Staff of the Twinned Path
Aura moderate varied; CL 8th
Slot none; Price 26,600 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
Description
This seven-faceted crystalline staff is slightly flared at each end, encasing an adamantine weight that floats freely through an inner chamber. When the staff is used as a weapon, the weight shifts to the striking end just before impact. The staff allows the use of the following spells:
• Magic missile (1 charge)
• Shield (1 charge)
• Fireball (2 charges)
• Greater magic weapon (2 charges)
The staff of the twinned path is a +1/+1 quarterstaff, and whenever the wielder strikes a creature with the staff, he can expend one charge to spin the staff and make another attack with the other end as an immediate action. In addition, while wielding the staff as a weapon, the wielder is considered to have a free hand for the purpose of casting spells.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Craft Staff, fireball, greater magic weapon, magic missile, shield; Cost 13,300 gp** spoiler omitted **...
*Price/Cost don't match.
*The extras on this staff don't really mesh together or connect with the base spells in any meaningful way. They just seem separate and compartmentalized, like a SAK.
Cuirass of Distortion
Aura moderate conjuration; CL 9th
Slot armor; Price 43,165 gp; Weight 8 lbs.Description
The plates of this +2 lamellar cuirass appear to change color depending on the viewer’s orientation. Whenever the wearer is attacked, the armor distorts space around it, diverting blows through short-range portals. This displacement grants a 20% miss chance on all attacks against the wearer. In addition, if the attacker is within 30 feet of the wearer, attacks that miss due to this effect are redirected by the spatial distortions, hitting the attacker instead. The redirected attack automatically hits, but does not deal any critical hit or precision damage.Three times per day, instead of redirecting an attack, the wearer can redirect himself as an immediate action. The wearer is instantly transported to a space adjacent to the attacker and receives an attack of opportunity against the attacker. The attacker is considered flat-footed to the wearer for the purposes of this attack.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, dimension door; Cost 21,665 gp
*Compare this armor to a minor cloak of displacement. 39,000 vs 24,000. The armor isn't concealment, so its miss chance basically can't be negated by all the usual means that foil concealment. The armor forces all it's 20% misses to hit the attacker. And then the armor has a 3/day immediate action teleport and flat-footed retributive strike power.
*This thing is incredibly underpriced.
As some of you have asked, my entry is below. There is so much wrong with it in the cold light of day - I can tell you it all myself :(
a) fubarred pricing - I adjusted the price for a more comfortable feel in the positioning of the item with items of similar power but FORGOT to add back in the masterwork component part - gah!
b) "+2 breastplate" should have been italicized except for the "+", i.e. "+2 breastplate" - yup, even I miss things in the cold dark pre-dawn hours >.<
c) US comma missing in the lists in the text
d) the protection benefits of the elemental body spell series I cut as it felt too much, on reflection, it should have been left in * basically you gain the level IV spell benefits when in a single form, and only level III benefits once you had split form.
e) still way too wondrous in feel
f) reflective mirror like surfaces (sigh, I always hit the meme every year >.<)
g) There is a spell called simulacrum - so I should have tried alternate wording to that to avoid confusion.See, horrible, what was I thinking? Answer: I wasn't!
Energizing Breastplate
Aura strong abjuration and transmutation; CL 13th
Slot armor; Price 42,000 gp; Weight 30 lbs.
Description
This +2 breastplate has been lacquered with mercurial silver so that it shimmers with reflected light reminiscent of a liquid mirror.Once per encounter the breastplate captures a spell of level 3 through 9 which deals acid, cold, electricity, fire or sonic damage and is targeting the wearer. Damage to the wearer is halved as they are transformed into a featureless simulacrum of blue flame crackling with the energy of the triggering spell.
The first time the transformed moves they leave behind a second identical simulacrum. The transformed is deemed to occupy both when resolving attacks, but is affected just once by any single attack hitting both.
The transformed moves a single simulacrum each round. While both simulacrums are 30 feet or less apart from each...
*Once per encounter is already not a good start
*The wording, particularly the phrase "the transformed" is turgid.
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Kudzu Wrap
Aura Strong Transmutation; CL 13th
Slot Armor; Price 44,100 gp; Weight 5 lbs.Description
This suit of +3 Scale Mail looks and feels like a mass of writhing metal vines and leaves. The armor has a 10% arcane spell failure, maximum Dexterity bonus of +5, and an armor check penalty of -1 due to the constantly shifting vines that move out of the way to give better mobility but serve as a distraction to arcane casters, and counts as Light Armor. When not being worn, the Kudzu Wrap appears to be a single wooden leaf, though it is much heavier than a normal leaf.Donning the armor is done as a move action, and requires being able to put the leaf up to the wearer's chest, and the armor will grow around the wearer. The wearer can remove the armor by touching the leaf and thinking of a wooden leaf, or can say a command word which will cause the vines to explode outward. This explosion is enough to automatically break any nonmagical bonds around the armor or to break a grapple of any creature up to one size larger than the wearer. For any creature 2 size categories or more larger than the wearer, the Kudzu Wrap gives a +10 bonus to the grapple check. After speaking the command word, the armor is no longer worn, though the leaf stays attached to the wearer's chest until removed.
Druids may wear the Kudzu Wrap without penalty.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magical Arms and Armor, plant growth, transmute metal to wood, ironwood; Cost 27,050 gp
*Formatting and wording issues. Price/Cost don't match.
*OK, so I was following along. Sort of mithralish. Once again a wondrous little thing that lets you transform it into an armor. OK, continuing on to--wait, there's an explosion! Sweet Shelyn! And it ignores all hardness and hit points of your bonds and just automatically destroys them? It breaks grapples based on creature's size and not based on their CMD? It does something really confusing if the opponent is much larger than you are (my best reading indicates that the opponent grappling you gets a +10 bonus from the explosion, but that doesn't make any sense)?
Would like some feedback as well on my item.
Ring of Remembrance
Aura moderate transmutation and faint enchantment; CL 7th
Slot ring; Price 11,120 gp; Weight -Description
The simple silver band that is a Ring of Remembrance often escapes casual notice as if it wants to be forgotten. It is useful only to casters that prepare spells.
Once per day as a full round action, the ring allows the caster to retain any spell of 3rd level or lower that he had cast up to the previous round. However, the caster's memory of the spell is incomplete, causing the retained spell to fade if not cast within 1 hour.
Also, once per day, the ring can be used to directly influence the wearer's memory, allowing him to forget one of his prepared spells, opening the spell slot as if he had never prepared it.Construction
Requirements Forge Ring, Memory Lapse, Mnemonic Enhancer; Cost 5560 gp
*This is only the forgetting power more than a slotted version of pearl of power III with some time restrictions.
RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32
,
Champion Voter Season 6, Champion Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Champion Voter Season 9
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These were just my thoughts during voting:
Foe Stitcher - Unique item = down-check. Bad mechanics. Format issues. +2 silver rapier. Price/cost incorrect.
Pg 7 Complete
Ghost Moon Bow - Has a good kernal of an idea, but needed developed more. "Always knows the location" = makes adventuring easy. Format issues. Underpriced. Price/cost incorrect.
Sidereal Blade - Too many abilites that don't fit a theme: outsiders, ghost touch, pocket dimension, and teleportation. Mechanical and formatting issues. Underpriced. Price/cost incorrect.
