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*squints*
There's something fishy going on here.
Who took all the candles?
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GODS-SMURF IT
Pipe down back there! You'll wake up all the s̵̨̢̲͔̰̥̝̻̉̈́̓̋͋̀͆͐͌͝m̵̡̧̢̧̹̹̗̬̝͓̘͈͖̫̹̹̰̮̣̠͕̮͈͆̏́̆̀͋̏̿̊̔͋͛̈͠û̶́̊́͊̒̐̀͑̃̀͛̚͝ ̨̧̺̼̺̫̟̘͎̣̪̖͈͑͐̎͂ͅr̷̡̛̝̠̗̞̹͒̓͌́̐̄̊̅͂̒̿̃̂́̈́͛̀͌̄̾̽͘͝͝f̴̛͕̳͎̟̙̰͓͕͇̼̳͆͊̈́̋́͑̈́͆͝ͅ ̢͈̱͔̞̬̣̻͇͕͇͇̠ͅ aliases!
In the depths of the forums, beneath the most knotted and twisted of Boards - in turn hammered into place with the blackest, crookedest iron nails - there lurk beings so foul, so alien, so wretched that not even the Postmonster could bear to gaze upon them, not even the Trickster of Curtains or the Captain of Yesterday or even the heinous T of Z would keep them in their courts of monsters and atrocities. These beings were banished, cast down to the lowest points and sealed away, with the hopes that none would ever be forced to remember their embarrassing, outdated, irrelevant existences. Only Candle Lighter, the lone kobold tasked with keeping the prison's warding lights aglow at all times, must gaze upon these creatures. She herself is both warden and prisoner, and were she not kept constantly busy with the lights, perhaps she might attempt to escape herself. This place is prison to the worst, most unnecessary aliases ever known to the Boards. Aliases referencing inside jokes that no longer make sense, aliases attached to cults and organizations long since dead and dust, aliases with misspelled names or that still have the original Erik Mona avatar from that time everyone tried to make Erik Mona's avatar the most common one on the forums. D&D characters from Play-by-Posts that never got off the ground. Aliases with the poodle avatar. This is the Bad Alias Jail, and no good aliases may enter these cursed halls.
Candle Lighter leaps forward, and taps the kobold on the shoulder before he can dodge.
Moving with unbelievable speed, the man draws his longsword and slashes across. The pouch's strings are sliced through, and it falls to the ground.
The man lowers his hood. He looks humanlike enough, but there is something off about him not even the Servants' countless wards picked up.
Candle Lighter groans. "Oh, come on! I spent ages scribing that spell!"He sighs. "Well, Frost, you're on your own!" He casts a teleport spell, with difficulty. Unfortunately, the chains do not want to move. There is an awful tearing sound, as teh force of his spell fights with the force of the chains. Eventually, the spell wins, a barely unliving Candle Lighter vanishing along with the chains.
Candle Lighter manages to put up a claw. The fire elemental pauses. "Excuse me, I don't mean to be rude, but we're in the middle of a fight here. Couldn't you do this some other time?"
Candle Lighter looks at his adversary.
CL quickly forms more boiling water, but this time shapes it into a wall, which he sends in front of the Gugs, clocking their path into the cave. The fire elemental continues raining blows on the Gugs. Candle Lighter does not seem to be taking any more offensive actions, doing nothing but blocking and dodging.
The dracolich flinches. "Damn it, stop! That hurts!"He thrashes at them with his bony tail, at the same time muttering an incantation. "Freeze this." The air around him stops freezing and reverses, turning into boiling water. He makes it float for a minute, letting it build up. He speaks a quick ward. Then he releases it at the Gugs.
Watch where you're throwin that fire boy! Ya could of burned my dang house down. "First of all, wake up. Second, it couldn't, because I'm controlling all my flame. Which gives me an idea...Animate Breath, Greater." Candle Lighter lets loose a gust of flame, which morphs into a fire elemental twice the size of the Gugs. It begins attacking them.
Candle Lighter carefully approaches the opening.Several large dark shapes materialize out of the fog. Looking like mutated inbred giants, these are the denizens of Dream known as Gugs. Cannibalistic, lackwitted and evil, they are not usually found off their mountainous nests, but something is drawing them hither. There are a dozen of them, and they are headed for the cave mouth, their horrid faces twitching and drooling. "Frost, watch the chalice. This could take awhile." Candle Lighter lets loose a great fireball at the attackers. He takes care to ward the cavern's ice from the heat.
