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1. Repeatedly failing to shower/tend to general hygiene beforehand.
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2. (If you're new to the group) Constantly talking about how much better the last game you played in was and how great your characters were compared to the those of the rest of the group.
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3. Ignoring or not reading the campaign handout.
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4. Not knowing how to calculate your attack roll for ten sessions in a row.
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5. Inability to show repeatedly and not to call/text/email/send smoke signals. Once is understandable. Twice is irritating. After that, you're a problem.
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6. Masturbate at the table and then defend it as "simply being in character".
Because that actually happened.
Edit: Put the number in front.
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6. Masturbate at the table and then defend it as "simply being in character".
Because that actually happened.
Edit: Put the number in front.
Wow...Is there a story here?
RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32
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Wow...Is there a story here?6. Masturbate at the table and then defend it as "simply being in character".
Because that actually happened.
Edit: Put the number in front.
If there is, do you really want to hear it? :/
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6. Cheating.
7. Eating all the snacks but never bringing any (but this is something that takes a long time to build up)
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Yes there is. It's not NSFW in wording, but I understand not everyone will want to read it.
The kid in question was a big David Lee Roth fan, but he didn't actually understand the meanings of the lyrics - which we weren't aware of. He was playing a bard that he said was a "gigalo". The DM allowed it, since he thought it could be an actually good roleplaying opportunity. What none of us realized is that the kid didn't understand that gigalo is not synonymous with a sex offender.
When the party got to town the DM asked what we wanted to do. He stands up, throws a fist in the air, and declares "I want to go to the tavern!" Ok, fine. A little dramatic about it, but ok. The rest of us mention what we're doing. Then we notice him stand up on his chair. DM mentions that maybe he needs to get off the chair before DM's Mom catches him on it.
"Am I at the tavern?" (still standing on the chair)
Yes. What next? And seriously, Mom will kill you if she sees you standing on the chair like that.
"I advertise for business!"
Uhh...ok...how exactly are you advertising for business?
His pants get dropped in one motion and he starts flailing it. Of course, the ensuing uproar drew the attention of the parental units, and the official proceedings escalated quickly.
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What the actual hell... How does someone think that's okay?
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RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32
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8. At a public event, the GM announces that he's fairly new to Pathfinder and this is his first time GMing. When he makes his first mistake (drawing the map with the mostly-irrelevant door on the wrong wall), a local regular is immediately on his feet, rolling his eyes, making exaggerated hand gestures, and telling him how he remembers the room looking from when he ran it.
9. When #8's new GM makes his second mistake (accidentally skipping someone's turn in combat), a local regular is immediately on his feet, rolling his eyes, audibly scoffing, and reaching over in front of the GM and rearranging the GM's Combat Pad to remedy the error.
10. When a brand-new player displays a misunderstanding of sneak attack (thinking the 1d6 goes on the attack roll), a local regular not only corrects him, but begins babysitting everything else the newbie does, up to and including picking up the newbie's character sheet to show him things on it and look for errors—all without permission, let alone request.
Numbers 8, 9 and 10 were all the same game, and the same "local regular", who is also an experienced GM and a local organizer. Didn't get booted from the table, but should have been.
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12. Making all three of their characters designed to kill the party. Even after they were told it was a douche move the first time (double points for only coming to one adventure after their first character). In the end it just devolved into an argument, and they were asked to leave.
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14. Using his laptop at the table to email his Chinese girlfriend and order lingerie from Victoria's Secret. When his turn came around he asked what everyone else had done. Finally told to leave laptop at home. He and laptop left.
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15. Completly losing it.
If you get loud during a game out of anger that's bad enough, but as soon as you throw a dice in a corner you can go. I tolerate it in my home group to a degree (my brother threw his dice away in fake anger - since it was his room it was not my problem where the dice landed, so okay), but if you do such a thing in a public space where you can throw a bad light on all of us - ciao!
16. Being discriminatory.
Now I'm not talking ingame - if your character just happens to think that all dwarves/elves/black people are stupid/evil/greedy that makes him an a#$*!+*, not you - but rather at the table. If you just happen to think that the scenario writer should be fired for writing a gay shop owner into the module I don't want you at my table. To a lesser degree: If your racist character makes someone else uncomfortable, please make clear that you are aware that your character is an a#$$%$&, you do not share his point of view and maybe drop that aspect of his character for the session.
