[PFS] Master of the Fallen Fortress - Whimsy Romp [RD] (Inactive)

Game Master Andrew Harasty

"Aye, we shall." replies Bob, dropping the but of his gun to the ground. "Iffen you'll permit me a moment, gotta get 'er ready fer some more fun. Aint no chance ta take her out much."

Without waiting for an answer, the man begins the process of reloading his musket.

Glancing around the room, he inquires "Jess beasty in 'ere? Aint no pretties ta be had?"

"I suppose not. Aside from Elfie, of course, that is!" Rapier at the ready, the High Fool continues to the next room.

Perception: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (8) + 6 = 14

Seemingly without regard for what the others are up to, Gahlethea storms into the middle of the room.

"That's it, you people!"[/b] she shouts. ”What does a girl have to do around here to have someone help her remove a…*shudder*… tail?I?” the blonde witch says in huff. She stamps her foot down into one of the puddles on the floor, then tries to surreptitiously sidestep out of it upon realizing that she had splashed a series of fresh mud stains onto her gown.

”I asked, nicely… I asked if I could borrow something sharp … I even offered some morsels...” she folds arms together in a snit, then flings them wide as she shouts, ”Morsels! People! Morsels!” She glares at the others. ”But you were all tooooo busy doing that killey and stabbey and burney thing to this…this” She glances down at the dead lizard , trying to find the right words, ”this…this!” Satisfied that she has found the best word she could, she continues. ”Instead of helping poor, old, me with my …*shudder*… situation."

She slowly looks down at the tail-like protrusion dangling from the back of her dress. ”I have a ….*shudder*… tail.” she cries. ”I have ….*shudder*… fur.” she whines looking at the tufts of hair stuck to her clothing. She looks down at her hands. ”I even have a ….*shudder*… hand-like handey things.” she whimpers. ”If someone doesn’t do something soon, I might…” she closes her eyes and tightens her lips, as if contemplating a thought too horrific to say out loud. Yet, she continues to speak. ”I could… I may already have…a pair of…*shudder*...”

She slowly turns her head around with her eyes still closed, shakily attempting to take a glance what may be on her back, but cannot bring herself to do so.

Then, she stops and opens her eyes wide. "Wait a minute. Did someone just call Elphie... pretty" she asks with a growing smile. It's working! My project is working! I'm helping Elphie become popular!

"Are we going to be talking all day, or are we going to keep looking for the McGuffin? I don't mind flirting with a dumb blond, but there is a tower here to explore."

Maria blushes briefly and then overthinks everything. Oh that's sweet, I hope it doesn't distract from our job here. I haven't had a gentleman caller since I left home. Wait did he just imply I was to be had? Hrmm... now I don't know if that is a complement or an insult. Probably just overthinking this...

She rolls her eyes briefly and points into a corner, "there is an arrowhead over there you could use to remove the unwanted parts of your dress, but please don't cut off much. Our group is distracted enough."

She pauses, but then can't help but add, "you can barely see the wings, I wouldn't worry about it."

As he finishes packing his musket, Bob frowns slightly. "The painted one aint blond..."

Shaking his head, he pulls out a fancy dagger. "Gotcha dear." he replies. With but a flick of his wrist, the tail lays motionless on the floor. Stowing the blade, he nods to the young lady. "All betta now. Elph...er...Maria lets be shoven off now."

Dagger vs Tail: 1d20 ⇒ 20

"Are we going to be talking all day, or are we going to keep looking for the McGuffin? I don't mind flirting with a dumb blond, but there is a tower here to explore."

"Well said, Sparks!" says Gahlethea. Why do they call him that anyways? With a new found pride in herself, she adds. "You're next! Er, I mean, what's next?" she asks aloud as she thinks, After all, if I can work my popularization techniques on Elphie, then I should be able to work them as easily on this student here! Now, how can I help him. Oh, yes, he did mention the ‘McGriffin’. He must be hungry. I forgot to offer him any morsels!

She rolls her eyes briefly and points into a corner, "there is an arrowhead over there you could use to remove the unwanted parts of your dress, but please don't cut off much. Our group is distracted enough."

She pauses, but then can't help but add, "you can barely see the wings, I wouldn't worry about it."

Did she just calls us ‘disattractive’? She must still feel bad about her looks even after someone said she was ‘pretty’. She could use some self-esteemotional support! I guess she needs more work, too!

She pauses, but then can't help but add, "you can barely see the wings, I wouldn't worry about it."

