one of them and get some feedback.

The number of submissions is against my moving forward - but I feel proud of my submission and that I stepped up and submitted something.

Great post - Great reply:
FWIW - I thought my item rocked. I get that it didn't fair well by comparison, and that's okay - hopefully I'll get some additional constructive feedback, but - I liked it, I liked the way I presented it, and now I need to own it as "my child" - it didn't advance - kudos to the people who did - it just means their submissions rocked harder in the context of the contest.

Thanks Luthia
And thank you Clark - this whole thing must absorb a huge amount of your team - please know that the myself and the community appreciate it.

Luthia wrote:

I take one lesson away from this commentary, more than anything else: to practice my trust in my own design choices, even over feedback from others, when I like what I'm doing.

Luthia, that is a great thing to learn. I think it is not just key to RPG Superstar but also to life. Trust your gut. It's always better to rise or fall on what you believe in than to do so on stuff others think. We so often say we are looking for "mojo," but really that is mostly just spark, inspiration and passion. That doesn't come from someone else's idea, it comes from your idea. If you dont believe in it, your item wont have that spark or passion. Design comes from the head, yes, but passion from the heart. I want both. And you can tell an item that has that heart in it. The best way to get that is to make choices you believe in and run with them. I'm glad to see you come to this conclusion from this contest. Great insight.

RonarsCorruption wrote:

Traveler's Cap
So, this is a hat of disguise that you don't control, and allows you to make knowledge checks. Not really exciting. Add to that that you missed commas in your price, and make a point to call out that it will change based on the gender of the wearer, you have a clear impression of someone who is trying, but hasn't quite hit their stride. Try to veer a little further away from existing items next time.

Okay, I appreciate the fact that you looked at my item, thought about it, and wrote down your impressions for my consideration. Having said that, I can't really take anything helpful away from your thoughts as I both disagree with them completely and feel you've completely missed the point.

No, it is not a hat of disguise that you don't control and allows you to make knowledge checks. Far too much emphasis was placed both by you and the judges on the numeric qualities of the item. It doesn't exist to give a skill buff; the buffs are seasoning, not meat. The item exists as a tool of cultural assimilation. What a hat of disguise does for one's appearance, a traveler's cap does for one's personality, speech, and body language. Making it a hat, and therefore mutually exclusive with its close cousin, was a conscious choice, not an error of cleaving too close to an existing item.

To tell a stranger, based on one (very small) submission that they have not "hit their stride" is supremely arrogant and ill-informed, by the way, and not appreciated. The very best you can say about my professional credentials is that by virtue of having entered this competition I don't have a cover credit on a published gaming book, and that is all. Your credentials do not entitle you to any source of wisdom and authority I couldn't claim, myself.

Joseph,

I understand your feeling - I also did not make the cut and to some degree (initially) I felt the "point" of my submission was missed. But here's the thing - the item you (or anyone else) submit is not in your campaign with your players, with there nuiance and idea of play - the item you submit is relative to all of the other items of that price range in Pthfinder with similar mechanics. The job of the judges is to evaluate the items empirically in the context of other similar items, other submissions, and similar prices, and look at not how your games work - but how they could be abused would be used in any game including those not heavy on story and role play - it really does come down (to some degree) to, "what does this thing do mechanically" - is this developer creative, clear, concise, and innovative within the framework provided - and the judges have to looks at several hundreds of submissions and comment in a tight time frame - they can't really labor over a given submission. There were a lot of items selected that none of my characters would want, and most would never be part of my game, or would simply be sold/donated/destroyed - but that is function of my taste not necessarily a reflection on the quality of the item or the submission.

I hope you'll submit next year and continue to create you're own material.

Kyr wrote:

Corsair’s Dream

*This is a major step up from the apparatus of the crab (or Kwalish).

First I wanted to say think you to all the judges for taking the time to read and evaluate my submission - and for Neil to comment - I get that there are a ton of items for you guys to cull through and that not all of them (including mine) were worthy. Its a lot of work to comment on all of the submissions.

I also realize that I took a risk with a submission that was a ship and so expensive - my goal was to submit something different that could really stand out - and that adventurers (and players) would get a kick out of finding, seeing, and having (if they could figure out how to get one). I also felt that there was an opportunity for "state level" magic - the kinds of things kingdoms would have.

I would welcome any further comment on my submission from judges and the rest of the board.

Thanks again - Maybe something backpack sized next year.

Night Monarch Vardo
Basilisk’s Eye Sight
Spellbreaker Gauntlets
Raptoring Gloves
Shadow Box

Thank you in advance for your feedback.

Corsair’s Dream

Aura strong conjuration; CL 20th
Slot: -- Price: 250,000 gp; Weight: --

Description
These vessels typically appear to be masterwork sailing ships of the design favored by pirates, privateers, and smugglers, with runes carved into the keel and stitched into the sails.

