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Sovereign Court

S, S, I, N, G!


Which should always be proceeded by 'GoatToucher and Jabberwock up a tree'

Sovereign Court

*Vomits in utter disgust and revulsion.*

Such an unpleasant thought!

*Realises that I was just sick.*

How did I do that?! I don't possess anything that allows for someone to spew vomit (such as a uvula, digestive system or even vocal cords)!


Bark Bark Bark Bark BARK!
Bark Bark Bark.
Bark Bark.

Sovereign Court

*Looks down at the wretched mutt (as I stand on two legs like a human, and I am as tall as one) and sighs.*

Really?

*Promptly delivers a hard right kick, sending Sergeant Baskerville flying.*


I believe I can fly.


...I believe when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

Sovereign Court

*Sees Sergeant Baskerville go through the hole in a large structure.*

Very impressive, here's my score.

*Holds up a card that has a giant number ten on it.*


How did you miss that awful landing?
9.4

Sovereign Court

You forget, my fellow vampire, he loves to see someone or something looking horribly mangled and in tremendous pain (such as what has happened to Sergeant Baskerville in the case of the landing). And this is my score: 6.2, both the kick and the trajectory was above average but I prefer it when the thing being kicked cries out in agony or says something funny.


We really need to invite blade or even buffy to this thread for an evening.

Sovereign Court

I did, they kept attacking each other. Or maybe, they were trying to hack off all the devil leeches that you keep in your beard because you are a total weirdo.


Can we invite along Muffy the Campfire Layer too?

Sovereign Court

You did, but sadly, she was killed most brutally by all those plague maggots that you carry around all the time.


Why are plague maggots even a thing? I'm pretty sure it was fleas that carried plague.

Sovereign Court

Tell that to Pulg, AFTER you get rid of your devil leeches.


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Well, Vid, time for a trip to the fumigators for you and me, then.


It easier then shampooing anyways.


:licks the Win:

There. I invite any of you to claim it now.


Given the many and varied journeys that Win has taken, it will be interesting to see what happens to your tongue.

On an unrelated note, I was reminiscing today about my favourite Saturday morning cartoon when I was naught but a wee speck of lint - the Dirty Dangler.


MAKE WAY FOR THE DIRTY DANGLER!!!!


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Pulg, may I direct your attention to the new live-action remake, 'The Dirty Dangler Rides Again', starring yours truly in the title role and filmed live on location on GoatToucher Island?


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Please don't.

Sovereign Court

Actually, it's not that bad! Critics are already saying that it will be the best movie of the year so far. Then again, you and Vidmaster7 are probably still feeling a tad uncomfortable because this week's fumigation was done by GoatToucher himself. Whether GoatToucher is the director of this movie is another question altogether.

Sovereign Court

All I know on the matter is that the leading lady of the production will be portrayed by the great Dowager Comtesse de Malodor, herself.


Every time I come so close the fall hurts that much more.


Count Reiner Heydrich wrote:
All I know on the matter is that the leading lady of the production will be portrayed by the great Dowager Comtesse de Malodor, herself.

Actually, I'm using a stand-in Marilith. I must remember to wipe my feet afterwards.


Something the Marilith won't have to do. (you know cause they ain't got no feet.)


She just sheds her skin to get clean.

Sovereign Court

Um, everyone, this is the DIRTY dangler we are talking about! There's nothing to clean nor would there ever be (as the cartoon is based on real life events, including the time when the dirty dangler ran head first into a waterfall as a very interesting method to blew up a nearby squirrel).


And then we added one more. Did someone say squirrel?


Ha! Your bushy-tailed Red Woodland Chums are no match for my dangly powers, Colonel Svetlana Skhrub!

MAKE WAY FOR THE DIRTY DANGLER!!!

{Runs head-first into waterfall}

Sovereign Court

Yes, I must admit, I thought that only GoatToucher could defy the laws of physics, nature, and the whole universe. It baffles me to see someone go into a waterfall (and not get wet by the way) and somehow cause a nearby animal to spontaneously combust into a pile of burnt ash.


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I beg your pardon. I violate natural law.

The distinction is important.

Scarab Sages

Count Reiner Heydrich wrote:
Yes, I must admit, I thought that only GoatToucher could defy the laws of physics, nature, and the whole universe.

I beg your pardon...?

*looks over shoulder into Darkness, snaps fingers with annoyance*


CLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

*GRABS Count Reiner Heydrich, drags him Away while accelerating to cosmic speeds, and...*

TICKLETICKLETICKLE!!!: 31d415 ⇒ (220, 276, 79, 171, 60, 96, 155, 52, 149, 295, 12, 21, 360, 239, 337, 114, 222, 138, 241, 202, 90, 146, 96, 306, 195, 316, 93, 207, 254, 410, 367) = 5919

*...abruptly drops him, alone, on the windless, tholin-suppurating plains of some large, nameless Kuiper Belt Object*

Scarab Sages

Okay. That's done.

Now, I was just thinking, you know what's funny?

Nobody talks about the once-vaunted "Push-Button Age!(C)" anymore...but that's totally when we are now, isn't it?

Sovereign Court

*Magically reappears.*

When I said defy, that also means violate. At the same time, it's worth noting that IHIYC lives in his own personal dimension and that GoatToucher dwells outside all concepts of reality.


GoatToucher wrote:

I beg your pardon. I violate natural law.

The distinction is important.

Tell me, Yogi Touchenanda, how is the Transcendental Masturbation movement doing?


I'm having trouble composing deep existential questions. "What is the sound of one hand fapping?" lacks in the gravitas department.

My new tack will be not the onanism itself, but the context. In line for coffee, buying the new Danielle Steel at Barnes and Noble, at jury duty. Vastly different experiences.

Scarab Sages

Pulg wrote:
Tell me, Yogi Touchenanda, how is the Transcendental Masturbation movement doing?

Come to think of it, isn't that already what they call "critical theory"?


GoatToucher wrote:

I'm having trouble composing deep existential questions. "What is the sound of one hand fapping?" lacks in the gravitas department.

My new tack will be not the onanism itself, but the context... Buying the new Danielle Steel at Barnes and Noble...

Fair enough. You don't want to stand out, after all.


>.>

....

o_O

Sovereign Court

...


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You don't say?

Sovereign Court

He's a tigerskin rug, he can't talk. Not even when he was alive. Your beard on the other hand, how THAT manages to talk is beyond me.

Scarab Sages

The ghost sound spell?
Ventriloquism?
Auditory hallucination?
Awaken?
The Mockingbird Talent?
Maybe he spent some of its ability score increases from level advancement on raising its Intelligence to 3+?


It doesn't talk as such - it communicates by forming its strands into various Mystic Runes, the meaning of which appear instantly in the Higher Consciousness of each viewer.


Pulg knows.

Sovereign Court

*Grunts and screeches.*

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