With no one to flank with him, Mugmuff takes a step back and throws one of his last alchemist fires at the longshanks warrior.
Torch keeps his distance from the warrior, but readies an attack, should Valeros close the gap.
fire damage
Nurpus will reload, take a step, and take another potshot at Valeros.
Bart rolls back from the elf and smashes down with his new hammer.
Mugmuff and Nurpus combine ranged attacks, both managing to land hits against the brutal warrior. The man falls to his knees, his weapons dropping to the ground. As the last remnants of the earlier alchemist fire burn into his skin he collapses into the dirt and is no more. Bart, brandishing his overly large hammer, brings it to bear against the elf, the massive weapon slamming into her and breaking her collarbone, driving her solidly into the ground, where she remains motionless.
Bart pulls out his potion and pops the lid and then looks around at all the loot and the fallen goblins.
I'm going to need help to carry long-stuffs.
Bart will check Greppa for a pulse and then feed Greppa his potion.
Mugmuff has no potions left and so starts looting bodies of the anti-heroes (evil longshanks, snicker). "What a change... Mugmuff survived a fight."
Torch assists in the looting of the corpses, seeing that Bart has healies in hand.
Gretcha wakes up. "Ugh... numb-heads... letting longshanks swing pointy things at Gretcha..." She stands up woozily, and seeing Kiigaar's corpse on the ground, grimaces. "Numb-head is numb-dead. He was good gobbo. We avenge him against more longshanks."
She then pulls out a scroll of cure light wounds and attempts to cast it on Mugmuff, succeeding the second time.
And then she'll pull out the other one and use it on herself.
Then she hands Torch a potion of cure moderate wounds
Mugmuff nods to Gretcha... "Mugmuff feels better from healsies."
He stands with his his armloads of booty from the corpses, puts a few things on himself, just so he doesn't have to carry them...
Nurpus, unharmed, stays out of the way as the others are healing up. He cleans and reloads Purpus.
"Good job out there. Not blow up on me this time. You learning."
Happy wit the state of his gun, he searches for valuables.
Bart unhelpfully comments as Gretcha tries to use the scroll.
"Silly Gretcha, scroll go other way up... no not that way, other other way. There you go, no wait..."
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As the fight for the village square ends, the goblin heroes find themselves mourning, if goblins actually did mourn, over the loss of the brave (for a goblin) barbarian Kigaar. They quickly rummage through the bodies as other goblins begin to stream in from the city and gather in the square. Shortly thereafter, Ripnugget rides in on his lizard, casting a gleeful glance over the gathered troops. He quickly moves across the square to the temple, where he sets a half-dozen guards at the doors and enters.
Word soon comes from the goblin runners that the northern section of the city has fallen to goblin control, and the longshanks have been pushed south towards the inner village and the docks area. Their defenses in shambles, the humans have regrouped south of the village square, gathering their strength and possibly planning a counterattack to take back the northern areas.
The goblins strike up huge bonfires, dismantling many buildings to fuel the massive blazes. Dancing and singing rule the evening as the goblins plunder and pillage everything they can find in the area they now control. Having gained control of the town hall and garrison, the goblins begin furiously dismantling and refitting all the arms and armor they find, working to better outfit their warriors.
As the sun sets on Sandpoint, a great feast is had in the town square to celebrate the victory. Many horses and dogs are roasted to honor the fallen as well as the victorious.
Gretcha will take some of the items and find the new gobbo bartering station. [b]"Hi big-man! Gretcha need to find good stuffs for killing the longshanks. Need one of thems wands for the magicky armor. You haves? Ooh and some of thems scrolls there. Don't worry, you no have to reads them, they no steal your soul.
Torch celebrates by burning as many buildings as he can find to set alight.
Mugmuff claims a few items from the treasure taken before the trade of what's left...
potion of invisibility
amulet of natural armor +1
potion of enlarge person
potion of cure moderate wounds
tanglefoot bag
masterwork thieves' tools
He does a little shopping for items he wants with credit from items traded:
He will purchase/trade for a belt of tumbling, cap of human guise, cracked pink and green sphere ioun stone (+1 to any one cha based skill - disguise) (total 1800 gp val) if those are acceptable.
