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Mail of Ash Woven Ramparts
Acre, I went back to see if you posted your item, and I was so so SOOO happy to have seen that you submitted this.
This armor was on my keeper list. It is a visually artistic and compelling item, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.
My only grievance with this item is the fact it says it does not restrict movement, then immediately says an Overrrun maneuver is required to move through it.
Overall, big thumbs up here!
@ Brigg: Thanks for kind words! I'm glad you liked it. On your one point of contention, you are exactly right. This was the case of mechanics making more sense than the 'story' of the item. I.e. mechanically I felt it was better and simpler for the ash cloud to restrict movement only when attempting to leave the 'tangled curtain of ash' as it were, rather than imposing even more complicated rules to it. But you're spot on that it does come off a bit contradictory :)
Thanks again for the comments.
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Monastic staff
You’ve got a version of “true powers are revealed when…” which is always a bit of a turnoff.
I like the idea of using ki basically instead of spellcasting to power the staff, but I wonder if that might be a step too far as they’re not necessarily going to have any spell list so technically can’t use any of the spells. I think for me, though, the bigger thing was I wanted it to do something more. The central conceit was using ki as a power source, but other than that, it was still just a standard staff with the four basic spells. I think it needed to find a way to interact more with the ki, if that makes sense.
Skewer shield
I think this had a similar problem as the alchemist’s retort to me; it felt more like a mechanical type of weapon than magical. I couldn’t quite figure out why someone would pay for this type of shield instead of just getting one with shield spikes. I think maybe having it have shield spikes and being able to launch those – giving it some sort of manticore theme – might’ve been stronger.
Catapult ring
Loved this item. It was as wonderful as its creator’s wife says he is. :)
Living Copperthread Net
Brigg, you had my feedback earlier.
Shield of Compassionate Radiance
Jacob, you also had my feedback earlier. Sorry I didn’t realize what reliquary needed (I just assumed it was a special quality I wasn’t familiar with).
Jailbird's Sweetheart
Sorry, Owlbear Republic, I wasn’t a fan of this one. I didn’t care for the main power, which seemed like it would require awfully specific circumstances to be useful. Sure, players have to appear disarmed at times, but at least in my games, it’s not all that common.
I also don’t like the specific instructions for how it’s attuned, though that was more of a minor gripe.
Weapon Trap Shield
I think this probably got caught up in some of the common types of items submitted, though I liked this one more than some others. I thought the descriptive writing was strong, with “mar” being a good, solid verb. I think it probably just needed a little more oomph – it’s basically a free disarm or grapple on a miss. I wonder whether it may also have bothered some people to have to keep track of how close a miss it was? That can add a little to the bookkeeping…
Ragathiel's Regalia
Sorry, this just seemed like a spell in a can to me. It’s full plate that lets you fly. It needed something more.
Perpetual Vortex Staff
Apparently this was DQ’d for being one word over?
Cool description.
Staves typically have specific spells, so this feels a bit more like a rod.
As for the powers, steps of faith feels very much like something we’ve had (frequently) in Superstar. I thought it felt like it had been done before two year ago when the skipping stone made it into the Top 32 and two more years hasn’t changed that feeling.
Power two seems neat, though it feels similar to last year’s Jar of Mottled Clay. Does not having all its discs have an effect on the staff? I assume not, since it’s not mentioned, but I kind of feel like it should.
Power three also has some neat possibilities, but bull rush seems like an odd choice. It should also be 3d6 points of bludgeoning damage.
If I’d seen this, I think I might have given it some upvotes for the imagery, but I don’t think I would have consistently done so.
Raven Leather
Good solid item. I didn’t see it a lot, but I like it. Great flavor to it and I can see why it made a lot of top-item lists.
Courtier’s Solitaire
Sorry, Feros, but I wasn’t a fan of this one. While you’ve got some nice description, you spend more than 100 words on skill bonuses. Skill bonuses will never be Superstar.
Then you basically have an auto defeat for invisibility, and Stealth, which seems unfair. I could have +20 on my skill and roll a perfect 20 and … it’s all for naught? Just didn’t do anything for me.
The Wing Smasher’s Hammer
I would have liked to see the name just be wing smasher hammer, as otherwise it seems like a unique weapon.
Missing italics on the type of weapon.
I thought this was a solid item that I upvoted, but it really was too similar to last year’s earthbind boots.
Staff of the Hidden Blade
I really liked the idea of the staff being a sword cane; I thought that was a nice touch and since you have both feats in the requirements, I don’t think you need to worry about people nitpicking that.
You made sure the staff really worked with the ki pool in a way the monastic staff didn’t, but I think the fact that we had two people with the same idea on just the first page of the thread indicates it needed something more (though two earthbreakers with similar powers got in, so maybe that’s a moot point). I think it needed some other way to have the spells and ki interact.
If I’m really putting on my critic’s hat, I suppose I also wonder if the limitation of the sword having to be sheathed really matters. After all, wouldn’t I likely cast invisibility or mirror image at the start of combat and then pull the blade as part of my move action the next round (or via Quick Draw)? I’m wondering if, despite some of my earlier words to the contrary, this is really a magical scabbard.
Staff of entwined elements
I thought this was a nice solid staff. I had to look up elemental assessor, but as I recall it made sense with everything you had here. Didn’t quite make my keeper list, but there’s nothing I really disliked about it.
Honeycomb Cuirass
I was thrown out of my suspension of disbelief right away on this one, so you had to make up a lot of ground to start. Armor made of honeycomb? Just seemed strange to me.
We start off with a numerical bonus that makes some sense with the them, but again, I can’t help but think the wearer’s sticky with honey? What happens if he’s in the woods? Does a bear come try to eat him? Anyway, after that we also have a thematically strong sort-of grapple power that makes some sense but again just doesn’t really excite me.
Finally, you finish with a kind of random skill required for the construction. Again, it makes sense with the theme, but I think that skill requirements aren’t a popular choice for Superstar and something I’d definitely avoid for future years.
Deadeye’s Shepherd
You also know my thoughts on this one already, Frank. Still not sure the ram summoning worked. Sorry about missing the composite/compound bow thing. :/
Rod of Ghost Teeth
I saw lots of people really liked this one, Kreniigh, but I didn’t care for the idea of extracting teeth. Kind of squicked me out (even in a game where we routinely loot dead bodies).
Moving beyond the fluff, this looks like a magic missile/comprehend languages rod. It seems odd to me there’s no effect from the teeth shouting beware as they fly, since it would seem like they might get an Intimidate check.
Grandmaster's Plate
This was a strange one. The powers just didn’t feel at all like they went with the armor. It reminded me a lot of an item from last year as well. Saying “The destination for any creature teleported cannot end in a space that is by nature hazardous to the creature teleported” also seemed really vague to me. If someone’s teleported next to an ogre is that more hazardous? I assume you meant it so someone couldn’t be dropped in lava, but since it only works on allies, I don’t think that’s a real problem.
Sightstealer Rapier
I don’t remember seeing this often in voting. I like it, but I think you’re right that it just needed to do a little bit more. I felt like this could be in a book of magic items, but just wasn’t quite Superstar.
I did wonder when/how it would be used. Let’s say I’m fighting something where I’d need to borrow its low-light/darkvision. Chances are I’m doing something pre-fight that already lets me get around it. Now, maybe I could douse my torch once I was using someone else’s eyes, but I think that limited the appeal somewhat.
Oddly, I did NOT find this to cross that squick line, though I do think it treaded close. I think the difference is the cup just appears like an open eye and isn’t actually one.
Thieving Buckler
This was one of a number of stealing shields, which didn’t help it. I didn’t like your writeup treated it as an intelligent item, with it having habits and taking a liking to the bearer. I’m not sure why you have the retrieving drawback. It feels tacked on and just would kind of annoy me as a player (though, after a single day, it’s a moot point).
