The Unofficial Top 32 Guildhall and Haunted House

[Eric Morton]

Greetings. On behalf of all the haunts and incorporeal undead sent packing for the next life by the latest batch of Superstar items, I would like to congratulate everyone who competed. I would also like to welcome this season's class of Top 32 finalists and alternates to the Top 32 Guildhall. (Pay no attention to the poltergeist activity in the room with the bloodstained floor. We're having that area dusted and fumigated. A dead guy I spoke to assured me that will fix the problem.)

As always, the Guildhall is a place for all past and present Top 32 finalists, alternates, judges, and Paizo staffers to hang out and chat during the course of RPG Superstar. If you belong to one or more of these listed groups, feel free to post in the Guildhall any time after the names of the Season 9 Top 32 have been revealed. Just keep in mind that posts in this thread are visible to the everyone on the boards, not just the Top 32. Don't say anything here that might result in a disqualification!

Again, this thread is intended for past and present Top 32 finalists, alternates, judges, and Paizo staffers. I ask that community members not belonging to these listed groups please create new threads when posting commentary, congratulations, or other messages to the Top 32. Posts from the voting public are important to the finalists. Such posts deserve their own dedicated threads so they don't get buried in Guildhall banter, where they might get overlooked by the finalists.

Thank you. Good luck. Let the games begin.

[Joseph Kellogg]

*Clears throat. Nervously looks at watch, then out the window. Fidgets with "Congratulations" balloons.*

[bdk86]

Eyes the "Congratulations Top 32!" cake hungrily.

[R D Ramsey]

Alternates traditionally hang out in the attic, hoping one of these big stone gargoyles doesn't mysteriously crash down in the courtyard.

Oops!

[Tripp Elliott]

Is there a "+4" cake in the corner somewhere?

[BartonOliver]

Since I'm a Schrodinger top 32 for the next day can I hang out here a while?

[Steven Helt]

"Schrodinger's Top 32" is very funny. Kudos.

I'm just making sure none of the freshmen run through the halls when moving in. And don't steal my Dews.

[R D Ramsey]

*Looks around, wonders why no one else is wearing a party hat today.*

[Jeff Hazuka]

*Relaxes, knowing his spot at the Kid's Table is good for at least one more day*

[Tripp Elliott]

The cake is going to get stale by tomorrow, but I know a secret to sneaking some cake from the middle, and no one finding out.

Who's with me?

[Monica Marlowe]

Eric Morton wrote:

Greetings. On behalf of all the haunts and incorporeal undead sent packing for the next life by the latest batch of Superstar items, I would like to congratulate everyone who competed. I would also like to welcome this season's class of Top 32 finalists and alternates to the Top 32 Guildhall. (Pay no attention to the poltergeist activity in the room with the bloodstained floor. We're having that area dusted and fumigated. A dead guy I spoke to assured me that will fix the problem.)

Thank you. Good luck. Let the games begin.

This somehow feels fitting, since I'm writing haunts even as I type this. I kind of dig the place, thank you Meepo!

[Steven Helt]

I don't generally approve of cake.

EDIT—Ugh. That was supposed to post as "Four Horsemen—Famine". Every year it gets me.

[Monica Marlowe]

Steven Helt wrote:

I don't generally approve of cake.

Man, who let that guy in again?

[Mikko Kallio]

Hmm, interesting.

[Clay Clouser]

This is always fun.

[Maurice de Mare]

Haunted is eerie prescient.

[Eric Morton]

Exterior. Night. The NEW KID stands in the middle of the woods.

(The New Kid glances at a smartphone, checking the time. In addition to telling the time, the phone indicates that no service is available at its current location.)

NEW KID (shouting): "Okay, guys, I'm here! Guys, where are you?"

(An ominous wind stirs the branches in the wood.)

NEW KID (shouting): "Seriously, guys. Let's just do this initiation thing so I can get back inside."

(Lightning flashes. Thunder claps. Rain starts to fall.)

NEW KID (shouting): "Come on, guys, where are you?"

(Branches rustle. A shape that might be a wolf dart between two large shrubs.)

NEW KID (shouting): "Guys, this isn't funny."

(More shapes move in the underbrush.)

NEW KID (shouting): "I'm going back to the car."

(The New Kid turns, but a wolf is blocking the path. Lightning flashes. Thunder claps. The wolf growls.)

NEW KID (shouting): "Guys!"

