GM G's Goblin Mayhem

Game Master Magabeus

Struggling harder and harder, Poog tries to free himself :

Fortitude: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (1) + 5 = 6 (P.S. - rolled Fort above last, but called it Strength)
1 HP taken,

Strength: 1d20 + 0 ⇒ (19) + 0 = 19
but breaking free!

"Ah-ha! Me free, me free! Now to get out of this mess!" Poog crows, and climbs out as fast as he can.
5 points for being second one out, I believe.

I was going to ask about killing eagles from outside the pie, too, once I got free. All you said above was "killing an eagle", so that count from outside the pie, too?

yes, inquiring minds want to know, lol

to hit (an already injured one if there is one) with hand crossbow: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (13) + 7 = 20
dmg if hits: 1d4 ⇒ 2

I was going to ask about killing eagles from outside the pie, too, once I got free. All you said above was "killing an eagle", so that count from outside the pie, too?

I for one, would find that very frustrating, since I could have been the first out. The directions seem to suggest that we could do one or the other, but I guess we’ll see.

I don't know if it's allowed... if they stop me, or say no, well then the roll won't count... if they say no afterwards, someone else will be that much closer to killing an eagle, cause I doubt 2 points will kill one... this is kinda like killing with alch fire and stuff on the logs, which they didn't specifically say no to, but allowed anyway.

If you're out, you're out. No shooting from outside!

Mogmurch tries to break free, but fails. At least he gets used to the heat of the pie. Reta slashes at the eagle again and hits. Poog finally breaks free and crawls out of the pie, covered in rotten milk, bird feathers and mud. Chuffy shoots a bolt at one of the eagles with his crossbow and hits. This does not kill the eagle, but Wise Mummy raises her hand and shouts. "You stop helping others in the pie! You are out! Now go and clean your face!"

Fort Eagle 2: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (15) + 3 = 18
Fort Eagle 3: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (2) + 3 = 5
Fort Eagle 4: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (5) + 3 = 8

The eagles continue to attack, but their peaks are sticky with pie goo.
Eagle 2 vs. Reta: 1d20 + 3 - 4 ⇒ (3) + 3 - 4 = 2
Eagle 3 vs. Mogmurch: 1d20 + 3 - 4 ⇒ (18) + 3 - 4 = 17
Eagle 4 vs. Mogmurch: 1d20 + 3 - 4 ⇒ (16) + 3 - 4 = 15

new round, Reta and Mogmurch still in the pie

Fort: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (9) + 5 = 14

Reta slashes again and again at the wounded eagle, channeling her fury and lust for power into the blade.

Dogslicer: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (10) + 8 = 18
Damage: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (2) + 1 = 3

Reta attacks another eagly, chopping its head off and adding blood flavor to the pie.

waiting for Mogmurch

Oops, sorry, I thought I'd posted but I guess not!

Strength Check: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (12) - 1 = 11
Fortitude Save: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (6) + 6 = 12

Mogmurch continues to thrash about in the pie, and while he manages to fling gobs of goo everywhere, his attempts to break free remain fruitless.

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Mogmurch's patetic attempts to break free makes the crowd laugh. But at least the heat of the boiling pie does not harm him.

Reta & Mogmurch still in the pie

Fort: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (5) + 5 = 10

Dogslicer: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (1) + 8 = 9
Damage: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (4) + 1 = 5

Slipping in the steamy goo, Reta thrashes wildly at another bird.      (I'll pick one that looks the weakest, or barring that, the closest.)

Chuffee cheers on MOg and Reta in the goo! "Cmon Mog, you can DO it!... Go Reta!"

Reta stabs at another eagle, but misses. At least she barely resists the heat.

Mog's turn

Strength Check: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (15) - 1 = 14 Fortitude Save: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (2) + 6 = 8

"Ow owie ow! Mogmurch no like this stupid test!" he protests as he continues to thrash against his bonds, the heat from the pie now seeping through and beginning to burn him.

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Fort: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (16) + 5 = 21

Dogslicer: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (1) + 8 = 9
Damage: 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4

To speed things up a bit, should we just post a series of actions?

Reta strings together a veritable tapestry of profanity as she hacks away at the poached birds.

Good idea, Reta! Mog, do you want to post a few actions and I will resolve it after that.

Well, before it gets even more boring...