Candle Lighter carefully approaches the opening.
"Yes. We must be ready to send him back. If we give him even a few seconds to prepare, he will shift, and escape."
Candle Lighter flies though, muttering to himself. "Not good...with her dead, and the others in hiding, the forces of the Black are scattered. It's time to go join the others. And hide."He vanishes.
"Not at all! I do so enjoy having guests. Would you like me to make you a nice lair? It really is no trouble, we still seem to have some mortals left if you would like to torment em. " "Regrettably not, I'm too busy. Thanks for the offer, though." Five hobgoblins follow Candle Lighter."These are the leaders of my hobgoblin army." One of the hobgoblins frowns. "Not 'your' army. We are sending hobgoblins in to assist you. And only because the kobolds are going to help your foes." "Right you are. Now, come on, we need to discuss plans. The dwarves are helping them too,you'll need to be prepared for many different tactics. We need to beat these morons fast if we're gonna have any chance of surviving the legions of the Mask, and the residents of the Palace. Not to mention the Jack."
Candle Lighter flies in.
Does this mean I can't come? Darn it!
It is true that they have three champions, but they can not match our numbers. Our undead army alone is much larger than the army that Candle Lighter had. "Pff." Candle Lighter flies in."The only reason I lost that battle was that the cursed Kittens arrived at the last minute. Not to mention that Kobold Cleaver intervened. My foes were more powerful than I expected. However, no longer. "As for your 'army'? Again, I say 'pff'. You are fortunate that I am not against you." The lich smiles. "But it has potential. I am going to make you a deal: I shall be on your side, and help you. You will need it. In return, I ask only one thing: The use of any knowledge you possess. There is only one thing I can think of which will ruin Lynora's life, without putting me at risk. A backlash induced by a goddess can only be suppressed by another god. What happens if you take away the suppression? "I shall think on this. You shall think of your own part in this war." The dracolich disappears.
Suddenly, Candle Lighter appears, right next to the Tsar. He smiles.
The dracolich grins wickedly.
The dracolich and raven both disappear in a cloud of smoke.
Indeed I am.
The dracolich, in an act of final revenge, blasts the shaman to smithereens.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
NOOO!
NOOOOO!!!
Fools.
Meanwhile, in a volcano (neutral territory):
Guys, I'm her-- The wasp freezes. The dracolich reappears. Well played, my 'friends'. But it ends now. I have the book, I have the cleaver, and I have the Champion of the Boards. You have lost.Come, Steel Tsar. The dracolich, the wasp and the Tsar both disappear.
Kill them all. Take the Wasp captive, but only if you're able to. If you are badly wounded, grab the Wasp (and the Cleaver)and get out of here. The dracolich flies off.
So, you like colors...color warp!
I think not. For I am much stronger than before, especially with the Book. The dracolich blasts the Bard with a mixture of eldritch energy and flame.
GAA! That is ENOUGH!!!
I will have it, whether you like it or not.
The dracolich sighs.
W-why don't you just take it from me? I carry no weapon. Regrettably, Kobold Cleaver placed a lot of wards on it. I will have to take them all down before I can even touch the Cleaver. It's much easier if you just give it to me. Now.
Suddenly, the dracolich flies out, holding the Book.
Oh, it's fine. You're forgiven. You're mission was to determine how dangerous they were, not to really destroy them. The dracolich continues crafting dark wards to keep the thieves out.Runelord, you are permitted to stay. As long as you don't cause me any trouble. However, we won't be helping you out of the tight spot that's about to happen. Just as you wouldn't help us. The lich smiles and shrugs, going back to work.
A sending appears, of teh dracolich.
Hmm...go to the Jacks. I want to see how well you fight against them.
Interesting. Hmm. Trace!
The dracolich suddenly appears.
Hmm. This is a new developement. Come, Steel Tsar. I have much to think on.The dracolich goes back to his cave with the Tsar.
The dragon stares at the chicken, then shrugs and flies to the Realm of Paizochat.
Foolish mortal. Engulfs thief in flame which oddly does not harm the Steel Tsar.
Silence, fool. I am grateful for your creation of this being. Here is my thank you. The dragon engulfs the Peasant in incredibly hot flame. |