Nine Blazing Months!

[Jacob W. Michaels]

Since the chewing bone seems to be getting some positive responses, I figured I'd repost this one from a couple years ago for those who missed it again. It was my first-ever Blazing Nine item after my first run at Superstar petered out (though I think this is the second draft version of it, responding to some criticisms from the first draft). It's got a lot of similarities, obviously but was more inspired by me wishing the dog would actually get tired after playing fetch...

IIRC, I'd examined having it cause fights when thrown among a group of canines, but it became a little too rules cumbersome. For your entertainment only.

Fetching Stick
Aura faint enchantment (charm); CL 1st
Slot none; Price 1,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
A silhouette of a dog's head is carved on each end of this foot-long, several-inch-thick broken branch.

The owner of a fetching stick can throw it up to 30 feet as a standard action, forcing a target canine with Intelligence 4 or less that sees it to make a Will save (DC 11) or be forced to retrieve the stick: Moving to it, picking it up and returning it to the thrower, where the canine drops it and waits. If the user throws the stick again, the canine will continue to fetch; otherwise, the canine may act normally at its next action.

After 20 rounds, the canine becomes fatigued, but will continue to fetch. If a user throws the stick for one hour, the canine becomes exhausted and will wander away to rest. The charm ends if the canine is prevented from reaching the stick or attempting to do so would harm it (for example, if it is thrown on the other side of a chasm or wall of fire) or if it is attacked.

Each time the stick is retrieved by a canine, the item takes damage as if it suffered a bite from the animal. A fetching stick has hardness 5 and 20 hp. A canine gets a new Will save every time a broken fetching stick is thrown; if it fails, it will move to the stick and begin chewing it (full bite attack each round), though it will let anyone else take it at any time, after which it will act normally on its next turn.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, call animal; Cost 500 gp

[Mikko Kallio]

Christopher Wasko wrote:

Although admittedly it was the same story with the bodhrán.

Ah, now I understand... :)

I think you just tend to overthink your items. When you have less time to think, it's easier to resist the urge to add and add and add until the item becomes unnecessarily complex. If you can adjust your writing process somehow, maybe you'll be able to create cool items like the bodhrán more consistently.

The other important thing to keep in mind is that whenever you create an item, you basically roll d20 (or more accurately, something like 3d6) and add a modifier, and you just have to accept it that the DC for making a Superstar quality item is quite high. One of the most important skills a designer can learn is to "appraise" one's own creations, i.e. learn to see which of them are worth developing further and discard the rest (or just store them in google drive for later use).

Quote:

I like your ideas for the description, Mikko, and good catch with the hooks. I know basically nothing about rock climbing, so I'm happy to get that feedback from an actual climber!

What I meant was that the hooks seem unnecessary if you already have the power to shape stone at your fingertips. :) Hooks and loops of different kinds are used in rock climbing, but they're things you attach the rope to rather than something attached to your hands. I've seen climbing claws in ninja movies, but I've never seen anyone using them in real life. :)

Anyways, I'm not an expert climber by any means - most hiking trails in the mountains only involve a small amount of climbing, and usually the most dangerous places have chains and other things to help you. In other words, mostly I've been to places where it's reasonably safe to climb without climbing equipment.

In July, though, me and my friends are going to the Alps, where they have these things called Klettersteig, or via ferrata as they're usually called. Literally, the Italian version of the name means "iron path/road". A steel cable runs along the route, and well, you really have to climb, but at least you won't die if you fall. :-D

By the way, thanks for the feedback on the monster article. :)

[Curaigh]

Too much thinking, not enough writing! Hopefully I withheld enough to prevent SAK. Sorry for the first and rough draft nature of this item.

Sewing Box Marvels Entry:

Obsidian Needle
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 5th
Slot none; Price 27,000 gp; Weight --
Description

This thin, but long sliver of natural glass can pierce even the thickest hides. A red thread passes through its dark eye.
With a successful touch attack the wielder may tie himself to an ethereal target. The target and wielder see the thin red thread connecting them and the wielder must remain within 30 feet of the target or the thread breaks. The wielder may move through solid objects and gains a 50% miss chance from all attacks except those from the target of the needle. The thread negates the wielder’s miss chance against the target creature, but each attack has a 25% cumulative chance of cutting the thread. When the thread breaks, the wielder is shunted to the material plane and is dazed for 1d4 rounds.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, blink; Cost 1,350 gp

[Kiel Howell]

An obsidian needle...ok and take me there! :)

Price feels a little high for CL 5th but I'll wait for final judgement until I read through all the power.

I don't know if I would include the red thread or not...to me I don't like that personally but some may.

Hmm. I don't like the 1st sentence now that I see this is used for sewing oneself to an ethereal. Thickest hide really has no bearing on sewing an ethereal being. Maybe if it was "looks like it couldn't pierce even the thinnest of hides" this would feel less jarring.

I think I also would want some hardness and break and hp for the thread unless it is just ordinary thread.

Can anyone else see the thread? Is the thread ethereal too?

So you basically get 3 attacks before it is guaranteed to attack the thread.

Oooo automatic dazing at the end of the thread breaking...hmmm not sure I like it.

I see the cost is missing a 0 and the comma moved over.

Can I use this for EVERY ethereal I meet? How much thread is there?

Overall, I like the idea. I'm not as certain about this version as it is. The conflicting ideas of piercing the thickest hide and then the actual sewing of an ethereal jar me out of it. I am not sure if anyone can break or attack the thread or if only the target and wielder can attack/break/see the thread. I'm fine with a time limit and the cumulative 25% chance of attacking it provide this, but I don't think I like the dazing for 1d4 rounds on top of being limited to the number of attacks get to use without the miss chance. I really, really like the idea though. I think if you did a version 2 with some of the questions answered and a little revision comb this would be a super cool item that any Monk would HAVE to have at higher levels.

[Curaigh]

Nickolas Floyd wrote:

Nested Dolls of Bullied Vengeance

Still playing catch-up

*...'ten,' 'intricately' 'hand-painted', 'wooden'... that is a lot of description/words to get through before I get to what the item actually IS. I need a concrete object before I lose concentration while reading. A concrete action would also work, but as written the verb comes later and is not very concrete. 'Designed', 'fit', and 'are' are similarly seem like a lot of verbs to get to the action especially since this is still the first sentence. Designed to fit together, ten wooden dolls represent...
**painted to represent... is more history that an item needs unless you are campaign building.
***the actual effects are a little SAK, but I like the swapping sizes idea a lot. Since reduce counters enlarge, do you need both? (Technically probably not, but yes for the general reader I think you do. :) The swap is a huge trope in drama/stories, but other than location I have not seen in items. Well done.