You’re also missing commas in your price and cost.
Dimensional Skewer
This was an interesting idea that took some time for me to wrap my brain around. I was trying to figure out how/why it would be used. I ended up deciding it might be best to use on an ally, so he/she can advance and basically let the sword user stay safely behind. I couldn’t quite figure out why you would use it on an opponent, since if you got close enough to do so, you’d already be in melee. Now maybe you could attack things behind the opponent, but it seems limited. Unfortunately, using your sword on your allies just seems to run counter to the point of having a sword.
I think it was that dichotomy that really hurt it. I did upvote it because it was an interesting idea and written well, but I just didn’t see much point of using it.
Phantom Guardian’s Ring
I thought this had some neat idea, but also some confusing elements. It’s formed from your voice … but that then never again seems to factor into it. I kept expecting some form of sonic attack or damage and it just never materialized. I also really disliked the enchanted shield allowing additional attacks of opportunity. That seemed really counterintuitive to me. The flanking aspect also felt a bit like items we’ve seen before in Superstar, but I didn’t really ding it for that as I didn’t feel like it was a major part of the item, even though I could see it being used mostly for that purpose.
Mummer’s Slapstick
The name immediately raises flags for me, as I don’t want slapstick in my fantasy swords and sorcery game.
Your second sentence is all back story. What if it’s created by my bard in his lab during some down time? Because it could be per the game rules.
I think the powers certainly fit the theme well, but it was a theme I just didn’t like at all. Sorry, I just wasn’t the audience for this one.
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Mail of Ash Woven Ramparts
DUDE.
Acre.
DUDE.
I don't have any really substantial critiques or suggestions regarding this armor, but I wanted you to know that it was my favorite out of everything I came across during the voting period. The only things that made me pause and consider how well it would function were the Overrun requirement and the fact that the fill-in effect can't be triggered unless the wearer has a movement speed of 35 or higher. (And a speed of 35 only nets one or two squares of 'fill-in').
That being said, this armor immediately evoked images of Charon's Claw, that sweet, smoky sword Artemis Entreri wields in so many Salvatore novels, and that grabbed my interest right away. I liked your armor so much that I added it into one of the games I'm GM'ing as a reward for one of my PC's.
And that PC, after he read the description, just dropped his jaw. He loves it, man. Just plain loves it!
And while I'm sure it's little consolation after missing the Top 32, I thought you'd like to know that your creativity specifically brought some added awesomeness and enjoyment to my gaming table.
Well done!
Did we just become best friends? Yep!
Seriously, thank you for making my day. Your compliments are far, far too kind. But I thank you and accept them all the same :)
Be sure to keep me posted on how this magic item works in actual play in your game. I'm love to know. Hopefully, it's not a complete disaster and doesn't ruin your game :)
Your point of pause is well founded. The ability run in a circuit and fill in the remaining squares with ash while having a 20' or 30' movement speed is.... umm... 'meh' at best. In fact not great with only a 30' movement speed. However, I actually designed the item's last ability as sort of capstone ability which would really shine when used in conjunction with a spell such as expeditious retreat or haste, where the wearer's base movement speed would end up at 50' or 60' for a single move action. I'd suggest that for the player in your game, just to see what happens. That is, until you're sick of this armor and then I'd suggest to you as the GM to have an NPC sunder it to death :)
Thanks again for all the kind words.
p.s. I've never actually read any of the Salvatore novels, but I might have to check this character out :)
Staff of Entwined Elements: The wall o’ text with bad formatting kept me from really paying the attention to this item I should have. It was mechanically sound, but a bother on the eyes after hours of voting. The effect was also not terribly exciting, as the author suggests. Lower tier.
Hey, my formatting was perfect! Word choice maybe not so much! And it was probably too long!
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Ring of the Clockwork Sentinel (and others)
Feros, thanks for your comments--not just for my item but for all the reviews you're doing!
These were just my thoughts during voting:
Ring of the Clockwork Sentinel - So many words for so few spell in a can abilities.
Thanks for the feedback Thomas.
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hey, sorry i'm late for the party... not too late I hope... I failed to reach the top 32 so I instead submit my item for public ridicule (and constructive criticism). it was originally named "Spellsyphon" instead, but i changed it at the last minute because i was afraid some people wouldn't know what a syphon was (especially using the more archaic spelling); i like the original name better but i'm posting with the revised title to make it easier for those cutting and pasting from their notes.
thank you to all who are putting so much time into this thread (there have been past years where I was one of you, but i just don't have the time for it anymore).
Aura strong abjuration; CL 15th
Slot none; Price 97,015 gp; Weight 4 lbs.
DESCRIPTION
The blade of this +3 keen longsword is adorned with glowing azure runes which shed light equivalent to a light spell when drawn. Any time a critical hit is successfully confirmed with this sword against a spellcaster it absorbs one of the target’s spells. If the target prepares spells, it must choose one of its prepared spells of the highest level it currently has available to cast, which is immediately lost; if the target is a spontaneous spellcaster, it loses one of its available spell slots from the highest spell level in which it currently has an available slot. A DC 22 Will save negates the loss of this spell or spell slot.
Spelldrinker crackles with blue energy after absorbing a spell and the next attack made with it before the end of the wielder’s next turn gains a bonus to hit equal to the level of the spell absorbed and deals an extra 1d4 damage per spell level. If the wielder has an arcane pool or reservoir she can instead spend a standard action before the end of her next turn to absorb the spell energy, regaining arcane points equal to its spell level (up to her normal maximum). If the wielder does not attack or absorb the spell by the end of her next turn the runes erupt in brilliant light, providing illumination as a daylight spell for 1 round per spell level. No additional spells can be absorbed while this daylight effect is active.
CONSTRUCTION
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, daylight, greater magic weapon, greater spellcrash , keen edge; Cost 48,665 gp
Dimensional Skewer
This was an interesting idea that took some time for me to wrap my brain around. I was trying to figure out how/why it would be used. I ended up deciding it might be best to use on an ally, so he/she can advance and basically let the sword user stay safely behind. I couldn’t quite figure out why you would use it on an opponent, since if you got close enough to do so, you’d already be in melee. Now maybe you could attack things behind the opponent, but it seems limited. Unfortunately, using your sword on your allies just seems to run counter to the point of having a sword.
This appears to have been a common sentiment about my item. Using the weapon on an ally was certainly one of the intended uses (and I do agree with the commenters who thought it was too good when used this way; I should have changed something to reign it in). But the main one was to get attacks of opportunity. The idea is that you use this on one of your enemies -- the other enemies probably won't realize what the weapon does and might walk by their ally -- and suddenly you get an aoo. Even after your opponents realize what happened, you can gain a huge threatened area if you skewer a large enough creature, potentially gaining more aoos.
Was my problem that people didn't think the use of this item to gain attacks of opportunity was particularly valuable, or that they didn't realize this possibility?
By the way, I hope to come back to this thread and review some items, if I have time after I get through the top 32. Thanks for all the feedback in this thread and elsewhere!
Marathon Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9
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Which one was yours, Brigg? =/I am relegated to posting from my phone.
Thank you, Thunderfrog, for your honest critique. I'm already beginning to craft some new stuff for next year. ^.^ Paying special attention to visuals, as well as functionality!
Wow...sorry for the delayed reply.
Mine was the Living Copperthread Net
Edit: Page 3!
SLEEPER'S VESSEL: So it's the world's cheapest +1 dagger, but has a special function that you can use to destroy it, which you wouldn't. Also; if your attack kills them, they become an object which gaseous form doesn't work on, and coup de grace kills low level people very easily. In summary: This is a wondrous item, not a weapon.
