Jeva

Bi-Polar Poodle - Not so Happy's page

52 posts. Alias of Emperor7.


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GRRRR!


Jack Hammer wrote:
*punts poodles out of the thread*

RAWWRRRR!


Bi-Polar Poodle - Happy wrote:
New and improved!

Lies!


Cockapoo wrote:
*Gives CDP and Bi-Polar a couple of dog biscuits of healing.*

Thanks. Looks like MoMo wants it ruff today.

GRRRRR!

*Power Humps MoMo*


I howled at the moon once.


The Monday Monster wrote:
*comes in with a machete* Poodles....come out and play-ay!

GRRRR!


The Monday Monster wrote:
Clinically Depressed Poodle wrote:
We even added a cheesy 70s music sound track!
*faints*

*sniffs MoMo's perm*

GRRRRR!


Miss Kitty wrote:
The Monday Monster wrote:
Don't worry about me. I have very safe investments. I have a lot of stock in Poodle Pelts, which distributes pelts to the colder layers of the Abyss. Plus, I have a lot of Poodle souls stored safely in case the economy collapses.
When E.F. MoMo talks, people listen?
The Monday Monster wrote:
Oh, btw *punt*.
ROWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWR- {lands in bookcase}

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

*begins chewing on bookcase*


CourtFool wrote:
He does not seem to appreciate the humping. Maybe next Monday would could pretend to actually be afraid of him. What do you think? I could tremble and piddle on the floor.

I could be sad. :(


Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:
Bi-Polar Poodle - Happy wrote:

*humps JRHM*

YIP!

*Punt*

YIP!

GRRRR!


Bi-Polar Poodle - Happy wrote:
Jiminy Sunwake wrote:

And there was this guy, and he was like all offensive and stuff, and he wouldn't listen to anyone else, 'cause he was , like all hopped up on some thing he called a soapbox, and he wouldn't get off, or like let anyone else have a turn, so everybody else had to get their own soapbox, and pretty soon, the whole thread was full of soapboxes and they were shouting at each other, so i said, 'Hey! We have all these soapboxes and we can have a derby!' Then this mean guy he said 'Go away' all tough and like, so I started to cry then he laughed at me, which made me cry some more, but it was a fake cry, 'cause I was actually laughing so hard that I cried and I wetted my diaper too.

Can anyone change me? I think I pooted too.

*sniffs diaper*

YIPE!

GRRRRRR!


Urizen wrote:
Urizen wrote:
Geesh. Courtfool is at it again.

It was my turn!


I'm angry.


GRRRR!


Bi-Polar Poodle - Happy wrote:
CourtFool wrote:
Miss Kitty wrote:
What? {sniffs self: smells of wine, stale clove cigarettes, anchovies, and patchouli} I smell fine!
I want to roll on you.
I want to kick dirt on her, then roll on her.

I want to kick dirt on her, roll on her, and nibble on her neck. Then hide her slippers.

Bow wow~


Bi-Polar Poodle - Happy wrote:
barks at the lily pads that obscure the waters of the Frog Pond

GRRRRRR!


CourtFool wrote:

I really feel for Clinically Depressed Poodle, and I am more than happy to ignorantly marginalize a nation of people I know nothing about, but this is a little much.

We are poodles. We are about the humping and the rolling.

Bites man speaking french's wrist?

I mean, it worked for Gomez Adams.

tilts head


Crimson Jester wrote:
Aberzombie wrote:
Crimson Jester wrote:
Clinically Depressed Poodle wrote:
Mmmm....skittles
whatch out for the green ones.
Why, are they french?
Quoi, vous avez quelque chose contre les Français?

Strange man speaking french! Get him!

GRRRRR!

bites french man's ankle


The nice thing about mauling mimes is they way try to scream for help.


GRRRR!

That was for me!


and political nonetheless. which camp are you in? lol.


Clinically Depressed Poodle wrote:
I saw Courtfool with it the other day....

That must be why he disappears for days at a time.

GRRRR!


You know what song really drives me bonkers?

Spoiler:
Mr. Postman


Jerry Springer Spaniel

Oh, how I hate that guy! Never giving the poddle its due. GRRRR!


Collars and Leashes, A Horror Story


Jennifer's Poodle


Rusty the Poodle wrote:

No gaming for me until November, most likely. My son's marching band schedule wipes out our weekends, usually.