Around the corner singing loudly and drawing the attention of all who can here comes a young well dressed goblin snapping his whip to express the song
"Goblins march on dusty feet along the stones of Longshanks street.
When the fire leaves the sky and comes the time for day to die,
then the throat cries out for drink and the belly longs for meat.
Goblins march on dusty feet along the stones of Longshanks street.
A slicer gripped in bloody hands brings fear of death to Longshank's lands.
Stones* sparkle in the cold, tiny fires that won't grow old.
They light the way for goblin eyes, blood to drink and flesh to eat.
A slicer gripped in bloody hands brings fear of death to Longshank's lands.
Goblin teeth rip Longshank's neck and goblin blades slice Longshank's flesh.
The open eye* shines bright above, singing white of goblin love.
Goblins love to sing and eat; goblins love blood to drink
Goblins march on dusty feet along the stones of Longshank's street"
Nurpus gathers all of the loot into a big pile in one of the buildings, while Purpus guards the door.
"One for you, one for me, one for other you..."
The usually chaotic and loopy goblin seems calm and composed, as if the loot is somehow soothing him. Each pile is carefully balanced and divided. As the rest of the goblins dive right in, he does not argue or fight it, he simply reorganizes and divides the loot again.
"Ooh, you good organizzer, Nurp. I did organizzing before you come along. You metic... metic... you take your time. Good talent to have for boom-boom." Gretcha smiles her biggest, sexiest goblin smile at Nurpus.
Out side the well dressed goblin continues to play on his violin
"Feast until you are filled
Upon the corpses goblins killed!
Search the pockets
Humies have a little town!
We will burn it down!
Burn it down! Burn it down!
Burn it to the ground!
Kill the people!
Slay their beasts!
Take their things!
Eat their meats!"
Taking the goblins who sing and clap along in jubilation
"Steal their stuff!
Goblins never get enough!
Burn the building
Slip inside!
Where the humies
Try to hide!
Drink their blood!
Slake your thirst!
Have some mercy
Kill them first!
When the humies start to fight
Stick the goodies in a sack!
We disappear into the night
Silly humies, we'll be back!"
"Nurpus like gold. Thank you..."
As Gretcha give her "sexy" smile to Nurpus.
"Keep smile to self. Bad things from that smile. Nurpus do not want."
"OK divide loot by six. Oh. No. Five. Bart and Crazyeyes not take much, they split 6th. Fair. Very Fair."
The celebration that evening is one for the record books, if goblins actually kept record books. That would mean writing things down, and that was always bad news anyway. The homes and shops are pillaged and burned, with everything of value bring thrown into a huge pile in the center of the square. Well, everything of value that didn't get tucked away, hidden, or otherwise pilfered by the looting goblins. Kegs of beer and ale are cracked open and the amount of alcohol consumed that night is epic in scope. Soon nearly all of the goblins are drunk, and one by one they pass out.
Late the next morning, goblins are stirring and groaning, most suffering from unbelievable hangovers. More than a few wake to find their heads stuck in barrels, as the passed out while trying to lick the last remaining sips of booze from the containers. Suddenly, the double doors to the cathedral slam open, and out walks Ripnugget. Clad from head to toe in a robe that is obviously far too big for his body, he descends the steps of the building towards the square. The long white robe trails behind him like some freakishly huge wedding dress, and he nearly stumbles more than once as he makes his way down the stairs. On his head rests a high white mitre, rounded at the top and trimmed in gold. Gold necklaces and pendants hang from his neck, and he puffs out his chest repeatedly to display them.
"Wake up! Yous all must bow to the high holy Ripnugget! Mightiest of the mighty goblins! Slayer of the longshanks and pillager of Sandpoint! Burner of all!" he cries out, calling the goblins to attention. Many of them stir and stumble, feebly dropping to their knees in drunken bows and signs of reverence. "Dis day is special! Today is making me da King of Sandpoint! Worship your King!" And with that he waits, looking out over the mass of goblins tripping over each other and stumbling about, trying to be the first to worship at the feet of the new goblin king.
Bart jumps on a bowing goblin's head and bows as well, but in a better spot for his biggest bestest head to be seen.