RING OF UTMOST NEED: Any item whose only purpose is to function for one minute per week will usually live, forgotten, in a belt pouch. Otherwise, the ability to be briefly good at a skill you normally aren't isn't something I normally am fond of (I like players having to make choices and live with them, including skill point allocation), and its safety-net feel doesn't really make it shine in my eyes.
CRYOHYDRA'S COIL: Oooh a whip!
* I am assuming the chill touch is only a single touch of the spell (which has multiple charges), not one per tendril or anything?
* The restriction on the otherwise at-will cold burning hands is interesting, and a decent attempt at trying to balance the property, but the description is a bit fluffy; what action is it to change the enhancement bonus, if any? Do I have to go through the process of lowering the enhancement for 3 rounds again before another blast (I would assume yes, but the description is unclear)? What if I upgrade the item to a +4 or +5, do I still need to drop it to +1, or is a drop of 2 all that is needed?
* I like the hydra concept and the regenerating tendrils, but the unlimited spell effects make me rather leery, and the chill touch doesn't seem to fit the cold theme, as it is negative energy.
* If this were changed to say… a +2 frost scorpion whip which on critical caused the target to be vulnerable to cold damage (if they're not immune) for 3 rounds, and packed a 3/day CL5 burning hands (but with cold damage), I would be a bit more positive about it :)
* Good concept, but caution is needed on the spell abilities.
ARROWEATER SHIELD: What type of shield is it? What is its enhancement bonus? Also, how do you determine if the shield is struck, or the wearer? This reads like a portable hole stuck to a board that you hold in front of incoming missiles and hope they go in. Could work as a wondrous item, but presently doesn't work as a shield. Sorry.
THRIVING BRANCH: A quarterstaff is a double weapon, I am assuming only one end of this staff is magically enhanced? Is the entangle caster level 5 (like the staff) and centered where the wielder struck? Is the wielder immune to the effect, or does he risk entangling himself? Other than the disarm bonus, the main ability is a single use SiaC, making the item overall extremely overpriced for what it does, and the description needs a lot of work to be clear.
BREAKAWAY SWORD OF BEGUILING: It's not a weapon. It's a wondrous item, and a poorly designed one at that, I'm afraid.
* Is this actually a weapon? If it is, what type of weapon is it?
* It would also need to be masterwork (300gp) and at least +1 (2000gp) before it can have other magical properties. 1/day beguiling gift with a CL of 1 would then cost another 400gp, plus the equivalent of the glamored armor property (2700gp) to disguise itself.
* Sadly, no. This is a wondrous item, and one needing a lot of work at that.
SHILLEGLAGH OF LEGIONS: Like a cudgel to my brain (lame pun, but I had to).
* Not really getting the theme here. Black flames bound in electrum. Extradimensional rift. Illusion. Summons. Blink. Animal buffs… What?
* Who is this for? Druids or Wizards? You know that spells not on your list can't be used without a UMD check, right? Either way, the wielder is paying a lot for abilities they can't use, and would likely be better off if the staff picked one class and stuck with it.
* I'm seeing 72,000gp of spells, plus unique abilities. Fair for a price tag of 82,000gp, if the unique abilities are reasonable; this one is… messy.
* How does the flanking bonus work? Why does it start at +1 when it would normally be +2 for flanking? Does this mean that if a creature had sneak attack, they'd get it when other 'legion' creatures attack the same target?
* The use of wizard class abilities as a special is an interesting concept, and does promote the 'stronger bond' idea (and given the limited durations and uses involved, wouldn't be too unbalancing)… but given the unfocused nature of this item, really doesn't redeam it, in my eyes.
HERMETIC ARMOR: Armor that creates alchemical items. Like an alchemical version of the robe of useful items… only cheaper and renewing each day. Do the alchemical items vanish? If not, we have the entrepreneur's dream right here. In my opinion, it could really use more abilities related to being armor, rather than a bag of alchemical goodies, such as something relating to the caustic appearance.
Deadeye’s Shepherd
You also know my thoughts on this one already, Frank. Still not sure the ram summoning worked. Sorry about missing the composite/compound bow thing. :/
I figured the I told you so was coming sooner or later... I cut it and added it back in after Richard was like dude why'd you cut that. I knew it was a possible mistake but at the end of the day I wanted a 3 fold combat aspect Archery, Melee, Mounted.
If I had it to do over again I'd have shifted it to a special option if you used the bow as a focus for a mount spell instead and had the bow merge into the rack. Yeah that's gonzo but at least it isn't boring.
I'm going to take a moment to thank everyone who has provided feedback.
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Bring on the love/hate mail!
Glacial Crusher
Aura moderate evocation; CL 9th; Weight 8 lbs.; Price 10,305 gp
This +1 frost greatclub appears to be made entirely out of ice. Whenever the wielder strikes an opponent, flecks of ice cascade off onto the target of the attack. Until the end of the wielders next turn, whenever the next time the target would suffer damage from a cold source, the ice flecks shatter, dealing an additional 1d6 points of cold damage and removing the effect. Alternatively, if the target becomes the victim of a spell or effect with the cold descriptor that requires a saving throw, they suffer a -2 penalty to the save while under the effect of the ice flecks.
A glacial crushers ice flecks can only affect an individual target once per round.
CONSTRUCTION REQUIREMENTS
Craft Magic Arms and Armor, ice storm, wall of ice; Cost 5,305 gp
Glacial Crusher:
This was a good concept for an item, though I'm sure the lack of formatting hurt your chances substantially. I liked it and had a generally positive attitude towards it while voting. Its mechanics and function are mostly clear, with a little synergy, too, except for the part "..., whenever the next time the target..." I can guess what happened there. The "removing the effect" phrase gave me pause for a moment, too. Then there are small things such as "wielders" vs "wielder's" that you've got to watch out for.
In short, it's a good concept that would be a solid item with a little polish.
RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32
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Champion Voter Season 6, Champion Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Champion Voter Season 9
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These were just my thoughts during voting:
Spelldrinker - This was the only spell stealing item I liked, due to Will save and limited usage. But didn't like the regaining pool and the daylight part made no sense.
Glacial Crusher - Liked the idea behind it, but had too many issues. +1 frost greatclub. Formatting issues. Underpriced.
Always late...
Here we go with my submission (Minus most of the special formatting).
All I ask is that you be honest and give constructive criticism:
Quill of the Peacock Spirit
Aura moderate evocation; CL 13th
Slot none; Price 58,850 gp gp; Weight 3 lbs.
Description
This weapon is a beautiful but exotic +1 mithral planar totem spear that is unnaturally smooth, warm to the touch, and delightfully quick to wield for its size. The spearhead of this weapon is engraved heavily and resembles a peacock feather's stylized 'eye image.' This spear is obviously an ancient Shoanti weapon design, but most Pathfinders have little doubt it was created by the lost Azlant/Thassilonian religious order of the Peacock Spirit. If the wielder of the quill has a ki pool or the bardic performance class ability, one of the quill's unique abilities allows the owner to spin the quill clockwise in an obvious manner to activate a gust of wind spell. The save DC for this is equal to 12 + the wielder's Wisdom or Charisma modifier. It takes a standard action, and costs either 1 ki point or one round of bardic performance, to activate this ability. Alternatively, if the spear is spun counterclockwise as a full round action, the weapon produces a very loud and shrill screech that can be heard for up to a mile away without a Perception check. This sound can be activated by anyone holding the spear, but it cannot be produced by accident and provokes attacks of opportunity when used. Finally, anyone who uses this spear with their Performance (wind instrument) skill will find the weapon is also considered a masterwork instrument.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, creator must be a monk or have the Craft (instrument) skill, gust of wind, horn of pursuit, plane shift; Cost 29,425 gp
SLEEPER'S VESSEL: So it's the world's cheapest +1 dagger, but has a special function that you can use to destroy it, which you wouldn't. Also; if your attack kills them, they become an object which gaseous form doesn't work on, and coup de grace kills low level people very easily. In summary: This is a wondrous item, not a weapon.