I also like the moral bonus the small-to-medium gets, especially since it is only against the medium-to-small victims. Nice work. :)

[Curaigh]

Anthony Adam wrote:

Ascension Rods

Trying to comment on what has not been commented on, but those are the things I also found. Immovable rod (right from 3.5 DMG art :) There is a 3PP that made a whole book of feats, items, classes for immovable rods a lot of fun and worth mining for other uses.

Aside from the rod, the spider hook, seven thousand blossoms, boots of the phantom staircase, lilipad (...something... alternate?), and this year's deck of falling houses are all previous Top 32 items that help cross the un-crossable. Yes one shows up every year, so chasm crossing might be useful, but to me it is a well trod ...trail.

Minutia, minutia, minutia. :)

[Mikko Kallio]

Curaigh wrote:

Anthony Adam wrote:

Ascension Rods

Aside from the rod, the spider hook, seven thousand blossoms, boots of the phantom staircase, lilipad (...something... alternate?), and this year's deck of falling houses are all previous Top 32 items that help cross the un-crossable. Yes one shows up every year, so chasm crossing might be useful, but to me it is a well trod ...trail.

Minutia, minutia, minutia. :)

Yep, Curaigh's right. Your item really needs to do something wildly different than the existing chasm-crossing items to stand out. I think I saw quite many items of this category in the voting this year (which understandably got me slightly worried...), but I think mine got through because it is fairly flexible in how you can use it, i.e. not just a chasm-crosser.

I'll have a better look at the obsidian needle sometime later. Looks interesting. :-)

[Curaigh]

Garrett Guillotte wrote:

Sewing Box Marvels Entry
Binding Buttons

*'both' is not needed in the opening sentence, and 'emit' needs an s (or it needs to refer to the buttons (plural) and not the engraving (singular)). I like the description.

**Avoid 'if' for item activation. It either activates or doesn't (when, as, sewing/sewn are good alternatives). How long does it take to sew a button on?
***hold any weight, but can't be used to climb? bit of a discnnect for me on the visuals (and a missed opportunity imho*) Does the thread mean a game of red rover happens when anyone tries to pass through the area between the buttons? If the thread immediately regrows, what is the point of cutting it? It's virtually unbreakable. I think immediate is probably supposed to be descriptive, but remember it is a game term. (If immediate is just descriptive, good call on including hardness an HP of course. :)

A little complicated on the visuals, but they can be very cinematic in play. I can totally see a Jackie Chan sequence in these. Swashbucklers would love a to climb or slide sails, and huge banners/tapestries cry out for dramatic escapes. (provided climbing is allowed :)

Nice work!

EDIT: typos

[Curaigh]

P33J wrote:

Dimensional Skipping Stone

Aye this is really cool and touches on a mechanic I kept trying to make work last year (and gave up too late to get the other fully edited :p

*a more active verb would be preferable to 'is', especially in the opening sentence which really has to grab the reader. I do have a clear image of what this is.
**what is a skilled thrower? BAB >X? proficiency in stone throwing? skill ranks in outdoorsman? I only ask because the writing implies an 'unskilled' thrower. I get the AC is increasing for the additional attacks, but +2 is what every user of power attack is willing to sacrifice. Also the AC should not change, but the thrower should suffer a -2 penalty. Is the 10 feet less for every skip or just one skip.
***recharging mechanic is clunky, but I like that a proactive user can recharge it. Also good call on full round action.

Great cinematics. I would like to tie each attack to each of the skips. i.e. the character skips the stone and every square it clicks down is the square she attacks from. This may address the unlimited attack concerns, but keep in mind a 13th level barbarian will make the first four attacks even on a 1. (OK 1 is always a miss). Range increments could be added as well. I think the mechanic for bull rushing more one opponent into another might be a good way to work this. See you've inspired my creative juices. :)

[Christopher Wasko]

Here's another one for the thread, one that I don't think would be a real contender for RPGSS:

Piton of Ventilation
Aura faint conjuration and transmutation; CL 5th
Slot none; Price 1,400 gp; Weight 1/2 lb.
Description
This cast iron piton is well worn, its surface pitted and rusty. Its head is an open ring, the inside of which is constantly moist with condensation.

When driven into a 5-foot square of solid stone, a piton of ventilation opens a faint magical pipeline to the surface. The ring at the piton’s head exudes fresh air, supplying enough oxygen for up to 6 Medium creatures to stave off slow suffocation over the course of 1 week. Furthermore, the condensation around the ring accelerates, gradually producing enough potable water to sustain up to 6 Medium creatures each day for 1 week. The piton does not produce food.

The piton gradually takes its toll on the stone in which it is embedded. After the piton has been embedded for 1 week, the affected 5-foot square of stone dissolves into a pool of caustic slurry, which deals 1d6 points of acid damage per round of exposure. This slurry also exudes toxic fumes; those standing adjacent to the acid must make a DC 13 Fortitude save or take 1 point of Constitution damage per round. These fumes consume enough oxygen for 2 Medium creatures for purposes of slow suffocation. The piton is consumed when the stone dissolves.

If a piton is embedded in a stone surface that takes up less than a 5-foot square (such as a 2-foot thick masonry wall), the square dissolves into slurry at the end of 24 hours.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, create food and water, stone shape; Cost 700 gp

[Mikko Kallio]

Piton of Ventilation

Unfortunately, the item is far too situational to really be useful. Its secondary power kicks in after a week and is a pretty serious drawback, unless you for some reason are the captor who wanted to keep the people trapped someplace for a week, then kill them.

Either way, a week is far too long for most campaigns, and again, it'd require a truly extraordinary combination of circumstances for it to be useful. So, as you said, it wouldn't be a real contender for RPGSS.

It does come in handy if you want to make sure someone buried doesn't emerge as immured. :-P

[Jeffrey Swank]

Hello all, 1st time posting in here, but figured I get some practice. =)

Sands of Time
Aura moderate evocation and transmutation; CL 7th
Slot neck; Price 42,000 gp; Weight —
Description
This pendant is shaped as a small golden hourglass filled with white sand. This item affects the time field around the wearer and grants its possessor a +1 luck bonus on saving throws, ability checks, and skill checks. Once per day as a free action, the wear may activate the pendant to reroll any saving throw, ability check, or skill check and take the higher result. If the subject is in combat and is struck, he may activate the pendant and use its once per day ability to instead distort the fabric of time, return to the moment prior to being hit and create the effect of displacement against that single attack.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, divine favor, displacement; Cost 21,000 gp

[Christopher Wasko]

Mikko Kallio wrote:

Piton of Ventilation

Unfortunately, the item is far too situational to really be useful. Its secondary power kicks in after a week and is a pretty serious drawback, unless you for some reason are the captor who wanted to keep the people trapped someplace for a week, then kill them.

