Grubble yells to the sky as he raises the dogslicer high, parading it around. In his devious little head, plans of stabbing the Chief are already forming, just to be replaced by plans of setting the mountain of lard alight like a noticeably foul candle.
But such plans wait for later: when they return from the fireworks, loved and praised and armed with fiery boom-booms.
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"Zord! Hide!"
Zord scampers off. He is a very dumb, very slow goblin who has absolutely nothing going for him. If he does succeed in this challenge, it will be pure dumb luck.
All things considered, Zord does pretty well. He find a nice bush full of thorns, and jump into it. If the others do find him, maybe it will slow them down just a bit.
While thorny and somewhat concealed Zord's hiding spot is right where the bulk of searchers begins. The first several walk past him without so much as breaking stride. Right as Zord is about to celebrate his victory one particularly observant goblin, a scout by the look of him points at the bush. With two friends in tow he slowly approaches the bush and with an overdramatic wind up he brings the femur he is carrying down upon Zord's head. with the sneaky professor found and dutifully clubbed the group returns to see how the rusty earbiter challenge is going. Much heckling and name calling follows Zord as he walks back.
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"Ouch. Hurt. Not. Fair! " Poor Zord hobbles out of the thorns, rubbing his head.
He isn't too pleased that it was 1 vs. 8. He starts to get... angry. Zord starts to have flashes of pain and madness in his head, of hundreds of goblin bodies lying around him, distorted and oozing, dead.
A voice inside him says... You could do it, you know....I have given you the power...
Zord glares at those about him, as he makes his way back to Torch's pack. His new true friends.
Dogdog managed to scramble through the shards and barbs, his habit of moving around on all fours serving him well. He got snagged for a moment but managed to pull free with a snarl and a short yipe.
Torch chuckles as he watches Dogdog try to escape and holds his head up high from atop Not-Dog as two of his packmates return as winners. Not perfect, for sure, but Torch understood that not every goblin could be as good as him.
Zord and a horde of jeering goblins return just in time to see Dogdog crawl out the far side of the rusty earbiter, and with only minimal bleeding. Slorb makes his way to the front of the group one more time. This time he lays a heap of burlap before Dogdog. "For Dogdog, the Chiefs personal very useful robe that is useful." Upon inspection the fabric appears to be a robe with several patches roughly sown onto it in various shapes. There is a ladder, a three-legged turtle, a horseshoe, and a bullhorn.
With Torch pack having (mostly) proven their worth the crowd of goblins returns to other festivities. The celebration continues for another few hours before it dies down, then the village goes mostly quiet for the night.
Dogdog immediately starts rolling around on his new blanket then starts dragging it around in his mouth.
Somewhere in the enthusiastic rolling and panting and barking, the wolf-skull puppet's mouth moved and said "Dog dog is very good boy."
The words were a bit muffled, as though the skull had a mouth full of burlap.
With the dares sadly over, Torch finishes the night having Not-Dog runs circles around the bonfire while waving a pair of torches in a completely uncoordinated dance. All-in-all, Torch felt that it was a very goblinly night.
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The fight before:
With much cursing and sulking, Zord stays by the others in the pack, drinking and staring at the beautiful fire. At some point, he remembers that he can heal and casts cure light wounds on himself.
Next morning:
Zord wakes up earlier in the others to conduct his prayers to Lamashtu. Of course, he doesn't quite realize that those prayers are largely ignored by her and fully accepted by Cthulu, who probably laughs through the whole thing... but who can really know.
Grubble dances around the fire until he falls asleep, clutching the Gorge of Gluttons to his chest. In the morning, he stuffs his pocket with all the food he can carry, roasting a lizard over the bonfire coals.
You wake early the next morning and are brought before Chief Rendwattle. Slorb plops a sacking front of you and ”Chief says you get fireworks and bring them here to him. Take these, they help” He opens the bag to reveal the remaining fireworks found in Scribbleface’s hut.
With that Slorb accompanies you to the edge of Brinestump Marsh to see you off. ”You be careful yous. Be quick, and you stay away from Lotslegs.” Your hearts beat fast with excitement and more than a little fear. Excitement to find fireworks an be heroes. Fear from some of the spookier stories told around last nights bonfire. In particular you recall one story of a ravenous cannibal called Vorka who is though to live near your destination. Vorka was once the wife of a licktoad chieftain but she was run out of the village after she killed and ate her husband as well as several of their dinner guests. No one has seen her in many years but goblins have gone missing in those parts and are assumed to have been devoured by the murderous flesh-eating Vorka.