Mogmurch continues his attempts to break the rope while Reta stabs the remaining eagles.
Str: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (4) - 1 = 3 Fort: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (8) + 6 = 14
Reta misses

Mogmurch gets weaker and weaker, feeling the heat of the pie. Reta misses again.
Str: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (16) - 1 = 15 Fort: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (1) + 6 = 7
Reta misses

Finally Mogmurch manages to break free and climbs out of the pie while Reta kills another eagle.
Str: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (20) - 1 = 19 Fort: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (6) + 6 = 12

Wise Mummy approaches the pie pit and shouts. "That's it! Drown the remaining eagle and get the pie ready! And get the winner out of there!"

After counting dots on a board and discussing the sense of meaning of points and calculations Wise Mummy approaches the crowd. "We have a new chieftain!" She picks up the Crunchy Crown. "Reta, take this hat as the sign of your position!" Wise Mummy says and puts the crown on Reta's bulky head. "The rest of you are Subchieftains!"

The crown is nonmagical, but grants a +2 bonus on all Intimidate checks against Birdcruncher goblins.

For the rest of the evening, the Birdcrunchers are in a celebratory mood — they have a new leader, after all! During this time, the chieftain and subchieftains are the focus of goblin pandemonium. Some of the subjects prostrate themselves before the new leaders, moistening their feet with kisses and runny noses, while others scream and sob and bring gifts of food and offers of goblin frolicking.

Goblin after goblin comes forward to try to impress the new leaders — by juggling live stoats, by head-butting stumps, and particularly, by setting things on fire... themselves included.

After some drinks, snail tails and eagle pie, several goblins carry a filthy chest in front of you. Among the 840 gp in assorted coins, art objects, trophies, jars of pickles, shiny rocks, dented armor fragments, broken dogslicers, and bird parts in various stages of decay are the following items of particular interest: four potions of cure moderate wounds, a potion of fire resistance, a wand of lesser restoration (9 charges), a +1 flaming dogslicer, a Small cloak of elvenkind, a bead of force, a necklace of fireballs (type I), and 5 ounces of sovereign glue.

Reveling in the revelry and enjoying the goblin-on-goblin frolicking as MUCH as possible - this is probably the only time in his life Poog has *ever* had any attention paid to him! The good kind, that is.

P.S. - Moggy's owner is spending a LOT of O/T at work lately due to the nature of the job and the time of year - he was even there yesterday (Thanksgiving day)! I'm sure he's ok with you 'botting him.

Chuffee cheers on Reta and dances about as she is declared the new chieftain... he has a great time being fawned on by the other goblins as well... When teh chest comes out, his eyes boggle at the coins and other items. He takes one of the four cure potions since they are all alike and there are four of them after all... and his eyes light on the cloak with a little grimace... halfway between a smile and a look of disgust...

"Made by nassty pointy longshanks, but me want this..." He pulls it out of the chest and wipes his butt with it. the goblin equivalent of licking it to claim ownership, lol "Now it not smell like filthy elfseez any more."

would LOVE the dogslicer, but figure Reta will want that even more than chuffee does

“Pottys? Boom booms? SHINY!” Reta gasps, snatching the cloak of elvenkind. “I call it... SHINYCLOAK!”

If I take the cloak, that gets everyone but Poog a min +15 on Stealth. Anything Chuffy can't sneak past with an 18 will likely notice the other leadfeet in our group, anyway. Then again, he’s the only one with Sneak Attack, so that just ups his chances of extra damage out of the gate. How about you pick one, and I'll take the other – your choice. Sound good?

The necklace would give Moggy more opportunities to blow stuff up, Poog could take the wand,we each hold a potion of CMW, and the remaining items we use as needed.

Sounds good to me...

I see, I assume Moggy's owner is Santa Clause :D

The Birdcrunchers expect their new leader to head out the very next day to challenge and, hopefully, defeat or drive off the ogre known as Pa Munchmeat. Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh has a few words of advice for you before you set off - she warns them that the fire-breathing pigs breathe fire, and that Pa Munchmeat hits hard. He also casts spooky plant spells and has a mean daughter with a pet weasel bigger than a horse, and there might be other monsters living on the farm as well. She gives you a crude map of the area that shows the way to Pa Munchmeat's farm before shooing you on your way, implying (if not outright saying) that you shouldn't bother returning to the Birdcrunchers until the task is done.