Same boat on the band dad job. Game tomorrow and competition on Saturday. Busy time of the year.


CourtFool wrote:
Anyone doing any gaming this weekend?

Nope. :( ...and I head out of town for work Monday so I'll miss my Tuesday game. GRRR.


General J. Debauchery wrote:
Anarcho-Syndicalist Peasant wrote:
You're all a bunch of fascists, I'll have you know!
Get him, poodles!

Breakfast!

GRRRRRRR!

Chases peasant appetizer


General J. Debauchery wrote:
Frat Jack wrote:
Lets feed them to the poodles!
Let's feed the poodles to them!

I like the 1st suggestion better!

GRRRRR!


Scrappy-Doo Slaad wrote:
Shadow Pelt wrote:


*mob of smaller but no less deadly cats swarm and pull B-PP off. Scratching and biting ensues.*
*NOMNOMNOMNOM*

{casts Domo Kun Swarm to chase and eat shadow kittens}

Hey, Bi-Polar Poodle, you aren't a 1st-level Commoner, are you?

No such thing as a common poodle!

*humps SDS*


Shadow Pelt wrote:
Bi-Polar Poodle - Happy wrote:
Shadow Pelt wrote:
CourtFool wrote:
Have I mentioned recently that dogs are so much better than cats?

*leaps down from nearby tree and pins CF with sharp claws*

You were saying?

*humps Shadow Pelt while it plays with the Boss*

*mob of smaller but no less deadly cats swarm and pull B-PP off. Scratching and biting ensues.*

*NOMNOMNOMNOM*

*humps swarm*

*those that survive blow up, due to werewolf DNA infusion*

GRRRR!


Moorluck wrote:
lynora wrote:
Moorluck wrote:
Bi-Polar Poodle - Not so Happy wrote:
Bi-Polar Poodle - Happy wrote:
Moorluck wrote:

Why do I even bother going to the "pet store"? It makes me want to do very, very, very unChristian things.

Note to self: Need more therepy.

Take me home!
And I'll turn into this!
I must warn you, I eat werewolves for lunch. ;)
I can't imagine they taste very good.:)
Delicious and nutritious... taste just like chicken. ;)

Just don't use the silverware!


Bi-Polar Poodle - Happy wrote:
Moorluck wrote:

Why do I even bother going to the "pet store"? It makes me want to do very, very, very unChristian things.

Note to self: Need more therepy.

Take me home!

And I'll turn into this!


Clinically Depressed Poodle wrote:

Looks like that zombie wandered into the wrong thread. I'll get rid of him.

grabs zombie by the leg and drags him out

Pulls zombie's other leg, splitting it like a wishbone and getting the smaller section.

Looks like you won, CDP! Yap!

digs a hole to bury zombie leg


Clinically Depressed Poodle wrote:
CourtFool wrote:
Hey, Clinically Depressed Poodle! How is your Monday?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yipe! GRRRR!


CourtFool wrote:
Clinically Depressed Poodle wrote:
Tell me about it. I walk into a place I love this morning, and some very rude person is throwing around insults about folks like me. For a minute, I thought I'd wandered into Paris.
Frenchies at the kennel again? Yap!

Zombie hatred or poodle hatred? GRRR!


Cockapoo wrote:
CourtFool wrote:
A public service announcement for all my furry comrades. Stay safe.
I bet those coyotes were French! GRRRR!

Coyotes make me angry! French coyotes would be even worse! GRRRR!


Clinically Depressed Poodle wrote:
Sometimes, I don't even have enough food in my diet.

*drops badly mauled frenchie at CDP's feet*

I can't finish this one. You can have him. Assuming you like french food, of course.


CourtFool wrote:
Look! More French people.

WTF?

"A 30-year-old neighbor faces a charge of cruelty to nonlivestock animals, which is a state fail felony."

my bold. again, WTF???


Clinically Depressed Poodle wrote:
Llamafrog wrote:
Oui? >:P
Oh no! Have you been infected by frenchieness? Do you need us to maul you?

I'll help! GRRRR!


Heathansson wrote:
LOOK OUT! DIRE DACHSHUNDS!!!

Where? GRRR!


Did someone eat my meds???!!!!!!


Clinically Depressed Poodle wrote:
Cockapoo wrote:
*shudder* What exactly did Chirac do to you?