Did she say…*shudder*…wings?!? Gahlethea starts to panic, an intense scream begins to build up inside of her—her lungs begin filling with air, expanding more and more, until…

Shaking his head, he pulls out a fancy dagger. "Gotcha dear." he replies. With but a flick of his wrist, the tail lays motionless on the floor. Stowing the blade, he nods to the young lady. "All betta now. Elph...er...Maria lets be shoven off now."

”Oh. Well, that was easy.” Gahlethea says as she exhales. ” Thank you…. uh, Bobbles… isn’t it?” she says, being rather unsure of herself. ”I appreciate your help.”

Seeing the group join him, Sparks opens the door and steps through.

'Bobbles?' considers the man with a raised eyebrow. "No worries." he replies, making his way to the door.

Glancing back over his shoulder, he adds "Na, just handled yer tail."

Oh! Just realized I gained a grit point back for downing the lizard. :-)

Maria did open the door earlier if anyone was wondering, but it ended up being the last post on the prior page.

Gahlethea screams, "AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!hhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhh...*breath*...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

Oh no! The rare 'screaming birds' are back!!!

In my home gaming group the GM and his wife have little kids, so when they are uh... having a fit those birds tend to show up in game.

Opening door you see racks for weapons line the walls of this chamber; above the racks hang various shields, pieces of armor, weapons, and standards on display. Most of the racks are empty, but a few weapons remain in place. A horrible stench fills the room as well, akin to the smell of rotten eggs mixed with the reek of an open sewer.

Two lizard like humanoids holding javelins stand ready. The loud boom of Bob's musket might of had something to do with that.

The each throw their javelins at Sparks as he enters the room:

Atk, Troglodyte Javelin: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (12) + 2 = 14
Dmg, Troglodyte Javelin: 1d4 - 1 ⇒ (2) - 1 = 1
Atk, Troglodyte Javelin: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (14) + 2 = 16
Dmg, Troglodyte Javelin: 1d4 - 1 ⇒ (1) - 1 = 0 1 Non-Lethal

Both hit but with little force. They draw their clubs and get ready for your assault.

Oh no! The rare 'screaming birds' are back!!!

In my home gaming group the GM and his wife have little kids, so when they are uh... having a fit those birds tend to show up in game.

The "screaming birds" are common in my house. I have three kids. Youngest just turned 4 last weekend. His brother is 8 and his sister is 10. She is slowly becoming less of a "screaming" bird and more of a "singing/giggling/yelling/loud-talking/interrupting" bird. I love all three very much! However, it is not conducive to quiet. Also, I haven't run a home game since my first son was born. I haven't had a regular gaming group since just after my third was born.

Kids aren't the most conducive to regular gaming, but they did get me back in PFS, which brought led me to get into PbP, which brings me here, so there you go!

Who knows? In a few years, the kids may be my gaming group!

Gahlethea screams, "AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!hhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhh...*breath*...ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

The rabbit tries to console the witch, if such a thing is possible.

"Is her name really 'Elphie'?" the High Fool asks absently as they move from room to room. "I thought it was 'Elfie.' She is an elf, after all!"

I have two little girls, and I hope they and the forthcoming kids of my gaming friends will have their own gaming table someday-- an adults campaign and a kids campaign! But yes, our house has been known to hold a screaming bird or two.

Sparks takes a 5' step to the side to allows others to pass in front of him. Insulting the Troglodytes for their blunt weapons and poor aim, Sparks allies weapons burst into flames.

The each throw their javelins at Sparks as he enters the room:

Both hit but with little force. They draw their clubs and get ready for your assault.

The sound of Sparks getting hit with javelins startles Gahlethea out of her scream. Suddenly, realizing what is happening, the witch-without-wings flies...*ahem*.. I mean to say... she storms swiftly into the next room!. However, she is stopped in her tracks just as quickly once she catches a whiff of the foul air.

Standing just barely inside the room, she yells. "You can't hit...um.. Sparkley, isn't it(?)... with sticks! He's my project!" And with that she utters words that seem to originate from deep within, drawing upon the very essence of who she is.

Then, she rolls her hips and casts a spell.

Gahlethea casts daze on the nearest (orange?) troglodyte. Will save DC 15 or else humanoid creature of 4 HD or less takes no action for 1 round.