A corsair’s dream however is more than a mere sailing ship. Elementals bound to the sails and keel make them exceptionally fast, multiple unseen servants crew, maintain and clean the vessel, and extra-dimensional spaces allow them hold more crew and more cargo than even much larger vessels. Because of its enchantments a corsair’s dream differs from standard sailing ships as followings:

Defense
AC: 10; Hardness 10
Hit Points: 1200
Base Save: +10
Special: Self Repair: 2 hit points per round

Offense
Maximum Speed: 240 ft. (current) or 90 ft. (muscle); Acceleration 45 ft. (current) or 15 ft. (muscle)
(Because of the elementals bound to them a corsair’s dream can move through completely frozen waters at one third their normal speed)
CMB: +12; CMD: 30
Ramming Damage: 12d8

Description
Crew: up to 80 (because of the enchantments no crew is actually required)
Cargo Capacity: 400 tons

Special
Captains Quarters: an extensive suite of rooms and amenities as per mage’s magnificent mansion.
Crew Quarters: each crew member has their own stateroom.
Ship’s Table: enchantments provide food and drink sufficient for all aboard three times per day.
Captain’s Key: control over the vessel and its enchantments is gained by possession of a magical key unique to that vessel.

Construction
Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, greater planar binding, mage’s magnificent mansion, make whole, permanency, rapid repair; secret chest, unseen servant; Cost: gp 125,000

I kind of felt the same way - I loved my idea, I thought it was cool (the folks I game with seemd to like it too).

I even thought that it addressed an issue (though not one that comes up often) in the game.

Congratulations to those who won - I do hope that a lot of folks will comment when the thread for items that didn't make the cut opens up.

Did anyone use a "Black Water Dragon" as there inspiration for the submissions they were working on/planning?

In the games I have played in Bardic Music – with the exception of inspire courage - seems to be of limited utility – not that there aren't circumstances where you can use it – but the impact is limited and application cumbersome.

What are the community think of the following alternatives:

For Bards the perform skill is itself different – because it is core to what the class is:

When Bards gain ranks in perform, their skill and proficiency improves in not just perform type but 2 plus the Bard's ability score modifier in intelligence or charisma whichever is higher. One of these perform types is a spoken Heroic Song/Speech – the others the bard can choose as they wish.

(I think this has to be the case otherwise "Inspire Courage" a key ability to the class is effectively unusable – the bard needs to be able to fight or shoot or move in combat and most instruments need two hands, as does juggling, dance, etc.).

In addition, if the bard chooses to forego direct participation in combat and use both hands to play an instrument (which also eliminates the Bard's dexterity bonus to AC if any) to inspire courage the range of ability the bonus conferred is an additional +1 and the range is doubled.

One of the things I like to play with is balancing alternative in a class – and creating custom classes.
What do the Lords of the Board think of the following trade for Bards:

Trade Bardic Knowledge for an additional 2 skill points per level.

For what its worth - I would love to see a supplement of mystic prosthetics - I think the would be a really cool way to tune both PCs

trollgarden wrote:

THE MORTEVOYANT EYE

*...Who knew there was a slot called "empty eye socket"...? And what's with all the items requiring that? This is the second one I've seen today. Is there a theme going on in games whereby people routinely lose their eyes or willingly pluck them from their head so they can cyborg themselves with the latest greatest magic gemstone as eyeware?

Neil - Thanks so much for the reply.

I got the SAIK thing on my own review after reading your other posts.
I liked the well written comment - then got sad as it dried up that was kind of funny.

I never run evil games I was actually thinking of this for a good character - its interesting what other people read.

With regard to pricing (for anyone still looking) I fingured the hit point consumption more than offset the relatively low price.

I am glad I went wit the Tattoo - I had a half a dozen items or so I thought were worthy - I saw variations on most of the others, I like that even if it wasn't quite up to superstar level it was unique. Hopefully that made it at least a little more interesting for the judges - and my peers who take a look.

Again - Thank you for taking the time.
I'll try harder next year.

I completely get that Neil is kind of done with this project - I went through the thread and was unable to find his comments - though having read many of the others I can kind of see myself why this item didn't make the cut as "Superstar."

I still think it is neat but maybe not innovative enough.

Even if Neil shies away from this thread going forward I would appreciate any comments on execution.

Thanks.

Hell Brand Tattoo

Aura: strong transmutation; CL 12th

Slot: --; Price: 92,000 gp; Weight: --

Description
Mages claim the eldritch power of these bizarre markings comes from a demon bound to service and trapped within the darkness of the ink. When discovered as treasure, hell brand tattoos are found as pots of liquid pigment (equal to a potion vial). If unstoppered the spirit in the vial reveals its purpose and power, and if welcomed, flows onto the bearer of the vial to form an intricate arcane design. It takes 2d4 hours for a hell brand tattoo to settle into its initial design and become active. Once bonding is complete the tattoo comes alive, shifting with the moods of the wearer and whispering into his mind.