Yeah, I realised that I'd probably fallen into Wondrous Item territory a few days after submitting...and I must admit I did worry about the 'what happens if you accidentally killed your target during use' issue but figured it was just one of those things that might happen every now and again...
...and yes, the pricing...ouch!!!!
Sleeper's Vessel:
The visual on this is quite cool, but a three minute duration? That is not long enough to clear an area and deposit someone elsewhere. A longer hold period with an option to release the prisoner sooner would have made this item much better.
I realised this early on and struggled with methods of extending the duration...I suppose that I should really have gone with a higher CL...but then I got caught up in the idea that a short duration gives you a really limited amount of time to escape...and then it's a race against time... Glad you liked the visual though...
Sleeper's Vessel - "Favored by" and "used by" down-checks. Weird by unique ability which I liked, but not very useful. Underpriced. Price/cost incorrect.
'Used by / favoured by' are now firmly and thoroughly removed from my vocabulary... I spent ages crafting those little sentences - and they clearly turned a lot of people off!!! Lesson learnt for next year.
I was looking to do something different with a weapon so I am happy to see you call it out as 'weird by unique' even if, and I do agree, it's a bit niche... I think I probably had my GM hat on when crafting this... And maybe I made something that works as a plot device but isn't something that players could get terribly excited about...
I realize mechanically it's boring, just modifying the spells it casts. Would it be any better if it were more accessible? Removing Reverse Gravity would make it CL 8...
Any critique is greatly appreciated!
Heaven's Tether
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 13th
Slot none; Price 71,500 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
Description
The reflection of this silvery staff shows only clouds moving rapidly against gravity. These clouds occasionally escape Heaven's Tether and quickly dissipate. Once per day the wielder can still the reflection, calming the clouds and becoming bound to the sky for 1 min./level. For the duration, stabilizing against the effects of a Levitate spell is automatic and does not require a full round, and spells can be cast while falling. Casting a spell during a skybound fall does not require a concentration check. The staff allows the use of the following spells:
Feather fall (1 charge)
Levitate (1 charge)
Glide (Advanced Player's Guide) (1 charge)
Hostile levitation (Ultimate Combat) (2 charges)
Reverse gravity (4 charges)
Construction
Requirements Craft Staff, Feather Fall, Levitate, Glide, Hostile Levitation, Reverse Gravity; Cost 35,750 gp
Sleepers Vessel: Neat idea, but the math is all off. +1 weapons cost 2000gp. It does have a drawback, but also ethereal affect magic. People also tend to scorn items that work against a very low HD, since it won’t always be relevant. Lower tier.
Thanks for your critique, and to the others who have taken their time to look at it... I'll gladly take 'neat idea' even if the implementation wasn't everything it could have been (there's that cost again!!!)
Just out of interest, what do you mean by It does have a drawback, but also ethereal affect magic?
Page 4!
DISRUPTION DISC: Creative use of the arcane spell failure mechanics, but not something I found too exciting.
* It should also mention what kind of shield it is: Buckler, light or heavy, and of what material.
* You need a whole pile of these to be significant, and given the short range, shooting said caster with a bow would probably be more effective. A merciful bow if you want to take them alive. Creative… but just didn't do it for me. Sorry.
TRAITOR'S BLADE: I can see what you were trying to do, but there are a few bones that I need to pick with it.
* It suggests having 3/day full-attack with sneak attack at a range of 30ft. The Hunter's Surprise (Ex) advanced rogue talent lets you do this once per day to an adjacent target, and the 3.5 Spell Compendium had the 1st level spell blood wind which let the subject make natural attacks with a range increment of 20ft, as if thrown weapons (but that's not a Pathfinder thing – there might be something similar, though).
* Assuming that the advanced rogue talent is roughly equal to a feat, and the ranged component is roughly a 2nd level spell (for balance), that puts it around 7400 per use, or +22,200gp for the special, plus 18,302gp for the dagger = 40,502. Not taking into account the increased vicious property for the shadow strikes.
* Also, most divine casters will despise anyone who has this ("I used my dagger again. Can I get some healing?"). But that's a common issue with vicious weapons.
* Good idea and theme, but I think the hidden strike ability was overdone (maybe a single attack as a standard action?), and not costed in accordance with what it does =/
ROD OF RESONANCE: Too much for too little =/
* This begs to be compared to the Metamagic Rod, Enlarge, as it duplicates much of its functionality. It affects all spell levels, like the greater rod (24,500gp), but is actually vastly superior as it affects all spells cast within ten minutes within 30ft of the wielder, rather than merely 3/day. And bardic music.
* The downside? Sonic only. Which cuts out a lot of the things one would normally use a metamagic rod for, but still leave a lot of fun spells.
* It also doesn't need to be wielded by the owner to get the effect; a cohort or hireling can just follow you and give you the benefit, making it even more convenient. And it's a swift action to active.
* In summary; Even restricted to sonic spells, this is vastly underpriced for what it does. Honestly, if it was just 3/day "any sonic spell" or "any bardic music performance" by the wielder, then it would probably be worth the price tag listed.
RHEUMATIC ROD: Theme good. Mechanics… not. Sorry.
* It's not quite a 1/day sands of time, as it instead automatically nerfs their speed, but allows a low DC save against the aging effect.
* It should refer to sands of time for the full details of how to handle the details.
* There needs to be SOME kind of defense against the 1-hour speed nerf. Especially for the price: A 1/day 3rd level spell (the aging) is already 6,000gp, leaving only 3,720 for the speed effect.
* One-shot items are backpack fillers, IMO. It really needs some extra abilities to make it stay in the PCs hand longer, but also some kind of defense against the speed reduction.
MIMIC SKIN: Mostly a set of spells in a can, with a little armor attached =/
* So under 7% of the item's cost is actual armor, which is normally something a PC likes to have protecting them, rather than disguising them.
* I see the mimic theme you're going for, but this would be much better as a cloak than armor, IMHO.
* Also… Unless this is intended as an NPC item, I can't think of anyone else who would actually wait around disguised as a treasure chest for eight hours.
* Lastly; Don't quote the full text of a spell, just reference it, where its from, and what exceptions to the norm apply :)
NORGORBER'S LENS: I want to like this item, but it's just a bit too convoluted to use without pausing the action to figure out what actually happens.
* The ranged-stab ability is neat, and it makes sense that one must fight defensively, given the ability comes from the buckler. It does need clarifying; Is this a full-attack, or a single attack that is part of a full round action? Substantial power difference between the two.
* The big 1/day ability requires what action? How do you calculate the number of attacks? What if the wielder is forgoing the shield bonus to AC to use TWF?
* Not sure why people keep mentioning facing, given that the item states that it creates a cone effect, and the wielder is hidden from creatures in the cone. Facing is irrelevant; either you're in the cone and find it hard to hit the wielder, or you're not.
* Not sure why the last paragraph states that "all uses for the day are wasted", when the item only has one use of that ability, and must already have used it in order to create the condition that ends the effect when damage is taken. It's a bit redundant.
* In summary; I think I can see what you were trying to do, and the concept (and buckler!) is cool, but the mechanics got way too over complicated, while still having questions lingering.
THUNDERING SHIELD: I'm not personally fond of the "items that break items" niche, but I appreciate others are. Price/cost wonky. What action is it to activate the shield? Can you still attack if using it while charging? Also not sure how the shield chewing on items ties in with the 'thundering' theme.
RING OF FORGOTTEN ACQUAINTANCE: I really appreciate the desire to make an item that encourages and ties into roleplay. That said, an item with two +5 skill bonuses is worth 5,000gp. This item is messy to use, extremely situational, hard to arbitrate as the GM, and substantially overcosted.