Mithral Shirt of Concealment - Uninspired name. Didn't like description. Boring mechanics, not Superstar. Formatting issues. Price/cost incorrect.
Rings of Shared Power - There are many unintended consequences of this item. Poor mechanics.
Clangoring Chime
Aura moderate evocation; CL 9th
Slot: none Price 11,912 gp; Weight 6 lbs.
Description
This +1 thundering earthbreaker’s head is an ornately runed iron bell. Mounted on a stout wooden haft, the bell rings constantly in its owner's grip. In addition to the usual effects of a thundering weapon, when the wielder critically hits an enemy with the chime, a loud tone reverberates. This tone can be heard as a note created by the spell horn of pursuit.Once per day as a swift action, the clangoring chime can be charged with sound and vibrates in the wielder's hands. The next time the wielder hits a creature it emits a knell of force. The creature struck is targeted by a bull rush as a large creature with a CMB of +12. In addition a creature hit must succeed at a DC 16 Fortitude save or be deafened for 1 minute. If the wielder does not hit with a melee attack that round the charge dissipates. This is a sonic and force effect.
Any attempt to use the stealth skill while wielding a clangoring chime receives a -10 penalty. The chime may be stowed and muffled while not being used in combat. The chime may be used as a musical instrument with the Perform (Percussion) skill. The wielder cannot use the chimes activated power in an area of magical silence.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, blindness/deafness, shout; Cost 5,956 gp
*Price/Cost don't match. Mild wording issues.
*Unlike most of the other instrument weapons so far, this one actually has abilities that make it solidly a weapon, and all the parts fit together somewhat. I'm not that excited by them, but the author thought out the interactions.
Counter Shield
Aura Moderate abjuration; CL 8th
Slot Shield; Price 8170 gp; Weight 15 lbs.Description
This +2 heavy steel shield bears the embossed image of a turtle. Three times a day, when an enemy's melee attack hits you, the shields power can be activated as a free action. Instead of hitting you, the attack is redirected to any target of your choosing, but within the attackers reach. The attack automatically hits and deals damage to that target instead.
The enemy attacking you can not be the target of this redirected attack.Construction
Requirements Craft Armor Magic Arms and Armor, repel metal or stone; Cost 4170 gp
*Free actions don't work off turn, but I'll assume it's supposed to since otherwise the item isn't too useful (you had the words to mention it though).
*The automatic success and nonexistent action cost of this shield means that it will eventually become cost-efficient for a character to just buy a bunch of these and swap them out between turns once they've used all 3 uses.
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Wow, 300+ posts already.
Here's my item, which made it through both culls (Thank you to whoever voted for it), despite having a mistake in cost/price being transposed. My mistake, and I take full ownership of it, for not giving myself enough time to have it proofread by others before submission.
Vestment of the Twin Soul
Aura faint abjuration, conjuration (healing), divination and transmutation; CL7th
Slot armor; Price 22170 gp; Weight 18 lbs.Description
This +2 hide shirt is adorned with numerous tassels, pockets and pouches, to hold mementos of a creature at various stages in its life; locks of hair, moulted scales, baby teeth; and items it feels comfortable with, such as earth from its home, favourite food treats, trophies of its hunts, or well-loved toys.
These keepsakes strengthen the bond between a master and any kind of bonded partner, such as animal companion, familiar, or eidolon, allowing it to roam further afield, without fearing for its safety or pining for home.The effective distance of any empathic bond or shared senses is doubled, as is the range of any communication spell such as message.
The master is always aware of the distance and bearing to the bonded creature, as long as they are currently sharing senses within empathic range.An eidolon may venture twice the usual distance before suffering reductions to its hit points (see the Life Link ability), and the daily duration of the master's Bond Senses ability is doubled.
All bonded creatures and their masters may use the strengthened bond to protect each other. As long as they are within 100 feet of each other, either may spend a swift action to transfer 1d6 hit points of damage from their partner to themselves. This damage is not reduced in any way by damage reduction or energy resistances.
Construction Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, life conduit , unfetter, locate creature, crafter must possess an empathic bond with...
*Formatting and wording issues. Price/Cost don't match.
*This seems like some kind of mementoish wondrous item (in fact, it wouldn't make a terrible cameo ring, I suppose, for this year's types, although it feels more like a necklace or slotless to me) and not an armor.
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I learned that it was a mistake to make an expensive/end game item (I felt there wasn't many exciting late game items). I am looking for critiques beyond cost/level availability, etc. as I am hoping to improve my design skills (and not my poor "choosing of an area within the game to work" skills). I would like to thank everyone again last year that critiqued my "Taxonomist's Codex". I would also like to thank anyone that voted (up or down) or that looks my item over once more.
O-yoroi of the Eternal Flame
Aura strong evocation; CL 15th
Slot armor; Price 244,900 gp; Weight 45 lbs.Description
This continuously flaming +2 o-yoroi sheds light like a torch, and is warm to the touch. The armor takes no damage from fire and provides the wearer with 20 points of resistance to fire.As a swift action, the wearer can shroud himself in flames for one minute. The flames take the form of protective wings of fire that do not grant flight. While the flames are active, any creature attacking the wearer with natural or non-reach melee weapons takes 1d6 points of fire damage with each successful hit. Any creature within 10 feet of the wearer must make a DC 24 Reflex save each round to avoid taking 4d6 points of fire damage at the start of its turn.
Once per day as a full-round action, the wearer may benefit from a heal or greater restoration spell as cast by a 15th level cleric. Once this ability has been used, the armor loses the ability to shroud the wearer in flames for 24 hours.
Once per year, should the wearer be killed (by damage or a death effect) and the armor is not destroyed, the wearer’s remains immediately erupt in a fiery explosion resembling the form of a phoenix and deal 15d6 points of fire damage to all creatures in a 30 foot radius (Reflex DC 24 for half). The wearer is returned to life fully healed as if brought back to life via resurrection 1d4 rounds later. Once brought back to life in this manner, the wearer cannot...
*Price/Cost don't match, formatting issues
*Artifact level pricing, and not competent as an actual armor at the level you could afford that price
*An assorted grab-bag of phoenix powers.
I really don't know where I went wrong here. I know the Cost is off because I forgot how to cost magical armor; I know I survived the cull so I'm not a complete idiot, but seem to have made nobody's keep lists. Too obscure a rules component, maybe?
Freebooter's Longcoat
Aura faint transmutation and enchantment; CL 4th
Slot armor; Price 9050 gp; Weight 10 lbs.Description
Using a mithral chain underlay as opposed to the metal plates of most armored coats, this +1 mithral armored coat was designed to appease marauding ship captains and their eagerness to pillage other ships. This armor is treated, in all ways, like light armor, including when determining proficiency. When boarding an enemy ship, the wearer of this armor is not considered flat-footed, and may make a single charge attack against a target of her choice as part of the boarding action.Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, bladed dash, tactical acumen; Cost 4525 gp
*If I'm the one boarding, why would I be disallowed from charging someone in my charge range?
*The flat-footedness when boarding another ship seems to live in the relatively-obscure Skull and Shackles Player's Guide. Especially given that isn't in the Pathfinder RPG line, not mentioning that referent is likely to leave most readers, including this judge, bewildered.