Once bonding is complete a hell brand tattoo confers the following abilities:

* +4 insight bonus to AC
* Darkvision 90'
* Inkshift: The tattoos shift and roil allowing the wearer to change form as with an alter self spell.

* Inkforms: Hell brand tattoos can flow off the wearer's body to create simple tools or weapons (claws, swords, (though nothing with moving parts) lock picks, tools, or articles of clothing. These items are non magical (though they are considered masterwork). Inkform items are part of the character's body and cannot be thrown, shared, or separated from the character.

The process of bonding a hell brand tattoo permanently consumes 4 of the wearer's hit points. The spirit in the pigment also imbues the wearer with an unmistakable taint of darkness:

* Constantly radiates evil
* -4 to diplomacy checks
* Hell brand tattoos once applied cannot be removed

Only one hell brand tattoo may be worn at a time.

Construction
Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, alter self, darkvision, minor creation; Cost: 46,000 gp

I think my item submission: Hell Brand Tattoo was skipped over - or maybe that in itself is a testament to how much improvement I need to make - even if it is cold, I would sincerely like the feedback.

If it I have misunderstood the sequence and it is still in the queu I apologize - not trying to line jump.

And thanks to Mr. Spicer and all of you taking the time to comment on the item submissions.

I haven't played for some time but want to get back into it.
Anyone looking for a player in Ann Arbor?

Hell Brand Tattoo

Aura: strong transmutation; CL 12th

Slot: --; Price: 92,000 gp; Weight: --

Description
Mages claim the eldritch power of these bizarre markings comes from a demon bound to service and trapped within the darkness of the ink. When discovered as treasure, hell brand tattoos are found as pots of liquid pigment (equal to a potion vial). If unstoppered the spirit in the vial reveals its purpose and power, and if welcomed, flows onto the bearer of the vial to form an intricate arcane design. It takes 2d4 hours for a hell brand tattoo to settle into its initial design and become active. Once bonding is complete the tattoo comes alive, shifting with the moods of the wearer and whispering into his mind.

Once bonding is complete a hell brand tattoo confers the following abilities:

* +4 insight bonus to AC
* Darkvision 90'
* Inkshift: The tattoos shift and roil allowing the wearer to change form as with an alter self spell.
* Inkforms: Hell brand tattoos can flow off the wearer's body to create simple tools or weapons (claws, swords, (though nothing with moving parts) lock picks, tools, or articles of clothing. These items are non magical (though they are considered masterwork). Inkform items are part of the character's body and cannot be thrown, shared, or separated from the character.

The process of bonding a hell brand tattoo permanently consumes 4 of the wearer's hit points. The spirit in the pigment also imbues the wearer with an unmistakable taint of darkness:

* Constantly radiates evil
* -4 to diplomacy checks
* Hell brand tattoos once applied cannot be removed

Only one hell brand tattoo may be worn at a time.

Construction
Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, alter self, darkvision, minor creation; Cost: 46,000 gp

I try to play in this forum every year as well - some pretty cool stuff in the reject bin - I am geeked to see what the winning items look like.

Below are a couple of my rejects - comments welcome.
If they ever happen to make it into one of your games please let me know.

Saddle of the Grassland Knights

Aura moderate conjuration; CL 14th

Slot: --; Price: 94,500 gp; Weight: 20 pounds

Description
Popular lore holds that the riders of the Great Grass Sea do not saddle their mounts. As with many legends this one is not entirely true. Crafted by the prairie mages for the mighty war elk they ride to battle, saddles of the grassland knights would be prized as works of art even without the enchantments worked into their leather. Steeds that wear these items are imbued with a number of supernatural abilities. The primary attribute of these saddles is to grant the mount wearing them the power to move as if it were a phantom steed spell (a speed of 20' per caster level, to a maximum of 240, as well as the other caster level based abilities). The armor class and hit points of the mount saddled are unchanged. In addition, a mount wearing a saddle of the grassland knights gains the abilities Woodland Stride and Trackless Step. The rider's character level is used for the purpose of determining the caster level of the saddle's spell like effects (though there is no limit to the duration).

Construction
Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, phantom steed; Cost: 47,250 gp

Death Mask of Amryn Sul

Aura moderate necromancy; CL 6th

Slot: --; Price: 28,800 gp; Weight: 2 pounds

Description

First crafted by the necromancer Amryn Sul to both interrogate and mock adversaries who perished as a result of his fell power these masks have since been reproduced by a number of practitioners of the dark arts because of their usefulness.