Either way, a week is far too long for most campaigns, and again, it'd require a truly extraordinary combination of circumstances for it to be useful. So, as you said, it wouldn't be a real contender for RPGSS.

It does come in handy if you want to make sure someone buried doesn't emerge as immured. :-P

Exactly my thinking. In fact, your immured was the inspiration for this item =)

[Jacob W. Michaels]

I like this a lot, Chris, though I can see why you didn't save it, as it's a little niche. It's one of those items I think I'd vote for a lot though.

I like your description in the first sentence -- especially the condensation aspect -- though I'd like to see you avoid the verb "to be" more. What about "Rust and pits mar the surface of this well-worn cast-iron piton.

I might be careful about saying a "faint magical pipeline," as faint is a game term with regard to strength of auras.

I really like the eventual toll it takes on the stone, especially since I could see a lot of players actually using that aspect to their advantage. I might want to make it so it's embedded for one week cumulatively, otherwise I think as a player I'd argue I could pull the piton out for an hour and reset the clock (it's also something where if it were used by a person trapped in a mine, they could simply keep moving it to other sections of stone, making it less of a danger than it appears).

[Curaigh]

theheadkase wrote:

Ok, this one's a little silly, and a little useful.

209 words.

Threadbeard

A fun item, that is a staple in games, books, and Acme catalogs everywhere! :)

*-ish, like, & freshly plucked leaves the visual a little vague to me. I dinnae know the difference between freshly plucked hair and other types of hair (is their blood on it? do your eyes water. Generally I think this is fine for an illusion item, but this isnt one. The spool itself is clear to me, though maybe not as big as you hinted in a follow up. Also thread and hair are different enough to me the simile is off little YMMV. :)
**it takes a minute to activate and a round (six seconds?) to work? Did I get that right?
*** 5 inches? is that length or area? is a 5" van d~$# use the same amount as a 5" french fork? Why such a small use? If I wanted an instant beard prestidigitation can create small objects. Nope when I use this it will be to grow the Merlin's halfway-down-my-chest or Bofur's beautiful-braidable-jowel socks!

This is a fun item & I hope the critique wasn't overly harsh. :)

[Curaigh]

Jeffrey 'Zerzix' Swank wrote:

Hello all, 1st time posting in here, but figured I get some practice. =)

Welcome Jeffrey!

take a quick look at the first couple posts to get the gist of things, but more importantly, practice!

Jeffrey 'Zerzix' Swank wrote:

Sands of Time

Ahhh you already have nice, here goes.

*italicize spells
**avoid 'is' especially at the beginning. Use a more active verb to grab the reader (and hope they never let go) 'filled' and 'shaped' are already there, use one of them.
***seems like a lot of gold for a guidance spell. Might be ok for a guidance/resistance that doesn't run out, but not likely, especially as it also takes up the valuable neck slot.

The displacement effect is cool, but the wording needs work. Time pendants (especially with hourglass shapes) are a little common. As is the name, but the options are limited in my brain. watches & clocks won't work for most fantasy games. Sundials can't move (& remain effective). Water clocks? pretty complicated especially as a pendant. Marked candles suggest light, but might work. Armillary model would also be cool, but whatever item you choose I really want to see it melting :)

Nice work, and again, welcome :)

[Jeffrey Swank]

w0ot, Thanks Scott! Hit on most of the points I was also thinking, but I set a goal to do 1 item every 2 weeks regardless if I am inspired or not. lol

[Mikko Kallio]

Curaigh wrote:

Too much thinking, not enough writing! Hopefully I withheld enough to prevent SAK. Sorry for the first and rough draft nature of this item.

Sewing Box Marvels Entry:

Obsidian Needle
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 5th
Slot none; Price 27,000 gp; Weight --
Description

This thin, but long sliver of natural glass can pierce even the thickest hides. A red thread passes through its dark eye.
With a successful touch attack the wielder may tie himself to an ethereal target. The target and wielder see the thin red thread connecting them and the wielder must remain within 30 feet of the target or the thread breaks. The wielder may move through solid objects and gains a 50% miss chance from all attacks except those from the target of the needle. The thread negates the wielder’s miss chance against the target creature, but each attack has a 25% cumulative chance of cutting the thread. When the thread breaks, the wielder is shunted to the material plane and is dazed for 1d4 rounds.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, blink; Cost 1,350 gp

I agree with Kiel on the flavor mismatch -- piercing the "planar fabric" between the Material Plane and Ethereal Plane seems unrelated to physically piercing a creature's thick hide.

There are a few mechanical concerns as well. It's not mentioned if the 50% miss chance results from your being partially on another plane, concealment, or something else. There are spells, feats and other abilities that allow you to ignore a miss chance resulting from concealment, and I'm not sure if they'd apply here. I presume it's similar to how blink works, but cannot be sure.

"The thread negates the wielder's miss chance against the target creature" <-- what miss chance? You cannot normally strike a creature on the Ethereal, and actually it sounds as though you were talking about the miss chance vs incorporeal creatures which doesn't even quite work the way it used to in 3.5... (in PF magic attacks deal 50% damage vs incorporeal creatures, and effects that don't cause damage have a 50% chance of affecting them.) And of course, incorporeal is not the same as ethereal. Please correct me if I'm wrong or missing something here. I may have confused something here. :)

So, overall, I have a feeling the mechanics don't quite conform to how the rules of fighting ethereal creatures work.

Anyway, I love obsidian as a material, and the concept is really cool. Just needs some work to make it work properly within the rules, I guess.

[Mikko Kallio]

Ah, the thickest hide naturally refers to sewing oneself to a creature and as such is not about piercing the boundary between the planes as I said above... But still, it doesn't quite fit I think. Other than that, cool concept, cool flavor.

[Anthony Adam]

Hi all

Something a bit strange and wacky for you to review and vote on please. My creation for the McDonalds design a burger competition.

Behold the tangy, garlic loaded Garlic Blast burger.

Thanks to all who vote for me ;)

And now, back to the normality that is Blazing 9 :D

[frank gori]

@ Jacob Michaels- this is relevant to your interests your wish come true

My theory is that the dog ultimately dies...

[Jacob W. Michaels]

LOL, that's awesome. Sadly, my dog only appreciates the great outdoors if one of us is out there with her so it'd be a bit of a moot point.

[Kerney]

First time posting. Hope to do it at least bi weekly to monthly. Please be brutally honest.

Decorative Comb of the False Debutante
Aura faint divination and enchantment; CL 4th
Slot head; Price 7000 gp; Weight--
Description
This elegant silver hair comb seems to be the perfect accessory to any aristocratic young lady’s wardrobe. The wearer unconsciously takes on the demeanor, accent, and behavioral cues of an aristocratic woman, granting a +5 bonus to diplomacy or a +5 to disguise themselves as a given such individual.

