The Goblin Games/We Be Goblins (Inactive)

Game Master Wolfwaker

It's an exciting day in Brinestump Marsh. First, it was discovered that one of the goblins knew how to read and write. (Bad mojo, as everyone knows, writing steals the words from your head.) The goblins held him down and drew on his face, naming him Scribbleface, and then ran him out of town before setting fire to his hut. (Everyone loves a good fire.)

But before the hut was burned, His Mighty Girthness Chief Rendwattle Gutwad, found that Scribbleface had discovered the secret location of a cache of fireworks. The chief, impressed with the potential of a large quantity of explosives, has declared a festival and a competition to select an elite goblin squad to go and retrieve the fireworks. Right now, there is a barbecue going on, and the goblins are running around playing (and arguing about) various ball games, seeing what kind of things will burn, and just enjoying the general mayhem.

Describe what your character looks like and what he is doing.

Gurp, a pudgy goblin wearing a crude skull mask and tribal fetishes, is wandering around on the back of his pet slug, Squishy. He looks around at the gathered goblins with distaste. "Stupid gobbos. They go round and burn pieces of swamp! Fools! They games stupid too. We so much better, Squishy." Gurp munches on a lizard as he rants to his companion. "That right, Squishy. They pay for what they do to swamp. Bad luck for Licktoads." The slug, meanwhile, is completely ignoring the ranting goblin on its back and is trying to sneak some food from the barbecue with its tongue.

Ronk, a average looking Goblin, is sitting on a stump with his big bonking stick across his lap and his red face cap secured safely on his head. He is using his fang file to sharpen his teeth while staring longingly with wide eyes at the location where the completions will begin.

Medge sits by herself on some boxes, her peg leg propped up on a crate. Soft music can be heard by her. She sings a song about stabbing things and taking their money. A small toad peeks his head out from her over sized hat.

A bunch of goblin kids run up and challenge Gurp's slug to a race, then run off laughing. Some goblins are seeing how far they can kick a lumpy ball. An old goblin is ranting about Scribbleface and his books, and how youngsters should know better. A loose goat is being pursued by some other kids, one of them is trying to ride it.

Ronk sighs and stands up and says loudly "Why hasn't the completion started!" He looks hopelessly around. Then falls flat on his face and begin to ramble into the dirt "Bored! I just want to bonk stuff! OR set fire to stuff, fire would be good. Light the path to my power. Soon they will know! Know and respect my power." Ronk remains face first on the ground.

"You stupid brats! Squishy beat all of you! CHAAARGE!" Gurp kicks his heels into the slug's sides, and Squishy slowly slithers in the general direction of the children. The children easily outpace him, and Gurp yells after them. "Stupid babies! Squishy just tired! He get you good next time!"

"Did someone say FIREWORKS?" Twitchy, a rather skinny female goblin in a big, floppy hat flies in on Fluffer Buttkins, her giant vulture hatchling. Twitchy is so excited, she doesn't wait for Fluffer to land. Instead, she jumps off just around 10 feet in the air.

Acrobatics: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (17) + 7 = 24

She bounces, cartwheels and bounces again. "Who makes the biggest BOOMs in the village? Me! Me! Where is this competition? We must join quest to bring the great fireworks of BOOM back to the village!"

Unattended, Fluffer has started to head over to snatch some of the barbecue.

With the arrival of the skinny screaming Goblin Ronk, who was beginning to doze off will sit back up. "Biggest boom? Has it started! HAS IT BEGUN?" He screams as he waves his Bonk Stick in the air.

Twitchy begins to sing:
"We is in Brinestump Marsh,
Many gobbos, competition harsh
But Twitchy fast and Twitchy smart
(Can cook up long shanks in a tart)
Not afraid of doom & gloom
We compete, then seek BOOM!"

She looks around from side to side, and then says to Ronk, "Looks like competition not started yet. Wanna eat barbecue before it's all gone?"

She goes off to the barbecue without checking if Ronk is following. She snatches a piece, rips it, and gives half to Fluffer.

A squad of goblins brings out Chief Gutwad, an enormously fat goblin, on his six-foot high teeter chair, towering over the goblins. A hush settles over the camp as everyone's attention is drawn to the chief. He speaks out in a deep voice. "Greetings Licktoads. You all know we be the best goblin tribe. Today we have games to find the best Licktoads. The winners get special presents from me, and get to go on special mission."

There is a cheer from the crowd at the prospect of some excitement, although some of the older and wiser goblins try to make themselves inconspicuous.

The games begin with a series of goblin dares. The first one is called "Dance With Squealy Nord". Squealy Nord is a large (to a goblin) pig that is kept in a muddy pen. A crowd of enthusiastic goblins gathers around, challenging each other to try the dare.