Sculpted as the face of a beautiful androgynous youth, these masks are typically crafted from polished bronze with the holy symbol of Urgathoa the Pallid Princess inlaid in cold iron in the position of a tear at the corner of the right eye. The mask has two functions:

* When placed on the face of a corpse and a command word is spoken the power of the mask allows the speaker to ask the corpse 3 questions as though a speak with dead spell has been cast (though without the 10 minute casting time). This ability may be used up to 3 times per day.
* When placed on the face of a corpse, and a command word is spoken, the corpse rises as a zombie under the control of the speaker. The corpse is animated only so long as they wear the mask. This ability may be used 1 time per day.

Construction

Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, animate dead, speak with dead; Cost: 14,400 gp

Wizard's Hearthfire

Aura faint varied; CL 3rd

Slot: --; Price: 9,000 gp; Weight: varies

Description

A wizard's hearthfire is the hub of many a spell caster's home. A wizard's hearthfire can be housed in any manner of objects depending on the creators taste, oven, fireplace, even a lantern or candle. They are however always crafted as a source of warmth and light for the home they serve. Regardless of the object used to host the hearthfire, it said the trick behind the creation of these items not enchanting the object but in binding a spirit to the flame to fuel the magic.

The magic of wizard's hearthfire keeps the house it serves perpetually warm, clean, dishes washed, beds made, laundry folded, etc. In addition, the hearthfire grants the master of the house the following spell like abilities:

* Unseen Servant as a personal attendant.
* Light
* Mage Hand
* Mending
* Open/Close
* Prestidigitation
* Spark

Perhaps the most interesting power of a wizard's hearthfire however is that it can, at the discretion of the master of the house, grant these spell like abilities to up to 6 servants or guests.

Construction

Requirements: Craft Wondrous Item, Unseen Servant, Light, Mage Hand, Mending, Open/Close, Prestidigitation, Spark; Cost: 4,500 gp

Maybe they could remake Hawk the Slayer ;-)

Yours is actually in there, toward the bottom, underneath BRACERS OF THE IRON LORD.

And thanks for getting on these Clark! Don't stare too hard at the screen, though. :D

My bad - thanks Fish - What exactly is meaning of "TheFishCometh"?

Okay, in order to make your job easier, I've compiled a list of submissions from where you left off. Hopefully I didn't miss any. In hindsight, I probably should have marked the name of whoever submitted what. I would go back and fix that problem, but I'm afraid my eyes will spontaneously begin to bleed. Click the spoiler if you want a big@$$ list:

My item didn't make your list.

Item: Rogue's Deck
Submitted by: Kyr
Page 5 of the thread

I know why I was auto rejected but I would like feedback on the item.

Locally famous Otyugh!

Gulga-Cench[b][/b]

I hope you like it Neil! I sure enjoyed drawing it :)

Great drawing

Thanks Curaigh!

I read the gnome.
I liked the gnome - the a sort of suffocating gnome Jack the Ripper and the undermining the city bit.

I wasn't such a fan of the description - I thought the motivations goals would of been a better description.

Definately a villain as opposed to an encounter and not over the top with power - just nasty - well done!

Kyr wrote:

A "VILLAIN" needs to be more.

Kyr, I really liked your points, but what I'm wondering about is if the Round 2 guidelines really make it clear what "more" it turns out that this contest is really seeking when they ask for a "villain".

Because judging from the responses to all the Round 2 submissions, I get the sense that when the people of Superstar say "villain", they really mean "Big Arch-Villain" and DO NOT (did not) want somebody mid-way up the villainy totem-pole.

Thanks - I am honored that someone who made the cut actually valued what I had to say.

To be clear, I am not looking for an arch villain. Though if the villain you wrote up was for middle to high level characters that might be the case.

I don't dobt that the guidelines could of been more explicit but I thought they were pretty clear.

To try and be clearer - a villain I think to some degree at least has to work through others. And uses more than brute force. A villain sets things up.

A non arch villain example - Urrak leads a team of five goblins. He send his goblins in shifts to gather information on caravans passing through his woods. Urrak knows the best natural choke points and terrain exceptionally well. He has meet with great success over the last two years. He typically begins with an ambush (using multiple prepared crossbows) and goes after the beast of burden and if possible damages the carts - to slow them down. Before things go to far however Urrak and his team with draw. The road is set with a series of traps. These are intended not to kill (though they often do) but to get the caravan to use spells, tools, etc. and tire themselves. Urrak spies how the caravan handels these traps to assess there level and measure the amount of risk he wants to take on subsequent attacks. Next comes stealth and attempts to assassinate the caravaners while they sleep. A favorite tactic is to drop a packet of poison into the water or food - but if defences are light a slit throat is a welcom bonus. A nighttime attack follows to disrupt sleep (and spell recovery) - poison crossbow bolts, pots of oil to set fire to tents - but again they fade away after or two rounds. This continues until all of the caravaners are dead or until they flee leaving behind their cargo. With preparation, prepared hiding places, good gear, and a timeframe beyond just a single encounter, Urrak and his team have defeated caravans and adventuring parties far beyond the ability of most goblins.