If a character is wearing the combs and obviously does not fit either of these criteria and cannot or will not remove them for whatever reason (such as the effect described below), must instead make a DC 11 bluff check each round not to act like an aristocratic woman and suffer a -5 to diplomacy checks.

When placing these combs in the hair of another you may, as a free action, whisper a suggestion into the ears of the wearer which is consistent with their presumed upper class role (DC 13 will to resist). For example, a suggestion to hold off a dragon for a few minutes wouldn’t work but a suggestion to dismiss the silly rumors that the most fascinating man at tonight’s ball is a vampire, would work perfectly. While under this effect, the wearer will not willingly remove the combs. Doing so ends the effect immediately.
Regardless as to whether the wearer is under a suggestion they still receive all the normal benefits or penalties of the combs.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Cultural Adaptation, Suggestion; Cost 3500 gp

[Kerney]

Fetching Stick

Beautiful and simple. Only thing I would do is maybe include a handle animal check or allow say, the owner of an animal companion to contest it control of the animal with a handle animal check.

Sands of Time
Replace “its” with it.

It gives a lot of useful bonuses and is properly expensive but nothing too flashy. I wouldn’t mind seeing something based on the oracle abilities (though I know it is harder to figure out how to emulate).

Piton of Ventilation
Cheap but limited in its intended use, though several could be used creatively in siege craft (Attach them to a stone wall and wait a week). Nice negative side effect and good theme. Might be better in an underdark campaign much like all those swim items are best in a water game.

Will try to work backward and get all the items.

[Jacob W. Michaels]

Welcome aboard, Kerney; always good to have more people participating.

I see a couple template issues: You're missing commas in the price and cost. Also your spells should be lowercase.

In your first paragraph, try to avoid "seems to." It's a weak verb first of all, but more importantly, the item either is or isn't. Seems is neither. Skills should be capitalized. Also, always start with your most exciting power, which will be anything but a basic numerical bonus to a skill. (While a bonus to a skill could be a good extra power for an item, at this point, I'd be tempted to argue that it's never going to be a benefit for you in Superstar unless it's to a really specific aspect of a skill.)

The second paragraph just confuses me, in part because I haven't read the third paragraph yet. That's not good. This is probably something that could wait until you've described the power I assume I'm about to read, but might also be something you don't need at all. I think disadvantages to wondrous items are probably overused, again especially in the context of Superstar (people don't want items that are going to make them bleed or suffer other bad effects).

And then we finally get to the meat of your item ... which is basically a suggestion spell. But though the duration is longer, I think it's probably less effective, since you have to more or less have a willing/unwitting target to use it. I'd also be careful of using "for examples" in your items. I got away with it in my poltergeist knot but I really wanted to find another way to go about it. It's kind of a sign that your item may be too complicated.

It's also not clear to me how often this can be used. Is it 1/day? Every time it's put in someone's hair? I think that needs to be addressed.

I did like that you used a newer spell (cultural adaptation), though the PRD's not loading for me now, so I can't really get a look at it to see how well it's used. I think you also have a neat idea -- it's something that would be cool in a spy-type of game -- but needs a little more oomph to be Superstar.

[Template Fu]

Hey Kerney

Template Fu had a look see and your commas and capitalization have already been put out. Another thing he suggests you could look at is staying focused on the game aspect of the description. By this, for example, your para 1.

"This elegant silver hair comb seems to be the perfect accessory to any aristocratic young lady’s wardrobe. The wearer unconsciously takes on the demeanor, accent, and behavioral cues of an aristocratic woman, granting a +5 bonus to diplomacy or a +5 to disguise themselves as a given such individual."

Do I need to know its a perfect accessory? Nope. Or for young ladies (but not old ones?) - nope not that either. "unconsciously", nice padding but has no real game effect. Why can't male characters benefit? Does it have to be the mannerisms of an aristocratic woman or just the mannerisms of an aristocrat? (gender neutral can be useful).

Reworking that first para, it could shorten some to

"Wearing this elegant silver hair comb changes the wearers behavior to that of a refined aristocrat, granting a +5 bonus to diplomacy and a +5 to disguise themselves as a member of the local aristocracy."

Note the disguise part is an AND not an OR, because it is situation-ally qualified, the diplomacy can be in many situations, balls, shopping, etc, but the disguise is a more focused sort of skill check usually as a result of direct role play actions. I would say you get both hence the AND.

What you could have included instead of all the behavior waffle is some descriptive element of the comb, how large, is it say a butterfly with the legs forming the combs tines? That sort of descriptive element.

The other cardinal sin you committed is leading off with a mundane skill bonus, which has a problem of itself - if you are already an aristocrat, should you gain those bonuses when you would likely be acting as such with and without the comb?

After the initial flavorful description, wham us between the eyes with the coolest power first!

This is especially true in round 1 of superstar with regards to public voting - as tiredness sets in on the voters, they will start scanning. If you start with the mundane, they may stop there and start down-voting it because it didn't excite from the git go.

Hope there's something useful there.

[Kerney]

Thanks Jacob and Template Fu. Looking at the depth and quality of your suggestions I reworked the item. I think I'm closer to superstar now but not there yet. Makes my 'reviews' seem inadequate.

What I've noticed about my own writing.

I tend to come up with long and complicated items, even when I'm shooting for simplicity. I need to go for fewer words. I also like enchantment spells. Also, in when in doubt I tend to undersell.
Spoiler

:

In the last version of this I left it implicit that anyone can wear the comb. This time I've made it explicit.

Thanks again for all your help.

Decorative Comb of the False Debutante
Aura faint divination, enchantment; CL 4th
Slot head; Price 5,100 gp; Weight--
Description
This elegant silver hair comb seems to be the perfect accessory to any aristocratic woman’s wardrobe. The wearer unconsciously takes on the demeanor, accent, and behavioral cues of an aristocratic woman.
Someone who willingly and knowingly dons the comb can target another with suggestion once a day (DC 13 to resist). They also receive a +2 bonus to Diplomancy, Bluff, Intimidation, and Disguise, though the last is only usable for an impersonation in keeping with an assumed aristocratic role.
If someone unaware of these effects dons the comb they come under the suggestion that the comb is a desirable thing to be wearing. If someone places the comb on another they may also whisper into the ear of the wearer another suggestion. In all cases, such suggestions must be in keeping with the actions of or they automatically fail. They wear off in three hours or when conditions of the suggestion are fulfilled.
The target still gains the bonuses to social skills unless there is an extreme disconnect between the wearers form (such as being a goblin or a non disguised male) and the assumed roll, in which case the bonuses become -2 penalties. Such a wearer may make a DC 11 Sense Motive check whenever they roll one of those skills to realize something is wrong and a DC 11 bluff check to act normally and negate those penalties if they cannot remove the comb.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, cultural adaptation, suggestion; Cost 2,550 gp

[Nick Wasko]

Jacob W. Michaels wrote:

Fetching Stick

Overall I like this. I agree with Kerney that adding Handle Animal to the mix might make it a bit more versatile, but it's pretty solid as written.