Fortunately this has never been a problem with any of my groups - public groups have been tame, private groups have been exactly that - private, and the only racists were the NPCs. I couldn't even blame them - if you live in a land historically threatened by orcs I don't blame you for not trusting the half-orc.
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17. Greeting every member of the opposite sex you meet by sexually harassing them.
The person who first set up Organized Play where I live did this: Every male who came to the group, she propositioned (including, in my case, breathing in my face and tailgating me around the store when I tried to get away - luckily, I was able to play the 'asexual' card once she made it clear that that was her deal). Eventually she wound up hitting on another player's underage (13-15ish) kids. That and other obnoxious personality traits eventually got her exiled from the very group she started (and by her own official boyfriend, no less, a much more respectable person who had become our primary GM for a while - no, I don't know how long they'd been an item).
16. Being discriminatory....
The most bigoted person I've met in gaming so far kind of blurred the lines between the two paradigms you're talking about. He hated Elves - in and out of character - and talked about it at every opportunity. One of the first things he said to the DM when he joined the group was "if I see an Elf, I'm gonna kill 'em" (for understanding's sake, this wasn't as big a deal in the campaign we were playing, since there were no "Elves" as such). He said the same thing and at the same time about Chaos and necromancers, too. The guy was clearly too much of a Warhammer enthusiast (his character was a Dwarf Fighter/Barbarian - he didn't realize that Barbarians tended toward Chaotic alignments, though he wound up accepting that). Thing was, the way he talked about it felt real - as in, you got the sense that had an actual, live Elf walked into the room where we were playing, there would have been a problem.
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18. Pushing your personal political views every chance you get.
19. Pushing your personal religious views every chance you get.
20. Pushing your personal social views every chance you get.
Edit: add and vehemently arguing with anyone that doesn't immediately agree to the end of all of those.
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18. Pushing your personal political views every chance you get.
19. Pushing your personal religious views every chance you get.
20. Pushing your personal social views every chance you get.
21. Any of 18, 19, or 20, at all.
The gaming table is absolutely NOT the place for this.
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21. Any of 18, 19, or 20, at all.
The gaming table is absolutely NOT the place for this.
Kinda hard to avoid, though - what ISN'T "political?" Also, we have to keep in mind something that us young Americans (in particular) don't necessarily understand: Free discussion of politics shouldn't need to be a no-no in a healthy society, because most people should at least live in the same reality and historical period, meaning that people should be able to disagree without muzzling themselves or their consciences since differences are merely of opinions on details or honest dilemmas, NOT fundamental facts or morals.
“Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not to his own facts.” - Daniel Patrick Moynihan
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Let me put it this way, at my table, I don't care about your political positions, and you shouldn't care about mine. As long as everyone keeps their mouth shut, it can never become a problem.
Stick to the game, when at the table. That's my rule.
21. Any of 18, 19, or 20, at all.
The gaming table is absolutely NOT the place for this.
Kinda hard to avoid, though - what ISN'T "political?" Also, we have to keep in mind something that us young Americans (in particular) don't necessarily understand: Free discussion of politics shouldn't need to be a no-no in a healthy society, because most people should at least live in the same reality and historical period, meaning that people should be able to disagree without muzzling themselves or their consciences since differences are merely of opinions on details or honest dilemmas, NOT fundamental facts or morals.
“Everyone is entitled to his own opinion, but not to his own facts.” - Daniel Patrick Moynihan
I understand what you're saying, but I disgree. At the table it is game time. You can discuss your personal preferences on anything else during break time.
Yeah, we usually discuss "real world" things during break or after the game if it's not too late.
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I understand what you're saying, but I disgree. At the table it is game time. You can discuss your personal preferences on anything else during break time.
I don't disagree with that - but the problem is that these things can show up in other ways. Good luck playing D&D if you're unwilling to consider some "political opinions" to be unacceptable - and the thing to understand is that the reason politics are presently so toxic, and hence the settling in of this "mum's the word on politics" ethos, is because we've been ruled for the past few decades by a belligerent crypto-fascist minority whose agenda is anathema to the lessons that the rest of us have learned and built our lives on from past 100 years, but have been brilliant about obfuscating the issue to make the Evil appear acceptable.
I don't disagree with that - but the problem is that these things can show up in other ways. Good luck playing D&D if you're unwilling to consider some "political opinions" to be unacceptable.I understand what you're saying, but I disgree. At the table it is game time. You can discuss your personal preferences on anything else during break time.