Sorry long winded - but in the example Urrak is a villain - not an arch villain, but a real threat - largely because his planning horizon is beyond a single encounter, he works with a team, and because he plans, and because he has a motivation - in this case wealth (doesn't need to be all that sinister to be bad news).

Crazy doesn't really work that well - not that it never does, many people sight the Joker. Well the Joker is kind of the exception that proves the rule - AND he has been done. But even he plans, works through others, AND has resources - in the Dark Knight his first act was to bank roll his operation to the tune of millions of dollars.

Now that said for Superstar, the villains should be Superstar - its easier to make an interesting villain with an cool back story when you have some levels to work with - which then leads to Arch Villain status - but I don't think its a requisite.

I don't know if that helps clarify - but I hope it does ;-)

Any comments on the Eco-Terrorist?

At least he isn't druid (actually dislikes them).

I didn't make it to the second round but to better prepare for next year I would love to have this villain critiqued - thanks in advance.

Smaragd Volnot Eco-Terrorist
Male Treant Wizard 15

Description:
Tall and twisted at Smaragd Volnot appears to be no more than an ancient walnut, he is however far more. Over the centuries Smaragd has grown bitter and hostile toward all the races of man and their encroachment and contamination of his forest home and its denizens. To protect his forest (and all wild spaces) Smaragd has declared war on the pestilence known as civilization. Smaragd's battle began as a holding action, a fight to maintain balance between the world of men and the wild. However after centuries of failing to halt the advance of men Smaragd has rededicated himself to his cause and is taking his war to the cities and the cultivated lands that support them. Smaragd uses friendship, persuasion, coercion and magic to organize like minded woodland creatures into a powerful confederacy of hate toward men and their kind.

Motivations/Goals:
Smaragd works to reclaim and reforest the lands stolen and corrupted by men of all races. As a treant Smaragd is not bound to the morals and conventions of men. Smaragd is completely intolerant of all men regardless of race or class, he is however intelligent enough to use them to advance his plans and will sometimes feign allegiances to gain intelligence or resources that advance his cause.

The rest of the entry is above - I don't why I couldn't quoate the whole thing.

Dear Zombieneighbours,

Reread the first sentence you are absolutley right it needs work.

I don't see pirates as anti-heros - but I take your point.
I guess I just kind of liked the idea of a real criminal running the criminal organizations - but know one knowing. I also liked the logsitics of being at sea both keeps her away from the day to day and exposure to the authorities and allows her to deliver the information and maintain control over multiple areas. Though I readily concede that has a lot to do with how I see perceive management in general.

I will have to think about the plot hooks.

THANKS FOR THE FEEDBACK!
I appreciate the time and thought!

If anyone else wants to pass comment on my item please feel free to do so

Duellers Polishing Cloth
Aura Faint Evocation; CL 3rd
Slot --; Weight --

In my opinion (the only one I have) this is a perfectly serviceable lo level magic item - and even an interesting idea.

But: it is basically just a couple single use light spells bundled together with an extraordinarily long casting time (relative to the spell itself). And the cost for 5 uses of light at 1,000gp makes it prohibitively expensive for the level of PC that would find it advantageous. Also why add flare to the construction - light alone is enough.

Also the name makes me think of something that enhances the users abiltiy to duel - this item basically turns your blade into a torch - I get you have to see to duel but the item isn't about duelling so for me the name doesn't work.

Its an interestng item, and kudos to you for coming up with an interesting low level item - for my money that is much harder than developing a high level one.

There is nothing wrong with it - its just one of those things that I don't thtink most PCs would care very much about having - and so while good is not "Superstar."

I hope that is useful to you.
And again kudos for an interesting idea.

I was kind of hoping someone would jump on the two I posted so far.

This thread seems to have pretty much been abandoned.
(Or maybe the villains I posted are too lame to comment on).

Maybe tonight I'll try to comment on some other peoples'.

I didn't make the cut so take my counsel for what its worth but:

Insanity as the reason for villainy - not that it never happens - or that insane people can't make good villains, but insane people can't organize themselves most of the time much less truly significant or interesting threats. Then to be a good villain has followers of some flavor - most beleivable PCs/NPCs don't wouldn't want to follow a leader who could be clearly described as insane.

Because its EVIL Bad guys that do bad things because they are evil are just lame in my opinion. Same with CHAOS.

No Money in it Greed is a fantastic motivation for any bad guy especially a villain. If the villain isn't going to get rich or powerful when his plans succeed then it is probably not a very well thought out villain in most cases.

No Plan The villain is a powerful NPC but doesn't have any reason to be there, or have plot that has a realistic chance of success. Heroes take the longshots, villains have a long term plan.