He....he....aaaaarrrrrgggghhhhh!

breaks down sobbing and reaches for his meds

*bites CDP*


Bi-Polar Poodle - Happy wrote:
Bi-Polar Poodle - Not so Happy wrote:
Bi-Polar Poodle - Happy wrote:
Cockapoo wrote:
Clinically Depressed Poodle wrote:
Sorry Snarky, but in my book nothing can make the frenchies more tolerable except watching them bleed from multiple puncture wounds.
*shudder* What exactly did Chirac do to you?
I spent the summer with those Frenchies and I'm perfectly fine.
No, we aren't! GRRRR!
We aren't?

NO!


Bi-Polar Poodle - Happy wrote:
Cockapoo wrote:
Clinically Depressed Poodle wrote:
Sorry Snarky, but in my book nothing can make the frenchies more tolerable except watching them bleed from multiple puncture wounds.
*shudder* What exactly did Chirac do to you?
I spent the summer with those Frenchies and I'm perfectly fine.

No, we aren't! GRRRR!


Rips meds package to shreds, swallowing several.

Grrr?


Poodles can't read, you dummies!

GRRRRR!


Celestial Follower wrote:
Bi-Polar Poodle - Not so Happy wrote:
Celestial Follower wrote:

<Grabs rolled up newspaper>

Bad Bi-Polar Happy Poodle! Why do I feel compelled to add "Super Sunshine Show"?

Whap!

GRRRRR!

That has to be the oddest form of rabies I've ever seen.

<Hides in Celestial Ford Pinto>

*Humps Celestial Ford Pinto*

Owoooo!


Celestial Follower wrote:

<Grabs rolled up newspaper>

Bad Bi-Polar Happy Poodle! Why do I feel compelled to add "Super Sunshine Show"?

Whap!

GRRRRR!

Full Name

Murph the Surf

Race

| HP 78/78 | AC 25 | Fort +11; Ref +17 (Successes are crit successes instead.); Will +13; +2 circumstance bonus vs. traps or devices you failed to disarm | Perc +15 | Default Exploration ( Searching)

Classes/Levels

| Speed 25ft | Focus points0/0 | Hero Points 1/1 | Harmonic Wayfinder 1/1 | Active Conditions: None

Gender

”Murph” | Male gnome rogue 7 (Advanced Player's Guide)