Momentarily distracted by extremely loud screaming, Maria just watches as the Blonde darts into the room and does... something. Not to be outdone, she also moves into the room and assesses the situation. This is odd. Each room has a different occupant. Almost like an apartment building. I wonder if the spider was the landlord? It would make sense. They are usually on the first floor and have the best room. That was definitely the best room down there. Maybe the landlord is at the top of the tower? I guess that is possible too. Oh... what was I doing. Oh yeah, shooting these stinky things in the face!

She first tries to figure out exactly why the room stinks so much, then takes careful aim and fires at one of the creatures.

Momentarily distracted by extremely loud screaming, Maria just watches as the Blonde darts into the room and does... something. Not to be outdone, she also moves into the room and assesses the situation. This is odd. Each room has a different occupant. Almost like an apartment building. I wonder if the spider was the landlord?

Great observation! It first made wonder if perhaps the man with the accent back as the tavern is an absentee landlord, who employed adventures to "evict" his old tenants so that he could make room for new ones. But then, I realized how much of a slum this tower really is... crumbling ceiling, standing water, vermin, etc... and it made me think that the the McGuffin must be the last pillar holding the place up or perhaps some fire-starting kit. It would appear that the party is just a group of pawns in some insurance scheme! "I had this great little apartment complex in the Cairnlands, it had a nice view of the bones and everything! Then, one day, these so-called adventurers showed up. They got past my watchdogs, pierced my web of security, shot a hole in my electrical generator...really messed up the place. What could I do? So, anyways, make the check out to... ah... me. Yeah, that's it. No don't write down that "ah" part, it was silent. Its Kellish."

The High Fool moves into the room and pokes at one of the creatures.

Rapier: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (15) + 6 = 21
Damage: 1d6 + 4 ⇒ (6) + 4 = 10

Gahlethea steps and stares down the stinky lizard man.

will sv: 1d20 + 0 ⇒ (8) + 0 = 8

It stands there dazed while Maria arrow hits true and slays the creature.

The High Fool steps in and before his is overcome by the stench is able to get a quick thrust in and slay the one before him.

Maria realizes that these are young troglodytes. Not too powerful, but still smelly that could cause a person to be sickened. The High Fool hit regarless of the sickened condition so it does not need to make the save

Most of the few remaining arms in the room have rusted away, making them useless in combat. However, the following valuable items can still be found: a masterwork silver dagger, a masterwork light steel shield emblazoned with a leaping dolphin, and a banner depicting a bird made of living flame.

The door in the eastern wall leads to the tower’s central staircase. Although the lower portion of the staircase has collapsed, cutting off access to the ground floor, the staircase is whole on this floor and above and can be used to access the rest of the tower’s upper levels.

Giggling softly as the woman takes off screaming, the sounds of battle reaches the man's ears. "Eh, more trouble ahead?"

Shoving his way into the room, he stops abruptly. "OOOOweee! One o ya need ta lay off them beans."

Leveling the barrel at the beast with the red hue, he pulls the trigger. *KerPop* the projectile seems sluggish as it closes the distance between the pair.

Ninja'd by GM. :-P No worries. All happens so fast! I'm fine with shooting the downed troglodyte

Quickly reloading his weapon as he eyes the room. With a mouthful of powder, he asks "PHso anyfin *cough* worf haken?"

K: Local DC 20: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (15) + 6 = 21

Maria's eyes catch light of the banner and she recognizes it instantly. Going into a long rendition about the "Band of the Phoenix" and the history of their famous hunting lodge way back during the Age of Blades she prattles on for a while, regardless of anyone's interest.

When the items have been collected and/or used she will check the stairs for further dangers and then slowly work her way up.

Perception: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (17) + 4 = 21

Maria's eyes catch light of the banner and she recognizes it instantly. Going into a long rendition about the "Band of the Phoenix" and the history of their famous hunting lodge way back during the Age of Blades she prattles on for a while, regardless of anyone's interest.

When the items have been collected and/or used she will check the stairs for further dangers and then slowly work her way up.

Gahlethea has no wish to linger in this room. She scrunches up her face and says, "Eww! It is soooo smelley in here!"

Likewise, Gahlethea has little interest in the dusty, old, clearly-out-of-fashion banner. However, once Maria starts talking, the witch begins to listen very intently (okay, not really intently--not even sort of intently--but she does manage to pick out a few of the words. Once Maria finishes speaking, the blonde witch responds, "Oh, Elphie! I've heard of 'house hunting' and 'apartment hunting', but this 'lodge hunting' sounds even more grand! I didn't realize that you were so into buying properties and realer orchestrating and stuff like that! Teehee!"