"Ooh, good morning Rippy! Why's you no come find Gretcha last night? Gretcha had to make boom-boom with much less worthy gobbo! Gretcha come to Rippy's tent later, yes?"
Gretcha bows to Ripnugget, then gives him her shmexiest goblin smile and tries to show off what passes for cleavage to goblins
Mugmuff, not much of a drinker, but who still imbibed some the night before, wakes up and groggily totters over with the rest. He doesn't grovel, but he does bow with almost reverence and gives Ripnugget a little smile as he does so.
Nurpus mutters to himself as the "King" arrives.
"Clothes not make King. Stupid Ripnugget. Clothes not even fit right."
Nurpus scrapes together some materials from the area and pulls out his new alchemist kit.
Ripnugget stands at the front of the gathered goblin tribes, basking in the glory of his victory. All around him goblins bow and grovel, yelling praises to the goblin chief for leading them to victory. Several goblins in the immediate area talk about how the chief single handedly defeated the champions of Sandpoint, crushing the longshanks and winning the day for the goblins.
"High King Ripnugget now makes to kill da rest of da longshanks! We drives dems from da town and chases dem and kills dem all!" says the goblin, his hat, which is far too big for his big head falls forward slightly. Pushing it back into place he shouts, "Brings glory! Brings victory! Brings fire! Brings death!" He raises his spear above his head, pointing it south towards the part of town the humans had retreated to. "Kill dems all!"
"Hey Bart, that hat looks like it would fit you." Mugmuffin jests quietly. He nods at Ripnugget's new orders and gives him a little salute. To the others, he turns and says, "Well, I guess we haz a new plan... we needs be more wary... the rest of the longshanks be scared but like cornered rats... more dangerous too." He grinz... "Let's go kill some."
Bart whispers "Kill the longshanks"
"We kills dem all!!!!" Gretcha shouts, getting caught up in the excitement.
"Let's go Purpus. Time to show the longshanks what you can do now."
As the last word of Ripnugget's speech dropped off, the mass of gathered goblins began cheering, howling, screaming, and singing. The throng of green skinned beasts surged like a tide, heading south into the city, a rolling mass of bodies and weapons, all intent on causing as much pain and damage as possible. Groups began to split off, one by one, the further south they went from the square, heading down alleys and streets, climbing buildings and homes.
Running through the streets, our goblin heroes made their way into the defended city, the wild Torch setting fire to buildings as they made their way deeper into the central area of the town. Fighting rang out from all directions as goblins and defenders began to clash. Up ahead the goblins spotted a wall of furniture and wood, the humans behind the wall quickly getting into position at the sudden sight of the invaders.
Mugmuff takes a double move to cover closer to the barrier.
What kind of weapons are the humans using?
Nurpus moves up and fires at the longshank ahead of him.
Gretcha moves forward 30 feet and starts staring at the longshanks directly in front of her. She then casts murderous command on him. "Kill your friend, longshanks! He make boom-boom with your wife!"
Torch puts the nearest building to the torch, then moves forward 30 feet.
Bart moves up and takes cover behind Mugnuff.
Mugmuff runs forward, darting behind a building for cover. Bart in turn shuffles forward and darts behind a Mugmuff for cover. Nurpus fires off a shot with Purpus, but the shot bounces off of the improvised cover constructed in the street, missing the target. Torch lights up another building, basking in the glorious flame for a moment before moving closer to the barricade. Gretcha gives one of the men the stinkeye before ratting his fellow out. The man shakes his head for a moment and shouts back, "Impossible! He likes to make boom-boom with Roy over there!"
One of the men, obviously Roy, turns from the barricade and begins running down the street in the opposite direction of the goblins. At the same time three of the men, armed with bows, take aim and fire arrows at the attacking creatures. All of the shots miss however, and the men duck back down, reading for another volley. The men directly behind the barricade throw javelins into the oncoming goblins, hoping to take a few down. One of the javelins clips Gretcha on the shoulder, dealing a minor wound.
"Fine! If you no attack longshanks friend, you go to sleep!"
Gretcha moves forward once more and this time fires off a color spray at two of the longshanks, including the one she's staring at.