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From his hiding place from behind some scrub brush Boggledook takes a pot shot at the giant weasel.
Rolls:
Everyone can act.
A tall greasy woman lumbers out of the farm house. she drags behind her a large spiked club and is followed closely by a massive ferret. The beasts face is covered in blood some dried and crusty, some fresh and red. The woman looks about with squinted eyes looking for intruders.
A shout comes from inside, a loud nasally female voice. "Pa, somebody is messin' around out there. Lets go spike!"
The lemure takes the torch from Zord, leaving his hand rather sludgy and then oozes away through the gate and towards the nearest building, an overgrown garden shed it seems. The Lemure arrives at the base of the shed and sets the torch against it, the overgrowth keeps the torch from properly lighting and the lemure quickly runs out of its time on the material plane. Just as you are sure the plan has failed the discarded torch catches a patch of dry scrub grass. The flames spread to the other brush and within a minute the entire shed is up in flames. You hear a soft hissing sound from within the shed which grows in volume until it squeals so loud it hurts your ears. Then with an incredibly loud bang the entire shed sxplodes in a massive fireball sending soot and debris flying in all directions.
The pig falls before a devastating series of attacks from the powerful warriors facing it. After taking what trophies and meat you desire you continue on and before too long arrive at Munchmeat Farm. Surrounded by a rickety wooden fence and thick mud, Munchmeat Farm slumps in a soggy valley between two low tors. A slimy-looking creek winds through the farm, which is barely anything to look at. A house in the center of the fenced-in area leans against two hefty buttresses holding up three large beams. It’s balanced on numerous thick log stilts that create a cage-like hollow in the mud below the building. North of the house are a few filthy chicken coops, and to the west an upturned boat, propped against the fence, has been built into an impromptu shelter. A shed sits to the south of the building, and south and east of this shed are a few tired stretches of garden that look like they’re best at growing mud and weeds. A single rickety farm gate allows passage through the wooden fence here, below an archway made of broken branches and bleached bones. A sign hangs from the arch, its words scrawled onto the wood with what looks like blood. Three severed, maggot covered goblin heads sit on poles driven into the ground to the left of the gate. A second sign leans against these poles under the heads The signs read as follows: Trespsrs wil b eatn! Yous gobluns taste
The gate seems to be the only entrance into the farm but your pretty sure that the wall wouldn't be too much of a challenge to get past.
i'm back but still pretty wiped. I will update soon though, have no fear.
Boggledook gives the piggy a solid wallop adding more flame to the already well roasted bovine. Dog immediately takes a large bite of the tasty meal being cooked right in front of. The pig's oily coat is burning all along its back and blood pools at its feet. For a moment it stands still and it seems it may fall. The beast however, is angrier than it is wounded and sets its beady black eyes on Boggledook. He tears a nasty chunk out of Boggledook's side with a tusk, flinging a splatter of blood across the other goblins.
GM Stuff: 6
I have some more overnights coming up. july 9-13 and 16-20. I may be able to post sporadically for the first week, unlikely for the second. I'll try to catch up in between the two. My sincere apologies for all the prolonged absences but its the way the job goes.
springing back like rubber Dogdog slams into the boar only to continue being bounced around when its thick hide turns his teeth. Grubble gruuu blasts the pig causing the air to be filled with the thick scent of burning hair and bacon (mmm, delicious). Dog's teeth unlike his master pierce deep into the beast's flesh.
The boar goes for Dogdog with its massive tusks. The Chieftain recieves a sizable hole in his left shoulder. rolls:
Signing off for the week, if one of you feels drawn to do so you could download we be goblins too! for the pigs statblock and finish the combat, otherwise we'll pick back up when I get back at the beginning of next week.
Dog skirts around behind the boar to flank with Dogdog. He tears at the beast with his fangs but its hide is to tough for him to do much.
The boar ignores the dog biting at his hindquarters and instead belches a blast of fire at Dogdog.
While Boggledook's political message fails once again to penetrate into the goblins minds the message of dealing with Pa Munchmeat comes through loud and clear. He is met with much hooting a hollering and a few celebratory bird bones are thrown his way. Soon the celebration dies down and the goblins find their way to bed, or under a tree, or in a pile of muck, the goblins really just wander around until they lie down wherever they end up and fall asleep. The new Chief and his Sub-chiefs are seen off early in the morning by Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh and a select few important elders. "Good Luck Chief Dogdog, Pa Munchmeat is a terrible foe, he hits hard and the trees listen to his words, be careful around him. Careful too for for the terrible firebreathing boars, they breath fire and are terrible. Be careful too of Munchmeat's daughter, I hear she has a pet weasel larger than a horse." With that she hands Boggledook a crude map showing the way and ushers you out the door. Pa Munchmeat's farm isn't to far a hike, about an hour on foot. The terrain is mostly barren rocky outcroppings with the occasional stand of craggy evergreens and scrub brush. The hike goes without incident until you are less then half a mile from the farm. Suddenly a loud squeal pierces the air a massive boar comes barreling at you from behind a huckleberry bush. Grubble Gruuu sidesteps the beast moments before its tusks make contact.
