World's Most Interesting Confirmation (001) [PFS Standard 5-08] (Inactive)

Game Master Great Green God

If Hallimir's strike kills the yeller zombie, Garrapata moves to the south, using acrobatics to try to avoid the blue zombie's attack of opportunity!

Acrobatics: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (8) + 6 = 14

He swings once he's in place! PUMMEL!: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (10) + 6 = 16 for 1d6 + 4 ⇒ (5) + 4 = 9 damage!

@Tawner: All things considered (two enemies left, I have the heaviest slashing weapon in the party and you have one of the others, three others substantially hurt, etc), I'd either stick with my sword or Channel to HEAL (which would't hurt me) if I were you.

@El Garrapata: These are standard-issue zombies, meaning they're staggered, meaning they CAN'T make attacks of opportunity!

@DM: El Garrapata actually got in a good punch there - in case it was enough to take down teal, could we say the following roll was instead made against the other one (who I would have been able to reach and even flank no problem if I'd moved the other direction)?

scythe vs teal, flank: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (18) + 5 = 23
damage: 2d4 + 4 ⇒ (2, 3) + 4 = 9

aid Lydia's AC: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (16) + 2 = 18

@El Garrapata: These are standard-issue zombies, meaning they're staggered, meaning they CAN'T make attacks of opportunity!

Actually they can make Attacks of Opportunity, those are pretty much free attacks that only really require that you threaten a square which does not conflict with being staggered.

Staggered A staggered creature may take a single move action or standard action each round (but not both, nor can he take full-round actions). A staggered creature can still take free, swift, and immediate actions. A creature with nonlethal damage exactly equal to its current hit points gains the staggered condition.

Besides, zombies are always grabbing the last person in a group to run past their hidey-hole.

Hallimar fillets his zombie opponent and El Garrapata finally knocks the block off os something--literally, sending the man's body wandering about aimlessly for about six seconds before it trips and topples to the floor. None of the zombies or hunks of zombie completely stop twitching but other than being deeply disturbing they don't seem to be a threat anymore.

END COMBAT(???)

@Lydia: Understood

As Lydia presses her attack moving in interesting ways, it causes Tawner to lose what little patience he has. "Damnit, Lydia! I said get out of here!

Tawner grabs his Holy symbol which represents Sarenrae, the Everlight. But the woman won't leave. She just dances around combat with an unearthly grace. Tawner sighs and releases the gift with which Sarenrae has blessed her followers.

Tawner channels positive energy to heal the living

Heal: 1d6 ⇒ 2

Everyone is healed a whopping 2 hit points!

There is nothing of import upon the man that is not broken or otherwise spoiled, and indeed nothing remotely salvageable in the room save a beautiful gold signet ring engraved with running stags lying off in far corner of the room, a small pearl bound in a net of string--apparently once part of a twine wristband, laying near the body; and a few legible scraps of paper apparently from a journal....

Lydia immediately identifies the race of the body; he was a dhampir like herself.

Entry from one month ago: Dear Diary, Good news! I’ve killed again! Another fish person. She was smallish, so I took her close to the pool with my magic, and then dragged the corpse back to my ‘temporary research laboratory’. Why do they come here I wonder? I guess it is enough that they do, and thank Norgorber for the secret of their gift. Still, even preserved as they are, they smell terrible. I shall need bear it only a little while longer. While my arcane research has been primarily aimed at the revivification, and subsequent control of terrestrial, former life, I feel confident that it will work as well upon these amphibious specimens.... They all said I was mad (—‘MAD’ can you conceive of it?) but soon I will have enough of these fish folk to raise an army to take back to father’s county estate, in Lozeri. Then, then when he is staked to the green, THEN AT LONG LAST, we shall see who will 'amount to naught!'

Three days later... Dear Diary, Terrible news. I used the scroll today, but misspoke the final syllable of the line ending in 'Klaatu barada nikto'. 'NIKTO'! Curse my tongue! Instead of raising the first soldiers in my army of darkness, I have done the inconceivable and instead spawned evil dead bent upon my—MY!--destruction. They come even as I pen this--AIIIIE!!!______

Garrapata reads over Lydia's shoulder. At the final entry, he nods. "Groovy. THUS DOES EVIL ALWAYS SPAWN ITS OWN UNDOING!"

Hallimir retrieves his mace from the entrance and taps Tawner on the shoulder, as he rubs a very red and swollen cheekbone that was clearly broken by the zombie strike.