Curiagh wrote:

Obsidian Needle

I like the idea of an item that levels the playing field against an ethereal foe, but as Mikko said the rules for this don't seem to match up. It may just be that a sewing needle isn't the right item for this ability - perhaps something more akin to a fishing hook, to "reel in" ghosts or other incorporeal targets?

Jeffrey 'Zerzix' Swank wrote:

Sands of Time

Maybe this is just me, but I see a time-related effect to be an insight bonus, rather than a luck bonus.

This item is far too expensive - it's just 8,000 gp shy of a cloak of displacement, which already provides your item's best effect, except it works for 15 rounds per day instead of once.

The descriptive text is a little plebeian as well. Maybe the sand could always be trickling through, regardless of orientation and never seeming to fully empty?

Christopher Wasko wrote:

Piton of Ventilation

I already gave you feedback on this item, and it looks like you took my earlier critique to heart. Everything already said here also makes sense, and I think it was wise not to use it.

Kerney wrote:

Decorative Comb of the False Debutante

The name seems very long/clunky to me, which is an immediate turnoff as a voter. I'd try to streamline it - maybe just comb of the debutante.

I agree with Template Fu about the gender neutrality; some cultures feature males with decorative combs as well, and limiting this to female targets makes it less versatile.

I really don't get this: "If someone unaware of these effects dons the comb they come under the suggestion that the comb is a desirable thing to be wearing." Does that mean that people who don't know it's magical immediately fall under a Gollum-esque "my precious" desire to wear the comb? The numerous applications of suggestion throughout this item seem a little overstretched and incongruous.

The weight should be an en-dash, rather than two dashes.

[Nick Wasko]

Also, here are my long-overdue revisions of the last two items I posted. Enjoy!

Woundstitching Tattoo
Aura moderate conjuration; CL 5th
Slot none; Price 12,000 gp (lesser), 24,000 gp (normal), 36,000 gp (greater); Weight –
Description
This intricately woven, knot-pattern tattoo remains intact despite superficial cuts, scrapes, and burns to the underlying skin. Once per day as a standard action, the bearer may activate the tattoo to close wounds, with the reformed flesh mirroring the tattoo’s pattern. An activated tattoo grants fast healing 1 (lesser), 2 (normal), or 3 (greater) until the bearer returns to full hp or the tattoo heals 20 (lesser), 40 (normal), or 60 (greater) hp, whichever comes first. Once used, the tattoo fades to resemble a scar; its color returns to normal when its power regenerates the next day.

Construction
Requirements Inscribe Magical Tattoo, symbol of healing; Cost 6,000 gp (lesser), 12,000 gp (normal), 18,000 gp (greater)

Steelstitching Needle
Aura faint transmutation; CL 1st
Slot none; Price 1,000 gp; Weight –
Description
Any string threaded through the eye of this thick iron needle takes on the consistency of wire. A steelstitching needle allows the wielder to repair constructs using either Craft (clothing) or Heal checks. The check DC is equal to the Skill DC of the target’s construction requirements. Success means a construct heals 1 hp per 2 hours of work (maximum 8 hours per day). A new skill check must be made for each day of repairing.

A steelstitching needle also allows the wielder to use Craft (clothing) or Heal in place of Craft (armor) for the purpose of repairing or resizing armor, regardless of material.

Thread used with the needle changes to match the material the targeted armor or construct is made of; if removed from the armor or construct, it reverts back to ordinary thread.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, mending; Cost 500 gp

[Kerney]

Summer Wind
Original idea. Short, which is good.
Endarkened? of the dark winter? of the dark of winter? the cold of winter? Basically endarkened is awkward.

What links theme to paladin powers?

That said, it feels like the sacred bonus works against wintery things. But is winter evil? I could make an item which invokes Christmas (or whatever they celebrate near midwinter on whatever plane you’re on) and it could be cheery/hopeful/positive. I’m playing devils advocate here, but I could see someone not buying the connection (don’t worry too much, I really had to think about it in those terms, and a voter will vote in thirty seconds) between winter and evil.

Stonescaling Grasps
Strikes me as an item I’d see in Ultimate Equitment rather than something that is imaginary enough to get out of the first round of RPGA superstar (and I know my items are bad, but for other reasons). That said,

On any round when she uses both hands for climbing a stone surface (i.e. does not attack, cast spells with somatic components, or otherwise use her hands for something other than climbing), the wearer does not lose her Dexterity bonus to AC.

States things succinctly and explains one reason you would really want this item. Do this sooner rather than as late as you did. On the whole, this is very well written. Falling rock power is good too.

Woundstitching Tattoo (new version)
Can you cut the tattoo out of the skin of a person and graft it into the skin of another? If it can’t then does it qualify as a magic item? After all, it can’t be taken from your cold dead appendage and become loot like a sword/wand/ring/whatever. That’s a point to clarify.

Cost seems a little pricy for what it does though I think it’s correct.

Otherwise, it is a an original idea, and it works and has a great theme.

Steelstitching Needle

Low cost yet does something powerful, given time. That is a unique combination and something you should keep in mind for your entry.
Yet it also has a simple use (resizing Armor), which could be really useful.
Would Knowledge: Engineering be more appropriate as a skill for metal/wood/stone instead of healing?

[Kerney]

Dryad’s Last Gift
Aura Moderate Transmutation; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 4050gp; Weight 1/2 lbs.
Description
This appears to be a normal acorn, though slightly bigger than most. Looking closely at the wood grain, one might imagine a small feminine figure.

When placed inside the body of a dead humanoid, a small tree starts growing from it, acting as a slow, ongoing reincarnation effect, taking a year to complete. During this time, the target corpse cannot be raised, resurrected, or reincarnated, nor will speak with dead work unless break enchantment, dispel magic, limited wish, miracle, remove curse, or wish is first cast to remove this reincarnation effect.

After a year the target springs forth from the now grown tree. If they fail a DC 17 will save, they reincarnate as a Dryad, losing their extraordinary, supernatural, spell-like abilities and ability to cast spells, gaining the alignment, special abilities, and Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma scores of a dryad, though one with most of the memories of their previous existence. If they succeed they reincarnate, using the standard reincarnation table.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Baneful Polymorph, Reincarnation, creator must be a dryad; Cost 2025 gp

[Jacob W. Michaels]

Hmm. Dyrad's last gift? I'm expecting some sort of companion to Neil Spicer's last leaves of the autumn dryad.

