I shapeshift into a swarm of monks, which delights in this opportunity to stick it to all those fancy other-martials with their fancy armor and fancy swords.
I shapeshift into the Desert Lorax, who speaks for the cacti. And who eventually lets them all be cut down to make, I dunno, some kind of spiky hat factory maybe?
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I shapeshift into a mustache trimmer, and leave nothing of the Lorax.
I shapeshift into Ron Swanson, and destroy the mustache trimmer in a righteous rage.
I shapeshift into an ill-informed NBC Executive, who takes you off of the air because he thinks ratings are bad.
I shapeshift into a Fox News host, who screams incoherently about how the removal of Ron Swanson is a liberal plot causing you to reverse your ruling in fear.
I shapeshift into a rational human being.
I shapeshift into fire and destroy anything money can buy.
I shapeshift into a too-short power cord, limiting where the vacuum can move.
I shapeshift into a music critique and heavily criticize the power chord.
I shapeshift into an furious internet commenter and bury your critique under a pile of angry posts.
I shapeshift into a troll and cause the commenter's computer to explode from sheer rage.
I turn into uneaten meat, because you can't have any pudding if you don't eat your meat!
I shapeshift into a brick wall, which prevents people from getting to the meat.
I shapeshift into a crowbar, and smash the Kool-Aid Man's abdomen, causing the sweet sweet fluid to spill all over the ground.
OH NO!!!
I shapeshift into a rust monster and enjoy a crowbar appetizer.
I shapeshift into a pointy stick and kill the rust monster and the rogue.
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I shapeshift into a person with a pistol. Once I have shot my assailant and eaten the banana, I will have disarmed him.
I shapeshift into an Opera, and kill da wabbit. It's tragedy, doc.
I shapeshift into a ten year old albino girl in a leotard and swing from the chandelier... FROM THE CHANDELIEEEER!
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I shapeshift into a 3/5 flying creature, who bypasses the wall to attack directly to your health points.
I shapeshift into a WotC executive, who places you on the banlist.
I shapeshift into a discerning player who promptly leaves WotC behind for a better product.
I shapeshift into a shredder and Do What Must Be Done.
I turn into a silverfish (Minecraft style) and devour the document.
I shapeshift into a Creeper.
"Hey buddy. That sure is a nice stone block you're living in. Would be a shame if something happened to it. *TTTSSSSSSS*"
I transform into a guy standing ten feet away and am somehow immune to the Creeper's stone-pulverizing explosion.
I shapeshift into an Eye Surgeon, who can easily correct cases of double vision.
I shapeshift into the concept of beauty. I then expand inside the beholder's eyes, exploding them.
I shapeshift into a gem vampire and suck the blood diamond dry.
I shapeshift into the Real World, which does not tolerate Steven's level of awesome, and shifts him into a cartoon series.
I shapeshift into a dreaded Gazebo, whose impervious shell and vicious teeth destroy any descriptions imagined by others.
I fire a magic missile at the Gazebo, destroying it in a fiery cataclysm.