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Mmm... forbidden donut...
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Fantasy Monster: Firebrand Devil
"Would you fight the tyrants and oppressors? Come! Join the ranks of revolutionaries, citizen, you will be welcome!"
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Ooo! This would be a great addition to the Hell's Rebels campaign as an agent provocateur!
Fantasy Monster: Firebrand Devil
"Would you fight the tyrants and oppressors? Come! Join the ranks of revolutionaries, citizen, you will be welcome!"
sunday! Sunday! SUNDAY!!
I look forward to seeing your creations every Sunday. I place each critter in a folder dedicated solely to them on my PC and plan to use your monsters exclusively in the upcoming one-shot I'm working on.
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I think that by now I have created enough devils—as monsters and NPCs—to staff a French-revolution style adventure or two...
Off with the heads of tyrants!
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*cackle*
So the players have been making a lot of tactical use of dimensional door, the arcanist's dimensional slide, and the Travel domain cleric's dimensional hop. An annoyingly effective amount of use.
But tonight, if all goes well, they'll end up in a valley entirely protected by a dimensional lock. I'm so looking forward to the expressions on their faces the first time they smugly declare they're getting out of trouble by teleporting a short distance away...
*cackle*
It's the little things, you know?
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"Sic semper tyrannis!"
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Well, they've gotten smarter. Everyone actually READ the research results handout, noticed the bit about a dimensional lock, and thought to ask if that would apply to their class abilities.
*sniff sniff*
It's like... you traumatize and you traumatize and you think they'll never learn to pay close attention to the information you give them and then finally they do...
*singing*
Sunrise... sunset... sunrise... sunset...
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It's the little things, you know?
It truly is. Long, long ago in my earliest days as a fledgling DM in AD&D1e, I gave a player a magic item that let him teleport to the Astral Plane and back at will (yeah, yeah. I know). I didn't tell him it only had three charges....
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*cackle*
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HA!
Love a good long con.
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I didn't tell him it only had three charges....
I legitimately laughed out loud. I love that!
I didn't tell him it only had three charges....I legitimately laughed out loud. I love that!
HE didn't LOL. I only had two players at that time, he and another friend. Both playing Paladins. We didn't know what "metagaming" was back then, but he begged and begged the other player to use the Wish he'd been saving to bring him back to the Prime Material plane.
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Happy American Independence Day, for those who celebrate. And for those of you who don't, I'm coming for your tea (regardless of your country of origin). Harumph and good day.
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Do you promise not to either put it in a little bag with a dangler on and dabble it in some tepid water, or seep it for hours in enough sugar solution to rot through concrete?
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Do you promise not to either put it in a little bag with a dangler on and dabble it in some tepid water, or seep it for hours in enough sugar solution to rot through concrete?
I make no such promises.
Pray that I do not make you take some of the colonies back. And not the good ones that everybody wants...
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I saw Whitesnake in concert on July 4th back in 1987. After the first song David Coverdale said, "Happy Independence Day, you treasonous bastards!"
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The forum rules (wisely) discourage us from discussing political topics but let's just say I did not spend time celebrating today.
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Do you promise not to either put it in a little bag with a dangler on and dabble it in some tepid water, or seep it for hours in enough sugar solution to rot through concrete?I make no such promises.
Pray that I do not make you take some of the colonies back. And not the good ones that everybody wants...
Florida used to be Spanish, I believe.
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Florida used to be Spanish, I believe.Do you promise not to either put it in a little bag with a dangler on and dabble it in some tepid water, or seep it for hours in enough sugar solution to rot through concrete?I make no such promises.
Pray that I do not make you take some of the colonies back. And not the good ones that everybody wants...
The blame for New Jersey on the other hand, is squarely in your corner.
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Fantasy Monster: Scintillating Bubbles.
Don't confuse those for giant soap bubbles, it won't end well.
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Fantasy Monster: Scintillating Bubbles.
Don't confuse those for giant soap bubbles, it won't end well.
*picks up a pin* C'mon...what's the harm in popping just one?
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Ah, well, I hope you are not feeling particularly attached to that hand.
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I got a little testy earlier in the week on a text thread with my players. [pet peeve]The metagamey magic economy[/pet peeve]. They were asking if they could get a +3 weapon at the market.
ME: No. You don't buy Excalibur at the Piggly Wiggly, dammit.
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I got a little testy earlier in the week on a text thread with my players. [pet peeve]The metagamey magic economy[/pet peeve]. They were asking if they could get a +3 weapon at the market.
