You face the afterlife for the second time, Blibberblab. There's no illusion of niceties from the Specter of Death this time - he's greedy for your soul, and immediately makes a miming of drawing in a chain that's wrapped around your body. You're being yanked inexorably toward him...when you feel a jostling. Groonk's face briefly flashes before your eyes, and you see Tutti too. Behind them both is Retzack. You know that crazed look in his eyes - he's casting a spell, and he's looking at you.
Whatever Retzack did, he seems to have thought that it worked. Death's grasp on you is loosened.
Another figure approaches, this one different from Death. It towers over you, tall, hooded, with tentacles curling and undulating from the darkness beneath the cowl. You feel a sensation like fingernails on the chalkboard, if the chalkboard was your very psyche. Mine, a voice fills your head. The sensation grows harder and harder to endure until it reaches a fever pitch, and with a gasp of pain, you open your eyes.
You're at 1 HP, Blibberblab. A gift from the Ruinous Powers. As you waver between being fully conscious and unconscious, you feel a command:
You are now my slave, goblin. Spread anarchy and destruction wherever you go. If more than five days passes without a worthy sacrifice made to me, I will take your life back into my domain...see you soon.
"See! I told you you were shaking him wrong! Woohoo! Meatsnacks, Meatsnacks!
With the revival of Blibberblab, you take stock and realize that despite losing many fodder goblins, the warband has largely survived! Blibberblab has an air of otherworldly evil about him now, but is alive, which is the important thing.
With the defeat of the war beetle, you all gain a level! This level is independent of your current XP, and is a reward in lieu of conventional loot (which the beetle has none of.)
Choose one of your stats and increase it by 1 (this may change your modifier). Changing your Constitution increases your maximum and current HP. Ability scores can’t go higher than 18.
Now that the thing is dead, and the bard once more lives... Talks seems to take an unnatural interest in its dead body, digging through it, and examining it, thoroughly.
Using Studied Essence to add the beetle to her collection of emerald things to become and picking out some of the most succulent bits for the arcanist...
"I feel funny guys. So many new words and stories to tell. Squid-head told me about them. Like this one."
I shake my head and take a deep breath, then look at one of the scrawny goblins hanging around me and shout at her in some bizarre tongue.
"BOT-SHALOASCT!"
Metal Hurlant
The strange word (or is it a name?) echoes unnaturally throughout the clearing and even seems to reverberate into the shadows; making them shift and twist in impossible ways. The goblin's head explodes in a cloud of black mist!
You blow up two fodder goblins instead of just one. I'm calling it the "I meant to do that," clause.
You all manage to gather your fodder goblins together into some semblance of order. Many of the fodder want to waste time going through the pockets of the slain, but you're able to get them all in line once more. The drow tower is not far off now, just beyond the next four or so foothills. You can't see far enough to see the tower entrance with all the hills blocking your view, but you're close enough to see the top fourth of it directly in front of you. However, the road forks where the beetle was hiding. There was a signpost, lying cut in half in the road. What do you do?
Talks comes up for air with some choice bits for Retzak, then immediately, instinctively, begins rooting through the pockets of the nearest goblin. "Hey cool! He had three seashells!"
She carries the meat to Retzak and holds it up to him, hands offering, and eyes bright. Will sempai notice her?
Talks felt no remorse for the destruction of the sign. It got what it deserved.
"Squid-head wants chaos! Squid-head loves chaos! Burning drow tower and driving them before us is chaos! Squid-head wants us to find drow! Squid-head will tell us which way to go!"
I grab a stick and carefully balance it in front of the fork. It stands for a second, then falls over pointing left.
"Left! Squid-head says left!"
My remaining followers all begin changing with me, "Left! Left! Left!"
Talks looks to Groonk. "Is squidhead anything like Meatsnacks?"
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Retzack becomes aware of some fodder apparently offering him...what is this, offal? Well, some of it -does smell quite good. And fresh beetle is sooo hard to come by. He takes a particularly slimy slice and down the whole thing, like a penguin swallowing a fish. Sated, he forgets that the goblin even exists and walks over to where the signpost no rests. He never did get a chance to look at it, and now seems like a good time.
Haluk touches Bliberblab before he leads his fodder off.
"The gods have seen your efforts tale teller. Receive some of their strength"
cure light wounds for health
You draw unwelcome attention or put yourself in a spot. The GM will tell you how
The signpost isn't very helpful, Retzack. You clear away some of the smaller beetles still crawling over the sign. The sign pointing to the right on the signpost reads Tinkertown and has been scratched over to the point where it can hardly be read anymore. The sign on the right reads The World Beneath and has been blackened by fire somehow.