TEMPEST BOW: Good god! It's a composite longbow that isn't adaptive! You have my attention.
* And the special is a 3/day 100ft line, which can knock medium and smaller creatures prone and 1d4 x 10ft back, taking 1d4 nonlethal per 10 ft, unless they save at a DC15 Str check. Not very impressive so far, sadly.
* Using said ability is a full round action, and involves a standard attack roll against… what? A square? One target? All affected targets? The item needs to specify.
* If the above attack roll (against something) succeeds, the targets take an extra d6 damage, and the Str DC to increases by the wielder's Str modifier… Better, but still weak.
* Seriously, for 61,000gp, you could have packed in a lot of abilities, and using control weather as the basis really doesn't do a whole lot for the gp value, compared to lower level (and often more effective) spells.
* Interesting idea, but the mechanics needed refining to make it give a lot more for the price tag, in my opinion.
* P.S. I don't have anything against the adaptive property really… I just get weary of it being the default state of bows since its introduction.
DYNAMIC STAFF: Mechanically, it's a double-strength ring of spell storing (which is a 50,000gp magic item in and of itself), only better, because it's a staff and spells cast from it use your level and ability scores, if higher. I'd be suggesting adding another 0 to the cost to actually balance it against the ring. Intentionally or no; it's duplicating an existing item, only better and cheaper, and I'd really recommend doing a search for item abilities that resemble your idea before submitting, next time.
STAFF OF THIN AIR: I tried to picture someone using this. I laughed so much I cried. Not being cruel, just honest… there are some hilarious issues with actually using it….
* On this topic: Bull's strength is the wrong spell to have both for practicality and theme. Feather fall. You want feather fall. Oh god do you want feather fall.
* If you have a ring of feather fall, then you get to dangle from the air by it comically as you drift slowly downwards. Hopefully not having used it in combat against anyone with bows.
* Invisibility, by default, affects your gear, so doesn't need the qualifier, unless you want the staff to remain invisible after you throw it… at which point teleporting to it (or finding it again) will be HILARIOUS.
* Invisibility also ends the moment you perform a hostile action. Like making an attack… e.g. throwing a javelin. Regardless of who you're aiming at, I'm pretty sure a lot of GMs would rule this makes you visible again…. though possibly not the staff. See above.
* Price for the spells is 39,360gp, the feat is ~5000gp, leaving 20,540gp for the 200ft of teleporting. While entertaining, I could get 2/day dimension door for the same price, with vastly better distance and less chance of falling or losing my super-expensive item.
* Also, you probably should have reduced the weight to suit a javelin, which is 2 lbs.
* Ultimately… the item is a lot of fun to play with, but I don't think it's quite as practical as it may have been intended.
SKYWALKER'S CLOTH: To nitpick; It's +3 armor, which gives it a minimum CL of 9th. The visuals are awesome, but it is a very, very expensive item, especially considering the wearer is usually in a party who would prefer they not wander into the heavens on their own. I can't help but like it, but at the same time it falls into the "Ornamental Item"; it looks good on the shelf, but not something I could see people wanting to actually use.
Courtier’s Solitaire
Sorry, Feros, but I wasn’t a fan of this one. While you’ve got some nice description, you spend more than 100 words on skill bonuses. Skill bonuses will never be Superstar.Then you basically have an auto defeat for invisibility, and Stealth, which seems unfair. I could have +20 on my skill and roll a perfect 20 and … it’s all for naught? Just didn’t do anything for me.
Thanks for the review Jacob. Yeah, the consensus seems to be forming that I got the imagery down and blew up on mechanics and focus. This seems to be a running problem with my designs for all three years I've entered and definitely something I have got to get a handle on. Thanks again! :)
Spelldrinker - This was the only spell stealing item I liked, due to Will save and limited usage. But didn't like the regaining pool and the daylight part made no sense.
Thanks for the feedback Thomas! The concept I was going for was that the magic it absorbed had to go somewhere- either out in an attack, in to a pool, or burned off through the much brighter runes...
I think that aspect of the item might have made more sense with the original name... "Spelldrinker" (in retrospect) sounds like it should consume the magic, "Spellsyphon" sounds like it's drawing magic out to send it somewhere else... Oh well.
Thank you to all of you that have critiqued raven leather thus far. I'm glad that so many people liked my item and have given me constructive criticism.
To answer some specific concerns:
Yeah, as most of you have guessed, this really was meant to be a cloak. To offer an excuse, I had a really busy December so by the time I remembered to look up the approaching Superstar, I had less than 24 hours to scrape something together. In hindsight making this into ring might have made more sense and I have no idea why the price is so high. If I had to guess, I probably trusted the creation guidelines too much. But that's what you get when you don't have the luxury of sleeping over night and then looking at your creation again. Mea culpa.
Another part is that while I *presume* you use the same 10 minute duration for the raven swarm form, that's not 100% clear. It would't take much to make it clear, but as it the powers need some rewriting.
I actually looked up a way to word that part. I believe I got the wording from time oracle's time flicker mystery, if memory serves, so I'm a bit confused about how I should have worded it instead.
There's no particular reason this is raven leather, rather than a cloak of the raven, or a ring of the raven -- and no real reason it's a raven rather than a hawk, or crow, or bats.
Aside from the visual appeal, that is. I actually toyed with bats, as then I could have worked some kind of sonar in, but decided that ravens would add a little bit of coolness to it and avoid the obvious Lord Dracula vibes. Though apparently that also turned a few people away from it.
Why studded leather instead of leather? It seems like it should have a more natural appearance.
I suppose I simply liked the visual more and I wanted that extra +1 armor bonus. A few days after submission I actually thought that I probably should have gone with leather just so that druids and the like could benefit from this as well.
Ravens swarms as you wrote them brought up good imagery, and it was smart to separate the travel/combat uses of the armor.
Thanks, I'm glad somebody picked up on that, as it was my intention to offer two different modes for different purposes.
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Vestment of the Twin Soul
*Formatting and wording issues. Price/Cost don't match.
*This seems like some kind of mementoish wondrous item (in fact, it wouldn't make a terrible cameo ring, I suppose, for this year's types, although it feels more like a necklace or slotless to me) and not an armor.
That is a fair point.
Mine wasn't actually a repurposed wondrous item, but it's understandable why some voters and judges could suspect it of being one, given how many contestants did submit reshaped versions of the wondrous items they'd been making since last February (and some had accidentally left clues to that in their crafting requirements...:O ).
My inspiration came from the numerous images of wilderness warriors, beastmasters, berserksgangr, and shamans, with animal skin hides, festooned with bones and fetishes. These things really ought to do something, you know? And they can't all be slotless items, so why not make them an element of the armor itself?
Critique's coming from me once I finish the Top 32.
Below is my entry:
Chrysalis Carapace
Aura strong abjuration; CL 14th
Slot armor; Price 65,800 gp; Weight 40 lbs.
Description
This +3 reflecting suit of full plate armor is sweet smelling, honey-tinted, and made from layers of the discarded cocoons of giant moths or gloomwings.Any creature worshiping a deity with a nature theme may add this armor to the list of armors in which she is proficient.
Three times per day the wearer can command the chrysalis carapace to form a split in the back with a loud cracking sound and sprout delicate looking butterfly wings. The wearer gains a fly speed of 40 feet (perfect) for 10 minutes. At the end of this duration, the wings furl back into the armor and the split seals itself.
Once per day the wearer can will the chrysalis carapace, as an immediate action, to force any one creature casting a spell to make a concentration check adding the wearer’s level to the DC. If the target fails the concentration check, the spell is lost to the caster and absorbed into the armor. Absorbing a spell in this manner causes the chrysalis carapce to open dozens of ragged slits and diaphanous, winged insects to pour out over the armor, granting the expeditious armor special ability for 1 hour.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, fly, spell turning; Cost 32,900 gpI already know I forgot to specify the range in the very last paragraph!
