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gran. no. bad.

Me? You're the one with no pants on!

Oh right... just so used to it being you I guess...

Do you often think of me with no pants on?

Hmm...that can be read two ways:
A) Do you think of me while you have no pants on?
B) Do you picture me not having pants on when you think about me?

Which is it, huh?

... Shouldn't you be folding laundry?

I'm taking a short break to rest my leg. Now answer the question.

All I want is some pants a DECENT pair of pants!

Put on the pants, and you might be decent.

*sees Vid sans pants*

*shivers with antici-*
A Gelatinous Cube wrote:

*sees Vid sans pants*

*shivers with antici-*

vic?

What do you have against civilians?

They don't taste as good. Need some former army guys who've been exposed to pepper spray and mustard gas. Them's good eatin', those seasoned veterans.

That's uh pretty messed up.

So are some of the veterans.

Ouch your going to the abyss for that one.

I just feel like I need to jump in here and say something, but I'm not sure what.
gran rey de los disclaimer wrote:
I just feel like I need to jump in here and say something, but I'm not sure what.

Yeah.. probably definitely something...

Sovereign Court

Yes, all of you need to come to my psychiatric office. Clearly, you all need severe mental help.

gran, vid, I need some jokes!

I'm joining an Extinction Curse game. My character's performance trick is a mind-reading act in the center ring of the circus. To warm up the audience, I'm going to 'spot' Captain Grog, an exiled orc fighter who is the circus security manager, and ask him to join me in the center ring.

I need a punch line for when I put my hand on his forehead and 'read' his mind. What's the joke? (Heck, what's the patter leading up to the joke, for that matter).

Well, the obvious joke is "I see...nothing. Your mind is an endless void. NO! WAIT!! I SEE SOMETHING!!! It's...it's...IT'S...*fart noise*"

Or you could go for something like this:
"Think of a number, any number from 1 to 1,000,000. Now half it. Add 8. Double it. Subtract your age. Close your eyes...Dark isn't it?"
Sovereign Court

If I could offer my thoughts, you could try the old grab their head firmly and say "you're thinking I'm squeezing your head to tightly". But that's just my thoughts on the matter. Hope it helps. :-)
Jurassic Bard wrote:
If I could offer my thoughts, you could try the old grab their head firmly and say "you're thinking I'm squeezing your head to tightly". But that's just my thoughts on the matter. Hope it helps. :-)

Or... *grabs head* "You're thinking: 'God, I hope my extremely contagious scalp fungus has cleared up.'"

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I got the Mandalorian shot! Yay I am ready to start collecting my beskar!
(ok yes I know its moderna you let me have my fun! )
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CrystalSeas wrote:

gran, vid, I need some jokes!

I'm joining an Extinction Curse game. My character's performance trick is a mind-reading act in the center ring of the circus. To warm up the audience, I'm going to 'spot' Captain Grog, an exiled orc fighter who is the circus security manager, and ask him to join me in the center ring.

I need a punch line for when I put my hand on his forehead and 'read' his mind. What's the joke? (Heck, what's the patter leading up to the joke, for that matter).

Some call me a medium but I'm actually a large.

2nd joke
Mind reading
I'm actually a skilled mind-reader.

I know what you're thinking. . .

You don't believe me.

Oh my we are slammed tonight I've gotten a phone call or walk in every 2 minutes. People got that stimulus and it just burnt a hole through their pocket I guess.

I used my stimulus immediately. Of course, I used it to buy stock, so it I didn't exactly waste it. Hopefully.

My brother has been messing around with that. He did pretty good on the game stop stuff.

Not making a reservation on a busy night is a hard lesson. I hope they only make that mistake once. (upwards of 60 people between walkins and calls.)

They won't learn. They never do.

Yay another night like last night.

I'm actually out of clean rooms, myself. Apparently, several of the housekeepers next door just didn't show up for work today, so they took 2 of our 3 housekeepers. And then the reservations just kept coming in. And tomorrows gonna be fun, too. We have 17 arrivals. For a Sunday. Lately, Sundays have been more like 6 or 7, with maybe 1 or 2 walk-ins. But 17 for tomorrow. And 14 of those are for like 3 weeks. Oh, and none of those arrivals were in our system before Friday. Because that's when the group sales person finally decided to put them in.

Yeah we have a lot of house keepers quitting lately. We have been super short handed. Were back business wise to before the pandemic but we don't even have half the employees. quite awful glad I'm quitting soon.

I don't know if they quit, or just didn't show up, or what. That's all 2nd shift told me, and he probably heard that from 1st shift, who may or may not have known the whole story.

Ah yes the grapevine of night shift.
gran rey de los mono wrote:

Do you often think of me with no pants on?

Hmm...that can be read two ways:
A) Do you think of me while you have no pants on?
B) Do you picture me not having pants on when you think about me?

Which is it, huh?

I'm still waiting for the answer to this question, Vid. You didn't think that I'd forgotten, did you?

I'm pretty sure I answered that but here it is again The answer is [redacted].

Now that we got that out of the way. tonight at work has been soo much quieter. it is nice.

We're a lot busier than we've been for a while. Especially for a Sunday. Had 14 guests check in today for 3 weeks. But, it's been fairly quiet. Quite busy for the first hour with people buying stuff from the market, but pretty slow otherwise.

I hate being right off the highway. always busy because of that.

We're a little lucky in that, while we are pretty much right off the highway, you have to pass several other hotels to get to us. So, most people who are just looking for a room and don't care about the brand will stop before reaching me.

Yeah we are the first place off the highway it's amazing to me how many people come in trying to get a hotel for 60 bucks. You need to keep looking you are at the wrong hotel....

Yeah. And some of them want to haggle with you, which I don't do. Tends to piss them off, but I don't care because they leave. I think the worst haggling method I've seen (or at least, the one that annoyed me the most) was the guy who, when I quoted the rate, started "dancing" around, clapping his hands, and repeating the rate in an incredulous tone of voice. For like two minutes. Then he said "No. No, no, no, no, no. You gots ta do me some justice on that rate". I just stared him dead in the eyes and said "Justice? There's no such thing in America." He looked at me confused for a minute or so, and said "Okay. But seriously, how about $XX?" I just shook my head and said "No. I can't do that."

He also tried the whole "I'm leaving. Look at me, I'm halfway out the door. Gonna give me a better rate?" a few times. But every time I just said "Sorry, the rate is the rate" until he eventually gave up and went somewhere else. All told, all he managed to do was waste about 10 minutes of both of our time.

My favorite guy trying to haggle spent 15 minutes trying to talk me down left. Then came back 5 minutes later saying yeah I'll take the room at that rate.

You can't win at haggling if the other person doesn't care if you buy or not.

Last time someone did that with me, when he came back I told him that I had sold the room to someone else, and had nothing left.
gran rey de los mono wrote:
Last time someone did that with me, when he came back I told him that I had sold the room to someone else, and had nothing left.

heh going for a teaching experience eh? I usually save that for if they look like they are going to cause me trouble if they stay with us.

Not so much a teaching experience (although if they learn it's a bonus) as a "I'm done with you, go away" vibe.

How long you been doing night shift or gran. I think I am about to actually lose my mind. It took 5 years to get me to this point.

Oof. Good question. I did about 6 months from late '04 to early '05. Another 13 months or so from late '05 to the end of '06. And then from mid '07 until now. I think.

I am ready to be a day time creature again.

Coward.

ONE OF US! ONE OF US!!

I wouldn't mind being on a more normal schedule, but as long as I'm working at a hotel, it's gonna be night shift.
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