Your destination isn’t too far away, maybe an hour through he marsh, but it is hard going. There are many stretches of water to deep to pass and big tangled patches of stinging nettles. As you progress the marsh becomes thicker and darker, and it starts to smell more. You think you’re probably about halfway to the shipwreck. Some sort of large puffball mushroom deflates and lets out a big burst of spores. The group of easily distracted goblins assume that dog and not-dogs wild barking must be about the mushroom, as that is clearly the most interesting thing happen. Save for the dogs you don’t notice the massive spider as it creeps down behind you and makes for Dogdog.
The spider, who can only be the dreaded Lotlegs Eat Goblin Babies Many, drops from the canopy and lunges for Dogdog. She sinks her teeth into the feral goblin’s shoulder with a sickening crunch. He can feel her poison burn as it enter his bloodstream but with a snarl he shakes it off.
Dog lunged at the creature attacking his brother.
Torch is completed disoriented as Lotslegs suddenly attacks, but Not-Dog already knows to head toward danger rather than away...which was the first trick Torch had to teach Not-Dog. Not-Dog runs around to get within range of attack of the creature.
"If you meet Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many, you maybe should run" had said the Chief, but that was before the fire and dances and dares. Sparks fly around Grubble as he heats up, slagging a glob of fire at the massive spider. "Eat Fire, not Goblin Babies!"
+
Lotslegs nimbly avoids dog's jaws only to be caught in a blast of fire from Grubble Gruuu, the greasy hairs running along her legs and back ignite and she lets out a loud hiss-shriek. She skitters around Dogdog and attacks the little monster that just set her ablaze. Her mandibles snap far above Grubble Gruuu's head.
"Fire!" Torch shouts, lifting his torch high with the command. As Lotslegs tries to dart away, Torch tries to bring the torch down on Lotslegs as Not-Dog snaps at it.
Torch laughs as Lotslegs runs out of range.
"Throw the fire, Goblins feared.
Swing the dagger, Lotslegs scared!"
Torch continues the chant as Not-Dog runs around back in range to attack once more. This time, Torch brings both his torch and dogslicer to bear upon the mighty beast.
Dog's jaws snap nothing but air as the spider skitters past.
Dogdog did not miss. He lashed out with a snapping wolf skull, and when Lotslegs dodged, Dogdog bit the giant spider right in the face.
The dogs bark and snap as the spider moves away but fail to make contact with their fangs. Torch whacks Lotslegs with his torch, followed close behind by another strike with his torch. Each strike adding more flames to the already burning spider. After she misses Grubble Dogdog strikes out. Distracting her with his puppet Dogdog sinks his teeth deep into the spider's face. He pulls away with a good chunk of Lotslegs dangling from his jaws. With a final hiss the spider collapses in a heap of burning exoskeleton and hair.
Dogdog chewed for a moment, tilted his head and then opened his mouth and pushed the chunks of lotslegs out with his tongue. Apparently he didn't like the taste of spider-face.
Shaking his head and scattering slobber about, he hopped onto Dog's back and let out a short growl-bark. Dog immediately started sniffing around.
Dog, nose to the ground, leads you through the marsh. Not to far from the site of the ambush you find an old deadfall. The trees come together to form something akin to a cave. There are webs everywhere some of which you have to slice or burn through to continue. Many bodies hang from the trees in web sacs, mostly goblin but a few that appear to be humans or elves as well.
2 potions with pictures of bandaged goblins, a potion with a picture of an angry bull, a potion with a bear claw tied to the neck, and a wax-paper-sealed package containing six pieces of licorice-favored taffy.
Dogdog jumps off of Dog's back and starts ransacking the webbing and corpses, tossing little trinkets and vials out into view. He clearly didn't know what any of the stuff was, and apparently didn't care. He just wanted to dig things up. He sat their next to his pile with his tonge hanging out and a stupid grin on his face.
Torch is distracted watching the threads shrivel and burn as he holds out his torch near them. "Torch set this place on fire when we leave," Torch decides.
Noticing the longshanks hanging around, Torch grins and pulls out his dogslicer. "Fire-Gob hold torch while Torch cut off ears," he says, handing the torch over to Grubble Gruuu.
Torch begins slicing off the ears of all the longshanks, elven and human...and any other creature besides goblins. Unless they no longer look like goblins. Then Torch will cut off their ears as well. He tries to keep an eye out for any dogs as well, prizing them the most.
Grubble rejoices at the demise of Longlegs, hacking a few times at its body with the Gorge for good measure. After following the pack towards the lair of the beast, he gets distracted by an elf in a cocoon, poking the body repeatedly until Torch places his torch in his hand. His main occupation for the next minutes is to assume various poses, like a demented living candelabrum.