(The New Kid turns and runs. The wolf pursues. Other wolves join in. The New Kid stumbles through the dark and rainy woods, occasionally tripping on falled braches and stumbling. The wolves move effortlessly through the underbrush, but are alwasy just a few feet shy of their target.

(The New Kid stumbles out of the woods and into a clearing. Lightning flashes, revealing a large but worn-down house atop a nearby hill. The New Kid glances back in the direction of the wolves, then sprints for the old house. The wolves give chase, grey blurs darting across the clearing in pursuit of the New Kid.

(The New Kid reaches the porch of the old house and bangs frantically on the front door. No one answers. The New Kid glances back towards the wolves. They have all stopped at the threshhold of the old house's lawn, where they stand in a line, growling but unwilling to advance.

(The New Kid knocks on the door of the house, a bit less frantically this time.)

NEW KID: "Hello, is anyone there?"

(The New Kid turns to look at the wolves. Behind the New Kid, the house's front door swings open, seemingly of its own accord. The creaking of the opening door attracts the New Kid's attention.)
NEW KID: "Hello? Anyone there?"

(Lighting flashes. Thunder claps. The wolves howl. With one last glance at the animals standing across the lawn, watching hungrily, the New Kid enters the old house.)

[Eric Morton]

Interior. Suburban house. The TWO GUYS sit on a couch, eating junk food.

(Thunder claps. The lights in the house flicker briefly.)

GUY #1: "Wow. Big storm."

GUY #2: "Yeah, I'd love to see the New Kid's face right now."

GUY #1 (lauhging): "Yeah, that would be totally hillarious."

(Enter GIRL #1.)

GIRL #1: "What would be totally hillarious?"

GUY #1: "Oh, nothing."

GIRL #1: "No, really. Tell me."

GUY #2: "We told the New Kid we'd meet him out in the woods by the old Guildhall at midnight tonight, so he's probably out there in the rain and the wind right now."

GIRL #1: "What? Why would you send him out there and leave him hanging all night?"

GUY #2: "Because it's funny."

GIRL #1: "You are such an ass." (Grabs her coat off a nearby coat rack.)

GUY #1: "What? Where are you going?"

GIRL #1: "I'm going out to the old Guildhall to make sure the New Kid isn't lost or hurt or being attacked by wolves or something."

GUY #1: "There aren't any wolves around here."

(Girl #1 puts on her coat.)

GUY #1: "You're not serious. You're not really going out there to look for some stupid New Kid?"

GIRL #1: "I am. And if you ever want to have sex with me again, you're coming with me."

GUY #1: "What? No. It's pouring rain out there."

GIRL #1: "Well, you should have thought about that before sending the New Guy out there. Now get your keys. You're driving me out there."

GUY #1: "Dammit." (Stands up. Collects his car keys. Looks at GUY #2.) "Well, come on."

GUY #2: "What?"

GUY #1: "We're going out to the old Guildhall to find the New Kid."

GUY #2: "Why am I coming?"

GUY #1: "Because this prank was your idea."

GUY #2: "Okay, fine, but I'm inviting my girlfriend. And we're stopping at my house so I can steal some of my Dad's beer. If I'm going to drive out to a big, empty house in the middle of the night, I'm going to have some fun while I'm there."

GUY #1: "Bro, I like the way you think."

GIRL #1 (rolling her eyes): "Guys."

GUY #1: "Whatever. Let's do this."

GUY #2: "To the Guildhall!"

(Thunder claps. The lights in the house flicker ominously.)

[Taylor Hubler]

(Hands Eric Morton a long human bone.) Here, I found this humorus.

[Rich Malena]

Eric Morton wrote:

GUY #2: "Okay, fine, but I'm inviting my girlfriend. And we're stopping at my house so I can steal some of my Dad's beer. If I'm going to drive out to a big, empty house in the middle of the night, I'm going to have some fun while I'm there."

So are you also going to find a Professor/Priest and a couple of kids? Or are we not playing Betrayal at House on the Hill? Because some Betrayal would really liven this place up!

[Scott LaBarge]

Oh man, haunts?!!? And if my forum activity is any indication, my Will save sucks :-(

[Clay Clouser]

Steven Helt wrote:

I don't generally approve of cake.

EDIT—Ugh. That was supposed to post as "Four Horsemen—Famine". Every year it gets me.

We should rename this the "If you can still use aliases stay out" thread.