ME: No. You don't buy Excalibur at the Piggly Wiggly, dammit.
I make it clear to new players that no shops sell magic items above barely useful, overpriced trinkets anywhere in Cal World.
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I got a little testy earlier in the week on a text thread with my players. [pet peeve]The metagamey magic economy[/pet peeve]. They were asking if they could get a +3 weapon at the market.
ME: No. You don't buy Excalibur at the Piggly Wiggly, dammit.
The gas station or vape shop might have it on the wall, though, besides a blue katana adorned with nekkid demons with cubic zircona nipples.
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If magic exists in any significant amount (which it does in default D&D) it's going to be commodified and subject to economics.
I don't agree. Witness thousands of years of magical stories where no one buys anything. The current prevailing trope of "of course there are magic shops, anything that can be bought and sold will be" is an artifact of capitalist culture (NOTE: I'm not getting into a political thing--this is just a strictly anthropological/sociological observation).
Also, if I'm remembering correctly, there weren't prices on magic items in D&D 5e. I only played a few times, so I could be wrong, but I recall it as one of the few things I liked about the system.
I think there's a difference between how much magic the characters experience and how much magic is in the world. As far as the players' experience of a fantasy world goes, yes, it seems like there is abundant magic. However, player characters are supposed to be extraordinary. For instance, the five adventuring hobbits in LotR experience a high-magic world whereas the standard Shireling experiences... fireworks.
The follow-up I offered to the player after my snarky Piggly Wiggly comment was:
"Finding a holy weapon for sale presupposes the following scenario: A 9th level cleric of a Good deity spends over three weeks, plus any necessary masterwork forging time, creating a weapon and imbuing it with the will of their god to enable the wielder to strike down evil in the world. They then go down to the market and unload it to whatever disreputable looking transient mercenary that has the gold to afford it."
For me its more about immersion, story-telling, and making not only the player characters & adversaries special, but not devaluing their powers. (When I played in Forgotten Realms, we had a running joke every time things looked remotely challenging: "Aw f*&* it. Let Elminster deal with it.")
*deep rant breath* If there were a cleric powerful enough to create a holy weapon, why is that cleric sitting around selling weapons for a living instead of dealing with the crisis of evil facing the region? Narrative economy is different than real-world economy.
Moreover, if items are just equivalent to chunks of gold, they lose their narrative value. Instead of being The One Ring, it becomes a way for the party to get phat lootz by selling it in Bree.
*deep post-rant exhale*
Anyhoo, that's just how I like to play. Others feel differently.
I actually agree with quibblemuch, and Cal. Except that I find it somewhat less fun as a player to when I’m shorted on magic items.
My especial favorite experience was in pbp when the GM would bring in replacement characters who got to build characters with proper wbl, while my character was well below the expected wbl. The power difference was noticeable.
But, yeah, the magic shoppe feels just wrong, most of the time.
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If there were a cleric powerful enough to create a holy weapon, why is that cleric sitting around selling weapons for a living instead of dealing with the crisis of evil facing the region?
The cleric didn't sell the holy sword to a merchant! He bequeathed it to a holy warrior to go take care of the crisis of evil. Unfortunately, the hold warrior beset upon by giant faerie constrictor snake or whatever, and the holy sword was discovered years later by a better prepared group that defeated the faerie constrictor snake. They didn't need the sword, so they sold it to a merchant at the next major city they travelled through to pay for magical cocaine. That's probably how it happened.
*********
Equipment/magic item shopping is my least favorite part of DnD/Pathfinder, so if I'm playing in a game where we don't have to worry about that, that's great. On the other hand, if I'm in a position where the GM isn't managing our magic items sufficiently, that sucks too.
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"Once upon a time, there was a warrior whose sword crumpled and, consequently, he lost the fight. As he lay, leaning against a tree, his lap full of intestines, holding the twisted, useless lump of bronze that used to be his sword, he thought to himself “gee... if I’d had a magical sword, I could’ve beaten that guy...” And that was the first fellow to think up the idea of an enchanted weapon. Unfortunately, the idea died with him... and with the next warrior in that position, and the next...