We're not talking about playing your character a particular way (at least I'm not). We're talking about getting after other players for not just agreeing with any agenda you feel like pushing.
I understand that. See my edit.
See #18.
Everyone believes what they believe. A gaming table is not the appropriate forum for discussing differences in political philosophy. But that's just my opinion.
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It really depends on what you see as "political", too. My reaction to people talking about how much they hate/support a fiscal, environmental or foreign policy will be very different from people talking about how much they hate/support an ethnic, religious, or gender/sexuality minority. Let's just leave it at that.
23. Missing five sessions in a row, only occasionally writing in excuses like "Sorry i can't make it" or "I'm busy this week". Always on the night before.
It's got raw eggs in it! Two hundred people die each year from raw egg cookie dough poisoning.
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27. Player is obsessed with this one character they played in this one game that one time, and if not permitted to play that character in any game they're in, works to covertly sabotage the game out of protest.
28. Though NOT a pedophile, has a reliable knack for choosing to make advances on, out of a roomful of prospects, one of the small subset of people present who turn out to be underage.
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29. Player ragequits because he doesn't like a GM Ruling.
As for politics, religion, etc... given the nature of the game, that kind of thing can and will come up at the gaming table. Especially when people associate moral stances with political alignments. For example, I read an article recently that tried to associate liberal politics with the good alignment, and conservative politics with the neutral alignment.
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Because of course, no matter what they believe, nobody who you're capable of looking in the eye and talking to could possibly be Evil...oh, there's lots of Evil people out there, but somehow, they're always someplace else....
30. A player (not a character, a *player*) dies, and not too long after they had had a falling out with another player they'd formerly been close to....
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In my social circle we don't have Evil people like in your social circle. In our circle we do not have this phenomenon. I do not know who has told you we have it.
I see what you did there KC!
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Because of course, no matter what they believe, nobody who you're capable of looking in the eye and talking to could possibly be Evil...oh, there's lots of Evil people out there, but somehow, they're always someplace else....
30. A player (not a character, a *player*) dies, and not too long after they had had a falling out with another player they'd formerly been close to....
This is why no politics. Because someone will bring it up then not let it go. They just won't let it go. THEY WON'T LET IT THE $÷#= GO! AND YOU'RE ALL WRONG AND EVIL!
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31. GM lays out background on his/her homebrew world and carefully explains why a certain race or class may not exist in that world. Player immediately starts talking about how they could come up with a back story that will allow them to play disallowed race or class.
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31: Coming barefoot to the table, and spending your time picking at the callouses on your feet.
32: Hitting on the host's sister.
33: Hitting on the host's mother.
34: Eagerly bringing your gas-fueled 'fireball generator' and asking to try it out 'to enhance immersion.
35: Bringing firearms to add 'immersion' to a modern RPG. Especially with Intimidate checks.
36: Not washing your hands after using the bathroom.
37: Not flushing after Number 2.
Thing is, if political discourse can be expected to get that intractable, then something that is far, far bigger than one little gaming group is seriously wrong.
Something along the lines of believing that all people who subscribe to a certain political philosophy are evil? Something intractable like that?
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Something along the lines of believing that all people who subscribe to a certain political philosophy are evil? Something intractable like that?
Either that, or there's no such thing as Evil (a respectable view, of course). In principle, you have no right to condemn anybody if you aren't willing to look them in the eye while doing so.
38. Insists the party needs leadership and command structure and tries to implement it, even though most of the party is doing fine without it.
39. Insists that majority rule is a cure-all with no room for exceptions or nuance, and excoriates anyone who defies it for any reason.
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Fixing the numbering from two 31s...
41. Picking your nose at the table and wiping it on the battlemat. No, it is not a random encounter with an ooze.
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43. Group uses laptops. Suddenly, as a GM, you get a Steam popup that one of your players, that you are sitting at a table with, has started playing Skyrim...
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44. "Hey dude, could you help me get the gaming material out of my car trunk?"
"Sure, pal."
*walkwalkwalkwalkKA-TRUNK!*
"Uhhh...why's there a mutilated corpse in your trunk?"
"Whoopsie-daisy, forgot about that...."
45. Player was recruited online, but seriously misrepresented who they were, is in fact a flippant and very messy macaw.
46. Three Words: Too many puns.