Dagger of Dretch Dominion
Aura moderate conjuration [evil] and evocation; CL 6th
Slot none; Price 12,500 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
Crafted entirely from cold iron, this dagger features several small, sharp barbs along its slightly curved blade. Tiny but foul, Abyssal writing, etched into the iron, circles around the hilt, providing traction and insight into the dagger’s purpose. Lastly, a faint smell of acrid sweat exudes from the weapon.The dagger functions as a +2 cold iron dagger, but shows its true power when demons, especially dretches, are called to service. Wielding the dagger gives you a +4 bonus on all Charisma checks when dealing with dretches, this bonus is reduced to +2 while interacting with other demons. Unruly dretches can easily be dispatched, as the dagger always deals full damage to them.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, summon monster III (dretch); Cost 6,250 gp
Boring check bonus against demons/dretches.
I am relegated to posting from my phone.
Thank you, Thunderfrog, for your honest critique. I'm already beginning to craft some new stuff for next year. ^.^ Paying special attention to visuals, as well as functionality!
Which one was yours, Brigg? =/
Corpse Thicket Javelin
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 4th
Slot none; Price 5000 gp; Weight 1 lbs.
Description
While some battlefields may be dotted with rust and decay, druids mark their victories with new growth. This +1 wooden javelin is made of still living wood. Upon wounding creature, the javelin begins to take root and will begin to deal 1d6 damage per round for 2d4 rounds. While this occurs, the javelin begins to root into their flesh and grow around their body, causing the creature to gain the entangled condition. A creature may make a Strength check (DC 16) to free themselves from being entangled, but the javelin is still rooted in them unless it is pulled out, which deals 1d4 damage for each round it grew. The javelin will only grow if it enters the flesh of a corporeal creature. After growing, the javelin becomes a young tree, 3 feet tall. A creature, Large or smaller, that has let the javelin complete its growth gains the exhausted condition and now is carrying an additional 10 lbs.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, entangle; Cost 2500 gp
*Formatting and wording issues. Price/Cost don't match.
*Normally a javelin is a reusable thrown weapon, but this one looks like it's one shot, since it turns into a young tree. It's pretty overpriced in that case.
Ghastly Plate
Aura Moderate transmutation; CL 8th
Slot Armor; Price 25930 gp; Weight 25 lbs.
Description
This +1 ghost touch breastplate (agile) is constantly giving off faint eerie light. It is crafted by enchanting an armor taken from a corpse of a slain enemy.
The wearer of the armor can 3 times per day imbue his held weapons as though they had ghost touch ability for 8 rounds.
Additionally as long as the armor is worn the user appears as a ghostly image of himself similar to the spell ghostly disguise but without a Will save to disbelieve, only the armor appears normally.
Construction
Requirements Craft magic Arms and Armor, Ghostbane dirge Cost 13240gprip it apart as you please
*The basic powers are a +4 equivalent (16000 gp), and the extras are worth far more than an additional +1, since they include a constant 2nd level spell with no save and extra weapon enhancements, the latter of which is also odd for an armor.
*The 3/day ghost touch lacks an activation type/action.
Rod of Eldritch Horror
Aura strong conjuration ; CL 18th
Slot none; Price 84,000 gp; Weight 6 lbs.Description
These warped and jagged rods are fashioned from long splinters of blackened coral and are usually encrusted with fragments of broken shellfish. A rod of eldritch horror functions as a +1 seaborne light mace, and is often carried by the darkest nightmares and the deepest denizens of the sea.
When the wielder of a rod of eldritch horror conjures a single creature with any summon monster or summon nature's ally spell, he may choose to imbue the summoned creature with the hideous power of an ancient and terrifying sunken city.
A creature summoned in this way gains a +4 profane bonus to strength and constitution and changes its alignment to chaotic evil. The creature grows 1d3+1 slime covered appendages, each of which can make a tentacle attack as a primary attack. The creature gains spell resistance equal to 10 + the level of summoning spell used to summon the creature + the creature's modified constitution bonus.
In addition, once per day, a creature summoned by a rod of eldritch horror gains the Horrific Appearance ability of an Augnagar Qlippoth. (PFRPG Bestiary 2)
Whenever a creature is summoned using this rod, there is a 5% cumulative chance that instead of the selected creature, a Gibbering Mouther is summoned adjacent to the wielder. The Gibbering Mouther cannot be dispelled, acts immediately and attacks its summoner until it is destroyed or the summoning duration expires. This chance is reduced by 5% for each 24 hour period the rod is not used to augment summoned creatures.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Craft Rod, contact other plane, freedom of movement, plane shift, touch of the sea; Cost 42,000 gp
-----------------------------------------------
Things I would do different.
1. Lower word count by removing a few superfluous descriptions.
2. Remove the reference to the Qlippoth. People don't like...
*The SR being based off an ability score is non-standard and lead to unbeatable SR. SR is never based on ability scores.
*Random failure chances or charts are generally not Superstar, and in this case, it's really expensive for an incredibly powerful boost (a stacking Augment Summoning, an average of 3 extra primaries, even though tentacles are usually secondary, that SE, and the horrific appearance) with a random chance of an at-this-point low CR monster attacking you and wasting your turn. It doesn't give much advice about what to do if your angel becomes CE either.
Dreaming Star
Aura strong illusion (shadow); CL 17th
Slot ring; Price 50,000 gp; Weight —
Description
Coalesced from purest ether, shining with a flickering multi-hued corona of palest starlight, a dreaming star resembling a constantly transforming gemstone, rests in a delicate and intricate ring setting reminiscent of the night sky, which channels its unfettered power.The wearer of a dreaming star may once per day, upon command, evoke from herself or a willing or unconscious subject, whom she can touch, a dream or fantasy which she forces into reality.
For a number of minutes equal to the wearer’s charisma score the evoked fantasy manifests as if created via shades used to emulate create demiplane. Individuals, details, and items within the dream are as if created with persistent image, with the exceptions of adding tactile sensory feedback and operating as they would in the dream rather than to a script.
The wearer of a dreaming star may as a full round action choose to destroy the star while it is manifesting a dream so as to allow her to select one item or person from that fantasy and grant them a permanent form. Items created by this use of a dreaming star may not have a sale value greater than that of the star. Individuals created thus are as created by Simulacrum using the bearer’s level as caster level, with the exception that they maintain their own free will and are only as loyal to the bearer of the star as they were in the dream that created them.
This use of the dreaming star immediately ends any dream or fantasy currently manifested by the star.
Construction
Requirements Forge Ring, persistent image, shades, simulacrum; Cost 25,000 gpAny critique or commentary is welcome.
*Slight formatting issues.
*I like the way this item's abilities worked together, and it's one of the few items that destroys itself in such a way that I can believe that someone would want to do so.
*Minutes based on Charisma score is weird and seems pointless (why not just save words and make it 10 minutes then?)
*Fairly good limitations on the break power, but the item created shouldn't have a sale price lower than the star's cost instead of its price.
*I could go either way here.
*Sooooo...your deepest fantasies become reality?
*It's oddly specific, and has the potential for making a lot of people uncomfortable at the game table.
*Ability score name isn't capitalized, and certainly feels underpriced for what it does. Follows formatting guidelines.
*The abilities are more on par with a minor artifact, not a magic item.
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RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32
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Champion Voter Season 6, Champion Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Champion Voter Season 9
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These were just my thoughts during voting:
Fraud's Rod - Retread of previous years submissions. Solid item, not Superstar. Underpriced.