I saw this one a lot during the voting process and it never quite felt right for me. The cocoons as a visual for plate mail didn't register in my mind as good design choice. I actually like the idea of cocoons as armor, but felt that plate mail was too heavy of an armor type. I also felt the powers of steeling a spell to get a burst of speed was disjointed. I have a hard time seeing how those two things relate to each other and to the cocoon armor theme. So I think you have a great thematic idea, but I don't feel your powers were connected together enough to say this is a SuperStar item for me. I liked the spell steal, i liked the burst of speed, i liked the theme...I just didn't like them presented this way.
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I too will try to work my way through all the items in this thread and offer my opinions. I haven't read many of the other comments yet as I want to offer my initial impressions based on what I thought about the items during the voting. So pardon me if I repeat points from other comments.
More to follow later tonight. Now I'm off to a sauna.
Dirk of Treachery
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 18,302gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
The blade of this long, thin dirk appears black as night, and its hilt and crossguard are likewise unadorned and colorless. Invented by the cult of Father Skinsaw, and now favored by assassins and conspirators throughout the Inner Sea, this +1 keen dagger strikes deep when its victim is unaware of its presence. Against an opponent that is flanked, flat-footed, or denied its Dexterity bonus to AC, this weapon's enhancement bonus increases by +2.When attacking an opponent that had considered the weilder to be a friend or ally (GM's discretion), the dirk of treachery deals an additional +2d6 pecision damage. This additional damage is not doubled on a critical hit.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, disguise self, inflict moderate wounds; Cost 9,302 gp
I will be honest and say I was not a big fan of this one. I see it as a dagger to get an advantage when you turn on a current ally which is not good gaming to me. I recognize that at some tables it is perfectly acceptable to treat the other PC's as antagonists, but I prefer a game where everyone is working together so for that reason I didn't vote for this one often. I think mechanical it's okay, though one my pet peeves is "backstory/explanation" and you can cut "Invented by the cult of Father Skinsaw, and now favored by assassins and conspirators throughout the Inner Sea," and make your description better. You already noted some other things in your own evaluation. I want to say I liked the concept you were working on, the Brutus blade idea is pretty cool.
I know i jacked up the pricing by not including masterwork. Any feedback is great, thank you
Monastic Staff
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 8th
Slot none; Price 40,000 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
Description
This staff is crafted from smooth birch wood and topped with an ornate brass halo with six plain brass rings looped through it. For most, this staff functions as a simple walking stick or quarterstaff but in the hands of those who have harnessed the power of ki it enhances their natural martial prowess. For any user with a ki pool, it functions as +1 countering/+1 merciful quarterstaff and allows the use of the following spells as though they have a spell list that includes them:
Feather step (1 charge, self only)
Invigorate (1 charge, self only)
Blur (2 charges, self only)
Haste (3 charges, self only)
The monastic staff uses the class levels in any class that grants ki to determine the caster level of spells and the wielder's Wisdom stat for the spell save DC. A user can recharge this staff by meditating for one hour and expending 4 points of ki but is still limited to restoring one charge per day as per the normal staff rules.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Craft Staff, blur, cat's grace, cure light wounds, feather step, haste, invigorate; Cost 20,000 gp
I liked that this is a staff that can still be used as a weapon and I like the name of it. I can tell it is meant to e used by monks, but what didn't work for me was the selection of spells and the two different weapon enhancements. I couldn't match the theme of the weapon set by the name to those selections. This could have had any spells in it and still been called a monastic staff. For that reason it didn't always get an up vote, though it was executed fairly well (pricing needs work) so it often did.
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@Jaragil - Raven Leather: Already gave my main thoughts, but noticed in the other thread that Golspiral saw it as a similarity to Prince of Persia. It reminded me of Itachi's crows.
Skewer Shield
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 10th
Slot shield; Price 13,669 gp; Weight 6 lbs.
DescriptionThis +1 light steel shield has a raised band of metal arching over its center, creating a slot on the shield's front.
As a move action, a Skewer Shield's wielder may load it with a single light or one-handed melee weapon with which she is proficient. A Skewer Shield loaded in this way retains its normal armor bonus. The loaded weapon may not be used to make its normal attacks while it is loaded. Removing the loaded weapon is a move action.
So long as it is loaded with a weapon, treat a Skewer Shield as having shield spikes. The damage type and critical values for attacks made with a loaded Skewer Shield correspond to those of the loaded weapon. Any special abilities which would modify the loaded weapon's damage modify the Skewer Shield, instead. Attack bonuses from the loaded weapon have no effect on a Skewer Shield.
As a standard action, the wielder may launch the shield's loaded weapon to make a single ranged attack. For this attack, treat any loaded weapon as if it were designed to be thrown. The range increment of this attack is 20 ft. Feats and effects which apply to thrown weapon attacks apply to this attack.
A weapon launched from a Skewer Shield gains either the Returning or Anchoring special ability for 1 round. The choice is made before the attack roll. A returning weapon still requires a move action if its wielder wishes to reload the shield.
After launching a loaded melee weapon, a Skewer Shield provides no armor bonus until the wielder's next turn.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, telekinesis, versatile weapon; Cost 6,919 gp
This one fell into a pet peeve of mine, armors /shields are primarily for defending and I was not a big fan of the shields that gave offensive powers. I recognize that you are using the loaded weapons as shield spikes which in itself keeps with the theme of shields...but then you added the shooting them ranged and I felt that was a bit over kill. I was also not a fan of just adding a weapon to a shield, sort of felt like this was just a way to cheat and get more attacks each round with out the penalties of Two Weapon Fighting plus you get to keep your AC bonus plus you get a range attack with a melee weapon plus you can have it come back to you. If this was done but only let the user attach daggers, or just small weapons, and took out the range attack with the anchoring/returning powers I think this might have been a lot better.
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Acre, I think one of my PBP players really liked your armor, as he asked if I or another player were responsible for it.
Catapult Ring
Aura moderate evocation; CL 7th
Slot ring; Price 25,000 gp; Weight —
Description
Curled into a tight band, this tiny copper spring stretches to fit the wearer's finger.As a standard action, the wearer can touch a creature or unattended object on a solid surface and fling it in a direct line away from him. The target arcs 30 feet up and 60 feet away, taking damage from falling as normal. A willing target may be launched as long as it is adjacent to the wearer, while an unwilling target requires a melee touch attack. A willing target may make an Acrobatics check as if it were deliberately falling and can land on or grab hold of an elevated surface in its path. This movement does not provoke an attack of opportunity.
A target that hits an obstacle in its path takes 3d6 points of damage before falling to the ground in that square. The obstacle also takes damage, as if it were hit by a falling object. Any creature or object occupying the square in which the target lands takes damage as if hit by a falling object.
A catapult ring has six charges, which automatically renew each day. Launching a Medium or smaller target requires one charge; a Large or Huge target requires two charges; and a Gargantuan target requires three charges. The ring has no effect on Colossal targets.
Construction
Requirements Forge Ring, telekinetic charge; Cost 12,500 gp
This was easily my favorite ring and one of my favorite items s in the mix. I was surprised it didn't make the Top 32 so I suspect the judges saw something I didn't. I don't have any objective critique to give you and I don't want to speculate why the judges wouldn't have selected it. So I just say its a bummer you didn't advance and Good Job.
Monastic staff
You’ve got a version of “true powers are revealed when…” which is always a bit of a turnoff.I like the idea of using ki basically instead of spellcasting to power the staff, but I wonder if that might be a step too far as they’re not necessarily going to have any spell list so technically can’t use any of the spells. I think for me, though, the bigger thing was I wanted it to do something more. The central conceit was using ki as a power source, but other than that, it was still just a standard staff with the four basic spells. I think it needed to find a way to interact more with the ki, if that makes sense.