Start with the template: Aura should be lowercase. Your price and cost are missing commas; you're also missing a space in the price. If you're using 1 lb. or less for the weight, you don't need to make lbs. be plural (i.e. it should be 1/2 lb.) "Will" should be capitalized when referring to a Will save. Your spells should be lowercase and you wrote baneful polymorph instead of baleful. I would probably avoid making your creator have to be a dryad, especially for Superstar; my impression, though I'm not sure how accurate it is, is that voters really dislike a lot of extraneous requirements (such as x number of ranks in a skill...). They want things their characters might be able to make or at least that don't seem like they'd be so rare as to be artifacts.

Again, you're using "appears to be" in your lead. I'd REALLY work on getting that out of your system. Focus on the magical: "The grain of this large acorn forms an image of a small feminine figure."

This is a pet peeve for me as a newspaper editor, though I don't know if it applies as much to gaming, but it's rare you need to use the word "inside." You can just use "in." For Superstar, I'd also be careful with blood and gore. It wasn't as bad last year, but people got sick of that really quick -- for a lot of voters, they don't want to get into quite so many specifics (a lot of items in the past have involved ripping out eyeballs or tongues or just getting a little too gory). Maybe this wouldn't cross that line, but in a voting situation, I wouldn't even get close to it. Simply say touching the acorn to a dead humanoid in this case...

So basically it's a yearlong reincarnation, where there's a chance that they could be a neutered dryad (or should that rather be a spayed dryad for proper gendering?). I think it's something that could be introduced as a plot element, but I don't see it garnering a lot of Superstar votes. It's just A) way too niche; and B) not much more than a spell in an acorn can (reincarnation).

There are some visuals -- tree growing means the PCs would see something happening, so that's good.

So what might I do differently here. Cut the time for starters -- make this a one-day process, since it's a rare game that sees a year pass or at least pass in a way that a PC could be using this item. Then have it do something different with the reincarnation. Maybe they can get some sort of plant traits (Though that risks becoming a monster in a can)? I'd also change the name -- it's important to be aware of what other people are doing/have done and this sounds way too much like the last leaves, especially in the Superstar context. That's hard of course -- there are TONS of things out there, and even hundreds of Superstar items (especially now that we're seeing all the items submitted so you have to be careful not to just do something like the previous Top 32 but something like the previous 600) -- but it's what you have to do. (The Time Thief submitted for R2 last year, for example, was criticized as having the same name as a 3PP class and a book, among other things, IIRC.)

I feel like I'm coming off a little harsh, for which I apologize. I think you're close to coming up with some really good stuff. I'd really focus on trying to give the spells a twist so they're close to what they would normally do but not quite so spell-in-a-can...

[Mikko Kallio]

Jacob's critique is spot on. PCs live in the now -- something that happens a year from now is too late. The comments on the name, typography, it being a SIAC, etc. I also agree with.

Anyway, I think it might help you to try to imagine your items being used by a group of PCs. Not any specific group of PCs for any specific campaign or adventure, either, but rather, try to imagine what any random PC or party would do with it. I think utility is just as important as mojo, presentation, flavor and mechanics.

I think an acorn is a nice choice as an item type. There's also some nice, thematically appropriate flavor there. Maybe you could try start designing your item from a flavorful, thematically cool concept. Then try to come up with a mechanical effect that makes sense -- just try to avoid using mechanical effects that you can already achieve with spells. The spells you use basically just explain/justify the flavor and mechanics you choose.

Just an idea, I hope that makes any sense. :)

[Jacob W. Michaels]

Thanks, Mikko, and you also bring up a good point I want to echo: I do really like an acorn as a base item.

It's interesting and different than just gloves, for example, or one of the other slotted choices available. I think comb also is not something quite so run of the mill, so I definitely think you're in the right area there, Kerney, coming up with interesting base items for your wondrous items.

[Kerney]

Thanks Jacob and Mikkio. First off, I'm not put off by the harsh criticism. That's what I've come here for.

And actually, I tend to agree with both assessments. I've always felt I had good ideas but they always got panned in the contest (I'm pretty sure my items have cut at the first cull the last two years).

Fall down seven times stand up eight.

All the Best,

Kerney

[Jacob W. Michaels]

What were your previous items, if you don't mind me asking.

[Kerney]

Jacob W. Michaels wrote:

What were your previous items, if you don't mind me asking.

Goblin Pictograms Eat Stuff Much

Glittering Dust of Giggling Girlishness (Specifically didn't do what it said on the tin)
Corpse Bread (really bad)
Clay of I can't remember the name of that rearranged facial features.

[Kerney]

Carafe of Cascading Ice

Good description in the opening paragraph. Seems fairly balanced. Like that you specify fire damage as a cure. That is something that is common sense but could be ignored by some people. The use of elemental body also works, but why would it kill said creature upon thawing? It is made of water after all.

Eyelapse Stitch

Simple but effective use. Like the “unnaturally mundane” word choice but at the same time this could be seen as contradictory. On the other hand, it seems like a very ‘niche’ item, something that would work in an urban setting but would be useless in a wilderness setting. I wonder how many adventurers would want the item?

Spellcracker's Tools

Name really works.
Wording in the first paragraph needed to be reread three times to make sure I understood it correctly. At the same time it is evocative and effective.
Second sentence should start a new paragraph.
Perfect for a party were you need a rogue to do a wizard's job.
Powers are good. I like the “feedback effect” for failing. I’m curious about how you got the pricing for the item?

Hope that is helpful.

[Mike Kimmel]

Hello again, Blazing 9 writers! You might find this article on the Freelance Forge blog to be quite useful as you revise your wondrous item submissions for next year. Lots of great editing advice, specifically with regards to wondrous items, brought to you by Jacob W. Michaels!

[Kerney]

This one is based off Mikko's advice.

Unfolding Ladder
Aura moderate conjuration; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 9,000 gp; Weight 7 lbs.
Description
This folding ladder has the weight and heft of a plain folding ladder, but as you unfold the ladder it continues to unfold identical 5ft sections up to 100ft in length. Sections then fold back into the ladder and apparently vanishing back into nonexistence. Each section can be bent and locked at an angle different from the previous 5 ft. section thus allowing the ladder to be bent to such ways as to easily transverse obstacles though without turning right or left. With a DC 5, 10, or 20 Acrobatics checks respectively, one can stand, walk, or run on sections that are no more than 45 degrees and climb normally on all other sections.
Folding and positioning 20 ft. of unfolded ladder is a full round action. Placing four sections in one space creates difficult terrain. This obstacle can be removed by folding the ladder back in on itself.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, secret chest Cost 4,500 gp

On Pricing:

When I did the math I came up with a price of 90,000 gp. But I noticed that items based off the same spell like handy haversack and bag of holding were going for significantly less (2,000 gp for the haversack). Looking at the options and not finding what I did wrong (if anything) I dropped the price tenfold to be more in line with similar items

general:

Since I've started posting, I've noticed others have stopped. Am I somehow the cause of this? Have I broken some unwritten rule of Item Club?

