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Thanks for the feedback Curaigh.
I was going for short and simple since I know some people (myself included) like seeing items that are affordable early on and only do one thing.
I voted for Innistrad in the survey, but I'd love to see a lot of planes.
To review this content a little more in depth:
Kor: Cut close to halflings, they make ideal monks.
Merfolk: Wish the subraces provided more variation. None of them have a physical stat option. I do like how they can swim and breathe water, but they're not lacking for abilities on the shore.
Vampires: A little puzzled by the Int/Cha combination. Most of the race is Blood Thirst, so it's strong (if the nulls are obedient and you want to have a few), but I kind of wish they gave it a few more abilities and removed the nulls.
Goblins: I think Grit is super cool. Resistance to fire and psychic makes sense for goblins (the unarmored AC won't come up too often though). I think the subraces were meant to have a +1 stat bonus, but it was omitted.
I'm pretty excited about this, as a fan of both MtG and 5e. Zendikar isn't my favorite plane, but it's nonetheless an exciting prospect. The document contains some player races shifted to match Zendikar (like elves) and some new races (vampires, merfolk, goblins, kor).
Kim Frandsen wrote:
Thanks Kim, I've put a submission in. Would've been nice if the contest had a little more detail on what was wanted. Without a template form, tried to make it as similar to DMG items. Likewise, 5e doesn't have any fluff text on items short of Legendary rarity, so I made my own conclusion about fluff text from there.
I don't know if as a rogue you want to incentivize enemies to attack you more often. Especially since you rely on your reaction for Uncanny Dodge.
I wouldn't spend my ASI on it, but it could shine sometimes.
Quick Edit: I'd (almost) always rather Sneak Attack of Opportunity than Uncanny Dodge, but I'd rather get the AoO at lower cost (or more reliably).
That's about the opposite of my response. Spells and feats are both low on my list of priorities (because they have such high opportunity costs, like Concentration or trading out ability score stuff) and spells give more power to casters (especially rituals).
On the other hand, I'm always excited to see subclasses in UA, as well as some full classes like the Mystic. The Sentinel feat brings back some of the 4e Fighter's defender power, but I also liked the Warden and Swordmage approaches.
Wings vs. Ray of Frost are disparate in power. Radiant damage is also very rare among monsters.
I'd honestly suggest using Tiefling as is, and flavor class abilities he gets as unlocking his greater devil powers.
Maybe swap out his racial spells for Dancing Lights/Burning Hands/Alter Self, per one of the setups the variant tiefling might get.
Anyone want to say "Challenge accepted"?
Suppose a 600 word limit for a Bestiary style entry of a basic member of such a race, or if you prefer, the rules to play one as a PC (though I don't think that sort of thing has ever been a round in RPGSS).
Buffs are always more reliable than debuffs, since it's no save vs. save.
There can be circumstances where the turtle technique is handy though (not enough space to polymorph into a Huge beast, martials are better off with their class, you don't want to cast on yourself and lose the ability to cast other spells).
Edit: The (non-snapping) turtle is the ideal harmless beast. I'm not sure you can even polymorph someone into an insect, but if you can and do, how are you going to keep track of them? All they have to do is break the 1 hp shell you put them in, and they revert back to their true form. Possibly right behind you.
Whoever is polymorphed gets the HP of the beast as a shell that has to be broken through before they revert form and start taking real damage.
You can turn yourself or an ally (especially when they are low on health) into a Giant Ape or T-Rex. If you transform yourself, you should have War Caster or Resilient (Con), else you might lose concentration and get knocked out of polymorphed form earlier than you would like.
This is generally more reliable than trying to turn an enemy into a turtle or somesuch. Also, IIRC, isn't it a lvl 4 spell?
That's an excellent point. One DM I played with some...7 years ago, excelled in this. I have a couple of anecdotes to share on that.
1: We interrupted this cultist leader, who hastily jumpstarts his ritual to summon some eldritch abomination. He opens a portal to this huge maw with gnashing teeth, and he calls for the cultists to fling themselves in to power the summoning to completion. Our party is frantically trying to cut down cultists as they run past us with reckless abandon, and their leader is cackling the whole time and counting down as each cultist dies. "Seven to go! Six to go! Ahahaha". We're all trying to cut down cultists, positioning ourselves to get AoOs. There's little question that they're all going to die, the question is, of what? After 1-2 rounds, my rogue realized how close the leader was standing next to his portal, and bullrushed (it was 4e so he actually used a push/slide power, but you can think of it as bullrush) him in. The DM was surprised as the BBEG was pushed into the instant-kill mouth, but rolled with it. "Three to g-aargahaha!"
2: A different cult leader. We fought through his fodder, his pets, his lieutenants. The fighter busts down the door to the leader's sanctum, and it's a brain in a jar. We expect some psionic attack, but it never comes. He's on an advanced life support system, but without anyone following him, he's completely powerless and helpless. Killing him is poses zero risk and difficulty to anyone, from the most optimized character to the least. He knows it too, he has no bargaining power. He's not going for any gambits of trying to convince us to side with him, he just tells us that he doesn't want to die. We know how dangerous he can be with minions, but half the party can't bring themselves to kill him and wait outside. The other half agrees that it's necessary to prevent him from rising up again, and draws straws to determine who will do it.
Bookrat's quote supports his point that the doctor vs. Joe Blow example is moot.
The result is not uncertain when Joe Blow attempts a complicated medical procedure, so he doesn't even get to roll dice.
