Unusual Allies (Inactive)

Game Master PhilOfCalth

A 4th Level Pathfinder Homebrew where everyone plays Kobolds


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Kobold Inquisitor 2 "Call me Inspector" 15/15 HP

Standoffish type. Got it.


Was going for overbearing and callous.


Male Kobold Level 1 Pistolero/Level 3 Trench Fighter

Ipreek looks towards Kax, and nods energetically. "Yes, discipline is good. Fire good, but not on you, not burning really good. I bring the 'clicks' and the 'booms,' and sneak good, make nice traps, I'm a good kobold." Boom-boom stands quietly for an awkward moment. "And I speak Common."


Male

"Yes yes" Zamoth raised his hands again as the noise of kobolds voicing their strengths reached a dangerous volume "but can you give us real examples of how your skills can aid this plan?"

Fetin elaborated enthusiastically
"How will your strength help convince the outside folk village that we are not monsters? How will your illusions convince the Luminous One that our plan is good? What will the 'clicks' and the 'booms' do to convince a humans that the master will protect them?"
By the time he was finished he was waving his staff around his head.


male HP: 33/33 | AC: 15/13/12| Fort: +7 | Ref: +5 | Will: +8 | Init: +3 | Perc: +3 | CMB: +3 | CMD: 16|Shorsword: +4;1d4+1| hidden preist 4

Grigg grows increasingly worried as the chief steers the crowd,he feels uncertain that he might be of any use to the quest at all.
"well i cloud my magic,making it easy for me and my companions to pass off as willing to befriend them,in doing so,i can increase diplomatic relations through being helpful towards them.
Grigg winches as he mentions this fact
"Although i might not be the most persuasive of kobolds."
Grigg fades off as he realises that might not have been the wisest thing to have said.


Male

That is the best answer so far. Of course we're looking for good fighters, healers, skill monkeys, etc, but we also need problem solvers. I as a DM like to present a problem and let my players think it through, giving as few hints as possible. So the question is for the players as much as it is for the characters


Purple Scaled Kobold Mad Dog Barbarian Level 4

"The Luminousss One knows my loyalty liesss with him and that I will alwaysss ssseek to do what is bessst for him. This includes putting my life on the line. A feat I have proven time and again," Dragoor would respond before continuing on to address the rest of the quetions. "While my ssstrength and control of my sssteed will ssshow the Humansss that while we are sssmall, we are capable of what we promissse. I will overcome any tessst they put before me to prove our worth."


Male Kobold Level 1 Pistolero/Level 3 Trench Fighter

"Booms are... impressive. If others can prove or intent, I can prove our... capability is not just bluster? Look impressive and scary too?" The kobold is clearly trying to choose his words more carefully. "If others can prove that we think not like monsters, and can be friendly, I can prove that we still fight like monsters and that it actually possible to fend off Tiefling army? Also, do speak their tongue, so less chance of causing misunderstandings, important for warriors who go be able to not start accidental fights. "


Kobold Inquisitor 2 "Call me Inspector" 15/15 HP

Neemer crosses his arms. "Tiefling kings is tricksy! We don't want them to take advantage of us, do we? We need skilled kobolds who know the outsiders' ways!"

"With some muscle to back it up and show that we are strong," he adds, elbowing his brother for emphasis.

Sovereign Court

Chronicle Sheets GM Busy At Work........

Scram speaks up now from his position mostly unnoticed by his fellow kobolds. His tongue easily noticable to lack the obvious sibilant hiss of most kobolds.

"I've have being with the longshanks and learnt their ways. I am versed in both their culture and language including those of the outside planes. I am no fighter, nor wizard nor even a mighty cleric of our Lord. I only know the outside world and how to survive. I can relay our Lord's words and intent and persuade the ignorant of our lord's Might and Gracious Demeanour." pausing to lick now suddenly dry lips as he realised more attention turns to him.

"I can ask the town leader to aid in protecting our Lord'ss interest and be our first line of negotiations and lure silly adventurers with their shiny things to us and let us 'relieve' them of their shinies and present them to our lord."

"I can speak and make my allies just seem that much better. In doing so I make our Lord greater. I offer my wits, and speaking ability to our Lord, far greater than all. If our Lord wishes it, then our Lord need only attend to matters that we, his humble servants, fails to resolve."