Rolls:
Zord identifies his pile of new loot but he still just can't figure out some of the items from Vorka's boat. potion of fire resistance
Zord, the link you posted says it doesn't exist. A heads up for all my games. I work as a wilderness educator and through the summer their are a few weeks when I will be out in the forest for a week with little access to the internet. I will post letting you know before hand but the next one will be the week of june 25th-29th.
As the party dies down Wise Mummy approaches the new chieftain and his entourage. She makes a slight bow to Dogdog before speaking. "Your greatness, the tribe is excited to have a new chief but they are restless as well. I recommend that you head out to deal with Pa Munchmeat as quickly as you can, tomorrow even. I can keep the tribe happy for a few more days if you have preparations that must be made but the problem must be dealt with swiftly. Will you need time to prepare?"
I most likely wont be able to post until the end of the week. Keep roleplaying and we'll move forward when I return.
Before anything else an assistant leads the new Chief and sub-chieftains to the chieftain's treasure hoard. Dumped in a bit near the back of the cave and covered in bark and debris is a sizable pile of treasue. Among the 840 gp in assorted coins, art objects, trophies,
Once the treasure has been sorted through it's time to celebrate. Even more food then before is brought out and seemingly more of everything else as well. The village is alive with excitement about their new (And fully qualified) chieftain. At some point you will have to fulfill your chiefly and sub-chiefly duties but for now it is time to celebrate.
As one by one his companions escape from the burning pie Boggledook continues to struggle against his restraints. Finally once Zord levitates out Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh utters a guttural cry to signal the end of the dares. Boggledook is unceremoniously dragged from the pie and freed. The Wise Mummy steps forward, holding the crunchy crown high in the air.
Almost as though they had practiced it (they definitely didn't) the birdcrunchers let loose with a chorus of barks and growls. Beckoning Dogdog forward The wise woman place the crunchy crown upon his head. "BEHOLD, YOUR CHIEFTAIN!" The bird crunchers cheer again, this time mixing a proper cheer with the growls. "The chief may now appoint sub-chieftains from the remaining chieftains in waiting." [ooc]Congratulations Dogdog! You may now select sub-chieftains with titles of your own choosing (if you wish).
Sorry about the delay, I will be posting after My RL session this evening.
Grubble gruuu and Dogdog each take out an eagle before Zord's blast of energy silences the other two. Everyone except Boggledook is free.
Dogdog's powerful jaws cut clean through the thick rope binding his arms and legs.
The eagles continue to shriek and flap about in the hot muck. They lash out at the goblins near them. Rolls:
VS. Zord
Vs. Boggledook
VS. Dogdog
VS. Grubble Gruuu
Zord takes a bite to the thigh.
The pie is only ten feet across so everyone is within everyone else's reach without moving. Dog can use the rescue trick to pull Dogdog from the fire. keep in mind that once you have left the pie you cant get any points for killing eagles.
Wise Mummy sprattleharsh waves her hands in the air and begins to walk back towards the village. She calls back over her shoulder as she walks. "OK OK OK, that enough messing around. It's time for the final dare." As you near the village center the air is filled with the scent of rotten meat and spoiled milk. Turning a corner the source of the smell is made clear. A massive pie has been made while the other dares took place. A mish mash of swamp water, mud, dead birds, old grass, and spoiled milk has been brought nearly to a boil and poured into a bowl-shaped depression in the ground. The surface of the pie is covered in a surprisingly flaky and tasty looking pie crust. Cauldrons of extra pie filling boil off to the side. Several goblins stand at the ready with large dented funnels in case the pie needs a refill during the dare. Four golden eagles screech loudly from cages nearby. The ends of their feathers are caked in crusty blood from their freshly clipped wings. The first contestant to escape from the pie will be awarded 10 points! the next 5, then 3. The last goblin out gets no points. For each eagle to kill you will be awarded 5 points! Now let the final Dare begin!" Your hands and feet are bound before you are tossed unceremoniously into the burning-hot pie.
Dogdog
In a mess of flailing arms and legs Grubble and Boggledook go down into the bog. "Dogdog and Zord are the winners! Each will be given three points!"