"Tawner, could I trouble you for some more healing...this is exceptionally painful..." he states as he points towards the injury.

"and, I knew those kobolds couldn't be behind the Gillfolk disappearances, they seemed to small".

The faint breeze surrounding Airyn agitates as he inspects the spoiled goods and decaying bodies.

"We have the truth at last."

"Well done," he looks around the room as his body seems to sag as if some heavy weight were set upon him, although his color looks better. He moves over to read the diary.

"Interesting. He had the wherewithal to pen his scream of demise but had not the thought to use that time to run away. The gillmen will be safe, now, though."

"See, now this is why you talk to the dead nicely," Replies Fomalhaut once the tale of the would-be necromancer is revealed. "Wanting to take over the world is all well and good, and most of us are happy to help - after all, it used to be *ours* - but don't just order us around, show some respect! Maybe a benefits package...a nice hat and a rum ration, at the very least...every third century off...chocolate-coated brains for the holidays...OH, and savings bond options once you've set up your imperial bureaucracy...! Want to take over the world, Lydia? May I have a hat?"

"Hsst! We'll talk about it *later*, Fomalhaut...!"

"Don't ever let anyone tell you that you cannot fight, Hallimir. You are exceptional!" Tawner too felt a sting, but it was mostly to his pride for not being able to stand and deliver when the time came. "Hang on. Let me get the wand."

Tawner walks over to Lydia and watches the group as they read a found journal. Absentmindedly he says, "Lydia, may I have the wand of healing please?" Then, more sharply he says, "And next time I tell you to leave, you need to listen to me."

"I thought I already gave it to you. And yeah, godsawful sun magic, I got it, uh-huh. Wouldn't be the first time I felt it. No offense, but I don't think you've got the power to put them - or me - down faster than my weapon could. Besides, Don't they teach you techniques or prayers or whatever for diverting the power away from those you want to spare?"

IF Lydia has the wand, she gives it to Tawner.

"Forget about hurting what few friends on the other side of the coin you should be so lucky to make," Adds Fomalhaut. "Most of the worst enemies you'll ever face will be as alive and rosy-cheeked as you are. Meditate on the implications of that, sunshine."

"As much as I loathe to acknowledge it, the shadow speaks the truth this time."

"Lydia. Don't be angry. I was only trying to save...to help you." Tawner looks to Fomalhaut of all people for a little help. "And no, they haven't taught me that. I'm still..." He pauses and drops his head. "They were sending me to Taldor to retrain me. To reinvigorate my faith. Heh. Yeah. They stopped trusting me.

Tawner takes the wand and uses it on the ones that needed it.

"AS FO MOR CHEEZ"

Cure Light Wounds Hallimir: 1d8 + 1 ⇒ (1) + 1 = 2

Cure Light Wounds Sidi: 1d8 + 1 ⇒ (7) + 1 = 8

Cure Light Wounds El Garrapata: 1d8 + 1 ⇒ (2) + 1 = 3

"Um. I thought you were angry. Annoyed, angry, frustrated, whatever."

After a moment, she adds: "Thanks for being considerate. When we get back to the Grand Lodge, I could find you a book on spiritual combat tactics, if you like."

Tawner looks to Fomalhaut of all people for a little help. "And no, they haven't taught me that. I'm still..." He pauses and drops his head. "They were sending me to Taldor to retrain me. To reinvigorate my faith. Heh. Yeah. They stopped trusting me. "

Fomalhaut stares back at Tawner. His expression is - quite literally - blank save for his great staring eye.

"If I've ever been a priest, I've forgotten, so I'm not sure I can help you much there...but for them to tell you they find your lack of faith disturbing when the real trouble is THEIR crisis of faith in YOU...it strikes me as a touch hypocritical."

"Heh, I deserved it. Remind me to tell you the story when you two tell me about the angry mobs chasing you. But later. When we're out of danger. From what it sounds like in that journal," He points to it, "There was an army being created." He looks around. "Hardly looks like an army here."

Fomalhaut looks down at the mess of stinky carrion now covering the floor.

"Army rations, then?"

The growing bruise on Hallimir's Cheek slowly fades away as his face returns to normal. "Thank you Tawner, it is greatly appreciated"

Hallimir takes the journal notes from Lydia and scans them again, "Well we have explored all of the tunnels and caverns linked to this place and we have yet to see anymore of these abominations.

