The chief ponderously stands up from his chair and announces. "We play fun game. This one for all gobs. Hide or Get Clubbed." The crowd cheers with recognition. "Any gob who wants to can hide. The others get to find them and whack them. Best hider wins." The goblin villagers start looking for good sticks.
Before Ronk can continue dreaming the morning away, Twitchy wakes him.
"Ronk, is time to compete!
Wake up now! On your feet!
Chief say we all got to hide
Or go get clubbed outside!"
Twitchy looks around. Medge is up, Gurp is up, Ronk is sort of waking... though why was he mumbling my name in his sleep? No, don't think about that.
Who am I missing? After a minute, it comes to her. Flamefinger. "Good, he hiding already! I better hurry and do the same!"
She finds some thick overgrowth to hide in.
Yes, no one will find me here!
Ronk leaps up a and screams "Finally! We will bonk them all!"Ronk races out of his house bonking stick raised over his head. "Where is the Gobs to be bonked?"
"Gurp will hide! Gurp will be best hider! Stay here and look after baby Squishys, Squishy."
Gurp dives headfirst into a thicket, confident he won't be spotted.
Flamefinger sees the foreign substance floating down around him. "This stuff cold! Flamefinger hates cold! Flamefinger is about flames! Not cold fluffies!" Flamefinger looks at the challenge before him, then back to the team mates that had already either failed or succeeded. "You gobs play. Flamefinger going to hut, out of cold fluffy." When Flamefinger gets home he finds a sock in his floor. When he picks it up he finds a fancy looking dagger. He puts it under his pillow and sleeps with it close by. Flamefinger jumps awake the next morning, dagger in hand. "Why did Flamefinger hear Ronk singing while sleep? Hmm...Must be bad bacon. Flamefinger then hears that the games were beginning again. He leaps out of bed a runs to hide.
Twitchy blanches as she overhears Ronk talking about joining in the clubbing. Ronk bonking? Some gob is gonna die.
"Yikes, Medge doesn't want to get bonked by Ronk! Time for the sneakyness."
Medge hides inside a large bush, the leaves providing excellent camouflage.
Ronk squeals in joy Finally a trial for Ronk!
This is our time to SHINE!
All the Goblins for us to Bonk
This is our time to shine! He races out into the village to find his first victim.
Ronk looks around for a little while and then screams "Flamefinger! We are going to teach you the proper art Bonking. Twitchy... You should be fine with the bombs and all. Medge you are welcome to this lesson or you can try to hide from us. Grup! Anyone hits Gurp and We will Bonk them! NONE SHALL STRIKE THE SWAMP!!!... All others are my target! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!"
That's smart..., Twitchy thought. With big ears helping him, Ronk might find lots of other gobs to bonk.
Flamefingers ears twitch after hearing Ronks offer. "Mojos and mights...heh. We beats all gobos!!" Flamefinger jumps out of the bush he was hiding in an listens for snickers, twigs snapping, or other signs of gobs.
Unfortunately, Flamefinger hears no sign of his comrades.
And some for random goblin searchers.
Gurp, Medge, and Twitchy all find excellent hiding places in the swamp. It takes quite a while, but Gurp and Medge are finally found by villagers and promptly bonked on the head. Ronk and Flamefinger do not find their new teammates, but they do manage to bonk a few less stealthy goblins. Twitchy is declared the champion of Hide or Get Clubbed.
Twitchy comes out for her victory dance.
"Ronk and Flamefinger,
They went clubbing
Something other gobs
Not be loving!
Our Medge and Gurp
They took some hits
But other goblins
Got blown to bits
By bonks from Ronk
(Hope no one died)
But Twitchy smart
She knew to hide!"
Twitchy drags Magga over with her healing stick to the others.
"Whack my friends with your stick
Heal them Magga, heal them quick!"
"We said no bonking the swamp!" Ronk frantically searches for the foolish Goblin who hit Gurp.