Haluk, as you cast your spell on Blibberblab, you feel a malicious gaze boring into your neck from behind. You whirl around to face whomever is staring at you, but you see nobody but the warband. A few fodder goblins look over their shoulder when you stare in their direction, confused. The rest of the goblins have taken up Blibberblab's chant and are jostling toward the left path.
Without a Spout Lore roll, you know that Tinkertown was a Gnomish settlement not far from the mountains that was hostile to goblinkind. It was said to have been sacked by rat-men three years ago.
Talks looks to Groonk. "Is squidhead anything like Meatsnacks?"
Groonk considers the question for a moment. "Squid is meat right? And I see little difference between snacks and head, given the situation. Could be the same?"
Groonk also returns with the fodder to the remains of the giant beetle. Does it's horn remain? If so he will grab hold of it with two hands, crystals shifting as his muscles flex, and try to rip the large appendage free of the creature's head.
I spin around and run to Groonk. "Yes! Yes, you've got it! I spoke Meatsnacks' name to Death and he released me, then when he came for me again, the Squid-head took me from its grasp! Meatsnacks is Squid-head! All hail Meatsnacks! All hail Squid-head!"
I scurry over to the beetle's corpse, followed by my confused, chanting followers. I pile the mangled insect scraps and churned earth into a rough mound, about the height of two goblins. Then I drape sections of the beetle's entails on the pile, in a crude approximation of tentacles.
"Behold Meatsnacks' true form! Truly the greatest goblin! Bow to Meatsnacks!"
My followers and I begin supplicating the idol of Meatsnacks/Squid-head.
"what heresy is this? Meatsnacks may be a great and power chief but he is not a god. The true gods demand a sacrifice for this insult."
Haluk indicates for his minions to grab one of the bard's followers.
I pay no attention to the squabbling followers around me. "You may be right, Haluk, Meatsnacks may not be a god. But he is truly a superior goblin! His name brought me back from Death's gates, his fearsome tentacles pulled me from oblivion. He sends us to fight elf-things and we rescue an entire warband's worth of fodder. How did we not accomplish this without his magnificent powers? If not a god, then he must be chosen by them! Teach me, Haluk! Forgive my heresy and show me what could grant Meatsnacks such wisdom and might! Might to intimidate Death! Wisdom to foresee the umies enslaving our minions!"
First of all, Groonk, that is hilarious and awesome. After a few moments of straining and groaning, the crystals shifting around somewhat in your skin, you finally manage to break the horn free. It's twice as tall as you are, possessing the option to use it with the Reach tag or the Near tag (which is normally reserved for projectile weapons). You better believe it's rocking Forceful and Messy as well. At the tip of the horn, it narrows enough to be grasped by your large hands like a zweihander.
As for the heretical comments of Blibberblab - that's going to have to be resolved between goblins. Could this be a power struggle within the warband, deep within enemy territory?
"I have an idea! Why don't we leave sacrifices to belonging to the person whose owner-thing demands the sacrifice!" Talks said from a distance from the eldritch offal pile. "That way, you don't have to worry about offending your... owner-things."
Talks had made a brilliant decision here. She belonged to Retzak-sempai. And he didn't have anything to do with this silly gods nonsense the two were spewing. Talks knew deep in her goblin heart, that She-Who-Slumbers was the one true god. A gargantuan fiery lizard that lives at the heart of the world, and sheds all the layers of herself towards the surface.
Which perfectly explains why dinosaur bones are hundreds of miles below ground when the planet was no older than Talks was.
Either way, it prevented her from being worried about sacrifice... And left her open to one day, maybe, possibly... being vivisected by Retzak. Swoon.
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Retzack, as close to ecstatic as he can be now that his spell worked, listens to the ramblings of the risen bard.
Squidhead? Might that mean...? He gets out a notebook and does some checking. Yep. That just might. Well, -that- is gonna upset the power balance. There's no way that this can turn out well. But this could be...interesting? Or terrifying. Or both. For Blibberblab.
He puts the book away.
"The devil are you on about now?" he shouts at no one in particular. "Aren't we supposed to be heading to the World Beneath? Come on, everybody now. World Beneath! World Beneath!" While not quite as pathetic as the sound of one hand clapping, Retzack's attempt to imitate the chanting from earlier doesn't sound too awe-inspiring. Still he heads on toward the left path...almost as if he's trying to get away from something.