Broken Gambit Shield - On my DVF list. No such thing as a +0 wooden buckler, using non-PF rules = down-check. No specific weight. Different name of item in entry. Formatting issues. Price/cost incorrect. Too many flaws to waste time on, definitely not Superstar.
Pg 8 Complete
Coiling Poison Staff - Nice description. History = down-check. Too restricted. Mechanical issues.
Caught Up
Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9
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Rod of Gravity
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 13th
Slot -; Price 75,800 gp; Weight 10 lbs.
Description
This squat, dense rod is crafted from a blue metal with platinum arrows curving along its side culminating in a swirling point at its end. While a creature holds a rod of gravity she doubles the result of any Acrobatics check made to jump. All items she carries weigh half as much. When falling she only takes 1d6 points of damage for every 20 feet fallen.
Once per day the rod of gravity can be driven into sand, mud or loose earth as a move action, into dense soil or loose gravel as a standard action, or into stone or harder materials as a full-round action. Once anchored the rod creates a gravity sphere in a 30 foot radius centered on the rod; the type of sphere, high, light or no gravity, must be chosen when the rod of gravity is activated and cannot be changed while the rod is active. If anchored to a wall or ceiling the rod of gravity instead changes the direction of gravity in a 130 foot cube to fall towards the rod in a similar fashion to reverse gravity.
Furthermore any spellcaster in the area attempting to cast a spell that effects gravity, encumbrance, or creates flying effects such as ant-haul, feather fall, fly, gravity sphere, reverse gravity or lead blades must attempt a caster level check (DC 17) or lose the spell.
Removing the rod from the ground and deactivating it requires the same type of action as anchoring it.
Construction
Requirements Craft Rod, ant haul, dispel magic, gravity sphere, reverse gravity; Cost 37,900 gp
Lash of Wild Roses
Aura moderate conjuration; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 19,201 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
The Lash of Wild Roses was created with the intent to capture or dissuade aggressors to the woodland realms and glows when wielded. The handle is carved from the living root of a rose bush, with thorny vines woven together forming the length of the whip. It functions as a +1 whip.
With a successful attack, the Sylvan word for “bind” causes one of the vines to separate and entangle the target as if they were in the area of effect of the Entangle spell. A successful DC15 Reflex save allows half movement, as normal, but the only way to escape the vine is with a DC15 Strength or Escape Artist check. Note that the vine is covered in thorns, doing 1 point of damage for each time either save is failed. The target can choose to decline the saves and avoid the thorn damage.
Once per day, the wielder can say “take root” in Sylvan and take a standard action to strike the ground within the whip’s range to cause a large rose bush to grow instantly, as per the spell Wall of Thorns, though it creates only a single living rose bush that fills a 10’ cube. This power will not work if used on stone or other nigh impenetrable surface, and those with Woodland Stride are unaffected as normal. Provided it receives nourishment, the bush is permanent.
The whip handle must be placed in water for ten minutes at least once a week, or it hardens and dies.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Entangle, Wall of Thorns; Cost 9,751 gp, and one living rose bush.
*Formatting and wording issues.
*For the first ability, what's the action? Is that on every hit? How do you determine if the target leaves the area? It seems like it might follow them everywhere. If it follows them everywhere, then it's not rooted to the ground. If it's not rooted to the ground, it doesn't hold them in place. And in any case, if you make the save on entangle, the author says it's "as normal," but normally you would be walking on difficult terrain and that's it (while the item implies that you remain entangled, which is not normal).
*For another "as normal" that doesn't match normal, woodland stride doesn't let you through a wall of thorns normally.
*Good name, but abilities are underwhelming.
*The way the abilities are presented make them harder to understand than it should be.
*Item name it capitalized and not italicized in the text. Spell names are capitalized, not italicized. Missing space between "DC" and the number. Being able to create permanent walls of thorns makes this item very underpriced.
*Name doesn't meet expectations, pricing and mechanical issues.
Well I thought my entry wasn't half bad for something I typed up on my iphone during a curry with my gaming group. Would very much appreciate a less biased opinion than my own on the subject. Thank you in advance to anyone who takes the time to review my entry.
Foe Stitcher
Aura Moderate Conjuration; CL 9th [Price 15,000 gp; Weight 2 lbs.Description
According to legend this weapon once belonged to a cruel fey queen.
This oversized needle counts as a +2 silver rapier. Whenever Foe Stitcher deals piercing damage to an enemy, it creates a silver thread that connects the weapon to its victim. This thread counts as invisible except to the wielder of Foe Stitcher or those under the effect of See Invisibility or an equivalent and possesses a maximum length of 200ft. The thread possesses hardness 5 and 12 hp, it can be cut through by the usual means or with a dc 25 strength check.Any enemy inflicted with a silver thread can be subject to a Drag maneuver at range as a Standard action. This can be modified with feats as per the Drag maneuver.
Whenever a second enemy is damaged with Foe Stitcher, the first enemy damaged becomes subject to a ranged drag attempt as a free action. Treat the second enemy as the one initiating the drag maneuver for moving the first enemy. Enemies affected by this ability cannot move farther away from each other than the distance they were apart when the ability was used, without first breaking the thread connecting them. Subsequent drag attempts by the wielder continue to target the first enemy struck. Only two enemies can be effected by this ability at once. If enemies would be dragged into adjacent squares as a result of this ability they are sewn together, which causes them to count as entangled in addition to the restricted movement.Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Animate Rope, Chain of Perdition
Cost 7,500gp
*Formatting and wording issues. Price/Cost don't match.
*Why does the free drag attempt use the first enemy's CMB? The first enemy isn't putting any effort into dragging the second enemy.
*There sure are a lot of items that trail thread or cords this year.
*I kind of like the idea of tying two enemies together, but the negatives outweigh, and in any case, pricing these extra powers less than a +1 equivalent is way too low.
Ghost Moon Bow
Aura moderate conjuration; CL 12th
Slot none; Price 36,000 gp; Weight 3 lbs.Description
This +1limning ghost touch long bow looks to be made of pearl and is intricately carved with symbols of hunting and stalking. It glows with the same ghostly silvery light that it outlines its targets with. It allows the wielder to cast faerie fire three times a day. In addition, once the bow has outlined a target through either its faerie fire or limning[/1] ability the bow’s wielder always knows their location, and can target them. The arrows ignore all cover including full cover, concealment, and solid walls. Arrows fired at an outlined target are treated as incorporeal except they can move completely through solid objects larger then themselves. The arrows count as an incorporeal attack for purposes of ignoring armor bonuses. These arrows cannot go through [i]walls of force or similar force effects.Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, faerie fire, true strike, plane shift; Cost 18,000 gp
*Formatting and wording issues. Price/Cost don't match.
*Since it can harm undead and constructs and it ignores all cover and concealment, this bow is equal or slightly better than brilliant energy (if you didn't need to tag the foe once first each round or with a standard action to get that effect, it would be leaps and bounds better). But a +1 limning ghost touch brilliant energy long bow costs over 98,000 gp.