Gurp rubs the bump on his head and grimaces. "Ronk right! Whoever bonked Gurp get twenty swamp curses! TWENTY!" He then looks over to Twitchy. "Good job, Twitchy. Swamp smiles at you for victory." He sighs. "Is there bacon left? Gurp need many mouth-fulls, and baby Squishys need food."
Twitchy wonders if she spotted the goblin who bonked Ronk:
However, her hiding place was so good she had trouble seeing out of it!
Twitchy beams at Gurp's congratulations, but then thinks, Only twenty swamp curses for bonking Gurp, yet thousand thousand curses for eating slugs? Gurp has powerful swamp mojo, but perhaps not so powerful math skills...
Medge rubs her head "Ouch, first bonk from gob then bonk from Magga's stick. Too much bonking for Medge!"
Medge tries to see who bonked Gurp but she has no luck
Twitchy stomps up to Grack. "So, Grack, are all the contests done now, or have we got more to do?"
What other twisted ideas going to come out of Grack's head?
Ronk walks over to Twitchy and tugs on her arm. But they bonked the swamp.
Twitchy takes Ronk's hand and holds it. "Okay, we find out FIRST who bonked the Swamp, and THEN we find out if there is more to do in contest."
She turns back to Grack and smiles, "Grack, you see EVERYTHING in the village, right? You watching this contest all the time like good gob judge. "
Twitchy looks up at Ronk and pats the barbarian's hand. "You see, Ronk want to bonk someone real bad for Gurp getting hurt, since he told EVERYONE not to bonk the swamp. You tell us who did it, and everybody gets to watch Ronk's revenge! Fun!"
A broad toothy grin erupts on Ronks face Yes! WE will avenge the damage to the swamp! WHO DID IT!!! WE WILL BONK ALL GOBLINS TO GET TO THE SWAMP BONKING FOOL! BONK YOU LIKE WE BONKED THE SQUEALY NORD! Ronk waves his bonking stick in the air while screaming the last part.
Grack refuses to answer, saying that bonking is part of the game.
The chief calls Medge, Twitchy, Ronk Bonk, Flamefinger, and Gurp into his hut for a special meeting. "I watch all goblins, and you the smartest and bravest, except for me. Well, maybe Ronk not so smart but he the strongest. So I choose you for special mission to find fireworks." He hands you a crudely drawn map. (Drawing is OK if you don't write letters.)
"Now I loan out special items. These help you complete mission. But bring them back."
For eating slugs the best and riding Squealy Nord, and being the best hider, Twitchy gets a "Ring that Lets You Climb Real Good" and also the Chief's "Very Useful Robe that is Useful".
For an impressive martial display in slaying the hog, Ronk Bonk gets the Gorge of Gluttons (a +1 Horse-Bane dogslicer)
For climbing the tree and getting the honey, Medge gets a "Dragon's Brew Gourd" (elixir of fire breath).
Gurp is loaned one of Magga's healing sticks (5 charges of CLW).
The chief hands Flamefinger a big jar full of flies. "This might be very handy if you meet Lotslegs."
Twitchy is very excited by both the robe and the ring.
Funny that Chief loan me the ring when Fluffer can fly! But maybe Twitchy can loan the ring to Medge or one of the others. Then again, maybe the Chief realized how much Medge hate climbing after her battle with the tree!
The robe is especially stylish, and goes well with her floppy hat. Twitchy twirls around in her robe like a little girl would with a swishy tutu, excited about how it feels.
"Chief Gutwad, these patches... Is Twitchy right they each can only be used once?"
Pity. I wanna try them out now, but gotta wait!
After she looks at the map, she tries to think about what she knows about the various locations and things depicted on the map:
Twitchy thinks back to the jar of flies, and the term "Lotslegs."