Scram starts feeling very nervous as his blue scales hides at least his blush somewhat as eyes begin to turn his way......


male HP: 33/33 | AC: 15/13/12| Fort: +7 | Ref: +5 | Will: +8 | Init: +3 | Perc: +3 | CMB: +3 | CMD: 16|Shorsword: +4;1d4+1| hidden preist 4

Grigg chuckles as scam finishes his speech.
"then indeed we have lost to such a capable servant as one with our master's scales.i suppose we could expect nothing less than the best" grigg annunciates out loud.


Male

"Well, little blue Kobold." Fetin croaked in response to Scram "Do you believe it's wise to tell the 'longshanks' of the Luminous One? Would in not make them more lightly to search for adventurers if we announce that a mighty dragon lives so near their town?"

Sovereign Court

Chronicle Sheets GM Busy At Work........

Scram cocks his head at the questions.
"The longshanks value valuables but they also value their own life and are greedy in their own ways." licking his dry lips now, Scram continues.

"Longshanks if told about something that will bring benefit to them will usually jump and kill each other for it. This group of longshanks might feel it best to have our Lord on their side and see the benefits of such arrangements. They do have to pay our Lord for such Gracious Protection." Scram continues to speak seeing that he already broke his cover already. So much for not stnding out.


Kobold Inquisitor 2 "Call me Inspector" 15/15 HP

"The cleverer humans will learn to respect and awe at the Luminious One's power, as we do," Neemer comments, thoughtfully. "Can any but the terminally foolish deny it?"


Male

"Can we trust them?" Zamoth responded "Would it not be better to tell them that our God would take care of it? Or that we have magical powers to protect them?"
The robed kobold waved around his hands to emphasise the gullibility that he assumed the townsfolk possessed.


Kobold Inquisitor 2 "Call me Inspector" 15/15 HP

"Brilliant idea, Mighty One!" Neemer replies smoothly, smiling up at the Chief. "I would support it wholeheartedly - were it not for the Tiefling King. Rumors say that he is a wily one. We would be best served by intimidating him into submission with Luemoth's might, rather than trying to trick them with lies of our powers, yes?"


"If dis petty king is so tricksy, then we needs to trap him." Kax declares. "We burns a few villages to lure him out, then sneak in the night and put him in a big sack!"


Male Kobold Level 1 Pistolero/Level 3 Trench Fighter

Clashing Boom-Boom shakes his head emphatically. "No, no no no, bad idea. Trust Luminous One, he chose to come in secret, secret he should stay. Longshanks greedy yes, dragon hordes well known though, make them greedier, attract more adventurers. Need to seem poor, not incite greed then. Protect the Luminous One."


Male

Fetin speaks up again
"The tefling king is a distant worry fighting his own war. Maybe he'll bring an army to subjugate the village, maybe not. We don't care!" the feeble once gold kobold pauses to allow everyone to take in the statement
"They are fearful and weak. We can give them hope and faith. They give us the eyes and ears in the outside world. What we pay is what you who go, negotiate we pay..."
Again he paused, allowing the silence to be laden with implication
"Making them talk and not just attack us kobolds on sight, that is the hard part. Who has ideas for this? I'm sure some Red Scales want to charge into the center of the town and demand them to work for us, but do we believe that will really work?"


Male Kobold Level 1 Pistolero/Level 3 Trench Fighter

Clashing Boom-Boom scratches the underside of his chin as Fetin speaks, then weighs in once more. "Way to show them our ability and willingness to defend them be best. But would probably require... providence? Like chance to actually defend town from sneaks or bandits, no way to..." He trails off, then with giddy excitement (though still trying to speak quietly) expounds on a new idea. "Oh! Boom-boom has idea! Great Luminous One has made us feared in caves, but there still many ugly bad things." Clashing Boom-Boom raises a finger in a somewhat lecturing pose. "But if we convince the ugly bad things that we want to work together to attack human town? We make providence. Then we attack the ugly bads, pinch them between us and human soldiers, and shout loudly in common about 'Protect the settlement!' and have... in road to longshanks, as we already proved to help defend them. ...Also get to kill orcs, hate those guys."