Spoiler:

Explosive runes!

[Jacob W. Michaels]

Kerney, I think this is your best effort yet.

Templating looks good.

I think the item is interesting; it's probably a little too similar to some previous Superstar items, which is why I assume you decided it was a good 9 Blazing Months candidate, but obviously things we choose to post here are items we're not saving.

Some things to consider:
Try to be more dynamic in your first sentence, which is usually the description. Like "is," "has" isn't an exciting verb, really. And saying it's plain is also kind of dull. Add some magic to your magic item!

When doing measurements, there should be a space between the number at the amount. "Ft." should also be spelled out (I think; I would want to doublecheck that before I submitted).

Your second sentence you switch verb tenses -- you start with "fold" and then use "vanishing." I'm also a bit hesitant about "apparently vanishing back into nonexistence." The player and GM need to know the mechanics -- are the other sections in an extradimensional space or do they really not exist. That could be important.

Pricing: I think your pricing seems reasonable here. As they say, it's as much an art as a science, and I think you were wise to lower the price from what "the book" says. With my two contender items, one (the haunting glass) was about a quarter the price it should have been; the poltergeist knot was exactly per formula but probably should have been 50-100 percent higher.

General: I don't think so. :) You're doing exactly as you should. I wondered in previous years why so many people who'd been active in the Superstar forums and even Blazing 9 weren't as time went on. I think the people who do participate in this thread tend to be some of the most serious about getting involved in game design. I think that then also often ends up with them getting work or other opportunities, which cuts into the time and energy they have to post here. That's a good thing, of course, except for keeping up with the thread.

[Kerney]

Jacob W. Michaels wrote:

Kerney, I think this is your best effort yet.

Thanks. I think it comes from listening to good and relevant advice, like yours.

Jacob W. Michaels wrote:

I think the item is interesting; it's probably a little too similar to some previous Superstar items, which is why I assume you decided it was a good 9 Blazing Months candidate, but obviously things we choose to post here are items we're not saving.

This is the second time I've run up against this and while the first time I felt I should have known. This time, work got busy and I was disappointed with my lack of success that I didn't pay attention to this years items. So I didn't know I was too similar. Should I go back to the beginning and read every item that made the top 32 just to remind myself of what's gone before?

General: I don't think so. :) You're doing exactly as you should. I wondered in previous years why so many people who'd been active in the Superstar forums and even Blazing 9 weren't as time went on. I think the people who do participate in this thread tend to be some of the most serious about getting involved in game design. I think that then also often ends up with them getting work or other opportunities, which cuts into the time and energy they have to post here. That's a good thing, of course, except for keeping up with the thread.

Fair enough and thanks for the perspective.

Take Care,

Kerney

[Jacob W. Michaels]

Kerney wrote:

This is the second time I've run up against this and while the first time I felt I should have known. This time, work got busy and I was disappointed with my lack of success that I didn't pay attention to this years items. So I didn't know I was too similar. Should I go back to the beginning and read every item that made the top 32 just to remind myself of what's gone before?

While it's not a big deal for practice, it's definitely something I would do before you enter the actual contest. Just as in freelancing -- where you don't want to pitch, say, a time thief because there's already a 3PP time thief out there -- you don't want to duplicate. Making sure you're not duplicating a previous item (much less a published item) is part of the game. Considering how many items there are now in previous Superstar runs (six years times 32 items gets us close to 200 entries) starting early can certainly be valuable, since it can take some time to go through them all.

[Kiel Howell]

Wow, I can't believe I've been so busy to get so behind here!

I promise I'll make it up to you Blazing Niners!

[Anthony Adam]

Don't fret Kerney, I think we are just all ubah busy right now, items will pick up again soon, I promise (a.k.a I will post something soon, gah!) ;)

I like the ladder, but some advice I was given is that sometimes the ideas I come up with are over used/meme, and crossing things with ropes, ladders etc is one of those.

One other aspect of pricing for example, which I don't recall seeing mentioned much, is not only to examine where something fits on the price tables but also what can a party do of the right level with that sort of disposable gold.

For example, by the time my mage got to be able to afford a 9 grand item, I could levitate, feather fall and blink - which negated most of the problems with crossing something - and quite often, the rope was tied to the "mage who could get there", helping the party too. So do consider that with your items, not only is it priced well, but are the benefits likely to already be bettered by character skills.

Go really wild on your next one, something way out there that you might think is likely to be too much - this is a practice thread so we really want to see you stretch yourself, so go for it. Yes, you will likely take it too far the first time, but that's the whole point, reach for the Superstar!

[Curaigh]

June is the end 'of the year' in a lot of places or at least the end of quarter. It is also the beginning of Con season and a lot of local cons host writing contests. In short it is a busy time for deadlines. I had two deadlines last week, and two this week. Still, my goal is to get to nine practice items before the contest opens. Keep at it Kerney, you are doing great.

Speaking of practice, the 'So You Want To Be A Superstar' panel at PaizoCon ended with an exercise where an item was started as a group project. There should be a thread for that soon.

Also for practice: The contestants of Bestiary Bash were competing for the Emerald Crown. Here is a challenge for you. What does the Emerald Crown do?

Program Entry:

Pathfinder Game ((monsters with class level)) featuring Scott/Curaigh

Monsters with class battling in a tournament to win the Emerald Clouds Crown. Control the Emerald Clouds by controlling the board and all challengers. Monster characters provided or bring a monster with class levels. Choose a monster with CR of 4, 5, 6. Add class levels of 6, 5, or 4 (so the total is 10). Round robin or swiss tournament depending on numbers.

It's back and roaring for your blood. Character building isn't necessary, but is welcome. Bring an official PFS monster (not 3PP) and its source, using the monster advancement rules of the Bestiary for adding classes. Undead, elementals, golems, plants and dragons are not allowed, their abilities are unbalanced for single encounters. Your monster should have a head to wear the crown. In character prizes after each round. Real prizes at the end. Brute force is fun, but control of the board is important as well. Dying does not mean the end of the match, the powers of the Emerald Clouds regenerate combatants who fall. More details can be found on PaizoCon Bestiary Bash threads.