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Sidereal Blade
Aura strong evocation; CL 14th;
Slot none;Price 24,250; Weight 4lbs.Description
Of extra-planar make, a sidereal blade carries a series of crystal runes along the surface of the blade representing the line of heavenly bodies in the solar system. A sidereal blade performs as a +1 ghost touch longsword and does double damage vs outsiders. Developed for use across the Great Beyond, a sidereal blade can be placed in a pocket dimension as a free action and then withdrawn by the wielder at any time or place by visualizing the runes of the blade as a move action.Once per round, on a successful hit, a sidereal blade opens a dimension door that throws the opponent back 10ft in the opposite direction of the wielder; a DC 20 Will save negates the effect. On a critical hit, the wielder chooses whether to triple the distance of the [/i]dimension door[/i] or change the target destination to any square within 15ft.
Once per day, a sidereal blade slices between the planes opening a dimension door with a range of 200ft.
Construction
Requirements craft magic arms and armor, plane shift, dimension door, creator must be neutral; Cost 12,500Have at it.
*So the thematic ties on the item's abilities fit, but there's a bunch of problems.
*Cost/Price are off and some formatting issues
*A weapon that completely doubles all damage against some foes is not something we do in Pathfinder and a bad design decision.
*The imprecise wording and particular passive voice lead to some ambiguities with each each of the abilities and how exactly they work. Here's the biggest one: Due to passive voice and the placement of the word wielder (combined with the fact that clearly while it's in a pocket dimension, no one is wielding it), it seems like if I'm an unscrupulous merchant, I can totally sell you this blade and then keep imagining it as a move action, hoping you placed it in a pocket dimension at some point so I can call it to me again and sell it to someone else.
Hey Guys this was my entry. Please make me feel the learn!
Mithral Shirt of Concealment
Aura[b/] Faint Illusion and Transmutation; [b]CL 5th
Slot Armor; Price 21,800 gp; Weight 10 lbs.Description
At first glance this well-polished silver mithral shirt is just like any other - light and shiny. But if the shirt is gazed upon for a short period of time, it will appear to fade away and then return.When activated the wearer of this+2 mithral chain shirt becomes surrounded by magic that makes their presence virtually undetectable and increases their speed. Those that are nearby notice nothing more than a light breeze picking up some leaves and dust.
Once a day for three rounds the character benefits from invisibility, gains 30 to her base speed, may make one additional standard action per round, and becomes inaudible as if the spell silence had been cast except that the effect only extends to the wearer and everything within one foot of her. If the wearer makes an attack or directly threatens any creature, all of the effects created by this ability end.
A character who wears the shirt gains a +5 competence bonus to Stealth and a +1 dodge bonus to AC and Reflex saves. If the character loses her Dexterity bonus to Armor Class, she also loses the +1 bonus to dodge.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, haste, invisibility, silence Cost 10,900 gpOh and I've never been a part of this before so please if you comment please let me know so I can find it. I suppose if there is tool in place for that already then I bet I just sounded silly.
*Formatting and wording issues. Price/Cost don't match.
*What's the activation on the 1/day power? You know what, it doesn't matter, since it grants a standard action, so even if it costs a standard action, it immediately pays it back. Granting standard actions is bad. We don't want everyone to stockpile copies of this armor at high levels.
So, before I post my item, I read during the contest that the entire point of my item is a common "no no". So in general I'd kinda like to know why that is, besides the specific critique of this item.
Rings of Shared Power
Aura Moderate Evocation; CL 8th
Slot Ring; Price 35000 gp; Weight -Description
Rings of shared power are a pair of rings, each made of gold and silver entwined, and cherished by close comrades. When worn, these rings allow two willing allies to share their power with each other. Each chooses a single class feature and transfers it to the other. If the class feature normally allows access to multiple abilities, one of them must be chosen. For instance, bardic performance can give inspire courage or fascinate. Each wearer calculates uses per day, DC, and other effects of the ability as if she had a number of levels in the class required equal to half her total level, or the level of the original bearer of the ability, whichever is lower, and using her pertinent ability modifiers. If only part of a class feature was given, such as a single bardic performance, uses per day are determined by the one giving the ability choosing how many uses per day to keep to use for other abilities, and how many are transferred. Spells may be shared, but only a single casting of a single spell. If a prerequisite ability is traded away, that person does not lose access to later abilities.The rings only function as long as the bearers are within 1000 feet of each other and each is still living. If one of the bearers dies, or if the bearers go further than 1000 feet from each other they lose access to the ability they gained from the other. Abilities traded away always return at dawn, and cannot be regained before then.
Construction
Requirements Forge Ring, Imbue with Spell Ability, must be created by two casters working in tandem; Cost 17500 gp
*Formatting and wording issues.
*These rings seem like big trouble, particularly with abilities where level doesn't matter. Something like a sorcerer with a level 2 paladin follower hiding 1000 feet away (who traded the sorcerer divine grace) is just the tip of the iceberg.
I found out midway through voting that I didn't do my homework and a very similar item made it through in a past year. Still, I'd like to see what people thought.
Fraud's Rod Aura Faint Divination; CL 9th Slot none; Price 5800 gp; Weight 5 lbs. Description This gold-painted wooden roller for a scroll grants the user a +5 competence bonus to Use Magic Device checks to decipher or activate any scroll wrapped around it. Wrapping a scroll around the fraud's rod is a standard action that provokes attacks of opportunity and when wrapped in this way the scroll can be read and used normally. Once per day the bearer of the fraud's rod may attempt a Use Magic Device check to activate the first spell on a scroll wrapped around the rod without wielding the rod. The rod must still be in the user's possession but otherwise the skill check is made normally. If the user successfully activates the scroll, he appears to observers to cast the spell himself with innate spell casting power using appropriate verbal and somatic components. If the spell would normally require a material or focus component, observers may realize the deception with a DC 20 + spell level Spellcraft check. Construction Requirements Craft Rod, read magic, 5 ranks in Use Magic Device; Cost 2900 gp
*This is extremely similar to a Top 32 item from last year and a whole little slice of other items and abilities.
Apparently got booted by the cull, which is just fine. People's opinions on my item would be more than welcome.
Broken Gambit Shield
Aura moderate enchantment; CL 5th
Slot shield; Price 10,750 gp; Weight 5-10 lbs.
Description
This pathetic, broken +0 wooden buckler fools enemies into thinking the wearer an easy target. It has the broken condition while first worn (with an effective shield bonus to AC of +0). However, when the wearer is first struck in battle, the true nature of the shield’s ruse emerges. Each time the wearer is successfully hit by a melee attack (whether or not said attack does damage), the Broken Victim’s Shield grows in size and splendor, increasing its enhancement bonus by +1 up to a maximum of +3. The shield loses the broken condition after the first successful attack, gains the Impervious armor special ability and is treated as a heavy wooden shield upon reaching a +3 enhancement bonus.Furthermore, for each and every attacker, after having successfully hit the wearer, must make a DC 15 Will saving throw in order to disengage from combat with the wearer as the urge to kill the wearer overcomes all sense. This is a mind-affecting effect. This save may be made each turn after the first while the attacker is still engaged in melee combat. The mind-affecting effect ends if the wearer withdraws or moves away from combat with the attackers, but the shield retains its enhancement bonus. Enemies may only be affected once per day but any new enemies that attack the wearer must save against the shield’s enchantment.