The witch squeals in delight. "Once we finish this field trip... just where are those other students anyways?... we simply have to room together! Oh, yes! Let's buy a mansion together!"

"Dibbseys on roomsies with Elphie!" she yells out to the others before reaching out to give Maria a hug. "I called it first so, now, it is totally offishicable."

"Complain all you want about the smell, I have been around worse. Besides, stuff like this will make you a better person."

"Oh, yes." Gahlethea responds, seeming to recall a memory (as opposed to recalling something else?). "You must be referring to that 'student funk' that always seems to appear around finals time."

She pauses as if having a thought. "Ooooh! Maybe we could find the missing field trip by sniffing them out!" she suggests.

The rabbit buries its head in the basket.

Heading to the southern door.

The High Fool notices that the door is rigged to shoot a javelin at anyone coming from the other side. It is easy enough to open and avoid. The octagonal room itself is covered in a fine layer of dust. It’s clearly been abandoned for a long time.

Heading up the stairs you reach the third floor.

Nothing out of the ordinary is heard.

Maria looks at her allies to make sure at least several of them aren't taking a nap or distracted with whatever, then pulls open the door.

"I hope that when the field trip group came through here that none of them got killed by that comtrapturion with the javelin back there. It sure looks dangerous. Whoever built this place must really hate students." remarks Gahlethea, attempting to adopt the analytical tone of her roomie, Maria. I bet Elphie can't wait for us besties to room together now!

Approaching the third floor, Gahlethea notes, "I don't hear or" recalling way back to the discussion had on the prior floor about 'student funk', she adds, "smell anything out of the ordinary." She shrugs. "But where else could those students have gone?" The witch looks at the others. "Shall I try the door?"

The rabbit unburies its head out of the basket feeling a bit left out, if such a thing is possible. Peering its head out of the witch's basket, the rabbit tries its hand, so to speak, at looking around.

Perception: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4

Two stone altars, one black and one white, sit at either end of this large chamber, which takes up two wings of the tower on this level. The crumbling remains of wooden benches sag in front of each altar beneath rotting ceiling tapestries. Carved symbols and writings snake along the walls. The burnt corpses of two troglodytes lie on the floor in the center of the room.

Two burning Skeletons are in the room, one standing at each Altar.

Skeletons rush up to Maria. One is still able to attack.

Skeleton Scimitar.Attack: 1d20 + 0 ⇒ (11) + 0 = 11

But is unable to connect to the flat-footed archer.

Everyone up.

As the scimitar slashes down and deflects off her leather armor, Maria silently thanks her archery master who always used to advise, reflexes are great... but sometimes you just don't see an attack coming. There is no shame in armor. The only shame comes from death to stupidity.

Dashing forward she tucks and rolls, attempting to avoid further slashes. Standing back up, she pulls the bowstring back with another arrow knocked and fires. As she releases, she wonders, is the arrow even going to do any damage to a skeleton? Hrmm...

K: Religion: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (19) + 6 = 25

If that Knowledge check nets more questions than the one she is wondering about DR, Maria would like to know what the 'burning' part of burning skeleton may refer too.

"Being on fire I don't think that my fire abilities will do much to hurt them. However..."

Sparks takes a 5' step forward (free action), uses a swift action to utilize Arcane Strike for +1 damage, and then swing at the nearest skeleton.

Weapon: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (16) + 5 = 21
Damage: 1d8 + 5 ⇒ (2) + 5 = 7

"Oh poo," the High Fool says with a furled brow. "These ones died ages ago! Now they won't even count." He twists through the burning skeletons' swords, hoping to avoid their attacks. Then he strikes with his rapier.

Acrobatics vs CMD: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (19) + 7 = 26

Rapier: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (4) + 6 = 10
Damage: 1d6 + 4 ⇒ (5) + 4 = 9

Maria realizes these are like normal skeletons DR 5/bludgeoning they also do additional fire damage when they hit, and are vulnerable to cold unlike their non-burning counterparts.

She moves though but is unable to dodge the swing of the blue tinted skeleton.

Skeleton Scimitar.Attack: 1d20 + 0 ⇒ (11) + 0 = 11

But is quick enough to stay out of the way of the burning sword. But it puts her off balance enough to miss her own shot.

The High Fool safely moves though but is unable to land a blow.

Sparks gets up and hits the one skeleton and cracks it, but his sword is not as effective as expected.

Bob and Gahlethea/Fuzzelworth are still up

"Being on fire I don't think that my fire abilities will do much to hurt them. However..."

