Toff Ornelos

90 Year Old Beggar with a Cane's page

27 posts. Alias of captain yesterday.


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Yer not Matlock...

Loads shotgun.


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You ever fight a dragon.

I fought a dragon! In the war! 1944.

Beat it with my cane! In the snow! Uphill, both ways! Damn hippie! Didn't know what hit em!!


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Ragadolf wrote:

Heh.

After the new year, I'll almost be at my 32nd, 20th birthday! :)

What? 20 was a very good year. I see no need to pass it by just because everyone else does! ;P

Indeed! 1920 was a magnificent year!


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Geezer with no time for this wrote:
Will someone just get that durn kid off my lawn already!

Yer lawn!

Then who the hell is on my lawn!!

Narrows eyes suspiciously as he reaches for his shotgun.


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Can the baby kill an ancient red dragon with his cane?

Didn't think so!

grabs the shotgun sitting next to his rocking chair.

Now, get off my lawn!!!


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Get off my lawn! Afore I do to you what I did to that dragon, I tell you what!


I blame the teenagers! Get out my asteroid field, ya vagrants!!

Thems fer minin' not shootin' dagnabbit!!!


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Damn kids today! No appreciation for the 1680s!!


I came about because someone said even a ninety year old beggar with a cane can slay a red dragon if given enough time.

Now get off my lawn afore the Wheel comes on!!

g%&&~$n kids today and their backsass! Why back in my day...


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Pokes Tacticslion with a THAC0 stick.


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Miserable Old Bitty wrote:
Hedley Lamarr wrote:
Deep Thoughts, By Jack Handey wrote:
A mouth full of s!#* is still a mouth. Except now it's full of s&+&, and that's gross.
Potty mouth! {stabs him with Miserable Old Bitty's knitting needle}

Take your grubby mitts off my knitting needle!

That's the one I use to lance my boils.

Damn It woman! You're not gettin' the kids off the lawn with that! You need a Blunderbuss!


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Why back in my day, you had to pay a turnip just to ask to go to the Bidderdoo, which is what we called John back then...


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Why, back in my day you could get a nickel for a turnip. And motor carriages ran on Flubber. damn kids today and their new fangled smart belts. Why back in my day, kids worked fourteen hours for a turnip. Which was a nickel in those days....


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Ole rickety knee tells me when the weather starts to turning.


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Dangnabbit! Somebody better get Sharn offa my lawn afore my nap is done over!


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I used to be young before I started posting on FaWtL, now look at me! I'm not even sure if I'm telling kids to get off the right lawn anymore.


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PayPal?

That some kind of new fangled brothel.

Dangnabbit why didn't anyone tell me!

Ethel! Fetch the Viagra, I'm going bowling.


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Aniuś the Talewise wrote:
Getoff Mylawn and 90 Year Old Beggar with a Cane, long lost twins?

Who said you could talk!

g!@#+~n whipper snappers! Ain't got no respect, why back in my day....


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Getoff Mylawn wrote:
You damn kids and your fancy schmancy aliases

We'll isn't that a handsome fella :-)


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Some guy somewhere said that in Pathfinder a 90 year old with a cane can kill an ancient Red Dragon, now it's my go to alias for being cranky and old :-)

Now get off my lawn before I sick my Owlbear on ya!

Damn kids! Don't know when to shut up! Why, back in my day...


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Damn hippies! Why don't you all move to England so you can vote for Paul McCartney to kiss the queen's bum, cause Richard Nixon ain't going nowhere!

Now get off my dang lawn!


Dragons today! i tell you w-hat in my day you couldn't go up ta one'n w-hack 'I'm with'n ma cane! of course back then a potion cost a nickel and Roosters we called cocks!

Now get'n off my lawn, Dangnabbit!!


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Dang nabbit! Get off my lawn an take yer Damn Outer Dragon with you!

Back in my day it cost two rubies ta raise ya, and if'n you's got Disintegrated, you stayed Disintegrated!


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39. The Dang Dragon stole my teeth and I'm a not gettin' them m'self, not when Matlock's on damn it!


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Dangnabbit Dragon gimme back my teeth! i can bang on a ya with my cane all day if'n i gots too!!


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Gimme back my Teeth you damned Dragon!!


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Dang it Dragon!! Gimme back my Teeth!!

You know Mrs McGregor won't give me no Whiskey shillin's if'n I can't give her a smile ta brighten up her day