"one day, maybe, possibly... being vivisected by Retzak. Swoon.
I spin around, pointing at whatever minion spoke up. "That's it! We both sacrifice to our gods, Meatsnacks, Squid-head, etc. Why have the blessings of one mighty goblin when you can appease many? MINIONS! Grab that one" I shout, pointing at the fodder Haluk is trying to abduct. "Place him before the idol, so that he may see Meatsnacks' true power!"
"GGGORLL!"
Metal Hurlant
The sacrifice explodes as my followers try to pronounce the bizarre word I shout.
"See the gods power demonstrated. They strike down those who worship before the false ones. Onwards, we have elflings to sacrifice."
"Aren't drow from the underneath place? But... gnomes... civilization... must break..." Talks seemed torn on the proper way to go.
The warband wavers at the crossroads, arguing with one another. They've been noisy and brassy in the manner of goblins the entire time they've been in enemy territory, now it's rising even louder. Everyone roll +WIS.
If you roll 6-, you're caught completely off guard and take 1d8 damage from arrows that fly out of nowhere at you!
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Dispirited by the lack of progress, Retzack goes back into his horde of followers and takes out his book, continuing research into the thing that Blibblib saw, which is probably...ya, it's that guy.
Suddenly he hears the screams of 3 of his followers as arrows piecre them, taking damage that might have, possibly, at some point, sort of, been close to him. Whew!
Groonk is busy trying to balance the gigantic beetle's horn. The appendage is far from balanced, and the fact that such an awkward creature can hold the object defies physics. Then suddenly a hail of arrows slams into the goblin's right side.
Most deflect off of crystals and shards already embedded in his flesh, but one carves a shallow, bloody groove across his backside.
he yells out, then whirls to face the direction of the arrowfire.
"We are under attack, acolytes bring me sacrifices."
Last Breath
"Here I come, Squid-head, ggggggghhhhhaaa…"
Tutti, you had a partial success, that's enough to try and push Blibber out of the way of the arrows.
POWERSHOVE! Talks looks up in time to see the arrows flying out... and dives -directly- into Blibberblab, pushing him in the direction he decided to dive into. Which was good. Because if it weren't -her- diving into his chest, then it'd be the arrows diving into his chest. And he might be dedd again.
I open my eyes, expecting to see Death's gates once more. Instead, I find trees, arrows, exploded bug, and goblins. Guess that sharp pain in my back was caused by being tackled by that weird goblin dressed like a lizard.
"Quickly minions, into the trees! Stop getting shot, you cowards!"
Discretion being the better part of valor, and relieved to not be dying for once, my followers and I flee into the underbrush to regroup.
I open my eyes, expecting to see Death's gates once more. Instead, I find trees, arrows, exploded bug, and goblins. Guess that sharp pain in my back was caused by being tackled by that weird goblin dressed like a lizard.
"Quickly minions, into the trees! Stop getting shot, you cowards!"Discretion being the better part of valor, and relieved to not be dying for once, my followers and I flee into the underbrush to regroup.
Groonk does as he's told. Following order, he charges the trees, but does so in a wildly reckless manner.
Nice save Tutti! Take 1d6 damage.
Groonk leads the pack of goblins on, with the large figure of Haluk Godtongue just behind, shouting encouragement at the pack of goblins. You're surrounded by a ring of pulsing, noisome darkness, but Groonk bashes right through and into the surrounding woodlands. Following him, you are all unable to see for a few moments, before you burst through and can see once more. Groonk stands at the front, stymied by a particularly thick bramblebush that blocks forward progress for now. You look behind, and see the darkness that enclosed you congealing to two distinct globes of blackness that you cannot see into. From these two globes, come a string of curses in Elven tongue. Then the globes of black dart away, jumping from tree branch to tree branch in the direction of the rightmost path. In moments, they'll be completely gone - what do you do?
That sharp stabby pain that had initially hit the bard in his mental fugue in actuality connected with Talks in her scaly hide armor, in a much-less vulnerable location (like, not the heart). It hurt, but it just annoyed the tree-goblin.
"WAAAAGGGGHHH!" She screamed as she got to her feet and ran into the woods at her master's call. Then the darkness fled from them. "Waaagh..?" She watched for a moment, wondering what she could possibly do. Not really anything. So she watched for a moment longer.
It doesn't make a lot of sense to just go swinging at black orbs, knowing that whatever's contained within would be near impossible to hit. So instead, Groonk roars out as they retreat... a bellowing roar that shakes the ground and rattles the trees surrounding.
They should be running... they can't handle this.