The Broken Victim’s Shield uses its abilities in one combat per day and reverts back to its initial broken state at the end of the combat in which it was used.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Amor, Compel Hostility (UC), Make Whole, creator must have 5 ranks in Bluff; Cost 5,375 gp
*Formatting and wording issues. Price/Cost don't match.
*Item name changes in the entry.
*This works in "one combat per day," which is rather unspecified. If I keep pulling enemies from other rooms, is that still the same combat?
*When it becomes a heavy wooden shield, do I start needing to hold it in my hand and take up the whole hand (as opposed to light).
*It says "treated as" but doesn't really specify for what purpose, so I assume all purposes.
Mark, thanks for doing this. Here's my item.
Coiling Poison Staff
Aura moderate conjuration and faint necromancy; CL 10th
Slot none; Price 56 560 gp; Weight 5 lbs.Description
This staff is made from bones of beheaded reptiles, wrapped in snakeskin, and topped with an emerald nested inside a serpent's skull. The staff is believed to have been wielded by high ranking followers of Ydersius as a symbol of deity's favor and communion. The staff allows use of the following spells:• Accelerate Poison (1 charge)
• Poison (1 charge)
• Constricting Coils (2 charges)
• Summon Monster V (emperor cobra only) (3 charges)The staff's full potential is realized only in the hands of a cleric with scalykind domain or a sorcerer with serpentine bloodline. In such hands, the staff grants its wielder immunity to poisons or delays poisons' effects, if already present in the wielder's system, until cured. Additionally, wielder's attacks are accompanied by threatening hisses from the staff and upon making a successful touch or bite attack the wielder can spend one charge, as a free action, to immediately apply the effects of pernicious poison spell on the same target.
Construction
Requirements Craft Staff, accelerate poison, constricting coils, delay poison, pernicious poison, poison, summon monster V, creator must have scalykind domain or serpentine bloodline; Cost 28 280 gpI can already tell it lost bunch of votes just because it's class specific but I wanted to take the risk. Too bad it didn't pay off but it survived the cull at least. :-)
*Formatting and wording issues.
*Price is insufficiently above the base spells for the extra abilities.
*Granting extras to the wielder's bite is really odd for a staff; would have been more thematic to have the snake head of the staff deliver the bite.
Rod of Gravity
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 13th
Slot -; Price 75,800 gp; Weight 10 lbs.
Description
This squat, dense rod is crafted from a blue metal with platinum arrows curving along its side culminating in a swirling point at its end. While a creature holds a rod of gravity she doubles the result of any Acrobatics check made to jump. All items she carries weigh half as much. When falling she only takes 1d6 points of damage for every 20 feet fallen.
Once per day the rod of gravity can be driven into sand, mud or loose earth as a move action, into dense soil or loose gravel as a standard action, or into stone or harder materials as a full-round action. Once anchored the rod creates a gravity sphere in a 30 foot radius centered on the rod; the type of sphere, high, light or no gravity, must be chosen when the rod of gravity is activated and cannot be changed while the rod is active. If anchored to a wall or ceiling the rod of gravity instead changes the direction of gravity in a 130 foot cube to fall towards the rod in a similar fashion to reverse gravity.
Furthermore any spellcaster in the area attempting to cast a spell that effects gravity, encumbrance, or creates flying effects such as ant-haul, feather fall, fly, gravity sphere, reverse gravity or lead blades must attempt a caster level check (DC 17) or lose the spell.
Removing the rod from the ground and deactivating it requires the same type of action as anchoring it.
Construction
Requirements Craft Rod, ant haul, dispel magic, gravity sphere, reverse gravity; Cost 37,900 gp
*Yet another gravity item.
*Is the 130 foot cube supposed to be 30 foot?
*Using gravity rules without a cite is really problematic for most people to find and use.
*The price seems high too.
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I saw the name and expected something to do with rocks and caves, not mud. The powers are in a direct conflict with established dwarven norms and expectations. I think that the imagery (which is not all that evocative as written) would have to be fantastic to overcome that conflict.
Thanks Feros for the critique. You are correct in that is was for dealing with caves and mud. As a person who does explore caves, I can assure you that as written it would be amazingly awesome for that.
I can also say that the fundamental flaw was being "too close" to the source material, as it were. If I were to re-submit it, it would be designed for Pathfinder-caves and not real world-caves.
Live and learn.
Foe Stitcher
Good: Mostly well-written, a bizarre and very cool item. I love the thematic of stitching people together. I also like the use of the Drag CM as it rewards people who have invested in these feats.
Bad: The only criticisms I have are the Price/Cost was just halved rather than actually worked out properly, and there are some issues with incorrect or absent capitalization and formatting. It could be a little underpriced, but considering its niche and the fact that its made of silver (most players would consider that far from optimal) I wouldn't have priced it too much higher.Overall: Was one of my favorites. I really liked this one. It does malevolent things that I would enjoy messing with as a GM or a player ;)
Freebooter's Longcoat
Good: The visuals are neat. Well-written and good clarity of concept.
Bad: Doesn't really have a lot of 'oomph'. The Price/Cost you've already noticed. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think mithral normally makes the armor count as a lower category for proficiency. This is effectively a limited use of the Medium Armor Proficiency feat, and needed a bit more explanation to justify how the armor grants this boon.Overall: I actually upvoted this a lot. The problem, for me, is that it was one of about 5 items I saw that had specifically nautical caveats. I found myself wondering how I would ever use this item in a game, even a nautical game, that didn't involve a lot of ship-to-ship combat to make the armor really worthwhile.
Page 3:
RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32
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Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka mamaursula
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Here's mine... I have some thoughts on what could have been improved but it'll be good to see whatever feedback is out there.
Chakram of Cyclic Existence
I might have some strong feelings on divine power, sorry this was so harsh. This is just a very dangerous design space because Paladins and Clerics who turn their backs on their deities do not remain in favor and lose their divine powers, like casting spells, laying on of hands or channeling.
The Pen of Mirado
Good: It has great flavor.
Bad: It references Bardic Knowledge as a check, which doesn't exist in Pathfinder; they changed how that class feature works for bards. Speaking as someone who has played with a medieval stylus, I find it hard to believe that it could ever be used to deal slashing or bludgeoning damage, even if you poked them with the blunt end.Overall: I think some research into Pathfinder RPG's class mechanics for bards would have been useful before submitting it :)
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Just want to thank JJ Jordan, Kreniigh, Thunderfrog, and Feros for the kinds words and welcome insights on Springheart. I'll definitely be spending additional time on mechanics next year!
*Formatting and wording issues.*For the first ability, what's the action? Is that on every hit? How do you determine if the target leaves the area? It seems like it might follow them everywhere. If it follows them everywhere, then it's not rooted to the ground. If it's not rooted to the ground, it doesn't hold them in place. And in any...
I intended for the entangle aspect to not be rooted to the ground, so no immobility or range of effect. It would work especially well against fliers. As it doesn't need to do damage (no damage against armor, avoiding the saves to avoid thorn damage), things could get out in a couple rounds, I felt a time limit was unnecessary. If they struggle, they either get free, or take damage and a penalty, if not, they're nicely bound.
As a side, did you note that it creates a single living bush, 10x10x10, not the full wall? I should have found a spell that was more thematically appropriate, but wall of thorns fit the mechanic I was going for. Woodland stride through a Wall of Thorns, perhaps not. That is why I specified it was a living bush, so those with woodland stride "may move through any sort of undergrowth (such as natural thorns, briars, overgrown areas, and similar terrain) at her normal speed and without taking damage or suffering any other impairment."
