90s Simpsons Referotron's page

♫Most folk'll never lose a toe
But then again, some folk'll
Like Cletus, the slack-jawed yokel!♫

Ugh. Teacher in-service day.

Don't wanna.

Oh come on! We both know these children have no future!

I was hoping that you were just on suuuuper slow internet and it took a month to post.

Slow! They called you slow!

Are you saying "Boo" or "Boo-urns"?

Shut up, brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-tip!

Is it you? Is it me?

No. It's the children who are wrong.

In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.

As melon-scratchers go, that's a honeydoodle.

Mmmm... forbidden donut...

Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter...

So now he's in another country making a living as a teamster.

Oh, I always wanted to be a Teamster. So lazy and surly...

I figure at my current rate I will have had nearly all diseases known by science by the end of the year.

You’ll be indestructible…

That sounds suspiciously like rock and/or roll...

Or dogs. Or dogs with bees in their mouths so when they bark they shoot bees at you.

Oh no, Smithers, the Germans are mad at me!

Like the Feast of Maximum Occupancy...

Hey! I'm watching you...

And dogs. And dogs with bees in their mouths so when they bark at you they shoot bees.

Was there a boogeyman or boogeymen inside the house?

Grrrr.

I spent all afternoon yesterday making pierogi. I took them out of the garage fridge to saute them for dinner only to discover that Val had demolished a full third of them.

That’s a paddlin.

"Why should I pay for that? Let the bears pay the bear tax. I pay the Homer tax."
"That's home-owner tax, Dad."

Freehold DM wrote:

I have staff who grew up with smartphone not computers and their frustration is evident when the computer decides it doesn't like them.

I had to get some medical records and the person I was talking to said it couldn't be done without a cell phone to read the URL code. Or you could fax or snail mail

"You could just tell me the website address..."

Like a desktop was a thing they weren't sitting in front of....

Oh, you better believe that's a paddlin.

I have misplaced my pants.

I'm indestructible...

Ohhh... like the Ayn Rand School for Tots!

BOOOOOOOOOO

Are you saying BOOOO or BOOOO-urns?

It's a perfectly cromulent name.

"Sheltering myself with a large piece of sheet metal, I ran for cover under the tallest tree I could find..."

Whenever I'm confused, I just check my underwear. It holds the answer to all the important questions.

What this town needs is a monorail.

♫Well, sir, there's nothing on earth
Like a genuine, bona fide
Electrified, six-car monorail!
What'd I say?♫

Lamiabrarian wrote:

The best part of this conversation is how nobody blinked at "Britaining" as a verb.

Ah, English.

Just gonna point out that everyone perfectly understood what I meant by it.

It's a perfectly cromulent word.

I’ll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missourah!

Am I so out of touch?

No. It's the children who are wrong.

"Talking out of turn? That's a paddlin'. Lookin' out the window? That's a paddlin'. Staring at my sandals? That's a paddlin'. Paddlin' the school canoe? Oh, you better believe that's a paddlin'."

quibblemuch wrote:

Gasp! The plot thickens...

Good gravy!

For years doctors have been telling us to drink eight glasses of gravy a day!

And now to play the waiting game...

...

...

Aw, the waiting game sucks. Let's play Hungry Hungry Hippos!

NobodysHome wrote:

I know Vany will feel this across the void:

Far Too Many Admins

Erm...they want to make the default user an admin?

The two sweetest words in the English language: de fault! De! De! Fault! De! Fault!

"We all know these children HAVE no future!"

*stunned cafeteria silence*

"Prove me wrong, children. Prove me wrong."

There's nothing "mad" about it whatsoever. It's dealing with the reality of dumb parents and teen hormones.

This is why we need a state-of-the-art detention hall, where the children are held in place with magnets.

Old Man George wrote:

Except for music. That's objectively worse.

Never enough cowbell, is there?

Why do you need new bands? Everyone knows rock attained perfection in 1974. It's a scientific fact.

Have ye got any grease?

Woohoo! Cheap meat!

Mmmm… expired ham…

90s Simpsons Referotron wrote:

Scintillae wrote:

I have apparently hit on true horror for Halloween: forcing sophomore boys to watch a musical.

♫I hate every ape I see

from chimpan-A to chimpan-Z
no you'll never make a monkey out of me!

Oh my god, I was wrong
it was Earth all along!
Yes you've finally made a monkey out of me!♫

(...must...favorite...multiple...times...)

I enjoy all the meats of our cultural stew!

Dooo dooo dooodee doooo dooo dooo...

I have apparently hit on true horror for Halloween: forcing sophomore boys to watch a musical.

♫I hate every ape I see

Oh my god, I was wrong
it was Earth all along!
Yes you've finally made a monkey out of me!♫

Yeah, listening to a screaming toddler every single morning starting at 6:00 am weekdays and 6:30 am weekends (he's inside before that, but I know he starts his screams at 4:30 am because I'm up then), and the fact that they take him outside every single morning to let him scream it out, NOW I understand why they had so many noise complaints against them...

Say, how 'bout a little NyQuil?

*presses button*

Hey! I’m watching you…

“Are they booing me?”
“Uh, no. They’re saying BOO-urns, Boo-urns.”
“Are you saying boo or Boo-urns?”
“BOOOO!”

Aberzombie wrote:

Florida sheriff's office warns against taking selfies with 'depressed' bear

... he looks hot **heads into the woods with milkshakes a bag of ice and inflatable pool.**

Sigh.