Ronk takes a deep breath and looks back and forth between his precious bonking stick and the shiny dog slicer. Confusion on his face. Why would Chief do this to us? We just got a greater bonking stick and this wont bonk. What are we supposed to do with it. Flat side we might be able to bonk with... maybe... Though Flamefinger only got bugs! At least we got something better than that! Ronks confusion is replaces with a lopsided grin hehe
Gurp gazes at the stick with poorly disguised wonder. "Chief, I know you not get along with me and the swamp sometimes, what with you being bad at proper swamp-repect. But if you keep giving Gurp free things, the swamp might forgive you. Maybe."
Twitchy pulls Gurp and Ronk aside after all three thank the Chief after being selected.
"Grack refused to tell us who bonked Gurp!"
She looks around from side to side, to make sure no one else is listening.
"Mission must come first. Our tribe needs boom! However, when we come back... Let's burn Grack's house as part of victory celebration! What you think? Good plan?"
If Gurp and Ronk agree to the plan, Twitchy will also let Medge and Flamefinger know the plan when they are done thanking the Chief.
Medge pockets the bottle "Thanks chief! We won't fail you!" One hand pops into a proper salute.
Ronk looks at Gurp with a serious look on his face We will get vengance Gurp, we swear!
Twitchy exclaims, "The flames engulfing Grack's house will be like none the village has ever seen!"
Working together, the goblins have a good working knowledge of the dangers of Brinestump Marsh. The goblins live there because humans are mostly afraid to venture in, on account of poisonous plants, toothy creatures, and so on. Some of the more common dangers are wild dogs (yecch!), giant bugs, giant snakes, and giant frogs. And the most fearsome of all is a legendary giant spider called Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many. Goblins tell stories of her to scare each other. Her territory is rumored to include part of Scribbleface's trail.
Perhaps as fearsome as Lotslegs is an old goblin named Vorka. She is rumored to have been the wife of a chieftain of another village, until she killed and ate him.
The map goes from the Licktoad village to an old shipwreck. It looks like following the creek from the village will arrive at this shipwreck in a swampy area near the coast.
You can go ahead and make any preparations you need before setting out.
"Giant Spiders! Old Cannibals! Dogs! This be one scary trip! But at least we got the best pirate there is for exploring that old shipwreck."
Twitchy beams at her friends.
"Are we all ready to go? I say we pack up the last of the pig. (If there is no pig, maybe we can steal rations from Grack's house?) I'm taking Flutter. Gurp, are you riding Squishy? Do we need anything else?"
She also pauses one last time to admire the ring on her finger. Then she thinks, sadly, I'm not the one who needs this.
_______________________________
She takes Ronk aside.
"Ronk, you my best friend in all the village. We hold each other's hats. We had snow ball fight together! You even pet my birdie, Fluffer, and sing songs with me." She smiles up at him. "You also got big heart. You protect Gurp, and teach Flamefinger to bonk. I can be brave because I know I go with you."
"About this ring I got from the Chief..." she looks down, suddenly nervous. "I think that Medge sick of climbing after her battle with the pine tree, and Gurp, Flamefinger and I not built as climbers. Besides... I fly!"
"But you strongest gob in all the goblin village. Stronger even than Gutwad. You be a good climber, maybe even better with this ring. Will you... will you wear this ring for me?"
She puts it on Ronk's hand. "Yes, it look better on you."
Medge rubs her hands together. "Old shipwreaks are good! Maybe we find hidden treasure! Medge grins I don't know if there is pig left, but stealing rations from Grack sounds like good fun!
"Where is Grack?"
"Medge, do you see him?"
"No, I don't think he here. Maybe he's with the chief? We could go look at his house really quick, be very sneaky"
"Yeah, we both be sneaky gobs -- maybe sneakiest gobs in the village!"
Twitchy grins at Medge. "Let's see if he's home. If he is, we just lie and say we're there to thank him for running contest for us!"
Twitchy sneaks up to Grack's house with Medge.
Medge follows after Twitchy, a wide grin on her face. She sneaks up to a window and peeks inside.