The Munchmeat Farm lies about two-thirds of a mile from the Birdcruncher village. As the bird flies, it's a relatively short distance; on foot through the trackless tors, it's an hour-long walk to get to the farm. Wise Mummy Sprattleharsh's map is crude but accurate.

Reta makes a big show of their procession from the village, encouraging cheers where she finds them. “Lickt... er.. Birdcruchers go! We SMASH Munchmeets and his fire-piggies!”

As they approach the farm, Reta signals for a quiet approach – gesturing for Chuffy and Mogmurch to scout ahead.

Chuffy, did you want the cloak, or blade?

like the cloak but will take blade let you have cloak

Reta creeps forward with Chuffy and Mogmurch to inspect Munchmeat Farm, eyes sharp for ogres, dire weasels, and fire-breathing pigs.

Perception, Darkvision 60': 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (11) + 10 = 21

Stealth: 1d20 + 15 ⇒ (8) + 15 = 23

Just a reminder that Reta has Scent vs Dogs, Wolves, etc.

Thanks, Poog -- I appreciate your explaining my situation. And no, GM, there is no Sanity Clause in my employment contract; that's why I'm working so much O/T. :op

Kinda frustrating because I'm not allowed to talk about it until after its done. So all I can say is I'm closer to the end than the beginning, and I thank everyone for their patience. And absolutely don't hesitate to bot whenever necessary.

Since the time of revelry is so far back, I won't disrupt things by role-playing Moggy's glee at the necklace of boom-booms, but he definitely pounced on it. The rest of the apportionment plan sounds good too.

Mogmurch creeps forward with the advance guard.

Stealth: 1d20 + 15 ⇒ (8) + 15 = 23
Perception: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (3) + 5 = 8 Oh yes, he's a very helpful scout...

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Sulking at being the only one left behind, Poog talks quietly to his toad.

Was there anything set up about how long Poog should wait before following? Or is he just following a couple dozen feet behind?

You get closer to the farm and suddenly Reta spots a creature not far away. It looks like a boar gobbling down a gourd. The boar turns its head towards you and attempts to come your way.

Surprise
Reta
Mogmurch

Round 1
Chuffy
Reta
Mogmurch
-----------
Piggy

It's your turn :)

was waiting for Reta and Moggy to move/act in the surprise round

"Oinky food!" Mogmurch hisses with a slobbery grin as he reaches into his pack to ready a bomb.

Fluff; alchemical bombs don't need readying. But the boar (love the choice of avatar by the way) is out of range for a bomb, Moggy has no bow, and there's not much he can do until it gets closer.

Chuffy fires a crossbow bolt at the big pig.

to hit: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (19) + 7 = 26
dmg if hits: 1d3 ⇒ 2

to confirm: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (18) + 7 = 25
extra dmg if hits: 1d3 ⇒ 2

Taking a bead on the piggy, Reta draws an arrow, and releases.

MW Shortbow: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (15) + 8 = 23
Damage: 1d4 ⇒ 2

While Mogmurch prepares a bomb Reta fires an arrow at the pig which just appeared. The arrow hits the target. Chuffy fires a crossbow bolt at the animal and hits it in the chest.

Round 1
Chuffy
Reta
Mogmurch
Poog (GM)
-----------
Piggy -6HP

Quick as a flash, Reta sends another arrow hurtling toward the porcine target.

MW Shortbow: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (16) + 8 = 24
Damage: 1d4 ⇒ 4

You can delay Moggy, the pig's still out of range.

While mogmurch still holds his bomb Reta fires another arrow at the approaching pig. Poog prepares a fire bolt to shoot it as soon as the pig gets in range. The pig rushes forward, you can see fire in its mouth and snout. double move Poog's fire bolt hit's the animal as it passes by, but the bolt leaves only a scorched area on the pig's skin.
RTA: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (12) + 5 = 17

Round 2
Chuffy
Reta
Mogmurch
Poog (GM)
-----------
Piggy -10HP

Chuffee fires another bolt at the pig, then moves to the side, drawing his little sword.

to hit: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (20) + 7 = 27
dmg if hits: 1d3 ⇒ 3

to confirm crit: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (17) + 7 = 24
addl dmg if crits: 1d3 ⇒ 2

“Looks out!” Reta warns, firing her bow as she removes herself from the charging mass of flaming ham.