Male

Awesome! anyone else?


male HP: 33/33 | AC: 15/13/12| Fort: +7 | Ref: +5 | Will: +8 | Init: +3 | Perc: +3 | CMB: +3 | CMD: 16|Shorsword: +4;1d4+1| hidden preist 4

Grigg bursts out at boom-boom,clearly upset.
"NAY! This plan does not sit well with me. If the plan were to succeed,what would our standing with the cave orcs be? Would they then not spread the news of our treachery to any who would listen? Your plan would only serve to destabilise the uneasy peace we have among the the tribes.I will not risk the lives of our people for that. Perhaps you care not for that.what then happens if the village learns of our plan? Will our standing with them then be jeopardised? Will they come to know us,the faithful of our lord the great luemoth as nothing more than conmen?"
Grigg pauses and turns away from boom,now speaking to the chief
"Nay I say to that. I suggest we willingly go down there and serve them their needs.to show them that we as the servants of a great and powerful god are more of capable of providing for them.and through our services they will come to fear and respect us."


Male Kobold Level 1 Pistolero/Level 3 Trench Fighter

Boom-Boom listens to the tirade with a small, derisive sneer on his face. This suddenly drops at the mention of "Luemoth." As Grigg turns away, he hears a shriek of abject rage behind him. "YOU DARE!? YOU DARE SPEAK NAME OF THE SON OF CHRONEPSIS WHILE YOU DENY MY LOYALTY!?" In but a flitting moment in time, two pistols are in Clashing Boom-Boom's hands, while he fiercely glares up at the much larger kobold his tail thumps against the ground in restless anger and he coldly proclaims. "If Great Luminous One does not wish to kill Grigg himself, I Clashing Boom-Boom will happily show why the 'clicks' and the 'booms' are enough to prove us to longshanks."


male HP: 33/33 | AC: 15/13/12| Fort: +7 | Ref: +5 | Will: +8 | Init: +3 | Perc: +3 | CMB: +3 | CMD: 16|Shorsword: +4;1d4+1| hidden preist 4

Grigg raises his hands in a sign of surrender.
"brother I mention his name,so you may know how much it pains me so to hear of this trickery. Though my words may serve not to dissuade you from violence,I speak with a concerned heart. I scorn not your faith,deny not your loyalty,I simply fail to accept such a plan,one that might yield so many poor consequences."
Grigg grabs both of boom-boom's hands and pushes both the pistols against his forehead.
"fire if you will brother,but as I walk under his great shadow, a plan as such will not pass."


Male

As Grigg begins to explain himself a ball of lightnig coalesces directly before him before bursting and blowing both himself and any around him off their feet. Grigg is thrown backwards into the crowd landing roughly scratched and bruised with the wind knocked out of his lungs. Lucky to be alive he's certain that he could not take another blow like that.

On the stage Chieftain Zamoth is ignores the obvious retribution from his lord and answered the argument.
"The Orcs do not attack us out of fear not respect. We are Kobolds, trickery is our domain! You need not lie to the longshanks, but simply withhold some of the truth, if your conscience bothers you."
He says the word conscience as if it is an alien concept.


male HP: 33/33 | AC: 15/13/12| Fort: +7 | Ref: +5 | Will: +8 | Init: +3 | Perc: +3 | CMB: +3 | CMD: 16|Shorsword: +4;1d4+1| hidden preist 4

grigg bites his tongue hard and blood drips out of the corner of his mouth.
"forgive me my lord.I simply do not like the chances that news would slip out"
grigg falls to his knees and hisses sliently under his breath.
"shame,shame on me that i would move with such bloody scales, yet think with a weak mind. shame,shame on me for being so.Perhaps it would be best to follow the mask the mind and set free the scales.It would seem such it the way of the kobold."

Sovereign Court

Chronicle Sheets GM Busy At Work........

Scram considers all this and then speaks up.
"We are Kobolds. There is a King and a Town of longshanks that dislikes the king. We have Orcs and Orcs love fighting. We have our lord and while the others raise good point. Why do we not then form a kingdom of our own? The Orcs can be our armies as directed by we Kobolds. The Longshanks pay a tribute to our Mighty Lord for protection and they in turn are protected by their enemies and in time to come, it'll be in the tiefling's best interests to bow to our Lord as well."

Considering his words and possible uproar.
"We find longshanks willing to work with us. Longshanks who maybe able to present our case to the others and start as that as our first step."