Perhaps the Necromancer was a bit...premature...with his choice of the word 'army'. Either that or he stored his more successful creations in another site."

Hallimir hands the journal back to Lydia, "Either way, I do not believe we are in any further danger. We should collect what items remain for return to the Society and inform Uori of our discoveries."

Hallimir walks over to the deceased Dhampir, picks up the pearl and the ring and studies them for a moment (Apraise Pearl: 1d20 ⇒ 3, Apraise Ring: 1d20 ⇒ 10) and then slips the ring over his finger having no idea of how much they are worth.

Garrapata waits for everyone to be finished with healing and discussing. " We OUGHT to tell the GILL-WOMAN that her kin are FREED from UNDEATH and no LONGER AT RISK!"

Agreed. Let's go.

Later.

Meditating. Meditating. Meditating. Meditating. Meditating. Meditating....

Map updated.

Garrapata walks up behind the meditating gill-woMAN. He can't help himself. He pokes the gill-woMAN's skin to see if s/he's moist. It's a compulsion.

Like a silent movie villian, El Garrapata sneaks up on the meditating male gillwoman and taps his damp shoulder.

"BWAH!! Why must you do that!?" Uori says on the edge of sputtering, apoplectic fury.

"I wondered if YOU WERE MOIST. You LOOK moist." El Garrapata says, slightly apologetically. But not really. Just sort of.

"I'm sitting in a wading pool! .... WELL!?"

Garrapata looks suddenly gleeful. "SO MOIST!"

"Uori. We're sorry to have to tell you what you've already suspected. We think we found what was killing your kinsmen. Or at lease how they died."

He looks over at the others. "Show him the diary."

Lydia hands Uori the diary.

"'The deep, deep, darkness of my eternal soul'?" Uori reads questioningly.

He flips to another page.

"'However far away
I will always love you
However long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you
I will always love you.' Huh?"

Garrapata nods sagely. "Boys don't cry." Then he bursts into tears at the haunting words.

Hallimir steps up, pats Garapatta solemnly on the back for a moment, then takes the journal from Uori and scans through the remaining pages to find the section regarding the Dhampir's work and the fate of the Gillfolk.

"Perhaps this section would be of more relevance". He then hands the Journal back to Uori.

Tawner folds his arms as he watches the Gillperson read the last part of the journal.

Airyn shivers. Then wipes his eys, "It is cold in here."

Sidi raises a single, baffled eyebrow as he stares at the blue brawler.

Lydia looks at Fomalhaut in bewilderment.

"Words to a spell?"

Fomalhaut replies with an exaggerated shrug.

"Let us go meet with Janira," Sidi suggests, "Unless you wish to explore more dhampir poetry."

"We are sorry, Uori."

He nods at Sidi. "We should get going."

"It's terrible what he did, but he was a genius in his own way.... Thank you." He hands the remains of the book back.

Later outside.

You're back! Pipes up Janira who suddenly frowns and clasps her hand over her nose and mouth. "Ugh. You all smell like a fish market dumpster. I don't even know how that is possible for Fomalhaut. What happened?"

"We discovered that gill-women are MOIST! And sad poems make me CRY." Garrapata confides. He sniffs deeply, and nods. Then he goes and jumps in the stream, dunking himself thoroughly to wash off any lingering scents.

When he's done, he climbs out, shaking like a large wet dog. "SO! Did we PASS THE TEST?"

It's two days later and the party is back at the Pig's Paunch presenting their findings to Dean Shaine.

Feel free to expand upon the time between the caves and here.

Before they depart on the return jouney Hallimir spends about an hour in the river trying to wash out the stench of the undead.

fort save vs. Disease: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (18) + 1 = 19

After a good uneventful night sleep. He feels considerably better and the wounds from the giant Flea seems to be feeling considerably better

On the way back, Tawner shows his gratefulness to everybody with a cheery demeanor, going so far as to pick flowers for Lydia and her shadow. When the others aren't looking, he takes out his sword and practices swinging.

When they reach Absalom, he briefly enters one of Sarenrae's sanctuaries and speaks to the Clerics there of his new and envigorated outlook. He also tells them that he's joined the Pathfinder society, leaving out any important details until he reports to Dean Shaine.

He makes sure his journal contains as much information as he can remember. Then he heads to the Pig's Paunch.

Before they depart on the return jouney Hallimir spends about an hour in the river trying to wash out the stench of the undead.

"Whoops!" *Blush!*