Banjo the Puppet's page

Och! Nae my crannies!

And soon it'll be coming for your gumdrop buttons.

What's "snow"?

Nothing. What's snow with you?

Something about that seems off.

Banjo the Puppet wrote:

I'm sick and tired of hearing about Lovecraftian horror. Can we not get some motherf!$#in' Lovecraftian ROMANCE up in here?!?

It exists but only in animation form..

Banjo the Puppet wrote:

I'm sick and tired of hearing about Lovecraftian horror. Can we not get some motherf$@@in' Lovecraftian ROMANCE up in here?!?

That's what Pornhub is for.

First off, I prefer to read romance. My imagination is much hotter than what the animators come up with.

Secondly, I specified "romance", and there isn't much romance on the 'Hub.

Harold turned, the lamp behind him highlighting his chiselled cheekbones and mirroring the smouldering embers in the depths of his smoky grey eyes.

"Janet", he said, in his deep, resonant, husky voice. "Janet - I WANT you"

"N'gthagn iirm n'an'an'okul'luu pthalogn!"

"Janet!" Howard's face showed clearly the rage and misery warring within him. "Janet - don't you care? Can't you see I'm dying inside because you won't have me?!"

"Ghathrgnuuuk! Tekeli-li!"

The shoggoth squelched towards the door and slowly squeezed itself through the keyhole and out into the night, never once looking back at Howard with its myriad of eye-like appendages. Howard watched her go, lips tight, a single tear glistening on his manly cheek, then went off to pen a letter to the editor of Weird Tales blaming the whole thing on the Jews.

Thank you! See, was that so difficult?

I'm sick and tired of hearing about Lovecraftian horror. Can we not get some motherf$~@in' Lovecraftian ROMANCE up in here?!?

PC's begin quest to hunt down the person who named it "The Bleeding Edge"

It was me!!

Yay! Bards are my favorite!! Their blood is fortified with glitter!!!

I know what it is. It's what I'll beat you with if you don't worship me!!

Worship me!!!

Worship me!!

Banjo has been in deep thought, trying to figure out what would be a more awesome pet than Punniculus' owlbear.

NO I CAN'T!!!!!!

*pushes button*

*pouts because Punniculus has more followers*

JOKES!!!!

Too mainstream? That's fine. I don't want a hipster wish-she-has-a-hobbit as a follower anyways!

Although, if you change your mind, ya know, come around and say "What's up".

You should all worship me instead!!

We can't be at the end-times yet, we haven't even had intermission!

*starts looking for the popcorn stand*

We?

Okay.

#nomorehashtags

Hashtags are an abomination unto Banjo! Those who use them shall be smited! Is smited right? Smitten? Smote? Smoten? Smoted? S'mored? Yes, s'mored! Those who use hashtags shall be placed on graham crackers with chocolate and molten marshmallow, and then be devoured by the Great and Terrible Banjo!!!

If you took me as your patron god, I could grant you inlJisjbility. Or was it iNjujube3? NiNjit2u8ion?
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Ahh...screw it. I'll give you a ukulele.

I'll go against the crowd and instead demand that you wear a rubber suit!

Kinky...

Not yet. Let's see if these folk start to worship as they should. If not, then you can have some fun.

It was specifically targeted at everyone.

Now, start worshiping me or I shall get Very Cross!

Yes!! Worship me!!! You shall have a queen! Not dark, but beautiful and terrible as the dawn!! All shall love me and despair!!!!!!!!

Uhmmmm....I mean a king. Definitely a king. Not a queen.

I am clearly the superior puppet, therefore I win!

Now commence worshiping me!!

Music? I got that down pat!

*plays himself for the win*

Worship me!!

Worship Me!!

I ban you for not worshiping ME!!

And you shall all worship me!!!!

M attttt Dammon.

Mat Da Mon!

Worship me!!!

Worship me!

WORSHIP ME!!

I win for I am Banjo!!

Worship me!

*mimes something awesome*

%%#---*^

The silent voices in your head don't count.

Fake Elan!!

YOLO?

What you laughin' about?