Male Kobold Level 1 Pistolero/Level 3 Trench Fighter

Uh... Can I request some GM help here? Given the fluff material of:

GM Larkin wrote:
None may refer to Luemoth by his name, this is a great crime and is punishable instantly by death, often enacted by the magic of Luemoth himself. This is often carried out by electrocution, being turned to water, or simply being stamped on. By standers of Luemoth's wrath can often be injured or killed too. Sometime, in the face of obvious crimes, it is left to the kobolds around the offending one to enact the punishment.

I'm kind of obligated to kill Grigg, but I generally see that as a faux pass when we're actually playing, acceptable but generally avoided if possible. So I don't want to almost literally shoot someone's application, seems worse to end it when the character isn't even allowed off the ground. I mean, if we're running no take backs, then I guess I'll do it, but if there's any room for GM intervention, I think Grigg and I might need some of that right now.


Male

The ball of lightning that hit him can be considered Luemoth punishing Grigg himself. To further punish him would imply that Luemoth's punishment wasn't good enough, and may lead to YOU being punished!

What all that means is that you don't need to do anything more to punish Grigg. If chosen he'll be starting missing a hefty chunk on HP for his crime!


Male Kobold Level 1 Pistolero/Level 3 Trench Fighter

Ah whoops! Guess that's what I get for reading while sleepy. Missed the post that he got lightninged and thought Grigg's post beneath that was the one above said lightninging. Carry on good folks!

Smug in both his elders and his god apparently taking his side Boom-Boom retorts. "In plan we kill many many orcs. Pull their teeth, difficult to strike back, no? And orcs will be more feared by longshanks after, no chance of them warning treachery, even if they do, our intentions is to help longshanks, so nothing need hiding." He holsters the pistols, clearly seeing his rival get tossed across the room by his god's wrath was amusement and vengeance enough and weighs in on Scram's idea. "Perhaps kingdom later, once orcs weaker and longshanks allies, being kings easy. Right now, not so much."


male HP: 33/33 | AC: 15/13/12| Fort: +7 | Ref: +5 | Will: +8 | Init: +3 | Perc: +3 | CMB: +3 | CMD: 16|Shorsword: +4;1d4+1| hidden preist 4

Grigg grunts and nurses his wounds.clearly not amused by the act of divine smiting. He closes his eyes and lets his thoughts float to the yawning void where he supposes no deity would go. And in that slience, grigg finds himself, alone and at peace, alarmingly more so than when he first thought of the great one. His mutters to himself
"blasphemy. "
Though the words might as well have been a lie.
"let the savage blow sweet smoke of deceit into the snouts of the assembled, I will drink the bitter poison of heresy for having a heart." grigg comments, though the words fail to reach his own ears.nor the ears of anyone else, rregardless of whether they possessed ears to begin with.
getting stuck by lightning from saying luemoth reminds me of that sketch from monty python's "the life of brian." Public stoning for saying jehovah. On the subject of deities, i will be changing grigg's patron deity from asmodeus to better suit his personality.also, grigg considers luemoth as a sperate deity from his own patron though he pays tribute to them both.i hope that's okay with you GM!


Male

That's fine so long as you either:
A/ Worship Luemoth more
B/ Hide your worship of Asmodeus

Will this change your role as healer at all?


male HP: 33/33 | AC: 15/13/12| Fort: +7 | Ref: +5 | Will: +8 | Init: +3 | Perc: +3 | CMB: +3 | CMD: 16|Shorsword: +4;1d4+1| hidden preist 4

still a hidden cleric,so that means I'm hiding worship. And no it will not change my role as a healer.


'Saving' the townsfolk from orcs and gnolls that we sic on them is a good plan thinks Kax. But has one major fault... I didn't think of it!

He chitters with glee as Grigg is smote. Gears grind a moment in his tiny lizard brain before speaking "It going to be hard. We gots to convince orcs to attack during day so pink skins can see us save them. Night easier for raiding, but no good if town sleep through attack and saving."


Male Kobold Level 1 Pistolero/Level 3 Trench Fighter

"Maybe make it early in night? Early enough that longshanks still wake but late enough for orcs to be happy?"


Male

Also most of you will not be able to see in full daylight.