Ride DC 15 check. You must succeed 3 times in a row. If you fail, DC10 Reflex save or take1 d3 damage.

Helpful hint. You can use the preview function to see the results of each die roll before entering the next one. The results should not change while you edit the message, as long as you don't change the order of the rolls. (I trust you not to abuse this.)

"Ha! Riding Squealy is nothing compared to riding Squishy!" Gurp swaggers up to the pig with supreme confidence.
Ride: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (9) + 11 = 20
Ride: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (3) + 11 = 14
Reflex: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (1) + 3 = 4
Damage: 1d3 ⇒ 2
Unfortunately, Gurp is used to the sticky slime on Squishy's back keeping him in place. He gets launched high into the air, and lands head first on a stump.
That's about how well this board lets me roll. :P

The goblins all laugh at Gurp's predicament, and then begin calling for someone else to try it.

Twitchy looks up, her mouth full of barbecue. She swallows, and then says, "Me, Me!"

She pats Fluffer and whispers, "Don't worry. Still like my Fluffer the best, but gotta go riding on nasty squealy not-yet-bacon."

She bounces up to Squealy Nord. Squealy attempts to throw her, but she hangs on.
Ride: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (18) + 11 = 29
Ride: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (9) + 11 = 20
Ride: 1d20 + 11 ⇒ (19) + 11 = 30

She cartwheels off the pig.
Acrobatics: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (8) + 7 = 15

She looks around the room, pumps her chest and says:

"Twitchy now gone riding
Not off piggy butt be sliding
She kept her grip, no piggy slip...
Who's next? No hiding!"

____________________
Ouch! Gurp! May the dice behave better for you on the challenges ahead.

Used to riding a vulture, Twitchy has no problems on the pig. The goblins are a little disappointed that she wasn't injured, but give a cheer anyway at the acrobatic display. The chief booms in approval. "That's how you ride a pig. Who can beat her?"

Gurp sits up on the stump, and spits out a tooth. He stumbles over to Squishy, flops down on his back, and starts yelling at the goblin crowd. "Gurp could have done that! Gurp...just...rusty..." He passes out on Squishy's back.

Ronk runs forward "Finally it begins. Ronk will ride this Squealy!"

Ride: 1d1001 + 100d1001 + 100d204 + 15d208 + 192 ⇒ (196) + (459, 94, 606, 617, 386, 152, 179, 371, 222, 967, 971, 19, 517, 357, 27, 988, 660, 795, 522, 244, 453, 8, 414, 9, 454, 163, 170, 75, 292, 218, 832, 170, 809, 810, 948, 510, 742, 723, 294, 897, 773, 475, 183, 822, 467, 783, 21, 267, 2, 218, 606, 139, 874, 167, 852, 505, 605, 465, 622, 876, 632, 209, 758, 600, 390, 961, 191, 191, 644, 887, 635, 493, 715, 669, 29, 934, 225, 606, 611, 171, 240, 439, 103, 826, 414, 39, 334, 26, 898, 720, 496, 216, 638, 884, 807, 669, 169, 955, 245, 790) + (73, 185, 102, 107, 19, 173, 130, 165, 197, 131, 64, 171, 72, 117, 52, 65, 188, 121, 95, 170, 194, 187, 122, 187, 81, 134, 105, 187, 172, 124, 147, 150, 55, 122, 126, 100, 127, 183, 92, 13, 193, 84, 153, 52, 103, 166, 105, 93, 78, 81, 154, 8, 48, 43, 159, 104, 109, 97, 49, 172, 106, 156, 131, 81, 138, 203, 57, 33, 56, 188, 69, 44, 119, 82, 201, 190, 1, 19, 81, 101, 203, 100, 102, 197, 137, 2, 6, 53, 46, 186, 90, 188, 176, 102, 101, 134, 138, 51, 186, 186) + (90, 161, 188, 124, 132, 188, 77, 124, 67, 9, 19, 198, 82, 27, 98) + 192 = 61793

Ronk races up and climbs on to Squealy Nord and at first seems to hang on with skill only to be viscously bucked from the pig. Ronk flies through the air and lands a few feet away on his head. Ronk immideatly stands up and charges Squealy Nord screaming "That is not how my tale goes!"

so no idea why it looked like that! How do i get the skill to show correctly? I rolled a 20, 16, and then a 4 and each of those get a 1 added. The reflex was a 6 on the dice and I add a 1 so 7 was the total

You forgot to close the expression. Each line should look like:

[ dice = Ride ] d20 + 1 [ /dice ]

but without the spaces.

ride: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (10) + 1 = 11
but where does the number i rolled go?