Basically, I personally prefer a more literary game. That means I like my bad guys to have good reasons for what they do. I like them to have logical backgrounds that have lead them to the dark side and I like for them to have motivations and story arcs that provide a logical context for the nasty things they do.

The motivations and background provide IMHO the best hooks.

I get that doing this is difficult - but IMHO that is the difference between a monster and a villain.

Plus in the wild world of fantasy role play there are plenty of interesting monsters that are evil - vampires, demons, dragons, etc. they don't NEED a motivation - what they are is there motivation.

A "VILLAIN" needs to be more.

Also a HUGE pet peeve of mine is villians that have resources for the PCs to capture that don't use them to stop the PCs I mean what the heck - how did the jack-a-ninny get to a villain in the first place if he keeps his magic, money, minions, and mansions safely away where no one can hurt them.

A villain uses his/her resources - his "lair" is protected - think about a lich spends centuries plotting - of course it will have protected his home with traps, magical, mechanical and otherwise, he will have agents providing him with intelligence, he will have escape routes bolt holes, creatures/minions to protect him.

And I respectfully disagree with Mr. Schulz - a "Villain" (as opposed to a bad guy) should be some sort of mastermind - perhaps not with a vast criminal network - but with plans and multiple players in them that he is manipulating.

I am also fan of the villain who has interesting retainers - not just hapless redshirts. I like even better when the villain hides behind one of his retainers.

Two coppers from a guy who pretends to be a blue elf

I don't like to be negative, especially regarding other peoples work, but I was disappointed in the villains in general.

I didn't think all of them were bad. Some of them were perfectly fine encounters, and some of them had some interesting imagery - but none of them were villains, none of them were even encounters I would bother to use.

Mostly though I was surprised at that only a couple even made any sense, they were little more than just weird NPCs. Of course it may be that I am a bit bitter - and even if I had advanced I concede that I may not have been able to write them up as well, which is obviously critical in a contest like this. But I liked ALL of my villain ideas better and some of mine were pretty cliche.

I just wish I could of seen one or two where my reaction was, "Now thats cool," or, "I wish I had thought of that."

Hopefully some of the other rounds will be more fun to read.

I am a $%&*£$% idiot.

Some others have already commented the same - my item was auto rejected and should of been.

I was the dolt that put the lengthy costing notes in along with my entry. I honestly did think that we were supposed to include our costing notes with the item, and that those note were "separate" from the submission word count - I fully realize that there is no reason I should of thought that, that the instructions do not allude to that, and that EVEN IF it were true the notes I submitted were well beyond what was necessary to do that.

So back to my original line, "I am a $%&*£$% idiot."

My only excuse is that I when I have submitted items in the past, costing note were requested, and I pulled the trigger on my superstar submission very late (in terms of my local time and was a bit punchy - yet another reason I am an idiot). Not that advancing is life and death to me but I should of acted at least as professionally towards this submission as I do my day job.

Now the fact of the matter is that even if I hadn't got a bad case of the keyboard trots my item probably would not of advanced. I think it was fun and clever (at least it would of been in the context of the games I have played in) but it probably wasn't superstar. But to actually go out of my own way to eliminate myself - well thats something special.

Thank you for providing the opportunity to vent.

It is my sincere hope that even though my submission was autorejected in its extended form - that some of the folks on the boards will see it and use it and have some fun with it.

I didn't make it to the second round but to better prepare for next year I would love to have this villain critiqued - thanks in advance.

Smaragd Volnot Eco-Terrorist
Male Treant Wizard 15

Description:
Tall and twisted at Smaragd Volnot appears to be no more than an ancient walnut, he is however far more. Over the centuries Smaragd has grown bitter and hostile toward all the races of man and their encroachment and contamination of his forest home and its denizens. To protect his forest (and all wild spaces) Smaragd has declared war on the pestilence known as civilization. Smaragd's battle began as a holding action, a fight to maintain balance between the world of men and the wild. However after centuries of failing to halt the advance of men Smaragd has rededicated himself to his cause and is taking his war to the cities and the cultivated lands that support them. Smaragd uses friendship, persuasion, coercion and magic to organize like minded woodland creatures into a powerful confederacy of hate toward men and their kind.

Motivations/Goals:
Smaragd works to reclaim and reforest the lands stolen and corrupted by men of all races. As a treant Smaragd is not bound to the morals and conventions of men. Smaragd is completely intolerant of all men regardless of race or class, he is however intelligent enough to use them to advance his plans and will sometimes feign allegiances to gain intelligence or resources that advance his cause.

