Battle of the Shapeshifters (the Game)

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

I shapeshift into the Toho film company and make better giant monster movies, more, for longer, all on a minute fraction of the budget of any Michael Bay movie.

[GoatToucher]

I shapeshift into all the money Michael Bay movies make, despite their huge budgets and poor quality.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

I shapeshift into The Joker. It's not about the money...it's about sending a message.

[Khāṇa Tsogtsos]

I shapeshift into a poker tournament - no jokers allowed!

[high G]

I shapeshift into a Netflix comedy special and say jokes out loud.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

I shapeshift into an Amazon TV comedy special and line up a bunch of hacks who seem to literally not know what a joke is.

[Aku, the shape shifting master]

I shape shift into Roseanne Bar joining the show.

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

I shapeshift into an angry fan of the show. And immediately write a letter stating that Barr be removed.

[avr]

I shapeshift into a political appointee and mess with the Post Office; a certain letter is never delivered in the confusion.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

I shapeshift into a Mythic Half-Fiend zebra mussel and maybe, just MAYBE, prove myself more difficult to dislodge than the apparatchik.

[avr]

I shapeshift into an army of PF1 goblins and convert the mussels into pickles, paving the way for PF2 goblins to be considered valuable members of society.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

I shapeshift into Lotslegs-Eat-Goblin-Babies-Many. You maybe should run.

[Sunomono Slaad]

I shapeshift into a 2nd-level adventurer. Lotslegs-Eat-Goblin-Babies-Many maybe should run.

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

I shapeshift into a CR 30 monster of Colossal size. Far too powerful for a 2nd level adventurer to handle.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

I shapeshift into a pocket demiplane...that is merely Gargantuan-sized.

[Laser Clown of the 34th Century]

I shapeshift into Dr. Beverly Crusher and singlehandedly escape the (rapidly-collapsing) pocket-demiplane. If there's nothing wrong with ME...there's something wrong with the UNIVERSE!

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

I shapeshift into a real crusher!

The rest explains itself.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

After waking up from unsettling dreams, I shapeshift into a cockroach; the crusher breaks before I do.

[Dedrick, The Professor]

I shapeshift into an empty room and a boot.

With nowhere to hide, the cockroach is DOOMED!

[GoatToucher]

I shapeshift into plastic totes filled with fourteen year old art projects my 20 year old made in kindergarten.

[high G]

I shapeshift into the clay ashtray at the bottom of one of the plastic totes. The ashtray is shaped like a boot and lying inside of it is the dried husk of a many years dead cockroach.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

I shapeshift into C. Everett Koop. NO SMOKES (and hence, no ashtrays) FOR YOU!

[Dedrick, The Professor]

I shapeshift into a massive, underground volcano!

No smokes? How about some LAVA!

[Jezebel Gemblade]

I shapeshift into a nubile Polynesian virgin and placate the volcano wait, what the hell have I just done...?!?!

[Dedrick, The Professor]

In response to the Polynesian, I shapeshift into a Volcano God!

And so, I shall take this generous offering!

[GoatToucher]

I shapeshift into a new geologic age, causing the volcano (and its god) to become dormant.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

I shapeshift into a petroleum-drilling company, and unmake eons of geology in a matter of months.

[Dedrick, The Professor]

I shapeshift into a lit match and fall into the petroleum.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

I shapeshift into a typical crummy matchbox and break more matches than I manage to light.

[GoatToucher]

I shapeshift into Smokey the Bear, notice you trying to light matches in the woods, and beat you with a shovel until you soil yourself.

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

I shapeshift into a hunter who never misses a shot.

"Argh, a talking bear!" *Fires shotgun.*

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

I shapeshift into the scientifically-demonstrated Funniest Joke In The World.

[Dr. Albert W. Wily]

I shapeshift into a skeptical scientist with no sense of humour!

Hold on... that's just me every day!

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

I shapeshift into xkcd webcomic - either the scientist laughs, or he's no scientist at all!

[GoatToucher]

I shapeshift into someone with considerably less Mathematical fluency than the author of XKCD, who sometimes overindulges himself to the point where the material is impenetrable to the rank and file.

[Kali Altzairu]

I shapeshift into a Catholic school and show the mathpbhobe I mean business with my prominent display of a man nailed to a plus-sign.