Grrrr.
I spent all afternoon yesterday making pierogi. I took them out of the garage fridge to saute them for dinner only to discover that Val had demolished a full third of them.
That’s a paddlin.
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"Why should I pay for that? Let the bears pay the bear tax. I pay the Homer tax."
Oh, you better believe that's a paddlin.
Ohhh... like the Ayn Rand School for Tots!
BOOOOOOOOOO Are you saying BOOOO or BOOOO-urns?
It's a perfectly cromulent name.
"Sheltering myself with a large piece of sheet metal, I ran for cover under the tallest tree I could find..."
Whenever I'm confused, I just check my underwear. It holds the answer to all the important questions.
What this town needs is a monorail. ♫Well, sir, there's nothing on earth
Just gonna point out that everyone perfectly understood what I meant by it. It's a perfectly cromulent word.
I’ll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missourah!
Am I so out of touch? No. It's the children who are wrong.
"Talking out of turn? That's a paddlin'. Lookin' out the window? That's a paddlin'. Staring at my sandals? That's a paddlin'. Paddlin' the school canoe? Oh, you better believe that's a paddlin'."
Gasp! The plot thickens...Good gravy! For years doctors have been telling us to drink eight glasses of gravy a day!
And now to play the waiting game... ... ... Aw, the waiting game sucks. Let's play Hungry Hungry Hippos!
The two sweetest words in the English language: de fault! De! De! Fault! De! Fault!
"We all know these children HAVE no future!" *stunned cafeteria silence* "Prove me wrong, children. Prove me wrong."
There's nothing "mad" about it whatsoever. It's dealing with the reality of dumb parents and teen hormones. This is why we need a state-of-the-art detention hall, where the children are held in place with magnets.
Except for music. That's objectively worse.Never enough cowbell, is there? Why do you need new bands? Everyone knows rock attained perfection in 1974. It's a scientific fact.
Mmmm… expired ham…
I have apparently hit on true horror for Halloween: forcing sophomore boys to watch a musical. I enjoy all the meats of our cultural stew! Dooo dooo dooodee doooo dooo dooo...
I have apparently hit on true horror for Halloween: forcing sophomore boys to watch a musical. ♫I hate every ape I see from chimpan-A to chimpan-Zno you'll never make a monkey out of me! Oh my god, I was wrong
Yeah, listening to a screaming toddler every single morning starting at 6:00 am weekdays and 6:30 am weekends (he's inside before that, but I know he starts his screams at 4:30 am because I'm up then), and the fact that they take him outside every single morning to let him scream it out, NOW I understand why they had so many noise complaints against them...
Hey! I’m watching you…
“Are they booing me?”
Florida sheriff's office warns against taking selfies with 'depressed' bear... he looks hot **heads into the woods with milkshakes a bag of ice and inflatable pool.**
“Hordes of panicky people seem to be evacuating the town... for some unknown reason. Professor, without knowing precisely what the danger is, would you say it's time for our viewers to crack each other's heads open and feast on the goo inside?”
"Professor, would you say people should start panicking?"
Bilgby? Is that an original creation like Sherrie Bobbins, Rickey Rouse, and Monald Muck?
Mmm... forbidden donut...
Och! Call it the Shinning! Di ye wanna get sued?!
Thanks! I knew I'd posted it at least once and I do have a bad habit of telling stories over and over. But Quibs hadn't heard it! LOL Reminds me of the time I caught the ferry to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe. So I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Gimme five bees for a quarter," you'd say. Now where were we? Oh, yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have any white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...
FAT TONY: Mob? What is that? I certainly know of no such thing around this establishment of legitimate businessmen.
Have the Rolling Stones killed. DO AS I SAY!
It's a little like this.
And I for one welcome our new Robot Overlords and I'd like to point out to them that as a trusted forum alias, I can be useful in rounding up others to toil in their underground bitcoin mines.
Your ideas are intriguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter…
Hey! I'm watching you...
That's a paddlin.
Hey! I’m watching you!
I'll take up smoking and then give that up!
I once walked into my apartment to an unholy smell and walked into the kitchen where a friend (who had picked the lock to come do his laundry for free - which is a whole other story) was boiling instant Ramen noodles in beer on my stove. I made him eat every damned bit of that and drink the sauce, too, for funking up my house so badly. Cooking ramen beer on someone else's stove? You better believe that's a paddlin.
Gamifying training? That's a paddlin.
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