Now let's say they want to bandage a small wound properly. Joe Blow should roll Medicine to see if he remembers the correct way to disinfect, but the doctor does this at least once a week at his job, there's no outcome in which he fails to do the job properly, so he doesn't have to roll. The difference in their Medicine skill bonus doesn't matter here either.
This all stems from "In cases where the outcome of an action is uncertain".
It's kind of like the background features that remove the necessity of rolling for some things. Ex. an Entertainer doesn't need to roll Perform to see if he gets to stay for free at an inn, he just has that as a base level of competence. Someone else who can play an instrument might be able to accomplish that as well, but they can't take their success for granted.
Damnit, I knew the old attempts at defining what "optimizer" means would be forgotten!
Edit: Not only is this a loaded question like OP said, it's also in the wrong forum by my reckoning. This looks more like Gamer Talk, or General Discussion.
I think that's fair if it happens too often in your games, Werecorpse. In my game though the 2-hander Barbarian/Fighter does most of the damage, but when the sword-and-board Paladin rolls a crit on the devil and gets to apply double smite dice, he feels like a total BAMF. I'm not DMing that one, but if I were, I wouldn't take it from him.
One of the things I took away from Neil's critique is to avoid possessives in an item name, as it makes it seem like a unique item rather than one that might be mass-produced by some wizard.
The items Paizo makes with possessives are generally pretty generic for that purpose, like "Alchemist's Suit".
Rip and tear, as requested:
The name "North-Thorn" sounds a lot like "Northern".
Aura info shouldn't be capitalized.
Are those en dashes? Should they be? (I have trouble with this myself, so I'm not actually sure).
The descriptive text is confusing. Maybe there's some words missing, or maybe the flight of the dart is a physical part of it, rather than describing it in action? Is the kestrel tail painted on the dart itself, or is it an after-image when thrown?
How's the pricing done for this? +1 Icy Burst is a +3 weapon, and this isn't ammunition. Plus it has a unique power that's basically Returning+. Icy Burst takes it to CL 10, no?
Why make it deal both cold damage and piercing + magical? It could be more elegant as just cold damage. I'm also not sure that you can call out magical damage like that, IIRC wording would be more like "considered magic for the purpose of overcoming damage reduction".
Typo, "cold wins".
Why can't it self-repair when used as a dart is normally meant to be used?
Bonus Personal Opinion: I advise against creating playstyle fix items. This item looks like it wants to enable thrown weapon builds (which are difficult to do, since Returning takes too long. There is the Blinkback Belt at least). As such, this feels like a patch to something the designer disagrees with. It's tempting to fix things, but it probably shouldn't be done through items.
I've got the same (or similar) quibbles as Joe regarding the Evasion. 10/day on-demand Evasion is effectively constant Evasion. Likewise robbing class features is something I'd be cautious of.
On the other hand, it is badass.
I'd think it more balanced if Evasion is a separate immediate action which costs 5 rounds. Or come up with a new ability to represent uncanny movement.
Belt of Uncanny Movement:
Perhaps more experienced designers can correct me, but I think the lack of odd stat bonus items is intentional. I'd avoid it.
Pricing is definitely weird. +2 is 2k more than a standard +2 belt of dex, but the +4 version of this item is the same 2k more expensive than a standard +4 belt of dex. It probably shouldn't be a static +2k for the ability to double the bonus for 6 rounds a day.
The speed up effect is cool (probably should add a spell to the construction requirements though, like Expeditious Retreat or Haste). I'm curious why it's for two rounds? My suggestion is to make it 8 rounds (equal to CL) a day, that can be split up as you wish.
Ultimately you have a variant of the staple Belt of Incredible Dexterity. It could be published (probably without the +1 and +3 versions though). The bonus feature is fun and powerful, but I think it needs more to stand out as its own item in RPGSS.
I've been truant in reviews.
Nick did a fantastic job, I'm just going through to add my 2c (which are getting increasingly rushed as I have to run. Feel free to contest what I'm saying).
Jeff's Headstrong Helm:
I like the crunch here. It's an item that NPCs can use to great effect (especially solo enemies, or if he's the only frontliner) since they won't risk friendly fire. PCs may experience more trouble, but they can play around it to good effect. If the item only modified the confused state it would be too fringe, but since it can turn any "mind-affecting effect that would determine your actions" (by the way, does that include charms? I would say no, they influence but do not determine your actions) it is far more likely to see play.
This could be straight up published, but might need a cool active to wow people in RPGSS. I'm also generally not a plan of regional flavor unless it's asked for
TRB's Musketeers' Blade:
Feedback I got from Neil Spicer taught me to be wary of possessive nouns in item names. This might be safer as "Blade of the Musketeers"
What kind of action is it to activate? I like that the images share teamwork feats, though I'm not sure that sounds like a sensory assault to me. You could have gone with descriptions that alluded to the tarot themes without quoting word for word, and it would read better.
Lindley's Iron Lens:
From the name, I can't tell what this item is going to do, and my guess for slot (Eyes) is inaccurate.
This item has an old-school feel. My philosophy for random effects (which I'm a fan of) is to have them all be positive but in different ways. Darkness when you need Daylight will make matters far worse, and vice-versa. A basic example of positive but different might be something like Prismatic Spray.
It's a visibility issue.
RPGSS gets a big button link when it's running.
Speculation (based on my patterns): Designer wannabes hang out in the Homebrew forum. I've transitioned to the Blazing 9 thread, but previously I was unaware of it, and I'm guessing most people in Homebrew are unaware of it. If Homebrew was a place you could advertise open calls, you'd see more participants.