[Jeff Hazuka]

Clay Clouser wrote:

Steven Helt wrote:

I don't generally approve of cake.

EDIT—Ugh. That was supposed to post as "Four Horsemen—Famine". Every year it gets me.

We should rename this the "If you can still use aliases stay out" thread.

That would work nicely.

[Thomas LeBlanc]

Weren't Champion Voters allowed in the Guildhall last year?

TLS 1.0:

Only TLS 1.0 and no SSL is enabled! So my work computer doesn't allow me to post or do much else with the site atm.

[Thomas LeBlanc]

Jeff Hazuka wrote:

Clay Clouser wrote:

Steven Helt wrote:

I don't generally approve of cake.

EDIT—Ugh. That was supposed to post as "Four Horsemen—Famine". Every year it gets me.

We should rename this the "If you can still use aliases stay out" thread.

That would work nicely.

Don't forget alternates still show up with their aliases in the Superstar forums. We shouldn't keep them out.

[Jeff Hazuka]

Thomas LeBlanc wrote:

Jeff Hazuka wrote:

Clay Clouser wrote:

Steven Helt wrote:

I don't generally approve of cake.

EDIT—Ugh. That was supposed to post as "Four Horsemen—Famine". Every year it gets me.

We should rename this the "If you can still use aliases stay out" thread.

That would work nicely.

Don't forget alternates still show up with their aliases in the Superstar forums. We shouldn't keep them out.

Mine doesn't seem to.

#KidsTableSeason8

[Kobold Catgirl]

Uh, while we wait, since I figure I'm a shoe-in, why don't I just take this cake and...

*Turns into an incorporeal swarm and bolts, knowing that there is nothing that can possibly bypass such a powerful defense*

[Clay Clouser]

Goblins in the servers and kobolds in the halls...whats next...

[Owen K. C. Stephens]

Clay Clouser wrote:

Goblins in the servers and kobolds in the halls...whats next...

The raptor's on the roof, and it won't come down.

[Monica Marlowe]

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

Uh, while we wait, since I figure I'm a shoe-in, why don't I just take this cake and...

*Turns into an incorporeal swarm and bolts, knowing that there is nothing that can possibly bypass such a powerful defense*

Hey you, screwy kid, get off our haunted lawn! The trick or treating starts tomorrow. Sheesh, who mentioned cake again?

[Garrett Guillotte]

A grumpy owlbear scurries around in the vents.

[DM_aka_Dudemeister]

Thanks to the delay there is a brief period of quantum uncertainty where everyone is in the Top 32.

[Wren Brown]

Haunted? I ain't afraid of no ghosts! Bluff: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (4) + 2 = 6

[Kobold Catgirl]

Russ Brown wrote:

Haunted? I ain't afraid of no ghosts!

Rusty! Brave Sir Rusty, you go!

Alright, guys, twelve hours until my eviction. Wanting to give my departure the class and dignity I think I deserve, I have taken the liberty of recording my farewell to this thread. I hope that you will all view it and try to see things from my point of view. I know I've been occasionally seen as mildly childish and even petty. I know a lot of you are looking forward to the day that the Hall's janitor will no longer have to clean up little kobold "leavings" in the corners and under the nice couch. Still, I ask that you view this video with an open mind. Remember, this is your last chance to see a different side of me, to understand the complex turmoil that blah blah blah big setup lots of words definitely not what you think it is just click it already, c'mon, stop being paranoid, this is my final farewell, show some damn respect and just click it already you untrusting freak.

[Anthony Adam]

Owen K. C. Stephens wrote:

Clay Clouser wrote:

Goblins in the servers and kobolds in the halls...whats next...

The raptor's on the roof, and it won't come down.

Better get Cosmo dressed as bait again.... Ohhh, my guest key seems to let me in still ;)

[Wren Brown]

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

Russ Brown wrote:

Haunted? I ain't afraid of no ghosts!

Rusty! Brave Sir Rusty, you go!

Alright, guys, twelve hours until my eviction. Wanting to give my departure the class and dignity I think I deserve, I have taken the liberty of recording my farewell to this thread. I hope that you will all view it and try to see things from my point of view. I know I've been occasionally seen as mildly childish and even petty. I know a lot of you are looking forward to the day that the Hall's janitor will no longer have to clean up little kobold "leavings" in the corners and under the nice couch. Still, I ask that you view this video with an open mind. Remember, this is your last chance to see a different side of me, to understand the complex turmoil that blah blah blah big setup lots of words definitely not what you think it is just click it already, c'mon, stop being paranoid, this is my final farewell, show some damn respect and just click it already you untrusting freak.