Schemes/Plots:
As a treant Smaragd's machinations have much longer time frames than most human plots. However Smaragd knows that many of his allies lack the focus and discipline to stay with plans that may take decades to bear fruit so he typically has several plots moving in parallel to fit the attention spans, energies, and abilities of his allies. Some of Smaragd's schemes are known to the surrounding settlements others are not. Some that are known are:

• The destruction of the roads, aqueducts, merchant caravans and lines communication passing through lands under is control.
• Smaragd and his agents use bribery, deception, extortion, and magic to fuel political disputes and drive the nations of men to war. Smaragd uses these same techniques to support a variety of criminal activities that make men weak.
• Not all of Smaragd's activities are destructive, his war also includes the reclamation of lands recovered from the plow and reforestation of woods harvested by loggers.
• Smaragd dedicates a significant amount of his time and energy (and that of his allies) to the mystical fortification of his woods.

Adventure Hooks:
• The PCs are hired as guards for a logging operation (or caravan or construction project) in Smaragd's wood.
• The PCs are commissioned to recover a magic item captured by Smaragd's terrorists.
• The PCs find themselves lost in a forest under Smaragd's control.

Sean I would love to read your comments. Thank you.

Rogue's Deck

[b]Aura Weak illusion; CL 5th
Slot -- ; Price 27,000 gp; Weight 1/2 lb

Description

These enchanted decks of playing cards grant those lucky enough to possess them with the ability to perform a vast array of card tricks (including tricks that would be impossible with a conventional deck). Rogue's Decks grant their users a +10 bonus with regard to perform checks using card tricks. Further, Rogue's Decks allow users with ranks in perform to make perform checks with the deck as if their ranks were in the perform style "card tricks." In addition, users of a Rogue's Deck can throw a card or cards at targets as weapons. Thrown cards fly towards and strike targets in precisely the same fashion as missiles generated by a magic missile spell save that cards inflict only 1 point of damage. For the purpose of determining the number of missiles, range, and other variables the effective caster level is equal to one half the user's ranks in perform. Cards thrown are never damaged and reappear in the deck as soon as they make impact.

Construction

Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, magic missile, prestidigitation; Cost 27,000 gp.

I didn't make it to the second round but I would love to have my villain ideas critiqued.

Captain of the Mithril Talon - Sorya Sparrowsong
Female Air Genasi Martial Rogue 4/Bard 6/Warlock 8

Description:
A rare beauty even as child Sorya was captured as plunder by the pirate Ymric Hellrazor. Normally Ymric would have simply given her to the crew but he sensed something of magic in the girl and "adopted" her as daughter and mascot.

Tall and lean with sky blue skin and midnight black hair that glitters with stars, Sorya would be striking in any arena. In the male dominated world of piracy Sorya is truly unique. Always impeccably dressed (something she demands of her crew as well) at sea Sorya's clothing is practical and suitable for work on a warship. In port Sorya dresses as appropriate to a woman of quality, her only visible conceit to her profession is her rapier Quill which is at her hip at all times.

Underestimated as a mere brigand Sorya sails from port to port pulling the strings of thieves' guilds in more than a score of coastal cities. Over time, select crew members "graduate" to the thieves' guilds of the port cities Sorya frequents. These agents gather the information that is the Mithril Talon's most valuable cargo. Brokering this information has given Sorya vast wealth, and through wealth, the power to control more than a score of thieves guilds along the coast.

Motivations/Goals:
Sorya the pirate is well known. Sorya the information broker, Sorya mistress of thieves is unknown to all save her agents. Sorya always manipulates the guilds through agents and is very disciplined about keeping her true role and power secret. Sorya is ambitious, but uncomplicated, she wants to maximize the profit of her criminal empire and enrich herself and her crew. With her wealth, ability, and network of agents Sorya knows she could be a potent political power but she loves life at sea and the adventure and even the violence of piracy.

Sorya is fiercely loyal to those who are loyal to her and the abuse of one of her agents often results in the cruel demise of the offending persons.

Schemes/Plots:
Sorya holds the nobility in contempt. She revels in finding and trafficking information that keeps the wellborn at each others throats. Sorya prides herself on knowing everything worth knowing in her ports of call and is constantly implementing minor schemes to collect it or sell it.
Sorya's current pet project is engineering the fall of one of the Great Families to avenge the death one of her favorite agents.

Adventure Hooks:
• The PCs kill, capture, or harm a valued agent.
• Sorya recruits the PCs to her crew and they learn her true role in the region.
• The Nobles sense the thieves know too much, and that their resources run too deep, they commission the PCs to investigate.
• The Nobles realize they are being manipulated and the PCs are tasked to find the source of the information that is fueling their conflicts.

Clark please review my item.
Thanks in advance for the feedback.
Anyone else who would like to review it is more than welcome as well.