"Evening is the only option for such an attack. In the day the Orc's ability to see in the full light will give them the advantage. In the night the humans inability to see in the dark will stop them from seeing who their rescuers are..." Fetin spoke up.


male HP: 33/33 | AC: 15/13/12| Fort: +7 | Ref: +5 | Will: +8 | Init: +3 | Perc: +3 | CMB: +3 | CMD: 16|Shorsword: +4;1d4+1| hidden preist 4

Grigg apologies to boom-boom knowing full well he is now in the wrong.
"forgive me my brother,I know not what I say.indeed you carry the favour of our lord and I will not question your motives again."
Turning to fetin, he asks.
"wise elder, is there anything that might provide cover to our blindness?"


Male

"Clouded skies, the canope of the forrest, night time, perhaps even some magical implements" Fetin responds rubbing his ellongated chin.

From elsewhere within the crowd another calls out.
"Lords! I have a stable where I train many beasts. I would gift the party a pack animal of their choosing. What type would be best, I have many!

That's an in character and out of character question!


male HP: 33/33 | AC: 15/13/12| Fort: +7 | Ref: +5 | Will: +8 | Init: +3 | Perc: +3 | CMB: +3 | CMD: 16|Shorsword: +4;1d4+1| hidden preist 4

Grigg taps his finger on his bleeding chin, contemplating the question.
"a horse or donkey would be the best in making first impressions with the longshanks being familar, though their dull appearance does not live up to the status as one like our lord's.a more unique animal like a pesudodragon or gecko would confirm our Lord's splendor and define our status as followers for the great one. "
Grigg stops to cough up more blood, letting the others fill in his void.


"Horse? I no ride what I eat," declares Kax. "Horse too big to ride and smell funny. Much prefer slurk or dire weasel."

Shadow Lodge

HP: 16/22

"We should leave the slurs and weasels behind lest the humes think we're raiders. I agree that a horse or donkey would be better, but a cow would be best, and maybe a well-behaved gecko to pique interest. One of the dull colored ones would be fantastic to the people in the village, I would say."

Sovereign Court

Chronicle Sheets GM Busy At Work........

"Horse woud be best. Especially as a gift to show the longshanks that we are sincere. The longshanks place much status on horse and a fine one to their leader would make them more receptive to us." Scram points out.

"While interesting to show, the longshanks must see that we are serious and if we present such a fine gift to them, they'll be hard pressed to say no to hearing us out." Scram explains.

Scram has due to being such a weakling


Male

"A horse I could give you, but living in the caves all it's life, I don't know if the longshanks will thank you for this gift..." the same voice responds from the crowd


male HP: 33/33 | AC: 15/13/12| Fort: +7 | Ref: +5 | Will: +8 | Init: +3 | Perc: +3 | CMB: +3 | CMD: 16|Shorsword: +4;1d4+1| hidden preist 4

"What do you recommend brother?" Grigg enquires.
"Surely you must have a prized beast that would be worthy of our lord."


Kobold Inquisitor 2 "Call me Inspector" 15/15 HP

Checking in, still here, just listening.


Purple Scaled Kobold Mad Dog Barbarian Level 4

I'm still here as well. Last week just got rather busy for me.


male HP: 33/33 | AC: 15/13/12| Fort: +7 | Ref: +5 | Will: +8 | Init: +3 | Perc: +3 | CMB: +3 | CMD: 16|Shorsword: +4;1d4+1| hidden preist 4

"brother neemer,brother dragoor.surely you must have an opinion? What should be our pack animal?"

Sovereign Court

Chronicle Sheets GM Busy At Work........

Scram considers.
"We'll need one majestic enough to awe the longshanks yet be comfortable both aboveground and below."

"Brothers!" He turns.

"Do any of us know what beast we could think off." Scram appeals to his fellow kobolds.


"Nothing more majestic than weasel!" Kax answers. "We do this to annex pink skins into Luminous one's glorious empire. We not adopt their ways, they adopt ours!"

Proof


Male Kobold Level 1 Pistolero/Level 3 Trench Fighter

Clashing Boom-Boom listens to the debate for a while in silence, then chimes in. "I spend much time on surface, not too familiar with what animals be best from our caves. But is beast for burden, not riding, no? Perhaps many ask the wrong questions. Something fancy good, impressive. Plan is for making humans trust us, rest should be to impress."

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