Paizo Top Nav Branding
  • Hello, Guest! |
  • Sign In |
  • My Account |
  • Shopping Cart |
  • Help/FAQ
About Paizo Messageboards News Paizo Blog Help/FAQ
Pathfinder Roleplaying Game
Pathfinder Society

Pathfinder Beginner Box

Pathfinder Adventure Card Game

Pathfinder Comics

Pathfinder Legends

PaizoCon 2014!

Noobish Funny Stories


Pathfinder RPG General Discussion


So, I've been telling friends what happened the first time I've ever table top rpg-ed this past weekend, and most of them respond with blank faces... which I assume is how I looked this past weekend.

Our group is running Serpent's Shiv (I believe it is called though am not certain-- feel free to correct).

Funny/Noobish things that happened

1. My character (Ranger not accustomed to others) is about as diplomatic as a monkey flinging poo and tried talking to one of the npc's shipwrecked with our band of adventurers. He was to quote the gm "a man of oriental descent", so following a bad roll my character walked over and asked in a friendly tone "Hi Oriental man... what's your name?" at which point the npc decided he didn't like my char and refused to speak to her. The rest of the group suggested she go watch the forest, while they attempt to be diplomatic.

2. A little later the group was attacked by giant venomous centipedes, so my Ranger walked over to within range of the Centipede, it was at this point I wanted to try out one of my Ranger's other interesting traits... Intimidate... apparently the Centipede was not effected and not amused (at least not as much as the veteran players at the table)... it bit me while I stood there yelling at it.

3. I attempted to redirect some snakes which had infiltrated our camp in the middle of the second night on the island, following a few bad rolls they turned aggressive and attacked (they all missed, but due to their small size I was well within range). Earlier because "it's what Indy did" the Paladin picked up a branch set ablaze from the campfire, to scare the snakes off. While I am standing in the same tile as the snakes, at the gm's suggestion he starts whacking them. The Cleric of our party wished to help so she created rum from thin air over the serpents and doused them stating that "snakes don't like strong smells this should aid in averting them from camp". Now imagine my Character narrowly avoiding being bitten by venomous snakes, and burned by what is essentially a torch, is doused in alcohol along with the snakes, the GM said to roll, so I did... and caught on fire.

4. Luckily my group members helped put me out, and we went back to bed. However, this time we set some traps around camp, 5 total... upon waking our characters walked outside of the lean-to circle to discover-- five dead monkeys in various grotesque positions... having all somehow strangled to death in the snare's catch. The GM was amazed!

So, that is how my first time playing Pathfinder (or any rpg table top) has gone, how about you guys? Any Funny occurrences your first time?

Osirion Reaper Miniatures

Welcome to the madness! I can't remember my first time playing RPG's anymore, but I can tell you that in our group at least, those kinds of stories come up regularly! I'm glad you had fun and caught the bug!


My very first D&D game was about 27 years ago in high school. I had 0 idea what I was doing, my character had been made up by the guy who got me into D& by asking what I wanted to play and then he rolled me up and equipped me. I was a level 1 Wood Elf Fighter.

I was unceremoniously plopped into the middle of the dungeon with the rest of the party with no explanation as to how I got there or who the rest were. We were immediately attacked by 8 giant rats (which nearly killed us all) that we were barely able to defeat, I never hit a single one with my broadsword (yes I was using a broadsword in 1st edition because it was 'cool' and I did not know about the elven long sword bonus).

After that we traveled down a hallway where the thief in the party listened to the door we found, did not hear anything, unlocked the lock and we entered.

The GM then said "You enter a 10' x 10' room. In each corner is a Huge, Ancient, Red Dragon."

He was dead serious. We all died instantly as 4 - 88 point fire breath weapons hit us all. He apparently had used some random dungeon generator from the original DMG to make the dungeon.

Ah good memories. :-D


Alright, mine is still joked about to this day in our group, I made a half elf rogue, err, I think it was a rogue anyways, she was named glistening cavern in elvish, finding this out, all the other players immediately took elvish and from there on nobody would refer to her as anything except glittering clit. Be very careful what you name your characters when playing with a bunch of perverts.


First a little background- our party consists of 4 PCs and 1 DMPC from a player that had to recently drop out of the game. 2 of the players are new to Pathfinder and tabletop RPGs and 2 are old hands at it.

We are exploring this dungeon looking for a missing paladin. We entered a 50'x50' room with what turned out to be 3 green haggs. While most of us close for combat our wizard (one of the new players) stays his distance to throw spells. Now he recently aquired a new spell he has been wanting to try out...mad monkeys he called it.

The monkeys appear around two of the haggs and two of the party members (a dual rapier weilding rogue and a swordsage). On the dual weilding rogue's turn he rolls and said he missed with his primary weapon and scored a possible crit with the off hand.

DM:'You started your turn in the monkeys so they get a dissarm attempt.'

...DM rolls to beat CMD...

DM:'Looks like the monkeys dissarmed a weapon!'

...DM rolls to see which one...

DM:'Your off hand weapon is torn from your grip.'

ROGUE:' This IS NOT helping!'

WIZARD:'Sorry. New spell. Not doing quite what I thought it would.'
(sheepish grin)

-Flea

Paizo / Messageboards / Paizo Publishing / Pathfinder® / Pathfinder RPG / General Discussion / Noobish Funny Stories All Messageboards

Want to post a reply? Sign in.

©2002–2014 Paizo Inc.®. Need help? Email customer.service@paizo.com or call 425-250-0800 during our business hours: Monday–Friday, 10 AM–5 PM Pacific Time. View our privacy policy. Paizo Inc., Paizo, the Paizo golem logo, Pathfinder, the Pathfinder logo, Pathfinder Society, GameMastery, and Planet Stories are registered trademarks of Paizo Inc., and Pathfinder Roleplaying Game, Pathfinder Campaign Setting, Pathfinder Adventure Path, Pathfinder Adventure Card Game, Pathfinder Player Companion, Pathfinder Modules, Pathfinder Tales, Pathfinder Battles, Pathfinder Online, PaizoCon, RPG Superstar, The Golem's Got It, Titanic Games, the Titanic logo, and the Planet Stories planet logo are trademarks of Paizo Inc. Dungeons & Dragons, Dragon, Dungeon, and Polyhedron are registered trademarks of Wizards of the Coast, Inc., a subsidiary of Hasbro, Inc., and have been used by Paizo Inc. under license. Most product names are trademarks owned or used under license by the companies that publish those products; use of such names without mention of trademark status should not be construed as a challenge to such status.