My old DM applied it to the Wall as well, but I can see where that was their interpretation.
Thank you for the notes! Obviously I obfuscated my clarity with excess verbosity. ;)
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And now, for Page 2 (I needed sleep)
RIFTCARVER BOW: Love the visual design… unfortunately not the mechanics :(
* On one hand, trip attacks at range would be handy. On the other hand, the item needs to spell out how this happens; is it just using CMB vs CMD?
* The ground breaker power is cool, but could use describing straight-up what it does: create difficult terrain in the target square and all adjacent.
* The interplay of using ranged trip vs ground breakers is messy. If I make two successful trips, how many groundbreakers can I use? The item states "Alternatively", indicating that it's one or the other, rather than "Additionally", which would indicate the abilities have separate uses/day.
* I'd actually suggest something like restricting the trip to the first range increment (and expressly state it deals no damage) instead of limiting it to 5/day. Sure, you can use it a lot, but there's no guaranteed success, and you're not actually dealing damage with your actions. Just IMO here.
* A +1 adaptive composite shortbow is 3,375gp, leaving 32,000gp for the activated powers, and while said powers fit the thematic, the bow could really use more oomph outside of the niche to keep people from carrying a spare 9,400gp adaptive composite longbow of impact in their efficient quiver to handle the job of killing monsters.
* Lastly… and this is nitpicking: The description might want to suggest that dwarven druids made this for their warrior allies? Because druids aren't proficient in shortbows, though I personally wish they were.
REROUTING SHIELD: Interesting, but as worded very expensive for either three reroutes or one forced mini-teleport (like a super-short range baleful transposition from 3.5). If its intended that it can do both functions in one day, use "Additionally" instead of "Alternatively" :)
ROD OF ILLUSORY CASTING: I loved this item, personally; it enables clever use of illusion in a fashion that the Spellcraft rules normally negate. I found the wording a bit cumbersome, personally, but the key concept was simple but gorgeous.
DWARVEN ARMOR OF EXPLORATION: Weird. And overcomplicated while being very simple.
* Mithral in D&D is typically associated with elves, and while this doesn't rule out dwarves using it… it just seems strange to go with the mithral chain shirt specifically. Other than it being the best light armor in the game, of course.
* Generally, items with limited minutes of activation per day require it be used in 1 minute increments to reduce bookkeeping and abuse.
* The move through solid stone mechanic is wonky, as it requires there be tiny cracks… which there generally aren't unless the GM allows it.
* Honestly, this item reads like it should have been a heavier set of armor than lets you earthglide to me =/
GNOME SPLAT-PELTER: Interesting idea but… Ugh.
* Three times a day it can fire a shot that deals 1 point of bludgeoning damage (adding the +2 from the item, or no?) and 2d6 acid. Unless you don't shoot or roll a 1, then bad things.
* The final ability can fire vials and bottles that weigh up to 1lb, with a range increment of 20ft, rather than their normal range increment of 10-20ft, but requires a lot more actions to do so.
* Neither of the two special abilities come close, in my opinion, to justifying the horrendously terrible properties of this weapon as an actual weapon. A 30ft range heavy crossbow that deals d4 damage, with massively heavy ammo? Gah.
* Also, the name is rather off-putting.
BLACK-AND-WHITE SWORD: This one I'll stick to the spoiler feedback on.
* So it's a +5 weapon (50,000gp), and a minor cloak of displacement (24,000gp) if you move and 3/day shadow evocation (54,000gp). But against objects and creatures immune to illusion, it's not really a +5 weapon, only a +3? As expensive as this is, it's still underpriced.
* I'd suggest a few things here. The first is to tone back a lot of the abilities, and try and lower the cost: Switch from blur to the mechanics of the Wind Stance feat (ranged only) to drop to around the 5,000gp cost for that function. Drop Icy Burst to just Frost. Shoot for a lower level spell than shadow evocation or lower the uses to a single one.
* I'd also suggest that properties more in light with the dichotomy of the sword; dark and light etc, would be more fitting. As it stands it is a darkness and cold themed weapon, which doesn't really win me over.
VARISIAN DANCING CHAIN: Cool idea, but hidden behind an unnecessary complication.
* And that is cool, if a bit on the dice-heavy, which protracts out your turn. Also, how effective a reflex save is vs their attack is questionable, as only someone with extremely good Ref will get much use out of this item.
* It is also a little too easy to use; I'd suggest limiting it to AO's only due to your movement, rather than, say, spellcasting, or drinking a potion, or trying to disarm them. Would fix a lot of the headaches that would otherwise arise and keep to the theme.
* Seriously though, it is actually a cool concept, but the first line I think put off a lot of people.
SPRINGHEART: This thing is gorgeous… but probably underpriced.
* But seriously. I want one. It's awesome.
* More seriously; The visuals and mechanics all fit neatly together in Golarion, and it is both practical and fun for low level characters. And the letter-home ability is beautiful, and reminds players that somewhere, their characters have family (well, unless they killed them all off in their backstory, as some are wont to do).
* Love it.
RAW MEAT HOOK: It's a weapon you can grapple with by impaling people. The mechanics are actually very basic, but the description is a chore to read, I'm afraid.
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SHIELD OF THE FALLEN: Spartan reference really not required, as is breaks the fourth wall a bit too strongly. Pricing wonky; +1 heavy bronze shield = 1,170gp. 2/day deathwatch = 800gp, leaving 12,800gp for something that only works when the wielder is dead? I'd expect a 1/day breath of life for that! (Sorry if that seems harsh, but I honestly don't know anyone who would use this item)
BETRAYER'S BLADE: Underpriced, with a bit of a lackluster activated power :(
* The synergy with the speed property and Feinting is neat.
* The Once/day ability has wording issues (it's one attack only, so why mention the speed property?) and came across as somewhat utilitarian and lackluster to me, personally, as it's basically a guaranteed hit once per day.
WARBREAKER'S STAFF: Honestly… It's an irritation weapon, and I seriously dislike it.
* Next, the sole purpose of this rather expensive item is to destroy people's weapons, and specifically, magic weapons. And likely annoy the hell out of their party members, who would have really liked to either use or sell them. And annoy the hell out of the GM when the wielder destroys an item he carefully crafted for the party's frontliner.
* Frankly, "I destroy the party loot" items always tend to get rather negative votes from me, personally, and this one is included.
RING OF THE CLOCKWORK SENTINEL: A ring for excessively wealthy people with trust issues.
* Alright. So it is a permanent alarm for things on your person, plus a DC19 Will save for people to pickpocket or disarm you, plus a once-a-day locate object? I can see that adding up to a reasonable cost; 2200ish for the alarm (based on the ring of feather fall), 2400 for the 1/day locate object, and then 15,400gp for the at-will mini-lesser-geas? Okay.
* Mechanically, it looks okay. But it comes across as a bit of a gimmick item that PCs will most likely find and sell to an appropriately paranoid noble.
* Sorry for the harsh words, but the price tag versus the application really doesn't gel with me at all.
TALON: The healing bow just doesn't inspire me overly much.
* The visuals are good. I like how it looks, and how the charges are tracked.