Rogue's Deck

Aura Weak illusion; CL 5th
Slot -- ; Price 27,000 gp; Weight 1/2 lb

Description

These enchanted decks of playing cards grant those lucky enough to possess them with the ability to perform a vast array of card tricks (including tricks that would be impossible with a conventional deck). Rogue's Decks grant their users a +10 bonus with regard to perform checks using card tricks. Further, Rogue's Decks allow users with ranks in perform to make perform checks with the deck as if their ranks were in the perform style "card tricks." In addition, users of a Rogue's Deck can throw a card or cards at targets as weapons. Thrown cards fly towards and strike targets in precisely the same fashion as missiles generated by a magic missile spell save that cards inflict only 1 point of damage. For the purpose of determining the number of missiles, range, and other variables the effective caster level is equal to one half the user's ranks in perform. Cards thrown are never damaged and reappear in the deck as soon as they make impact.

Construction

Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, magic missile, prestidigitation; Cost 27,000 gp.

Clark, please review my item.

Healer's Lute

Aura Moderate conjuration (healing); CL 7th
Slot --; Price 64,000 gp; Weight 1/2 lb

Description

Crafted from dark mahogany and inlaid with silver these enchanted musical instruments grant a +10 bonuses to perform checks made playing them. In addition, healer's lutes greatly enhance the healing prowess of those with the power of bardic music.

Each daily allotment of bardic music channeled through the lute allows the musician to heal a single creature a number of hit points equal to his perform check. Alternatively, rather than restore lost hit points the musician can channel an allotment of bardic music to cure disease, cure blindness/deafness, or remove curse. Use of any of the healing powers of the harp require at least five minutes of uninterrupted play.

Construction

Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, cure serious wounds, remove blindness/deafness, remove curse, remove disease; Cost 32,000 gp.

Clark, please critique my item.
And thank you in advance the feedback is appreciated.

The other item I put together that didn't make the cut.

I wish I had the room for more flavor text.

Healer's Lute

Aura Moderate conjuration (healing); CL 7th
Slot Body; Price[/i] 64,000 gp; [b]Weight 1/2 lb

Description

Crafted from dark mahogany and inlaid with silver these enchanted musical instruments grant a +10 bonuses to perform checks made playing them. In addition, healer's lutes greatly enhance the healing prowess of those with the power of bardic music.

Each daily allotment of bardic music channeled through the lute allows the musician to heal a single creature a number of hit points equal to his perform check. Alternatively, rather than restore lost hit points the musician can channel an allotment of bardic music to cure disease, cure blindness/deafness, or remove curse. Use of any of the healing powers of the harp require at least five minutes of uninterrupted play.

Construction

Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, cure serious wounds, remove blindness/deafness, remove curse, remove disease; Cost 32,000 gp.
_______________________________________________________________________
NOTES

The cost on this was a little difficult. The +10 bonus was easy enough, 10 squared times 100 or 10,000. But the healing since it requires the use of bardic music, is based on a perform check rather than a spell, has alternative healing effects, and has a minimum effective casting time of five minutes the pricing is sort of non-standard. For that I used cure serious wounds as the base – 3rd level spell squared times 2,000 or 18,000 and then tripled it. Thus the total cost of the item is 64,000 which felt about right.

Kyr wrote:

FEY WAR HARNESS

Aura Strong abjuration, moderate transformation, moderate illusion; CL 16th
Slot Body; Price 162,000 gp; Weight 3 lbs

Description

These powerful enchanted garments were first conceived by the Warlord Yphrinne Wintermane. After falling victim to a pixie ambush Wintermane realized the potential of trained pixie warriors. The problem with trained pixie warriors as Wintermane soon discovered, was recruiting, and working with pixies. After years of failed (and sometimes embarrassing) efforts Wintermane struck on a new idea, a winged harness that conferred many of a pixie's abilities upon the wearer.

A fey war harness is a leather cuirass inlaid with mithril scrollwork and mounted with mithril buckles. This cuirass is mounted with four (human scale) insect like wings crafted from magebound winds.

On donning a fey war harness the wearer gains the following abilities.

• +5 armor bonus to AC
• Damage reduction 10/cold iron (as a pixie)
• Fly 60 ft. (good)
• Greater invisibility at will (as with a pixie activation or deactivation as a free action)

Wearing a fey war harness precludes the use of armor or the use of magic cloaks or robes.

Construction

Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, energy resistance, fly, greater invisibility, mage armor, stoneskin; Cost 81,000 gp.
_______________________________________________________________________
NOTES

[i]A +5 enhancement bonus to armor costs 25,000.
There is no set formula for damage reduction in the SRD so I used spell resistance as the model – 10,000 gp per point – so 100,000.
For the flight aspect I used wings of flying 54,000.
For greater invisibility I used 4th level spell times 8th level caster times 2,000 equals 64,000.
Thus the total cost is 243,000 – however because the use of this item...

Oh boy :)

A couple things.

1. Way too long.
2. I dont want all those notes.
3. Way overdone backstory....

Thanks for the honest feedback.

Can of Whoop Ass
open up to activate