"allows the use of the following spells as though they have a spell list that includes them:"
My item was inspired by something I overheard at Pathfinder Society: “Nets don’t cause grapple.”
So I was all like…
Living Copperthread Net
Aura strong transmutation; CL 13th
Slot none; Price 54,320 gp; Weight 7 lbs.Description
Strong, copper threads reinforce the hempen rope of this +2 net. Four bronzed weights—two shaped like human hands and two shaped like human feet—are affixed to the corners of the net.Three times per day, a target struck by the net gains both the entangled and grappled conditions as the net comes to life and grabs them with its hand-shaped weights. The animated net and a creature grappled by it always occupy the same space until the target escapes, which shunts the net to an adjacent empty space. When this happens, the net stands, forms to a semi-humanoid shape, then continues chasing, attacking, grappling, and entangling only the original target. This continues until the target is defeated or one minute has elapsed from the time the net first struck.
While animated, a living copperthread net is treated as a Medium animated object except it gains DR 5/slashing, the additional attack and grab special abilities, a +10 inherent bonus to grapple checks made against its current target, and a +2 enhancement bonus to its slam attack. If the animated net becomes damaged below 0 hit points, it reverts to being an inanimate +2 net with the broken condition and cannot animate again until it is repaired.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, animate rope, vengeful outrage (Ultimate Magic); Cost 27,320 gp
I liked this one enough to vote for it several times. It has some flaws but I liked the idea behind it. The biggest problem I had was how am I supposed to use this once animated? As a DM I don't want to have to go look up another monster to find appropriate stats for things like the CMB and CMD so it might have been better to calculate those and put them in the description. This one inspires me to make a version with clawed hands I can give to goblins or kobolds who lie in wait.
Shield of Compassionate Radiance
Aura moderate conjuration and evocation; CL 5th
Slot shield; Price 9,420 gp; Weight 15 lbs.Description
A stylized longsword with golden sunburst radiating from the crossguard is emblazoned upon this +2 holy reliquary heavy steel shield.A wielder with the lay on hands class feature may imbue the shield with divine light as a standard action by expending one of her daily uses of lay on hands, or as a swift action by spending two daily uses. Doing so makes the shield shine brightly as a torch for one round per paladin (or equivalent class) level.
While the shield shines, any cure spell cast within the light heals 1 extra point or deals 1 extra point of damage to undead per d6 of the wielder’s lay on hands. This does not apply to spells cast from wands or scrolls.
If an ally within the light is subject to an effect or a spell that causes a condition cured by one of the wielder’s mercies and grants a saving throw, the wielder may extinguish the light as an immediate action to grant the ally a sacred bonus equal to the wielder’s current Charisma modifier to that saving throw. Only one ally may be aided in this way, even if multiple allies are affected by the same effect.
Any circumstance that would make the wielder lose her shield bonus extinguishes the light. The wielder may dismiss the light as a free action.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, bestow grace, light, sacred bond; Cost 4,795 gp
I liked this one a lot and it didn't fall directly into the trap of making the shield into a weapon that lots of the other designers fell into. I liked that it allows a Paladin to trade her lay on hands for helping others in the party in a unique way. Though I see way it can do damage to undead, I am not as keen on that part as I am on the helping boost other cure spells and the giving of a sacred bonus. When you indicate "within the light" I would suggest being specific with an actual radius. I am assuming that you mean 20 feet since it lights as a torch. The only question I have is how do effects like darkness spells affect the use of this shield?
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Marathon Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9
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Living Copperthread NetI liked this one enough to vote for it several times. It has some flaws but I liked the idea behind it. The biggest problem I had was how am I supposed to use this once animated? As a DM I don't want to have to go look up another monster to find appropriate stats for things like the CMB and CMD so it might have been better to...
\(^o^)/ Thanks for the critique.
I had the visual in my head of the player throwing the net with Beastiary 1 at the ready. I'm the kind of player that has all of my resources for any potential questions at the ready.
I guess Rules-as-intended for this net would dictate that the net acts as a summoned monster without actually BEING a summoned monster. It acts on the net-thrower's initiative with full priority in attacking the original target. It would be controlled by the player, but the net acts only as the rules allow it.
Matter of fact, one of the original drafts of this item has the phrase, "While animated, a Living Copperthread Net is treated as a SUMMONED Medium animated object except it gains...etc etc etc." My pit crew implored I remove the word "Summoned" due to the existence of spells that deal with summons.
Jailbird's Sweetheart
Aura moderate conjuration; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 7,002 gp; Weight 1 lb.Description
This dodgy-looking +1 adamantine dagger does double duty; with a lethally fine edge on one side of its blade and a coarse file on the other, it leaves equally ugly marks in flesh, bone, and steel. The dagger's thumb-breadth blade, along with its flat, guardless, black horn hilt, virtually begs to be concealed in a boot or a garter.The jailbird's sweetheart takes its name from its usefulness to frequent prisoners. Once per day, as a full action, the attuned owner can summon it from anywhere on the same plane by pulling it out from the keyhole of any lock; the blade vanishes from its former location as it slides through the keyhole, as though it were moving through a ring gate. The summoning fails (but isn't expended) if an intelligent creature is observing the weapon at its original location.
Attuning to a jailbird's sweetheart requires kissing it. Unhelpfully, no markings hint at this requirement.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, teleport; Cost 5,002 gp
I'm sorry to say I was not a fan of this one. It falls into the makes adventuring ease camp for me....rogue never needs to worry he can always find a key hole in his cell. I also felt the kissing it to attune it was silly, and if it begs to be concealed in a boot or garter why is it's power about being left at home and summoned though a key hole? This one just didn't work for me.
Matter of fact, one of the original drafts of this item has the phrase, "While animated, a Living Copperthread Net is treated as a SUMMONED Medium animated object except it gains...etc etc etc." My pit crew implored I remove the word "Summoned" due to the existence of spells that deal with summons.
I would not have liked it as a summoned monster...good call to listen to the pit crew on this one. With a rewrite I think this one has a lot of potential.
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RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32
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Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8
aka Cathara
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Ialready know a few of the places I've gone wrong but happy to hear peoples thoughts!
Harlequin’s Hurlbat
Aura Moderate Illusion and Transmutation; CL 7th
Slot None; Price 45,000; Weight 2 lb.
Description
A well balanced steel hurlbat bound in colorful ribbons that catch the eye, it creates a distinctive whistle as it spins through the air.
This +1 returning hurlbat feels most at home in the hands of a performer. The wielder can attempt a DC 15 Perform (juggle) check as a standard action and can maintain it as a move action on subsequent rounds. Activation conjures three +1 hurlbats each with a range of 30 feet and affects the wielder with a mirror image spell creating 1d4+2 illusory doubles.
The wielder can throw a conjured hurlbat as a standard action. A struck opponent takes damage normally and must make a DC 15 Will Save or be dazed for one round as the bright ribbons disorientate them. When all three conjured hurlbats are thrown or the performance ends the mirror image doubles and conjured hurlbats disappear.
This effect may be activated 3 times per day.
A bard wielding this weapon gains the martial weapon proficiency: hurlbat; and increases the save DC for any bardic performance using this weapon by +2.
Construction Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, abundant ammunition, daze, mirror image, telekinesis; Cost 22,500 gp
Weapon Trap Shield
Aura strong transmutation; CL 15th
Slot shield; Price 16,157 gp; Weight 10 lbs.