* Honestly… a bow with 3/day healing arrows just isn't that inspiring. It needs more oomph in the mechanics to really stand out, as right now it's just too… well… dull :(
* Pricing: It's a +3 equivalent (18000) adaptive (1000) composite longbow (400), with 3/day CL5 1st level spell (6000 I think), for around 25,400gp. Close enough. The cost is wrong though; It's 50% of the enhancement plus the full masterwork bow cost; 13,025 in your case.
* Adding the holy to the amount healed is an interesting twist… but 2d6 extra healing (x3) isn't really enough in my eyes to make this item stand out, especially when it will be seen around the 8th-10th level mark.
* Honestly… I think the healing approach was the wrong direction for this item to take.
CELERITY BLADE: I'll be honest: I down voted this a lot, because balance issues of this magnitude are a massive red stop sign for me.
* To give a breakdown; It's a mithral longsword (2015gp) with a +4 equivalent enhancement (32,000gp), which functions as a light weapon so it can be used with weapon finesse and lower TWF penalties (Call that a feat equivalent, so 5,000 to 10,000). That leaves 8300gp at best for the remaining abilities, which include: Doubling base land speed when charging; the ability to charge while moving in any torturous path desired; treating all opponents as flat-footed in the first round, regardless of whether they have acted.
* Doubling speed when charging. It's basically a situational haste, so probably worth costing it akin to the Boots of Speed = 12,000gp.
* The freely-redirect while charging is… awkward and overly powerful. A charge still needs a clear line of attack to initiate; Is the intent that this ability ignores this requirement, or not? It should say. It should also say whether it can be used while mounted. Depending on exactly how it works (or doesn't) would determine the costing, but given the uniqueness it would be a difference between a lot and a lot.
* Getting in sneak attack if you didn't roll high on initiative. On one hand, rogues do need some love, as they struggle in combat (there's a rant here I won't get into here). On the other hand… an initiative bonus may have been a better way to go about it, rather than brute-force override of the standard mechanics.
* Also, rather than making it a finessable light longsword… just making it a mithral shortsword would have removed some of the weirdness from this item.
* That said, I can see and appreciate the quickling theme, and what you're trying to do with it. I just feel the item went too far, too fast and too cheaply.
OUTRIDER'S BAND: Some wording issues, but an interesting approach to an age old problem.
* I'm not entirely sure how a ring is 'flanked' with opposing humanoid and equine figurines. They're kinda… tiny, and don't give that much room for detail. But that's cosmetics.
* The creature is spelled "griffon" in D&D, including pathfinder.
* Given that you be merged indefinitely, this ring gives: +1 natural armor (racial), half the benefits of the Endurance feat (racial bonuses), low-light vision, 2 temporary hitpoints for a normal horse, +4 Handle Animal with horses and speak with animals (equine only) at will. But you get drunk easier. That's a lot of bang for your buck.
* Playing with numbers; 2000gp for natural armor, 4000gp (or so) for low-light vision, half-a-feat… say 2500gp, situational +4 to a skill (say 800), constant-but-limited 1st level spell, say 1000gp, amounts to around 10,300gp.
* Does the physical changes prevent you from using normal equipment? What happens to your armor when your legs change? Can you still wear boots with hooves? It really should be explicit, even if word count is an issue.
* It is worth stating "Constitution checks" and "Handle Animal checks" explicitly. A casual read through would see "+4 Racial bonus to Con? HELL YES!", which often leads to misused items for several sessions and then regret and awkwardness. Clear instructions please :)
* On one hand, the hybrid approach is a novel solution to the "What to do with my horse" question, and keeping it low level is good. But the abilities really need toning back and simplifying to justify the low cost and reduce bookkeeping.
Springheart
Good: A fun, cute, and imaginative tool for enhancing role-play. It is well-written (although I agree with Brigg about that last sentence) and simply gorgeous design.
Bad: ...Uhh... the price/cost is halved instead of being worked out and spell names weren't italicized. That's kind of it.Overall: This was my #1 favorite item of 2015. It is a rare example of a magic item whose description evoked an emotional response. Not just in me, apparently, but a whole lot of people. It brings back a sense of wonderment to magic items - the reminder that there is more to them than simply stat adjustments and combat enhancers. I wish that more items of this style were created for role-playing games. Bravo, Mr Corff.
Ring of the Clockwork Sentinel
Good: The description is evocative and entertaining. Mostly well-written. I actually think the price is fine, though I would not have objected to a reduction to make it more accessible.
Bad: The ring notices people automatically. That's always a big no for me, because I do not like magic items that completely override the use of skills.Overall: This was one of my favorite items, despite its flaws. I think with a little finagling it could have been great. Limiting the ring's unbeatable perceptiveness and using a lower-level spell like suggestion (and a lower Will DC), as an example, which in turn would have probably reduced the cost.
DWARVEN ARMOR OF EXPLORATION: Weird. And overcomplicated while being very simple.
Lol. that may come closer to the essence of cave exploring than anything else I've ever heard written about the topic. Thank you for the feedback. I agree on the overcomplicated-ness. I did a complete face-plant when I was pointed to the mud form hex by Mark Seifter. The very simple part was in conveying the impression that this armor granted the user the ability to literally merge into the backdrop (which in caves is almost invariably mud. And of course, that's real-world caves, not Pathfinder caves). I suspect that if I redid the armor, it would focus more on mineral-sniffing and resisting things like bull-rushes. I might have continued the imagery by making the armor out of enchanted thin stone (perhaps granite or obsidian).
Star Voter Season 9
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Ring of the Deific Caster
Aura moderate evocation, divination; CL 10th
Slot ring; Price 22,000gp; Weight –
Description
This ring is fashioned from the remnants of a holy symbol, and though the materials vary, each ring bears the image of seven black circles across the band.
Occasionally the gods reward those who seek knowledge of the magical arts and allow a way, for those who are willing, to become divine vessels of power tapping into secrets of the unknown. The wearer of the ring gains a +1 Insight bonus to overcome Spell Resistance. Should the wearer have the Spell Penetration feat than he gains an additional +1 to the check.
The ring provides divine protection against any magic directed against the wearer or his items. Once per day, when the wearer or any item he is carrying is the target of the dispel magic spell, he can as an immediate action call forth a divine spirit associated with his deity. This spirit functions like the spell spiritual ally and is based off of the wearer’s casting stat. This divine spirit lasts for 10 rounds and then disappears at the end of the wearers turn. The divine spirit gains the same bonus to overcome Spell Resistance as the wearer of this ring. The wearer gains one additional use of this ability if his alignment matches that of his deity. This ring only functions if the wearer worships the same deity as aligned with the ring.
Construction Requirements
Forge Ring, Spell Penetration, guidance, spiritual ally, creator must worship the deity aligned to the ring; Cost 11,000gp.
*So the thematic ties on the item's abilities fit, but there's a bunch of problems.
*Cost/Price are off and some formatting issues
*A weapon that completely doubles all damage against some foes is not something we do in Pathfinder and a bad design decision.
*The imprecise wording and particular passive voice lead to...
Thank you for taking the time to give detailed feedback, Mark.
These were just my thoughts during voting:
Sidereal Blade - Too many abilites that don't fit a theme: outsiders, ghost touch, pocket dimension, and teleportation. Mechanical and formatting issues. Underpriced. Price/cost incorrect.
Thank you for the critical feedback!