Claw, the Giant Monkey's page

*Amid playing the bongo drums, breaks all the flugelhorns and kills all the goblins.*

*Then starts beating a Gong.*

*Gets bored, smacks away The When and goes elsewhere.*

*Chases Pulg's Fairy Trombone Orchestra (but doesn't kill them or break their instruments).*

*Devours all the pigs (but leaves the blankets).*

*Points at The When and alerts Timemaster7.*

*Runs off with the pair of glasses.*

*Runs by, making a horrendous noise with the cymbals that have been stolen from Pulg's Fairy Cymbal Band, and getting chased by an angry Pulg with a "repurposed" tennis ball launcher.*

Sticky Toffee
Bubblegum flavoured doughnuts
Death by tin of sardines

*Grins nastily, face and hands covered in blood.*

*Goes looking for Kong yet again while Fish-Malkovich continues to try and eat High G.*

*Briefly stops looking for Kong to attack Pulg's Fairy Monkeyboard trio.*

*Goes rampaging through the jungle, looking for Kong, so to kill him.*

*Nods whilst grunting in an approving manner.*

*Grunt.*

*Climbs onto Dr Pirate's shoulder, fully aware of the size difference, and crushes him.*

*Grunting laughter.*

*Hits Pulg really hard because of his terrible spelling and grammar.*

*Meanwhile, Partylf Sunev is fed sandwich after sandwich by GoatToucher.*

*Chases after Saucy Saxofon Fairy Pulg, mouth foaming with animalistic lust... Or perhaps rabies.*

*After the demonstration, finds the Monkeyboard Trio and relentlessly bullies them.*

*Mauls every last member of Pulg's Fairy Trombone Orchestra to a most horrible death.*

*Destroys all of the trombones and smashes all of the bongo drums as well.*

*Leaves, whilst sporting a triumphant look on the face.*

*Having watched the carnage, Malvel says: "I'm really beginning to see a pattern here."*

*Eats the last of Dr Pirate's parrots (which means no more implants).*

*BURP!*

*Maliciously sniggers in the delight of ruining Dr Pirate's medical efforts.*

*Giant monkey goes bananas and destroys Pulg's fairy bands.*

*Grunt, grunt, screech!*

*Breaks down the wall furthest away from the heroes, snarls menacingly and then flees back the way he came and disappears before anyone can react.*

*Holds a receipt showing that KahnyaGnorc was once exchanged for a boatload of adorable puppies that were to be turned into ice cream.*

*Screeches in horror and revulsion to what Pulg has just said.*

*Spots the Monkeyboard Trio, goes over and maliciously bullies them.*

*Sinisterly laughs and claps hands in evil joy.*

*Munch, munch, munch.*

*Devours the last of Pulg's bands and scatters the remains of all their instruments across the jungle floor.*

*Sinister grunts of joy.*

*Grunts in acknowledgement of Snow White's Mother being the one to sit down on the large, uncomfortable, hideous looking chair in the universe. And is very glad to be in the jungle on a nice, comfortable branch.*

*MURDEROUS RAMPAGE!*

*Belches, causing the skull of Sergeant Baskerville to shoot out from the mouth and hit Vidmaster7 on the head (who is thankfully wearing a helmet this time).*

*Grabs Sergeant Baskerville with tail, brings him to the hammock, then eats him alive.*

*Vomits on Pulg and his brother Pulgh.*

*Throws an array of rotten fruit at everyone (except Malvel).*

*Leaps from the tree branches onto Comte de Malodor, crushing him, then pulverises him. Afterwards, bows to Lady Blackmoor and Dowager Comtesse de Malodor and then returns to the jungle.*

*Jumps up and down on the tree branch in anger and sadness, for not being acknowledged in dealing with Gruumash.*

*Calms down a bit and starts to cry.*

*Pounces onto Gruumash and then drags him back to the trees where he is horribly mangled.*

*After answering the call of nature, sits on a low tree and throws rotten fruit at Pulg and his various bands (accidentally hitting Vidmaster7 with one). Then laughs because Comte de Malodor is promptly stabbed in the back by both his mother and his sister.*

*Grunts and screeches.*

*Uses the claw on the end of it's tail to viciously stab The CLAW multiple times until the mothman is dead (or at least eliminated).*

*Turns to face IHIYC, whilst climbing into some nearby treetops.*

*Sees strange, multicoloured object growing on a vine above my head.*

*Inquisitive grunt.*

*Grabs the object, pulls it off the vine.*

*SNIFF, SNIFF.*

*Notes a pleasant aroma.*

*CHOMP!*

*Begins to eat it, only to discover it's a fruit.*

*BLEAGH!*

*Vomits the contents of my mouth onto Vidmaster7 (somehow, as he's nowhere near the jungle) and throws the rest of the fruit away in disgust. Only for it to go straight into the face of Dowager Comtesse de Malodor, causing her two children to laugh uncontrollably.*

*Sees something odd in the hammock, picks it up to discover it's a key, stares at it for a while and then harshly lodges it into the nearest tree to my right.*

*Grunts a bit.*

*Sits in the hammock to rest.*

*Throws another human skull at Vidmaster7, hitting him on the head, for no apparent reason.*

*Swings on a sturdy vine, swoops down and grabs The Amazing Vanzetti and Dr. Zephyrus Vitruvian (one in with my left paw and the other with my tail) swings back to the hammock to eat one and throw the other to Hellion the Firey Foe.*

*Picks teeth clean with an arm bone, then throws it away.*

*BURP!*

*Goes into the leafy hammock to rest.*

*Makes a successful daring leap from the treetops, onto Charles Scholz, and savagely mauls him to death (presumably, just for fun).*

*Angry grunts and screams.*

*Leaps over to Vidmaster7 and cruelly rips the hair from his body, then goes to Pulg and rips off all of HIS hair as well, before viciously destroying all of Pulg's bands and returning to the jungle leaving a dead Charles Scholz, a hairless Vidmaster7 and a hairless Pulg (clearly all of THIS was for fun).*

*Let's out a series of loud, primordial screeches while bashing the bark of the tree trunk with the remains of Pulg's Fairy Glockenspiel Band and their broken instruments.*

*Let's out a roar of anger at having been distributed from slumber and then starts chucking a vast multitude of bones at everyone who isn't Malvel (especially at That kid from that region).*

*Wakes up briefly, snarls menacingly and then throws a human skull at Vidmaster7, hitting him on the head, before going back to sleep.*

*Sits atop a branch in the highest part of the jungle, feasting on the members of Pulg's various music bands and scattering the bones when they have been completely consumed.*

*YAWN!*

*Moves across the branches to a freshly made leaf hammock, lies down in it, gazes down at the jungle floor (where all the bones and smashed up music instruments are), then goes to sleep.*

*Is revived and safely back in the tree canopy.*

*The moment that Bloodfang's claws make contact, the spell is broken and instead of a giant monkey, loads of tiny monkeys appear and scatter.*

*Takes a strike at Comte de Malodor, only to realise that he is too far away and so, grunts in frustration at what must now be done.*

*JUMP.*

*Lands safely on the ground, begins to walk to Comte de Malodor in an awkward and uncomfortable manner, then gives up and goes back into the trees which allows for easy movement.*

*Goes even more berserk and stars ripping all of Pulg's bands to pieces and smashes their instruments.*