Grubble gruuu wobbles precariously atop Boggledook, but the bard manages to balance him once more despite the snarling feral goblin staring him in the eyes. The sight of the goblins stacked on top of one another evokes memories of Chief Gutwad's teeter chair.
"A DRAW!" Shouts the Wise Mummy. "AGAIN!"
Boggledook needs to beat 18 to keep grubble from falling. Zord is safe for this round.
Zord's rules sound good. In addition when the top goes town they have a chance to land on their feet with a DC 10 acrobatics. there will be three rounds. POINT
Wise Mummy sprattleharsh raises her staff slowly then drops it down with a shout. ROUND 1! BEGIN!
A big toothy grin spreads across Wise Mummy Sprattelharsh's face. She gives Grubble Gruuu and Boggledook a meaningful glance. "It seems an impromptu dare is in the works. Would the other Chieftain's in waiting care to except?"
With a mighty leap Grubble incinerates the last stirge and decent amount of "dog" hair. The Birdcrunchers on the shore hoot and holler and dance around. Quite a few jump into the mucky water inspired by Zord. Others climb out onto the posts and begin to feast on the stirge's. Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh watches all the mayhem from a healthy distance and mutters to herself.
Woe to the birdcrunchers if Dogdog becomes chief.
The last stirge flies to and fro furiously. It rolls out of the way of the fire ball and then just barely manages to escape Dogdog's range before he stomps down hard on the plank. It turns and rushes at Dogdog, who takes the counter-attack right in between his shoulder and throat.
Together Boggledook and his fire bird finish off two more stirges. Only one remains.
Grubble nearly loses his balance when he throws the firebal but manages to keep his footing. The nearest sturge is incinerated on contact.
Boggldook slams the stirge with his torch. The creature wavers unsteadily in the air before looking back at its attacker with rage in its eyes.
You are fine for crossing the planks boggledook but you need to pass a DC 10 acrobatics to jump the gap between planks, which will also prevent you from charging. You are free to keep your attack once you make the jump (I think you only fail on a 1)
The firebird swoops down at one of the stirges but misses as the little creature swerves out of the way.
I can't figure out a way for Dogdog to stomp on the stirge with it embedded in his chest. You got the kill, but I'll need a grapple to pull it off first if you want the bonus point.
Dogdog brings his heavy boot down on a stirge's head with a loud popping sound. The other stirges buzz loudly a pull at their tethers. One manages to reach Dogdog and stab its barbed proboscis deep into the feral goblins chest.
Grubble Gruuu's flames burn right through the tethers and two charred stirges drop into the bog.
the five stirges within range of Zord's energy shrivel dangle by their tethers.
Perhaps at the next Birdcruncher chieftain moot there will be a channeled energy ban.
The next dare takes place in a bog to the west of the birdcruncher camp. At some point in the past the goblins tried to build huts on stilts here but all that remains are wooden posts sticking out of the mucky water. Planks have been laid across the posts to create a series of narrow bridges about 10 feet above the water. 12 stirges are tied to posts by 5 foot tethers. Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh stands before the bog and gestures to pile of old human boots. "Put these on. When I throw this- She holds up a strange yellow stone The dare will begin. Your goal is to stomp as many stirges as you can without falling into the stank-water. When only one chieftain-in-waiting remains standing of all of the stirges are dead the dare will be over." Once everyone has their big clunky boots on She throws the stone at on of the posts and it releases a loud Rolls:
Zord's shot is a wild miss and the goblins watching are quick to let him know quite loudly. After Dogdogs shot there is only stunned silence and then the loudest cheer yet, it takes quite a while for the goblins to quiet down enough for Sprattleharsh to say "Remove your blindfolds!" Without the blindfolds it is clear that this is not a group a marksman. One goblin sits against a tree with a black-fletched arrow in her shoulder. one Seagull lies on the ground with a brown-fletched arrow in its side. But far more interestingly than any of that is the large golden eagle, pinned by its throat to a large oak tree by another brown-fletched arrow. "It would seem that archery is not our Chieftains-in-waitings' hidden talent. Except this mongrel" The Wise Mummy then announces loudly the points. "Grubble Gruuu and Zord have proved themselves talent less as of yet. Boggledook too has been unimpressive but I award him a single point because I very much enjoyed watching Elgoo scream. Dogdog shockingly has displayed great skill and as such has been awarded thirteen points. We'll see in this next dare if the others can catch up!"
The crowd shouts again as Grubble sends an arrow into the ground at their feet before promptly erupting into flame. Boggledook mistakes the fart for the sound of birds and only misses Zord by dumb luck. The onlookers watch expectantly and impressively quiet as they wait for the last cage to be opened.
Dogdog and Zord both hear the sound of the last flock about 60 ft. away.
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