Description
Deep cracks and gouges mar the surface of this +3 heavy wooden shield, though the wood feels perfectly smooth and seamless to the touch.Whenever the wielder is subject to a melee attack which misses him by 5 or less (the protection provided by the shield), the weapon magically embeds into the wood and may become stuck. The wielder may make a disarm combat maneuver check against his attacker as a free action (without provoking an attack of opportunity), and if successful, the attacker loses his grip on the weapon, which remains stuck in the shield. As part of the disarm maneuver, the wielder may choose to deposit the weapon in any square he threatens, keep the weapon stuck to the shield, or wield the weapon himself if he has a free hand.
If the attack would not normally be subject to a disarm combat maneuver, such as a natural attack, unarmed strike, or manufactured weapon in a locked gauntlet, the wielder may attempt a grapple check instead without provoking an attack of opportunity), at no penalty. If successful, both the wielder and his attacker gain the grappled condition, but the wielder is free to use any one-handed weapon while grappling. The shield can only trap one weapon or creature at a time.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, polymorph any object; Cost 8,157 g
I actually liked this one and voted for it several times. I liked that you considered the natural attacks and other non disarm situations. I also liked how you could effectively steal their weapon and use it against them. Mark Seifter makes some good points and if you addressed them I think this could be a pretty awesome item.
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Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
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Well, here it is. My mistake was not researching this contest well enough to know what to avoid. I made a lot of big mistakes, but I humbly submit this to your attentions. I think my entry for next year will be a lot different.
Knife of the Consummate Chef
Aura strong varied; CL 15th
Slot None; Price 78,302 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
Crafted by a brilliant but ailing chef, this knife was designed to test and impart the skills of its creator to his pupil, ensuring his legacy. While the knife is meant to supplement and hone cooking skills, it is incidentally also very useful for combat when the right hands.
The knife functions as a +2 Adamantine dagger. In the hands of a wielder with at least one rank in a Profession related to food preparation*, the knife functions as a +3 Adamantine dagger that grants a +5 competency bonus to any Profession checks related to preparing food. It also exhibits additional powers dependent on the wielder's proficiency at cooking as noted on the table below. The wielder receives all of the powers for which they qualify.
1-3 ranks in cooking: Resist Fire 5 (Continuous)
4-6 ranks in cooking: Haste for ten rounds per day, as per boots of speed
7-9 ranks in cooking: DR/5 Bludgeoning (Continuous)
10+ ranks in cooking: Heroes' Feast once per week
The knife must be grasped for each ability to function.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Skill Mastery: Profession (Cooking*), Hero's Feast, Haste, Resist Elements, Stoneskin, Creator must have 10 ranks in the Profession skill*; Cost 39,151 gp
*It is left to the GM's discretion as to what skill qualifies for this item or its creation, but it is meant to be inclusive, though does not encompass skills that do not involve food preparation, nor any craft skills.
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The Mark Seifter train has no brakes it would seem.No human being could rate items at that speed. I'm just copy/pasting the ratings already given.
Have you not met Neil Spicer? :)
Ragathiel's Regalia
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 9th Slot Armor; Price 124,000 gp; Weight 25 lbs.Description
This +3 full plate has the holy symbol of ragathiel engraved on the chest plate. Like its namesake this armor combines two conflicting forces. In this case strength and flexibility into one, being made of both adamantine and mithral.
On command, it sprouts five fiery wings (producing light as the daylight spell) from the back and let the wearer fly (as spell). Useable six times per day for up to 5 minutes per use.
When worn by a paladin this is useable at will.
Construction Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, daylight, fly, creator must be good; Cost 74,750 gp
I will be honest and say I didn't like this one since it is just armor that lets you fly and heavy armor at that. Also I don't see strength and flexibility as conflicting forces. Sure if you have more than of one your less likely to have more of the other...but they don't directly oppose each other. This one just didn't work for me even though I liked your tie to Ragathiel.
RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32
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Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8
aka Jiggy
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Well, here it is. My mistake was not researching this contest well enough to know what to avoid. I made a lot of big mistakes, but I humbly submit this to your attentions. I think my entry for next year will be a lot different.
Knife of the Consummate Chef
Aura strong varied; CL 15th
Slot None; Price 78,302 gp; Weight 2 lbs.Description
Crafted by a brilliant but ailing chef, this knife was designed to test and impart the skills of its creator to his pupil, ensuring his legacy. While the knife is meant to supplement and hone cooking skills, it is incidentally also very useful for combat when the right hands.The knife functions as a +2 Adamantine dagger. In the hands of a wielder with at least one rank in a Profession related to food preparation*, the knife functions as a +3 Adamantine dagger that grants a +5 competency bonus to any Profession checks related to preparing food. It also exhibits additional powers dependent on the wielder's proficiency at cooking as noted on the table below. The wielder receives all of the powers for which they qualify.
1-3 ranks in cooking: Resist Fire 5 (Continuous)
4-6 ranks in cooking: Haste for ten rounds per day, as per boots of speed
7-9 ranks in cooking: DR/5 Bludgeoning (Continuous)
10+ ranks in cooking: Heroes' Feast once per weekThe knife must be grasped for each ability to function.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Skill Mastery: Profession (Cooking*), Hero's Feast, Haste, Resist Elements, Stoneskin, Creator must have 10 ranks in the Profession skill*; Cost 39,151 gp*It is left to the GM's discretion as to what skill qualifies for this item or its creation, but it is meant to be inclusive, though does not encompass skills that do not involve food preparation, nor any craft skills.
The nature of magic items in Pathfinder is that they are not unique; anyone who meets the requirements (or just has an uber Spellcraft skill) can make them. In a sufficiently large city, there's a good chance of any given item sitting on the shelf in a large market's stockroom. Therefore, your opening paragraph (which implies that this is a unique item) is an immediate red flag, as it suggests you don't understand the fundamental role of magic items in this particular ruleset. (This is similar to the issue with you describing your alledgely "magic weapon" entry—complete with a "Craft Magic Arms and Armor" requirement—as somehow being only "incidentally" useful as an actual weapon, like that's a side-effect of its true identity as a skill-related wondrous item.) I can't speak for anyone else, but whenever I would encounter a description like that, I stopped reading, for reasons I won't go into right now.
But perhaps just as big is the fact that you included an explanatory footnote outside of the item description itself. If the item requires extra explanation that can't fit in its statblock, its design needs to be rethought. That's a large part of why discussion or clarification of items on the messageboards (during voting) is grounds for DQ: the item needs to stand on its own. By adding that footnote, not only does your item not stand on its own, but you've literally announced that not even the author believes it can stand on its own.Now that all the harsh stuff is out of the way, I'm not against the idea of a kitchen-knife-based weapon. Being able to do something a little different for a weapon-user PC would be nice. So keep coming up with neat ideas like that. :)
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Marathon Voter Season 8
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Oh wow this thread got big while I was moving.
Here's my item, I will join in the reviewing of stuff soon.
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Scale of the Final King
Aura strong evocation; CL 12th
Slot shield; Price 80,000 gp; Weight 10 lbs.
Description
Appearing to be a single black scale of some incredibly large reptile, the Scale of the Final King has ten dull grey gemstones embedded along its edges. This functions normally as a +3 heavy steel shield until its bearer is struck by energy damage.
After at least 5 energy damage from any one source -- including negative energy -- is applied to the bearer after all adjustments, the gemstones transform to bright diamonds with energy trapped within. This gives the bearer resist 20 against that damage type. This transformation cannot occur again until ten rounds have passed, when the gemstones revert to their dormant state. The duration is not extended by further damage of the same type, and remains even if the shield is dropped or passed off.
The wearer can, as a full round action, expel all the stored energy of the gemstones in a violent explosion. This acts as the detonate spell with no delay, doing a number of d8s of the resisted energy type equal to the remaining rounds of resistance (which applies for the detonate effect). After the explosion, the shield loses its energy absorption abilities for a number of hours equal to the rounds of resistance expended.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, resist energy, detonate, death ward; Cost 40,000 gp