Age rating: 10+. Game complexity: Normal. Experience required: Beginner.

Prizes will be awarded at this event.

[Mikko Kallio]

Kerney wrote:

This one is based off Mikko's advice.

Unfolding Ladder

I'm very glad you found my advice useful. And it's really a rather good item, too. :-) As Jacob pointed out, there are already a lot of items that help you cross chasms, but this item is still a big step in the right direction.

Admittedly, it's been a bit quiet in this thread recently. Now that I'm back from the mountains (and the new AP has been announced), I might post a fleshed-out version of one of my rejected Giant Slayer monsters.

[Anthony Adam]

OK, taking the leap time.

Some of you know and some of you don't, but the reason the Fu is so quiet is I have been guinea pigging/trialing for Sean his new online games design course.

It's really rather good, so please do consider it if you are serious about getting into games design. He will, I'm sure, post to the superstar forums when he is fully prepared and ready - I am currently working on monster design to test that bit of the course for him, so you may get a beast at some point to look at.

Anyway, I thought it was time to see if you guys can see any improvement in my designs. Now, the item below was one of my shortlist ideas for the competition. After designing it, reviewing it, it still came in way over my intended word budget for this year.

This year I am targeting to try and do a 200 word item or less. So at 287 words, this item has finally been subjected to my practice bin.

So here you go, the second to last para ("If the total level..." is the one causing me most grief I think now, but I think I can see an improvement in my design and language use, so this will be a good litmus test posting it here.

Have at it everyone :)

Spell Thrower
Aura faint abjuration; CL 5th
Slot hands; Price 4,500 gp; Weight —
Description
This glove, made from woven spider silk, is so pure and brilliantly white that it almost fluoresces.

Placing the glove onto a written spell such as a scroll causes the symbols to animate in a dizzying leaping from page to glove, racing to the centre of the palm. There they merge into a pulsating ball lasting as long as it is held. One ball may be created and held at any one time.

Throwing the ball as a ranged attack releases the spell energy against the target on a successful hit. The ball splatters as an ink blot at the end of its flight regardless of whether the attack was a hit or a miss.

If the ball was created from a spell that deals damage, it inflicts 1d6 points of damage per spell level. If the spell damage has a damage type, the damage dealt by the ball is of the same type, otherwise the damage has no type.

If the spell channels energy, then 1d6 points of healing per spell level is granted for positive energy spells, or 1d6 points of damage per spell level is inflicted for negative energy spells. This counts as an energy source of the appropriate type.

If the total level of the character when treated as levels of the appropriate caster type for the spell being touched result in being an insufficient level to cast the spell, then the writing remains on the touched parchment and no ball is formed.

If the ball is released without being thrown, it melts into a small puddle of ink.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, explosive runes; Cost 2,250 gp

[Anthony Adam]

Ok, we are into July, so here is a calendar of things to do that will help maximise your chances of success...

Superstar Preparation

July:
Re-read the Core Rules volume - as a designer not a player.
Look at sentence structures and the language used.
Jot down ideas that are inspired or triggered.
Re-read the Bestiary 1, pay particular attention to the monster creation rules.
Jot down ideas that are inspired or triggered.

August:
Week 1 - read all winning items and judges feedback from 2008 & 2009 (64 items). Jot down ideas that are inspired or triggered. Why are we reading items from another system....? Because the theory craft behind the feedback stands for any system!
Week 2 - move on to items 2010, 2011. Jot down ideas that are inspired or triggered.
Week 3 - items 2012, 2013. Jot down ideas that are inspired or triggered.
Final week - items from 2014.
Jot down idea that are inspired or triggered.

September:
Read the world setting books and the gods setting books.
Jot down ideas that are inspired or triggered - reference back to the lore so if you end up doing that idea, you can get your lore right!

October:
Sort your ideas into possible rounds, Items, NPCs/Villains, Monsters, Encounters.

Week 1 - Develop first cut drafts of at least 5 of your items, and send them out to your review circles.
Week 2 - 3 Monsters at least now, and circulate for review.
Week 3 - Now 3 villains/NPCs, circulate for review.
Week 4 - 3 Encounters, circulate for review AND playtest them over the next 3 weeks.

November:

As your review feedback comes back, narrow your items down - this is your main immediate focus in the December run up.

In the meantime, polish your favorite items, read the extra books teh Advanced's, the Bestiaries

Get at least 3 items to what you think and believe are Superstar quality submissions.

Wait for the December announcement with confidence, knowing you are well prepared.

December

The hard part, when the competition starts, DO NOT POST in the first 5 days. READ THE Round RULES - is your entry going to break them? Rework as necessary.

Beware, the judges/Paizo may add a twist to the item rounds and know that if they really change it up, you have prepared fully and can react quickly and with confidence.

When you Enter = DO NOT mess up your entry, take time to get the formatting right and use the PREVIEW button A LOT.

There are normally two boxes...

The title thin box contains your submission item name - WITHOUT any bb coding - it does not count towards your item words.

Paste your duly bb code formatted item into the larger second box, including the name WITH the bb bold encoding around it.

PREVIEW it at this point

Word count good?
Formatting nice and voter friendly?

If not, cancel the preview and fix up your entry, rinse and repeat.

If you are happy...

SUBMIT!

Good luck!

[Nick Wasko]

Kerny wrote:

Unfolding Ladder

Not a bad draft. Most of my big-picture comments have already been noted by Jacob, Mikko, and Anthony, so I'll just mention a few nit-pics that I noticed.

The name might work better as "Folding Ladder" instead of "Unfolding." There is already a precedent with the folding boat, and I personally think it flows more smoothly. I would also add a comma between "obstacles" and "though," just to break up the flow of the sentence (I found myself stumbling over the last bit).

Anthony Adam wrote:

Spell Thrower

Whatever you've been doing with SKR, it's working; this item has a lot more mojo than some of your previous attempts, so well done there. With regards to throwing a written spell, does it work on spellbooks too, or just scrolls? That's an important clarification.

I think the ranged attack for throwing the ball needs a maximum range (or at least a range increment). I would phrase the second sentence, "Throwing the ball as a ranged attack causes the ink to splatter on contact, releasing the spell energy against the target on a successful hit."

I wouldn't say "If the spell channels energy" - channel energy is a class ability, and shouldn't be confused with a spell. If you say "uses positive or negative energy," that should suffice.

I don't understand the second to last paragraph at all ("If the total level of the character..."). That really needs to be put in simpler terms.

What happens if you use a spell that does not do damage? Does the item convert it into damage, or does the spell function as it would if cast normally, or does it just do nothing?

Overall I think you're starting with much stronger raw material for this idea. Keep up the good work!