Upon hearing Zippo speak, Gahlethea looks at flamesinger, then looks at the burning skeletons, and then looks at the flamesinger again. Her eyes flash wide-open.

"Don't hurt them!" the witch yells to the others. "Don't you see? We found them! Those are the missing students! See? They look just like Sparkley here!"

Then, getting a closer look at the "students", Gahlethea suddenly notices something unusual about them. Oh, dear! she cries out internally, The poor students look like their emacey-eated! They must be so hungry! After all, they left the tavern before us and probably didn't bring any food with them!

"I've just got to have some morsel left in here for them to eat." Gahlethea utters aloud as she digs into her basket. Then, upon feeling the warmth from the flames hit her skin, she also "realizes", "And in this heat, they must also be really thirsty!"

As the witch talks aloud and reaches into the basket, the rabbit hands, if such a thing is possible, a flask of clear, refreshing-looking liquid to the witch.

Gahlethea pulls the flask out of her basket. move action

Then she moves next to the flamesinger in preparation to follow him through the door into the room and offer a soothing beverage to the enflamed "students" within. second move action

"Whatch got in 'ere? Flamin students?" inquires Bob as he move to get a better look.

"No can see 'em well from 'ere. Just lotsa fire! Wowza! If yall kin make sum room or move 'em into door there..." he calls out, leveling his musket at the door.

As Bob readies his shot the skeletons attack.

The blue tinted flaming one swings at The High Fool
Skeleton Scimitar, Attack: 1d20 + 0 ⇒ (7) + 0 = 7
But misses wide. However the Fool's counter attack does not land.

The orange flaming one swings at Sparks
Skeleton Scimitar.Attack: 1d20 + 0 ⇒ (10) + 0 = 10
But the nibble bard gets out of the way in time to avoid the flames.

Everyone is back up

Keeping Arcane Strike up, Sparks once again swings at the burning skeletons. You know, if they weren't trying to attack us, I'd be more than happy to talk to them, to get to know these guys!

Weapon: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (20) + 5 = 25
Damage: 1d8 + 5 ⇒ (1) + 5 = 6

Weapon - Crit Confirm?: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (19) + 5 = 24
Damage: 1d8 + 5 ⇒ (8) + 5 = 13

With a solid hit, Sparks shatters the skeleton as it falls down in pile of dust and ash.

With a solid hit, Sparks shatters the skeleton as it falls down in pile of dust and ash.

Gahlethea looks on in horror as Sparks destroys the skeleton. "Sparkley! That is no way to treat a fellow student! Honestly, don't they teach you people manners in school?

Melee Attack(touch): 1d20 - 2 ⇒ (12) - 2 = 10

Sorry, if I messed up your shot, Bob. I had hoped that Gahlethea would have finished off the skeleton before you had to go. I tried to go for a funny finale for the undead and now my character's likely to get a flaming hit to her hit points, instead! *Sigh* I suppose that it is true what they say, "Dying (for PCs) is easy. Comedy is hard."

Ok so one panache point spent last round.

The High Fool knocks the skeleton's scimitar harmlessly aside with his rapier, but his counterattack goes right through the creature's ribs. "Stick it full of holes, Sir Boom! Only they're already made of holes! We'll just have to make the holes bigger, then, won't we?"

Rapier: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (13) + 6 = 19
Damage: 1d6 + 4 ⇒ (1) + 4 = 5

Maria bolts past the crumbling skeleton, taking advantage of her movement to power a kick aimed towards the pelvis of the remaining enemy. Maybe if it is distracted with the Fool I can get a good shot in.

AC 12 for the round.

Galethea stares agape at the actions of The High Fool, Maria, and the others and their collective treatment of the "students". I never would have guessed there were SO many critics of higher education.

Then, the witch immediately stops having any further such thoughts, at least in a manner that omniscient readers can understand, so that she (and I) do not run the risk of violating any of the various prohibitions on these boards regarding the discussion of politics or other potentially controversial subjects. There is nothing else to see here. Please move onto the next post.

The rabbit conveniently provides another post to move onto, if such a thing is possible.

"Didja get 'em? Them thins be dun?" inquires Bob as he forces his way into the room. Spotting the flaming remnant from the Abyss, he twirls away. "Oye! Cudda warned a guy!"

The man's years of dance classes show themself as he bounces off Maria, Ms Gahlthea, and finally the fool. White paint smudges his right cheek. "AAAAAAHHHH!!! GET OFF!" screams the man as he forgets the foe and sprints for the far wall. "I be infected!!"