[dice=ride]d20+1

but where does the number i rolled go?

The forum remembers your rolls when you edit a post, but when you make a new post, that's a new roll.

Twitchy pokes Gurp back awake. "You're missing it! Ronk just charged Squealy Nord! There might be a fight... and bacon!"

[dice=ride]d20+1

but where does the number i rolled go?

Oh, I think I see the misunderstanding. The forum will actually compute a random number for you when you do a dice expression. I presume you were actually doing rolls physically.

Grup starts back to consciousness. "A fight? With demon pig?! He crazy! That thing eat his face off!" Gurp grins evilly, licking the space where his tooth was knocked out. "Come, Squishy! We watch!" He kicks his heels into the slug's sides, and the duo slowly slide toward the pigpen.

Squealy Nord charges about angrily, upset at the indignities he has already endured. The goblins start chanting, 'Who's next? Who's next?'.

"I ride the squealy nord!" Medge stomps over to the pen. "Medge is the bravest gob in town!"

Ride: 1d20 ⇒ 7
Acrobatics: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (4) + 8 = 12
Reflex: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (11) + 6 = 17

Unfortunately for Medge her grip isn't too good and she flies right off on the first buck. She twists a somersault in the air and sticks the landing; pretty good for someone with a peg leg. She shouts "I meant to do that! Squealy nord is dumb!"

I get it now and assume its the same for attacks, like my charging the Squealy Nord. Let me know if I can engage it.

As the pig races off after cruelly throwing Medge Ronk readjusts his charge and screams "After I Bonk him he will start to obey or I will bonk him again"

It looks like Medge should have +8 on the ride for success. Go ahead and do 2 more ride checks.

Ronk Bonk: attacks, skill checks, any kind of roll works the same. You can attack the pig if you like but rest assured you will get plenty of chances to bonk something.

I will wait till Medge has done the other ride checks then decide if Ronk will bonk

Twitchy whispers to Gurp. "Looks like Ronk is gonna wait to charge the pig. Wanna help me find Flamefinger?" Twitchy has a crafty gleam in her eye. "I think he be hiding... Let's make him ride pig,
watch him fall BIG!"

I'm hoping you can come join us, Talas.

I do? She doesn't have ride trained. Is it from acrobatics?

ride: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (11) + 8 = 19ride: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (16) + 8 = 24

Twitchy watches open-jawed as Medge manages to barely hang on through the first buck, and then gets better and better with each successive buck, followed by Medge's final cartwheel on to her peg leg.

"Huh." She pats Fluffer. "We learned lesson today. Never underestimate pirates."

__________

Nope. Medge has +4 from her phenomenal dex and +4 from the goblin racial bonus. You can add both to your untrained roll.

Both Medge and Twitchy manage to stay on the angry pig for the allotted time. The goblin running the games, a long-eared greyish goblin named Grack, announces the next event. "This one is called Eat a Bag of Bull Slugs Real Quick. You have one minute to eat these." He reveals one bag, containg five squirmy sausage-sized slugs.

You must make 5 Fortitude saves out of 10 chances. Difficulty is DC 10, or DC 15 if you choose to spit out the slime bladder--your choice, but eating that part might make you sick.

Twitchy looks at the Bull Slugs. Just how poisonous are the nasty, slimy things?

Knowledge (Nature): 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (3) + 7 = 10

Unfortunately, she has absolutely no idea. Being paranoid, she'll spit out the slime bladder anyway.

Fortitude: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (20) + 3 = 23
Fortitude: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (7) + 3 = 10

The first one was okay, but then the taste came back up on the second one. Twitchy gags, runs to the bushes and pukes.

"Bleah, tastes worse than snail snot!" She looks at what's remaining in the bag. "Maybe Squealy will eat them?"

Twitchy, you only have to succeed 5/10 times so you can keep going.

If you make the skill check, you can read the spoiler.

Oh, it's only a DC 10 knowledge check?

Twitchy sees Ronk staring at her, apparently rendered speechless by the spectacular run for the bushes.

She wipes her mouth on her sleeve and decides to make the rest of her attempts from the bag before the minute's up. Because she puked up both her previous slugs, she tries to swallow the remaining 5.

Fortitude: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (15) + 3 = 18
Fortitude: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (19) + 3 = 22
Fortitude: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (12) + 3 = 15
Fortitude: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (12) + 3 = 15
Fortitude: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (19) + 3 = 22

She manages to choke down 5 more slugs, though the third and fourth ones looked iffy for a moment. She spits out the slime bladder each time.