When Zord presents the spell, he looks at the pictures. "Is very much art. This nom-noms?"
"Zord carry junk. Torch carry trophies," Torch replies.
With your trophies and junk in hand your little rag tag group continues on its way. Not to much father through the marsh it begins to thin out as you approach the coast. Just a little farther and a clearing comes into sight. A two-masted ship lies mired in the mud in this clearing, its rigging thick with moss and decorated with lanterns and windchimes made from goblin skulls and bones. Strange writing is faintly visible along the ship’s prow, while the soggy, swampy “yard” that surrounds the wreck is encircled by a rickety wooden fence. A thin curl of smoke wafts up from a chimney that protrudes from an unusual box-like structure near the ship's bow.
you assume the writing to be the name of the ship but it is in a language completely foreign to you.
"Aaaah! Writing!" shouts Grubble, covering his eyes. "Make it away, away!"
"Words! Words! Attack!" Torch shouts, completely ignoring everything else. Charging forth on Not-Dog, Torch begins to beat the words into submission with his torch, hoping to erase the evil beings out of submission.
Dogdog just watches, having no idea what is going on. He sniffed in the direction of the smoke and watched the box it was coming out of.
In true goblin fashion Torch and his decidedly canine mount lead a charge on the shipwreck's nameplate. He is however, surprised when he gets closer. Before Torch reaches the boat a loud whinny cuts through the air from behind the wreck. A filthy gray stallion charges around from behind the ship, it whips it head from side to side and lashes out at torch with its hooves. The cavalier dodges the first hoof with ease but gets clipped by the second.
Everyone except Zord can act
As the foe approaches, the Gorge of Gluttons starts shimmering with power, the goblin's hatred for equines resonating as martial power. Drawing it, Grubble hobbles towards the horse in what is possibly a menacing fashion, more accurately a not-so-controlled fall.
"Ah! Bad horsey! Bad horsey!" Torch shouts, caught off guard. Torch waves his torch at it wildly while Not-Dog instinctively snaps at the horse's hooves.
Dogdog charged in on the back of Dog, leveling his stolen lance.
Torch and Not-Dog land a solid combo attack as they are surprised by the horse. Dogdog and dog charge into the fray. Dogdog's raised lance catches the sorry creature in the throat and the feral goblin is showered in red. With a ragged hole in its neck the horse's eye's roll back in its head and it slumps to the ground.
When the horse topples, Torch waits a few moments to see if it's just playing dead. Then, Torch shoves his torch against the horse's face for another few seconds just for good measure. When the only thing that happens is the sweet aroma of burnt flesh, Torch gives a cheer. "Longlegs be dead! Good horsey."
Using his dogslicer, Torch carves off the horse's ears and adds them to his collection. "Good work, pack goblins and not-dogs. Now we find out what box against water-wood-on-land is. Then we feast on longlegs meat."
However, as he is holding his dogslicer up, still bloody from carving into the freshly killed horse, Torch notices that the makeshift blade is not nearly as shiny and nice as the one that Grubble Gruu is holding. Holding it up close to his eye, Torch tries to judge it's quality, and even spit on it and tries to shine it up with his dirty ragged clothes, but it still doesn't shine like Gruu's blade.
"Gruu give Torch dogslicer. Torch be leader, so Torch should have shiny blade," Torch reasons. "Torch give Gruu...this for it," he adds, taking off his belt with the fire-breathing elixir. Torch preferred setting things on fire with his own hands, though spitting fire would be very cool. But Torch didn't want to give up his trophy ears either, so...
Dogdog and Dog enjoy a meal of horsemeat.
"Lotlegs dead! Longlegs dead! This big day for gobbos! We getting stronget than Chief Gutwad!"
Grubble sets fire to the horse's hindquarters for good measure, and starts restowing the Gorge when Torch makes his offer.
"Grubble wins the Gorge... but drinkfire is good for him! Take and give!"
And so, a flask and a dogslicer change hands.
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Zord is still staring stunned at the horse, and then he starts staring at Dogdog, quite amazed by his level of power. Zord didn't even get a chance to move before the horse was put down.
Dogdog could easily tear him apart... it would be a good idea to stay on his good side. So Zord walks over to Dogdog and pats his head. "Good. Good. Pet. Pet. Bwaa haa haa!"
Zord's distracted mind eventually pulls him away from the macabre scene of Dogdog and Dog tearing into the dead horse, and he walks right to the edge of the fence surrounding the yard and listens very carefully, and scans the area for anything of interest.
Not seeing or hearing anything, he walks through the grassy yard and right up to the edge of the boat.