MW Shortbow: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (9) + 8 = 17
Damage: 1d4 ⇒ 4

"You not enoughs on fire, Mogmurch help!"

The alchemist starts to lob his readied bomb...

Ranged Bomb: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (2) + 8 = 10

... but in his rapid backpedaling from the charging bore, his heel catches on a root and he stumbles just as he throws.

Miss Direction: 1d8 ⇒ 1 Falls short.

Sorry gang; Chuffee, Mogmurch, Pig and Poog all take 4HP each unless they manage a DC 13 Reflex Save.

Reflex Save: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (4) + 7 = 11 Owie.

refl save: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (19) + 7 = 26

Reflex Poog: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (20) + 6 = 26 what a waste...
Reflex Pig: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (15) + 4 = 19

Chuffy shoots a bolt at the pig before drawing a sword and hits it in the eye. Reta shoots another arrow at the animal, but it's deflected by the remarkably strong hide of the soon-to-be-roast-pork. Mogmurch hurls a bomb at the pig, but suddenly a root grows in front of his feet just in that moment, he pretends, only to make him stumble and drop the bomb.

Poog shoots another fire bolt at the pig.
RTA: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (20) + 5 = 25
Confirm?: 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (19) + 5 = 24
Damage: 2d6 + 2 ⇒ (5, 5) + 2 = 12

The pig opens its mouth and with a loud burp it releases a cone of fire at Poog, Mogmurch and Chuffy.
Fire Damage: 2d6 ⇒ (4, 3) = 7 DC13 Reflex for half damage
Ref Poog: 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (8) + 6 = 14

Round 3
Chuffy
Reta
Mogmurch
Poog (GM)
-----------
Piggy -29HP

reflex dc 13: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (6) + 7 = 13

Chuffee draws a bead on the pig again and fires.

to hit: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (17) + 7 = 24
dmg if hits: 1d3 ⇒ 2

MW Shortbow: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (9) + 8 = 17
Damage: 1d4 ⇒ 4

Haha... so only Moggy takes damage from his botched bomb, how appropriate!

Reflex Save: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (16) + 7 = 23

Mogmurch clambers back to his feet and grabs his club. "Okay you fireproof, Mogmurch see if you smashproof too!"

Taking a step forward, he swings the club with all his might...

Club: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (6) + 2 = 8

... and nearly falls on his face again.

Chuffy hurts the pig a bit more, but the bolt knocks away Reta's arrow which goes wide and hits a squirrel. Mogmurch grabs his club and smashes at the bacon on legs. He's not used to meele weapons and misses.

Poog takes out a javelin and throws it at the animal, but also this misses.
Javelin vs. Pig: 1d20 + 5 - 4 ⇒ (16) + 5 - 4 = 17

The pig's fire went out so it just burps and tries to hit Mogmurch.
Gore vs. Mogmurch: 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (14) + 7 = 21
Damage: 1d8 + 6 ⇒ (6) + 6 = 12

Round 4
Chuffy
Reta
Mogmurch
Poog (GM)
-----------
Piggy -31HP

Chuffy drops his bow and tries to maneuver into flank position while drawing his sword.

acrobatics to avoid aoo: 1d20 + 10 ⇒ (13) + 10 = 23

attack from flank: 1d20 + 8 + 2 ⇒ (16) + 8 + 2 = 26
dmg if hits: 1d4 - 1 + 2d6 ⇒ (3) - 1 + (6, 5) = 13

Chuffy moves to the pig's side and cuts it's belly open. You can see it had a lot of pumpkins today.

combat over

Mogmurch lets out a squeaky little grunt and flops to the ground as the boar bores into him. As the sky spins overhead, he's only half-aware of Chuffy gutting the pig.

Eventually managing to get up on his elbows, he studies the dead animal for a few moments, then looks up at Chuffy.

"You know the feasts what happen before we go fight? Mogmurch like that part better."

He weakly pulls out a flask and downs the contents.

Cure Light Wounds: 1d8 + 1 ⇒ (4) + 1 = 5

"Mummy sed there be more than one o' these fire pigs. Le's try to not find any more. Find this Pa Munchmeat, kill and get out."