I said I ain't afraid of no ghost! Even the ghost of a one hit wonder.

[Dieben]

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

Russ Brown wrote:

Haunted? I ain't afraid of no ghosts!

Rusty! Brave Sir Rusty, you go!

Alright, guys, twelve hours until my eviction. Wanting to give my departure the class and dignity I think I deserve, I have taken the liberty of recording my farewell to this thread. I hope that you will all view it and try to see things from my point of view. I know I've been occasionally seen as mildly childish and even petty. I know a lot of you are looking forward to the day that the Hall's janitor will no longer have to clean up little kobold "leavings" in the corners and under the nice couch. Still, I ask that you view this video with an open mind. Remember, this is your last chance to see a different side of me, to understand the complex turmoil that blah blah blah big setup lots of words definitely not what you think it is just click it already, c'mon, stop being paranoid, this is my final farewell, show some damn respect and just click it already you untrusting freak.

Hey Kobold Cleaver, did you know that over 99% of all Rickroll videos go to a url that ends in the letters "XcQ"? I'm afraid I have successfully made my trapfinding roll, friend.

Next time, run it through a website like Tiny, Google URL Shortener aka Google Truncate, TinyURL, or bit.do.

I hope these are of as much use to you in the future as they have been to me.

[Gabriel Almer]

Haunted house? Nonsense! I'm sure these are only old-wives' tales to scare children and fools. There has to be a reasonable explanation for these events. We should totally split up and get to the bottom of this...

[Clay Clouser]

Good idea scooby

[R D Ramsey]

*Accidentally pushes the stone gargoyle closer to the edge of the roof.*

[R Pickard]

*while getting ready to either congratulate the next top 32 or fight ghosts, knocks off her glasses and proceeds to feel about for them on the floor*

Jinkies!

[Scrappy-Doo Slaad]

Hey, who did the catering?! I found a couple peeled grapes in my eyeball hors-d'oeuvres!

[Kobold Catgirl]

Dieben wrote:

Kobold Cleaver wrote:

Russ Brown wrote:

Haunted? I ain't afraid of no ghosts!

Rusty! Brave Sir Rusty, you go!

Alright, guys, twelve hours until my eviction. Wanting to give my departure the class and dignity I think I deserve, I have taken the liberty of recording my farewell to this thread. I hope that you will all view it and try to see things from my point of view. I know I've been occasionally seen as mildly childish and even petty. I know a lot of you are looking forward to the day that the Hall's janitor will no longer have to clean up little kobold "leavings" in the corners and under the nice couch. Still, I ask that you view this video with an open mind. Remember, this is your last chance to see a different side of me, to understand the complex turmoil that blah blah blah big setup lots of words definitely not what you think it is just click it already, c'mon, stop being paranoid, this is my final farewell, show some damn respect and just click it already you untrusting freak.

Hey Kobold Cleaver, did you know that over 99% of all Rickroll videos go to a url that ends in the letters "XcQ"? I'm afraid I have successfully made my trapfinding roll, friend.

Next time, run it through a website like Tiny, Google URL Shortener aka Google Truncate, TinyURL, or bit.do.

I hope these are of as much use to you in the future as they have been to me.

I use tinyurl for other methods, but in this case, it being a transparent rickroll was kind of the joke. :P

Aagh! Seventeen minutes! No, you people need me! You're sheep! You don't know how good you've got it with me around! You can't do this to me do you know who I am oh dear, that's fourteen minutes. ಠ___ಠ

[Sam Harris]

*A pale white figure emerges from the kitchen, then wipes the flour from his face*

Alright. Who was responsible for placating the poltergeist today? Because...wha-hey, my cake!

[Kobold Catgirl]

*Is sucked back into hell, screaming all the while as the crossed streams boogityboogity mumbojumbo babbletech*

[R D Ramsey]

About to get crowded in here!

[Isaac Volynskiy]

I'm truenamed! So are a bunch of other people!

[Joseph Kellogg]

*Emerges from the wreckage of Season 8, Alexander-Godunov-at-the-end-of-Diehard-style*

[Kalervo Oikarinen]

Congrats to the fresh top 32!

[Sam Harris]

Congrats, everyone!