About Murph The Surf

Murph 2E
Male gnome rogue 7 (Advanced Player's Guide)
NG, Small, Gnome, Humanoid
Heritage umbral gnome
Background scholar of the sky key
Perception +15; darkvision, low-light vision
Languages Common, Draconic, Gnomish, Jotun, Mwangi, Sylvan, Tien
Skills Acrobatics +14 (Successes to Balance are critical successes instead.), Athletics +10, Crafting +12, Deception +11, Diplomacy +13, Engineering Lore +12, Medicine +11, Nature +11, Occultism +12, Religion +11, Scouting Lore +12, Society +12, Stealth +17, Survival +11, Thievery +14
Str 8 (-1), Dex 19 (+4), Con 14 (+2), Int 16 (+3), Wis 14 (+2), Cha 14 (+2)
Items +1 stanching studded leather (onyx panther), +1 ghost touch striking shortsword, +1 returning throwing knife[LOGB], +1 striking hand crossbow (10 bolts, owlbear claw), +1 striking kukri (bloodseeker beak), dagger (potency crystal), holy water (4), light mace (owlbear claw), sap (potency crystal), backpack, bedroll, chalk (10), climbing kit, doubling rings, flint and steel, healer's tools, lesser antidote, lesser antiplague, lesser healing potion, lifting belt, minor healing potion (3), oil of potency, pearly white spindle aeon stone[LOPFS], rations (1 week) (2), repair kit, replacement pick, rope (foot) (50), signal whistle, soap, thieves' tools, waterskin, wayfinder, purse (159 gp, 18 sp)
--------------------
AC 25; Fort +11; Ref +17 (Successes are crit successes instead.); Will +13; +2 circumstance bonus vs. traps or devices you failed to disarm.
HP 78
Deny Advantage As someone who takes advantage of others’ defenses, you are careful not to leave such openings yourself. You aren’t flat-footed to hidden, undetected, or flanking creatures of your level or lower, or creatures of your level or lower using surprise attack. However, they can still help their allies flank.
--------------------
Speed 25 feet
Melee [1] [i]+1 ghost touch striking shortsword[/i] +16 (magical, versatile S, agile, finesse), Damage 2d6+6 P +2d6 P/Prec
Melee [1] [i]+1 returning throwing knife[/i] +16 (magical, thrown 20 ft., agile, finesse), Damage 1d4+6 P +2d6 P/Prec
Melee [1] [i]+1 striking kukri[/i] +14 (agile, finesse, trip, magical), Damage 2d6+4 S +2d6 S/Prec
Melee [1] dagger +15 (versatile S, thrown 10 ft., agile, finesse), Damage 1d4+6 P +2d6 P/Prec
Melee [1] light mace +15 (agile, finesse, shove), Damage 1d4+6 B +2d6 B/Prec
Melee [1] sap +10 (nonlethal, agile), Damage 1d6+1 B +2d6 B/Prec
Ranged [1] [i]+1 returning throwing knife[/i] +16 (magical, thrown 20 ft., agile, finesse), Damage 1d4+1 P +2d6 P/Prec
Ranged [1] [i]+1 striking hand crossbow[/i] +16 (magical, range increment 60 feet, reload 1), Damage 2d6+2 P +2d6 P/Prec
Ranged [1] dagger +15 (versatile S, thrown 10 ft., agile, finesse), Damage 1d4+1 P +2d6 P/Prec
Ranged [1] holy water +15 (thrown 20 ft., consumable, divine, good, necromancy, splash), Damage 1d6+2 Good +2d6 Good/Prec +1 good splash
Evasion You’ve learned to move quickly to avoid explosions, a dragon’s breath, and worse. Your proficiency rank for Reflex saves increases to master. When you roll a success on a Reflex save, you get a critical success instead.
Surprise Attack You spring into combat faster than foes can react. On the first round of combat, if you roll Deception or Stealth for initiative, creatures that haven’t acted are flat-footed to you.
Ancestry Feats Gnome Weapon Familiarity, Gnome Weapon Innovator
Class Feats Gang Up, Nimble Dodge, Quick Draw, Twin Feint
Skill Feats Armored Stealth[APG], Cat Fall, Foil Senses, Glean Contents[APG], Hefty Hauler, Hobnobber, Lead Climber[APG], Quick Repair, Steady Balance, Swift Sneak, Wary Disarmament
Other Abilities multicultural training (1st), rogue's racket, skillful mentor, skillful mentor, sneak attack, swords, thief, wayfinder, weapon specialization, weapon tricks
--------------------
Knife: The target takes 1d6 persistent bleed damage. You gain an item bonus to this bleed damage equal to the weapon's item bonus to attack rolls.
Rogue- When you critically succeed at an attack roll against a flat-footed creature while using an agile or finesse simple weapon or any of the listed weapons, you apply the critical specialization effect for the weapon you’re wielding. Shortsword: Sword: The target is made off-balance by your attack, becoming flat-footed until the start of your next turn.

Hero Lab and the Hero Lab logo are Registered Trademarks of LWD Technology, Inc. Free demo available at https://herolab.online
Pathfinder and associated marks and logos are trademarks of Paizo Inc., and are used under license.
Melee [1] [i]+1 ghost touch striking shortsword[/i] +15 (magical, versatile S, agile, finesse), Damage 2d6+4 P +2d6 P/Prec
[dice=+1 ghost touch striking shortsword(magical, versatile S, agile, finesse)]1d20 +15 [/dice]
[dice=Damage 2d6+4 P +2d6 P/Prec]2d6+4 P +2d6 P/Prec[/dice]

Melee [1] [i]+1 returning throwing knife[/i] +15 (magical, thrown 20 ft., agile, finesse), Damage 1d4+4 P +2d6 P/Prec
[dice=+1 returning throwing knife(magical, thrown 20 ft., agile, finesse)]1d20 +15 [/dice]
[dice=Damage 1d4+4 P +2d6 P/Prec]1d4+4 P +2d6 P/Prec[/dice]

Melee [1] [i]+1 striking kukri[/i] +13 (agile, finesse, trip, magical), Damage 2d6+4 S +2d6 S/Prec
[dice=+1 striking kukri(agile, finesse, trip, magical)]1d20 +13 [/dice]
[dice=Damage 2d6+4 S +2d6 S/Prec]2d6+4 S +2d6 S/Prec[/dice]