"Twitchy has swallowed Slugs,
(Not as tasty as roasted bugs)
They wriggle and taste of goo.
Who's next? It's up to you!"

Question to GM. I have the skill, but the DC on that knowledge skill is only 10. Do you rule that anyone can try the roll untrained on a DC 10 check?

_________

Twitchy looks around to see if anyone else will try eating the slugs. Who else can I get to puke?

She looks at Ronk, Medge and Gurp and waves bags full of wriggly bull slugs at them.

"Slugs taste like the back end of fishes,
But maybe to you -- they're delicious?"

Knowledge checks of DC 10 are less can be attempted by anyone.

Flamefinger rubs his bald head as he hears the other goblins mention his name, his very large ears helping him pick up details. He looked down at his lizard fetish necklace and tattered robes. "As newest tribe shaman, Flamefinger must get to help with new mission. Prove Flamefingers' flame fingers actually good for tribe, not just excitement. Flamfinger not going to be amusement clown! But Flamefinger not good with animals. Especially not eating animals. Hmm...Maybe they kills the oinker. Than Flamefinger make bacon to please Chief. Make flashy, firey entrace Flamefinger will!"

Twitchy turned. Was that muttering behind me?

But all she saw was a flash of tattered robes. That Flamefinger, hiding again. He be tricksy, but we'll find him soon enough. She holds up the bag of bull slugs. "We be brave goblins! We can eat anything! Who's next?"

Gurp recoils in horror. "Monster! You eat baby squishies?! The swamp give you thousand thousand curses!"

Twitchy looks in the bag full of squirming bull slugs, then looks back at Gurp and his giant slug. "Wait... Those were Squishy's babies?"

She looks green... Well, greener than usual. Good thing we didn't have to swallow Squishy. Bleah! Biggest gagfest of all time.

She takes Gurp aside, and whispers to him. "No need for your creepy swamp juju. Think those slug babies already gave me thousand thousand curses, just sliding down my throat."

Diplomacy: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (16) - 1 = 15

"How 'bout this... I make big sad song 'bout sluggy sacrifice, and promise to never eat another bull slug again?" Be easy promise to keep. Who'd wanna eat those nasty things again? "What you say? Can we work together? We gotta bring back fireworks! Is our holy mission."

Medge looks conflicted. "Chief wants us to eat slugs for the games...but Medge doesn't want thousand thousand curses! What is poor Medge going to do?. Medge puffs herself up and yells at Grack. "HEY! You trying to trick brave gobs? Nobody wants thousand thousand curses for eating dumb bugs!"

Grack calls out, "Twitchy is the fastest slug eater. Anygobby else want to try?"

If you want you can still do that one while we move on to the next one.

"Next one is called Climb Up Tree and Get Some Honey." He leads you to a tall straight pine* tree which has some bees buzzing around, some 30 feet in the air. "And no birdies!" He glares at the vulture.

Do pine trees grow in swamps? This one does.

Twitchy shoves the bag of bull slugs back to Grack. "No birdies?! " She wails, "But is way up high!"

She stomps off, muttering to herself, "First we get demon pig -- but Twitchy overcame that. Then we get nasty, slimy slugs -- and Twitchy ate them, despite wriggly nastiness. Then came thousand thousand curses, and evil swamp juju... But this! High tree! Big biting bees! No birdie!"

Twitchy looks around.

Perception: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (18) + 4 = 22

Is there any rope around here? Or anything else that could help me climb?

Knowledge (Nature): 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (16) + 7 = 23

Twitchy wonders: Would smoke lull the bees? Or anything else?

______________
To the GM: Would handle animal skill help with this, or does it not work on vermin?

Correction, should be 20'.

"No riding birdies." he repeats. "And no ropes."

Twitchy pauses, takes a deep breath. "Wait a minute... Been thinking about this wrong. Twitchy not built for climbing... Twitchy built for PLANNING!"

She runs back to the others. "I have some ideas for how to get up tree, then handle bees. Grack said, 'No birdies and no ropes.' But he didn't say, 'No teamwork.' Want my help?"

_____________

To speed things up, Twitchy will share the information in the GM's spoilers if the other party members ask for help.

While she is waiting for the others to respond, Twitchy offers to Gurp the song she had promised him.

*Ahem*

"Song of the Sad Sad Slugs

A thousand thousand curses sound!
Listen, goblins, and take note:
Slugs are better on the ground
Than slithering down your throat!"

Grack throws the bag of slugs at Twitchy. "Fine, take the slugs if you don't like the game."

Twitchy catches the bag, and gives it to Gurp. "Got them back for you! Now you can care for all of Squishy's babies."

Then she whispers to Gurp. "Got any swampy mojo to help with this bee challenge?"