Eventually, someone in this position had an amazing recovery and went to a mage saying, “hey, can you make me a magic sword?” To which the mage said “why?” and the warrior told him. “OK, give my your sword,” and the warrior did, and the mage waved his arms up and down and said “mumbus–pokery–hocus–etcetera. OK, now your sword is extremely magical. I guarantee you won’t get killed while you use it. That’ll be 1,000d. Now go away and let me get back to work.” And that is where we got the idea of enchanted weapons." -- N. Robin Crossby, Harnmaster Gold Player Edition, version 2.1, 2009
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...Unfortunately, the hold warrior beset upon by giant faerie constrictor snake or whatever, and the holy sword was discovered years later by a better prepared group that defeated the faerie constrictor snake. They didn't...
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All this talk about GMs not giving players enough magic items reminds me of an old campaign I ran back before the Flood...
*lengthy grognard throat clearing*
The setting was along a fantasy analog of the Great Wall of China. The PCs were members of an impoverished barbarian tribe who lived outside the wall. As a result, there was not a lot of wealth to be had, especially in the early days of the campaign. By level 4, they had done the unthinkable and made it to the Imperial side of the wall... and after the first encounter...
ME: Searching the bodies, you find their leader is wearing a masterwork breastplate.
FIVE PLAYERS (completely non-sarcastically): Oooooo! Sweet!
It's one of my fondest gaming memories. Getting an entire table of power-hungry greedy murderhobos to the point where they were genuinely excited at 4th level to have found their first masterwork piece of armor.
NOTE: Obviously, this only worked because I designed all the encounters carefully so that they didn't NEED magic items or high wealth. The point of the story is not "ha ha, I deprived players of things because I am all-powerful" it's "see, you can tell a compelling story that will get investment even with the barest minimum of material goods."
This was in the days before ubiquitous camera phones, so I wasn't able to record their reaction, but trust me, it was a satisfying "Ooooo!" from one and all.
Fantasy Monster: Crushing Sphere
An enormous self-moving orb of obsidian crushing everything in its way.
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Fantasy Monster: Crushing Sphere
An enormous self-moving orb of obsidian crushing everything in its way.
OMG I want one of these for the grocery store lines...
OMG I want one of these for the grocery store lines...Fantasy Monster: Crushing Sphere
An enormous self-moving orb of obsidian crushing everything in its way.
I don't how it is in your areas, but here the aisles are maybe 10 feet apart so it would not only crush the queue but the shelves around as well.
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How appropriate. I awoke today to a huge liquid mess (not pee) on my carpet from my old, ailing dog AFTER I rented a carpet steamer and returned it. It's worse than ever. Then I went to wash some laundry. My (not temporary enough) roomie had used up all of the laundry detergent and was gone to play Mutants and Masterminds for the day. Now I have a tension headache, am furious at myself for oversleeping and making Buster hold it until he could no longer and my YouTube feed is filled with A.I. heavy metal that I'm ashamed to say I'm really digging.
This huge obsidian ball has been sitting and spinning on me all morning.
THANKS, DREJK!!!
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I don't how it is in your areas, but here the aisles are maybe 10 feet apart so it would not only crush the queue but the shelves around as well.OMG I want one of these for the grocery store lines...Fantasy Monster: Crushing Sphere
An enormous self-moving orb of obsidian crushing everything in its way.
Worth it. Sacrifices must be made.
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How appropriate. I awoke today to a huge liquid mess (not pee) on my carpet from my old, ailing dog AFTER I rented a carpet steamer and returned it. It's worse than ever. Then I went to wash some laundry. My (not temporary enough) roomie had used up all of the laundry detergent and was gone to play Mutants and Masterminds for the day. Now I have a tension headache, am furious at myself for oversleeping and making Buster hold it until he could no longer and my YouTube feed is filled with A.I. heavy metal that I'm ashamed to say I'm really digging.
This huge obsidian ball has been sitting and spinning on me all morning.
THANKS, DREJK!!!
Sorry to hear about the s%++-show, Cal. Stay strong and crank the metal!
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Regarding s@~~-shows...
1. Occasionally I do these Spartan races. They're off-road obstacle courses over distance, nearly always involving a lot of mud (one of the regular obstacles is a series of mud pits filled waist-to-chest deep with water).
2. After decades of gaming and encountering devilish contracts, I always read every word of anything I sign.
3. The release form for the typical Spartan race has a looooong list of hazards runners might be exposed to, including the delightful phrase "fecal slurry."
All of this has led me to use the phrase "fecal slurry" to describe a number of life situations. It's somehow fancier than "s@@@-show".
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I am going to use "fecal slurry" from now on.
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That phrase is only fancier if you aren't used to farm life.
So true. So, so true.
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This just in from Crowdstrike headquarters...
I snort-laughed at that.
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My work here is done.