Melee [1] dagger +14 (versatile S, thrown 10 ft., agile, finesse), Damage 1d4+4 P +2d6 P/Prec
[dice= dagger +14(versatile S, thrown 10 ft., agile, finesse)]1d20+14[/dice] [dice=Damage 1d4+4 P +2d6 P/Prec]1d4+4 P +2d6 P/Prec[/dice]

Melee [1] light mace +14 (agile, finesse, shove), Damage 1d4+4 B +2d6 B/Prec
[dice= light mace +14(agile, finesse, shove)]1d20+14[/dice]
[dice=Damage 1d4+4 B +2d6 B/Prec]1d4+4 B +2d6 B/Prec[/dice]

Melee [1] sap +9 (nonlethal, agile), Damage 1d6-1 B +2d6 B/Prec
[dice= sap +9 (nonlethal, agile)]1d20+9[/dice]
[dice=Damage 1d6-1 B +2d6 B/Prec]1d6-1 B +2d6 B/Prec[/dice]

Ranged [1] [i]+1 returning throwing knife[/i] +15 (magical, thrown 20 ft., agile, finesse), Damage 1d4-1 P +2d6 P/Prec
[dice=+1 returning throwing knife(magical, thrown 20 ft., agile, finesse)]1d20 +15 [/dice]
[dice=Damage 1d4-1 P +2d6 P/Prec]1d4-1 P +2d6 P/Prec[/dice]

Ranged [1] [i]+1 striking hand crossbow[/i] +15 (magical, range increment 60 feet, reload 1), Damage 2d6 P +2d6 P/Prec
[dice=+1 striking hand crossbow(magical, range increment 60 feet, reload 1)]1d20 +15 [/dice]
[dice=Damage 2d6 P +2d6 P/Prec]2d6 P +2d6 P/Prec[/dice]

Ranged [1] lesser acid flask +4 (thrown 20 ft., acid, alchemical, bomb, consumable, splash), Damage 1 A +2d6 A/Prec +1d6 pers A +1 A splash
[dice= lesser acid flask +4 (thrown 20 ft., acid, alchemical, bomb, consumable, splash)]1d20+4[/dice]
[dice=Damage 1 A +2d6 A/Prec +1d6 pers A +1 A splash]1 A +2d6 A/Prec +1d6 pers A +1 A splash[/dice]

Ranged [1] dagger +14 (versatile S, thrown 10 ft., agile, finesse), Damage 1d4-1 P +2d6 P/Prec
[dice= dagger +14(versatile S, thrown 10 ft., agile, finesse)]1d20+14[/dice]
[dice=Damage 1d4-1 P +2d6 P/Prec]1d4-1 P +2d6 P/Prec[/dice]

Ranged [1] holy water +14 (thrown 20 ft., consumable, divine, good, necromancy, splash), Damage 1d6 Good +2d6 Good/Prec +1 good splash
[dice= holy water +14(thrown 20 ft., consumable, divine, good, necromancy, splash)]1d20+14[/dice]
[dice=Damage 1d6 Good +2d6 Good/Prec +1 good splash]1d6 Good +2d6 Good/Prec +1 good splash[/dice]

Surprise Attack You spring into combat faster than foes can react. On the first round of combat, if you roll Deception or Stealth for initiative, creatures that haven’t acted are flat-footed to you.
Ancestry Feats Gnome Weapon Familiarity, Gnome Weapon Innovator
Class Feats Gang Up, Nimble Dodge, Quick Draw, Twin Feint
Skill Feats Armored Stealth[APG], Cat Fall, Glean Contents[APG], Hefty Hauler, Hobnobber, Lead Climber[APG], Quick Repair, Steady Balance, Wary Disarmament
Other Abilities multicultural training (1st), rogue's racket, skillful mentor, skillful mentor, sneak attack, swords, thief, wayfinder, weapon tricks
--------------------
Knife: The target takes 1d6 persistent bleed damage. You gain an item bonus to this bleed damage equal to the weapon's item bonus to attack rolls.
Rogue- When you critically succeed at an attack roll against a flat-footed creature while using an agile or finesse simple weapon or any of the listed weapons, you apply the critical specialization effect for the weapon you’re wielding. Shortsword: Sword: The target is made off-balance by your attack, becoming flat-footed until the start of your next turn.

Hero Lab and the Hero Lab logo are Registered Trademarks of LWD Technology, Inc. Free demo available at https://herolab.online
Pathfinder and associated marks and logos are trademarks of Paizo Inc., and are used under license.